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A hunch back at the bell tower, bestiality porn man gets off on a technicality--among other things, and SeaLab 2015: some of Fark's favorite Headlines Of The Week for 5/19 - 5/25
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-05-30 10:16:20 AM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1523 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 May 2013 at 10:18 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Enjoy the headlines, see you next week

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-05-19 to Sat 2013-05-25:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Best Korea fires 6th missile into the sea. Reports say that the Ocean is winning but is taking on water  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Police round up two baby goats running in traffic ... *sigh* ... kids these days  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man kills self in Notre Dame cathedral in Paris. Tour guide not surprised, says he had a hunch back at the bell tower  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Jodi Arias feels betrayed by jury. And you know how she deals with betrayal  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  First female amputee to climb Everest looks forward to final leg  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  "3rd Grader Who Loved to Sing Among the OK Tornado Victims": That is one disturbed 3rd grader  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man accused of bestiality porn gets off on a technicality. Also, a horse, several dogs, a lemur and a pack of ferrets  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Polite young men who wear neckerchiefs, colorful badges and khaki shorts in public are now allowed to be openly gay  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Jodi Arias likes her juries just like her men: Hung  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Germany voted most popular country in the world. Well, not in Poland or France...but still  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Experts say that U.S. schools should make physical education a core subject. Probably because most kids' core is pretty much surrounded by several layers of fat  


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Goetze unlikely to play in UEFA Champions League final, leaving Borussia Dortmund with a big offensive hole to fill and its backfield susceptible to penetration  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  New putting rule in golf will result in an increase of strokes due to iron deficiencies  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Reggie Bush came to Detroit to win championships, just like he went to USC for their fine engineering school  


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  American scientists pumped to have fully operational $239 million laboratory at bottom of Pacific Ocean by 2015, are tempted to dub it SeaLab 2015  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Scientists say penguins traded their power of flight for swimming prowess. Which makes sense, if you've ever tried to catch fish in the air  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Giving white people the illusion of darker skin makes them less racist, says study funded by the National Association of Tanning Bed Operators  


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Brad Pitt believes he suffers from "face blindness", just like Edward Norton  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Madonna wears a sweatshirt with an AK-47 on it, which is the most controversial thing you'll see all day from a woman going through menopause  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Eva Longoria graduates from Cal State with a master's in Chicano studies, plans to take the summer off and try to get a job at McDonalds to complete the college experience  


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  In the wake of the worst, most scandal filled week in the history of politics the President's approval rating has plummeted up several points. Just resign already, failbama  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  McConnell predicts that Obamacare will dominate mid-terms, as well as, 2012 election, 2016 election, 2020 election, 2080 election, the fall of mankind, the rise of the apes, the first meeting with Vulcans  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Former Miss American challenges Mitch McConnell for Senate. Voters predict it should comes down to who scores highest in the debates, primaries, swimsuit competition  


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Americans say they are less frugal than they were a few years ago, are now finally buying those luxuries they haven't been able to afford since 2007, like food, clothing, gasoline  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Carnival profits down on news that fewer people want to take a ride on a giant floating toilet  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Cuba lifts its ban against air conditioners and microwaves. Cubans: "What are air conditioners and microwaves?"
· · ·

2 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2013-05-30 10:47:21 AM  
Hmm, I wonder if the "new houses at highest in 3 1/2 years. Especially in Oklahoma" got in for context headline

/or maybe, it was just too soon
//I have yet to see a "too soon" headline that was actually too soon
 
2013-05-30 02:18:18 PM  
re the goetze headline....i submitted the same story way earlier:

Borussia Dortmund's Goetze will miss Champions League final, will be unable to stretch the field to its limit and create gaping holes in the defense; Goetze's absence leaves a vast, fearsome void
 
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