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(NBC News)   TSA screeners will no longer be able to watch porn on the job   (nbcnews.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, TSA, John Pistole, United States House Committee on Homeland Security  
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10840 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 May 2013 at 10:32 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-31 10:33:38 AM  
I'm sorry is that frowned upon?
 
2013-05-31 10:35:48 AM  
Groping still A-OK.
 
2013-05-31 10:36:02 AM  
www.mirinteresen.net
 
2013-05-31 10:36:09 AM  
Does anybody actually believe this?
 
2013-05-31 10:36:59 AM  
Great. Now get rid of the bloated TSA.
 
2013-05-31 10:37:04 AM  
They can remove them because the machines have already been purchased and the DNC lobbiests got their pay back.

They never really needed them, but it was an easy way to throw money at friends.
 
2013-05-31 10:37:42 AM  
No more pointing and laughing?
 
2013-05-31 10:38:14 AM  
The terrorists win again...
 
2013-05-31 10:41:47 AM  
So, if I understand TFA correctly, they aren't actually removing the machines -- they're just modifying them to display only annotated cartoon outlines. We'll still be getting irradiated just as thoroughly and pointlessly, but our all-important modesty will be protected once more. As far as we know.
 
2013-05-31 10:42:04 AM  
They knew that they would never stop a terrorist and were a gross violation of the bill of rights, but were approved anyways because of crony capitalism.
 
2013-05-31 10:43:03 AM  
I'm gonna have to pick up one of these machines up on ebay
 
2013-05-31 10:43:07 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Does anybody actually believe this?


They're replacing the ones that show your balls with a generic image and a little box that highlights anything questionable looking. What's so hard to believe about that?
 
2013-05-31 10:44:17 AM  

jfarkinB: irradiated


[Citation Needed]
 
2013-05-31 10:45:52 AM  
Just opt out if you like.  Me and bafflerette do it every time we fly (which is a lot for work).  If we're going to spread eagle like a criminal, we're at least going to make someone grope us while we smile.

Fascinating fact, they chemical swab the gloves they use to grope you.  They do *not* chemical swab your bags...
 
2013-05-31 10:46:13 AM  
I don't give a shiat about the images. They've been proven to be easily foiled. They put out radiation. It's a complete farce.
 
2013-05-31 10:46:53 AM  

Fireproof: jfarkinB: irradiated

[Citation Needed]


They are supposed to be removing the x-ray based scanners in favor of millimeter wave scanners which produce no ionizing radiation.
 
2013-05-31 10:47:56 AM  

MugzyBrown: They can remove them because the machines have already been purchased and the DNC lobbiests got their pay back.

They never really needed them, but it was an easy way to throw money at friends.


i.huffpost.com
Michael Chertoff, DNC lobbyist and former head of the TSA under Obama

/oh, wait, it wasn't Obama?
 
2013-05-31 10:48:48 AM  

BafflerMeal: Just opt out if you like.  Me and bafflerette do it every time we fly (which is a lot for work).  If we're going to spread eagle like a criminal, we're at least going to make someone grope us while we smile.

Fascinating fact, they chemical swab the gloves they use to grope you.  They do *not* chemical swab your bags...


Next time I fly, I'm going to be fondling myself in line and as for the *extra* special happy ending TSA search. I'll even go over to the wall and bend over 90 degrees and grab my ass cheeks like I'm pulling a TSA GOATSE
 
2013-05-31 10:49:24 AM  

Citrate1007: They knew that they would never stop a terrorist and were a gross violation of the bill of rights, but were approved anyways because of crony capitalism.


THIS.
 
2013-05-31 10:50:05 AM  

jfivealive: I'm gonna have to pick up one of these machines up on ebay


You just need to pick up the hard drive with all of the images stored on it. Much easier to carry.

/Wonders if the images are categorized
/Weeners/Big
/Weeners/Small
/TitsorGTFO
 
2013-05-31 10:55:29 AM  

jfarkinB: if I understand TFA correctly


The article is poorly written and unclear, but it is the  backscatter machines that are being removed. Backscatter machines use x-rays that reflect off the human body, and, well,  they're x-rays. Ionizing radiation and all that. They are being replaced with millimeter wave systems, which are essentially radar systems. I don't know if humans are reflective enough in millimeter wave to generate a real image, but many solid objects definitely are. In either case, they're tuning the machines to threshold imaging well above the point where human bodies would be detected.

Essentially, we're back to something much closer to metal detectors, but capable of detecting other kinds of objects. It's still a scandalous waste of money and time, but it's not a serious safety/privacy hazard anymore.
 
2013-05-31 11:08:47 AM  
TSA screener: "I'm going to move my hands up your thighs until I meet resistance."
Me: "How did you know what I call my balls?!"
 
2013-05-31 11:11:26 AM  

ChipNASA: [www.mirinteresen.net image 700x369]


I'm not a freeper or a constitutional obsessive, but I need this.
 
2013-05-31 11:12:27 AM  

t3knomanser: It's still a scandalous waste of money and time, but it's not a serious safety/privacy hazard anymore.

I do hope the old manufacturer left a big pile of money for all the cancer suits settlements.  It would only be fitting to name the radiation effects the Chertoff Cancer.
 
2013-05-31 11:14:35 AM  
Google glass should have this with guy/girl option.
 
2013-05-31 11:14:49 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

These are the most common scanners in airports and not an x-ray machine, in case you were wondering.  They also do not work very well at detecting objects that are not obvious and are very likely a  waste of time.
 
2013-05-31 11:15:19 AM  

MugzyBrown: They can remove them because the machines have already been purchased and the DNC lobbiests got their pay back.

They never really needed them, but it was an easy way to throw money at friends.


This reminds me of the headline earlier this week about who lies more conservatives/liberals.
 
2013-05-31 11:16:49 AM  

BitwiseShift: t3knomanser: It's still a scandalous waste of money and time, but it's not a serious safety/privacy hazard anymore.
I do hope the old manufacturer left a big pile of money for all the cancer suits settlements.  It would only be fitting to name the radiation effects the Chertoff Cancer.


It would be extremely difficult to prove the machines cause cancer.  The levels are very low.  If you have granite countertops you're getting a higher dose daily.
 
2013-05-31 11:16:51 AM  
I'm sure some low level employee is going to be severely scolded over this egregious waste of taxpayer funds.
 
2013-05-31 11:19:13 AM  

Private_Citizen: TSA screener: "I'm going to move my hands up your thighs until I meet resistance."
Me: "How did you know what I call my balls?!"


Me: Does a smack across the side of the head count as resistance?
 
2013-05-31 11:22:02 AM  
I won't be happy till we get back to pre-9/11 security. Having to spread like a criminal to get on a plane is a sad farce. That we've come to accept that we are to be treated a potential criminals shows how far the USA has fallen.

Not that pre 9/11 security was perfect, but it was much less paranoid, aggressive and idiotic. And you could actually meet people at the gates as well.

fark the TSA, fark homeland security, fark meddling in foreign countries, and fark what the US has become.
 
2013-05-31 11:24:05 AM  

Fireproof: Smeggy Smurf: Does anybody actually believe this?

They're replacing the ones that show your balls with a generic image and a little box that highlights anything questionable looking. What's so hard to believe about that?


So it's still gonna show my balls then?

What?
 
2013-05-31 11:24:55 AM  

Citrate1007: MugzyBrown: They can remove them because the machines have already been purchased and the DNC lobbiests got their pay back.

They never really needed them, but it was an easy way to throw money at friends.

This reminds me of the headline earlier this week about who lies more conservatives/liberals.


Do you think it's a coincidence the CEO of OSI systems got a ride with the President to India a couple of  years ago?
 
2013-05-31 11:26:40 AM  

DeathCipris: Great. Now get rid of the bloated TSA.


Why do you hate jobs?
 
2013-05-31 11:30:27 AM  
BafflerMeal


Just opt out if you like. Me and bafflerette do it every time we fly (which is a lot for work). If we're going to spread eagle like a criminal, we're at least going to make someone grope us while we smile.

I always opt out also. One time I was asked why and I told the guy I prefer the soft touch of a human.
 
2013-05-31 11:32:41 AM  
Y'know, I make cracks about Chertoff, but MugzyBrown, as much as he might want to efface Republican culpability, does have a point other than his head: when it comes to security theater, both sides really are bad. Notice how the Obama administration hasn't even tried to rein in the TSA.

We can't let ourselves forget who started it, but we also mustn't ignore who hasn't stopped it.
 
2013-05-31 11:36:19 AM  

Citrate1007: MugzyBrown: They can remove them because the machines have already been purchased and the DNC lobbiests got their pay back.

They never really needed them, but it was an easy way to throw money at friends.

This reminds me of the headline earlier this week about who lies more conservatives/liberals.


It is a dead heat.
 
2013-05-31 11:37:13 AM  

Fireproof: Smeggy Smurf: Does anybody actually believe this?

They're replacing the ones that show your balls with a generic image and a little box that highlights anything questionable looking. What's so hard to believe about that?


What's hard to believe is that anything the government is saying is the truth.  They've been lying to us for so long that only a fool would take them at their word.
 
2013-05-31 11:38:24 AM  
It's a nice start, but I'm still not going anywhere near an airport until the goons themselves are history.
 
2013-05-31 11:43:35 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: It's a nice start, but I'm still not going anywhere near an airport until the goons themselves are history.


File me under boycotting the entire industry until it pulls its fascist head out of its ass.
 
PJ-
2013-05-31 11:45:15 AM  
Last I flew through the States, I was with my girlfriend and it was her first time flying the States.  She had heard stories about the TSA and these backscatter machines, she wasn't really concerned with most of that.  She was more concerned with me, and my enjoyment of creating a scene in public.  Before we even enter the lineup to clear customs, she looks at me with death in her eyes 'if you cause a scene that causes us to miss our plane, you get NOTHING during our vacation'.  So I had to settle with getting scanned without getting a nice firm rub down.

She made up for it though.
 
2013-05-31 11:46:01 AM  
FTFA: The TSA beat their deadline by two weeks for modifying the scanners. The technology was originally mandated to be removed by June 2012 under the Federal Aviation Administration's Modernization and Reform Act of 2012, but the deadline was extended to May 31, 2013.

Uhmm, no. They missed their deadline by 50 weeks, but obtained an extension.
 
2013-05-31 11:46:44 AM  

BafflerMeal: Just opt out if you like.  Me and bafflerette do it every time we fly (which is a lot for work).  If we're going to spread eagle like a criminal, we're at least going to make someone grope us while we smile.

Fascinating fact, they chemical swab the gloves they use to grope you.  They do *not* chemical swab your bags...


Me too this.  I refuse to walk through those machines.  First time I opted out the TSA dude got real snippy with me, then they somehow singled me out at the boarding gate to recheck my bags.  I said "really? So it's not a coincidence that the first time I opt out you're pulling me out of line to recheck my bags?"  The agent muttered something like "that's not how we operate", didn't really look at anything just opened one bag and shut it again, then sent me on my way.  I wanted to say something like "didn't you check my bags properly the first time?", but didn't.  I mean really - at what point in the airport am I going to pick up contraband AFTER I've been through the security line?? Doofuses.
 
2013-05-31 11:47:48 AM  
The government said it, so it MUST be true. The government can't say anything that isn't true.
 
2013-05-31 11:51:14 AM  
DeathCipris

Great. Now get rid of the bloated TSA.

www.upl.co

// thanks dims
 
2013-05-31 11:51:23 AM  

PJ-: Last I flew through the States, I was with my girlfriend and it was her first time flying the States.  She had heard stories about the TSA and these backscatter machines, she wasn't really concerned with most of that.  She was more concerned with me, and my enjoyment of creating a scene in public.  Before we even enter the lineup to clear customs, she looks at me with death in her eyes 'if you cause a scene that causes us to miss our plane, you get NOTHING during our vacation'.  So I had to settle with getting scanned without getting a nice firm rub down.

She made up for it though.


As should we all be rewarded for doing nothing...

/ bows to the master
 
2013-05-31 11:54:57 AM  

TheDirtyNacho: If you have granite countertops you're getting a higher dose daily.


I've never really bought this (or the ever popular "You'll get a higher dose at cruising altitude") as an acceptable excuse for the machines.
 
2013-05-31 11:58:17 AM  
For folks not from the USA, here is where TSA "agents" rank in the Order of Things, from highest to lowest, when it comes to government "protective" personnel, with external references for context in curly brackets.

Top: Front-line military/beat cops, fire personnel.
2: Mid-level administrators/officers of the above.
3: {Decent human beings in general}
4: Senior administrators
5: {Local politicians}
6: {Attorneys}
7: {Orangutans}
8: {State Politicians}
9: {Drug dealers}
10: {Rabid dogs}
11: {National Politicians}
12: Rent-A-Cops (private security firms)
13: Mall rent-a-cops (even lower private security firms)
14: {dirty underwear}
15: {anything under the dirty underwear in the laundry pile for at least a week}
16: {mosquitoes carrying encephalitis}
17: {plague fleas}
18: {pedophiles}
19: TSA "agents".

The TSA hires people who couldn't get work serving fast food.
 
2013-05-31 12:06:31 PM  

Silly_Sot: For folks not from the USA, here is where TSA "agents" rank in the Order of Things, from highest to lowest, when it comes to government "protective" personnel, with external references for context in curly brackets.

Top: Front-line military/beat cops, fire personnel.
2: Mid-level administrators/officers of the above.
3: {Decent human beings in general}
4: Senior administrators
5: {Local politicians}
6: {Attorneys}
7: {Orangutans}
8: {State Politicians}
9: {Drug dealers}
10: {Rabid dogs}
11: {National Politicians}
12: Rent-A-Cops (private security firms)
13: Mall rent-a-cops (even lower private security firms)
14: {dirty underwear}
15: {anything under the dirty underwear in the laundry pile for at least a week}
16: {mosquitoes carrying encephalitis}
17: {plague fleas}
18: {pedophiles}
19: TSA "agents".

The TSA hires people who couldn't get work serving fast food.


20. Comcast customer support.

At least the TSA "agents" have something to look down on.
 
2013-05-31 12:07:57 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: TheDirtyNacho: If you have granite countertops you're getting a higher dose daily.

I've never really bought this (or the ever popular "You'll get a higher dose at cruising altitude") as an acceptable excuse for the machines.



I don't think the machines do what they're intended to (stop terrorists).  But they're not harmful to health and when someone goes on about "omg cancer" it just spreads ignorance.
 
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