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(IntelliHub)   Today's made for Fark headline: Monsanto cucumbers cause genital baldness   (intellihub.com) divider line 61
    More: Repeat, Dalhousie University  
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2790 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 May 2013 at 1:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-30 12:15:02 PM
Clearly not enough people around here read Snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/cucumbers.asp
 
2013-05-30 12:16:56 PM
Just the genitals? Is that supposed to be a downside?
 
2013-05-30 12:41:35 PM
"Fully 3/4 of the people who ate these cukes had their crotch area hair fall out. This is not a joking matter at all...these people now have hairless heinies."

I need to start eating these. I could save a ton of money on razors, and also avoid waxing. As it stands now my groin area and heiny are hairier than a gorilla. TMI?
 
2013-05-30 12:48:49 PM
And if you think the cucumbers are bad, just wait until they're pickled
 
2013-05-30 01:02:40 PM
Man, that sounds a lot safer than shaving them, and a lot less painful than waxing them.

Bring on the nut-balding cucumbers!~
 
2013-05-30 01:03:07 PM
Still?  Didn't they bring this up around the same time last year?
 
2013-05-30 01:04:12 PM
Breathtaking!
 
2013-05-30 01:04:46 PM

spman: Clearly not enough people around here read Snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/cucumbers.asp


I was told on here recently that Snopes is funded by the liberal agenda and none of it is true. 

Now I have cognitive dissonance.
 
2013-05-30 01:05:01 PM
Dalhousie study... need I go on?
 
2013-05-30 01:05:22 PM

ElusiveWookiee: Still?  Didn't they bring this up around the same time last year?


Yeah. I'm sure we've had this on FARK already.
 
2013-05-30 01:05:30 PM
You say that like it's a bad thing,  Subby.
 
2013-05-30 01:05:31 PM
I've heard Nairy a complaint about this until now.
 
2013-05-30 01:06:35 PM
by  Robin Steel
The Lapine
May 28, 2013

(this article is satire)
 
2013-05-30 01:06:38 PM
The first words in the article were  THIS IS SATIRE. Tardmitter.
 
2013-05-30 01:06:38 PM
Stupid satire repeat from last year is still stupid.
 
2013-05-30 01:07:15 PM

awalkingecho: spman: Clearly not enough people around here read Snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/cucumbers.asp

I was told on here recently that Snopes is funded by the liberal agenda and none of it is true. 

Now I have cognitive dissonance.


They are a bunch of libs. But other than political stuff they're usually accurate enough to be a credible source.  For controversial stuff no fewer than three sources are needed.  Preferably polar opposites with a random asshole.  If all three agree, it's true.
 
2013-05-30 01:07:31 PM
my girlfriend is a professional laser hair removal tech, so I'll guess she'll have to become a farmer now
 
2013-05-30 01:08:20 PM
That would be awesome.

I'm nervous with a razor, and the warnings on the Nair packaging about usage south of the border are DEFINITELY to be heeded.
 
2013-05-30 01:08:21 PM
from chafing?
 
2013-05-30 01:08:55 PM
Wow, a Canuck ver of The Onion (The Lapine) gets greenlit. Oh, how I miss the Fark of a decade ago.
 
2013-05-30 01:09:36 PM
They'll clearly fly off the shelves in the brazilian market, but there may be some changes needed for the european market (if terrible 80s porn is any indication..)
 
2013-05-30 01:10:20 PM
Well, hell, I bet it's cheaper than waxing, and a ton easier too! :)
 
2013-05-30 01:10:26 PM

awalkingecho: spman: Clearly not enough people around here read Snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/cucumbers.asp

I was told on here recently that Snopes is funded by the liberal agenda and none of it is true. 

Now I have cognitive dissonance.


Even a stopped clock is right twice a day...
 
2013-05-30 01:10:57 PM

awalkingecho: I was told on here recently that Snopes is funded by the liberal agenda and none of it is true.


imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-05-30 01:11:03 PM
The article said it was satire.

I thought satire was supposed to be actually funny...

Go figure.
 
2013-05-30 01:11:12 PM
Like the cycle of the seasons--spring to fall, fall to summer, winter to fall, then summer to summer--this is a cyclical Fark repeat.
 
2013-05-30 01:11:45 PM
It makes mine look *BIGGER*, you know.
 
2013-05-30 01:12:21 PM
Brilliant satire. Love the fact that they included Eric LaMaze's name, as he is a Canadian Olympic Equestrian. The impeachment of Rob Ford line really gave it away though...
 
2013-05-30 01:12:33 PM
I heard a good coating of oil on the cucumber negates these effects.
 
2013-05-30 01:12:47 PM
ts1.mm.bing.net
I briefly dated a woman who could have used some of cucumbers these in her diet.
She loooked like she had Buckweat in a leg-lock.
 
2013-05-30 01:12:51 PM

awalkingecho: spman: Clearly not enough people around here read Snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/cucumbers.asp

I was told on here recently that Snopes is funded by the liberal agenda and none of it is true. 

Now I have cognitive dissonance.


Snopes did investigate the claim that Snopes is false, the results of that claim were debunked.
 
2013-05-30 01:13:00 PM

spman: Clearly not enough people around here read Snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/cucumbers.asp


Other than the bit about "chafing", I don't see why this would be a bad thing. Hell, they'd figure out "why" and then market it as a pill. Who wouldn't rather take a pill instead of getting waxed?
 
2013-05-30 01:13:32 PM
I need to get my hands on some of these cukes, I got a thicket "down there".
 
2013-05-30 01:13:41 PM
Someone should nut punch subby.
 
2013-05-30 01:17:13 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

"This article is satire" appears RIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE ARTICLE.

//facepalm derptastic stupitude
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-05-30 01:17:59 PM
Sorry... I need a reference from a site that DOES NOT run this ad:

intellihub.com

Using the term "Gun Grabber" is the newest mark of a moron.
 
2013-05-30 01:18:04 PM
Does it work on Back hair? cuz I would eat the hell out of those things...
 
2013-05-30 01:19:30 PM
How the hell can this be called satire? The only thing being satirized is satire. It's a Mobius strip of failure.
 
2013-05-30 01:20:03 PM
The Onion had a real zinger the other day. Seriously, funniest one I've read in quite awhile.
Link
 
2013-05-30 01:20:49 PM

awalkingecho: I was told on here recently that Snopes is funded by the liberal agenda and none of it is true.


It's just a guy and his wife offering their opinion on different things, which was seemingly chosen at random to be the final word on different things. Every now and then they do provide evidence to back up their claims which can be found with a simple internet search, and the site is handy for people who have trouble doing research and thinking for themselves.

/just tell me what to think, dammit
//there are TV shows to watch
 
2013-05-30 01:23:34 PM
Monsanto trifecta in play?
 
2013-05-30 01:23:38 PM
I saw my girlfriend walk into the bedroom with a cucumber just the other day.....and she is bald down there - therefore, they must be Monsanto.
 
2013-05-30 01:25:31 PM
A six-month study by AgriSearch, an on-campus research arm of Dalhousie University, has shown that genetically modified (GM) cucumbers grown under license to Monsanto Inc. result in serious side effects including total groin hair loss and chafing in "sensitive areas", leading to the immediate and total ban of sales of all that company's crop and subsequent dill pickles.

LuckyCharms, please come to the courtesy phone...LuckyCharms, please come to the courtesy phone.
 
2013-05-30 01:26:08 PM
This is great news, no more razor burn.
 
2013-05-30 01:27:22 PM
Wrap it in foil first
majorleaguesoccertalk.com
 
2013-05-30 01:28:28 PM
Oh boy, months-old non-Onion satire.  Greenlight that mother, posthaste.
 
2013-05-30 01:31:52 PM
That would be terrible..  Has no one here shaved their ass ever?  I had a friend who tried that once and it was a nightmare.  When he ran/sweated it was chafing and unbearable.  He never did that again.

plus when you run our of cucumbers and the stubble comes in....

/yes, knows its satire
 
2013-05-30 01:32:00 PM

Walker: "Fully 3/4 of the people who ate these cukes had their crotch area hair fall out. This is not a joking matter at all...these people now have hairless heinies."

I need to start eating these. I could save a ton of money on razors, and also avoid waxing. As it stands now my groin area and heiny are hairier than a gorilla. TMI?


TMI?  Not Enough Information, you sexy teddy bear!

(Sorry, not at all gay, just couldn't resist the joke.)

(Seriously, stop sending me WIE....)
 
2013-05-30 01:40:19 PM

Walker: "Fully 3/4 of the people who ate these cukes had their crotch area hair fall out. This is not a joking matter at all...these people now have hairless heinies."

I need to start eating these. I could save a ton of money on razors, and also avoid waxing. As it stands now my groin area and heiny are hairier than a gorilla. TMI?


NEI
 
2013-05-30 01:40:27 PM
FYI:  Coffee coming out of your nose hurts like an SOB!!!

*** you owe me a new monitor and keyboard.

/DNRTA
//Headline says it all.
 
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