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(Salon)   A device that Ailes had installed in every green room in the building methodically sucks the life force out of five adorable baby puppies and deposits it into O'Reilly's face, keeping him fresh and youthful-looking for one more day   (salon.com) divider line 65
    More: Amusing, o'reilly, Roger Ailes, Sean Hannity, Bernie Goldberg, most massive stars, senior producer, caller ID, Bill Shine  
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2187 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 May 2013 at 8:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-30 12:15:46 PM  

xxmedium: rufus-t-firefly: Hey, he'll help you relax.
 
Typed Bill O'Reilly dirty talk is the language equivalent of the Winston Churchill in drag visual.


I do want a shower now, though. So thanks for that.

rufus-t-firefly: And what grown-ass man uses the word "boobs" when trying to arouse a woman?

The kind whose idea of passion culminates in a lights-out, four minute, missionary only session while still wearing black dress socks and sock garters?


Clearly you've never read "Those Who Trespass", which is one of the most disturbing fantasy novels I've ever read.

Let me make this clear:  I'm not talking about swords and sorcery, I'm talking about Bill O'Reilly's ultimate fantasy world put on paper.

A serial killer (O'Reilly) starts killing political figures, both media and legislative.  And it's in extremely disturbing and specific ways, and these figures include composites of both Hillary Clinton and Michael Moore.  He's pursued by a detective (also O'Reilly) and both of them bang the heroine, a big-busted blonde (which could be any woman on Fox, but I'm thinking Megyn Kelly or Gretchen Carlson).

Best line?  "Put down that pole and get this pole up."

Especially when delivered by O'Reilly himself on his audiobook.
 
2013-05-30 12:33:19 PM  

phaseolus: That was entertaining, and the bit about the content generated from the bottom up was both unexpected and interesting.

But what I'm really waiting for is a bunch of similar books written by insiders in the Republican Legislative and Executive branches in the 2000s. I'd half-expected to have a couple of those by now but I haven't seen any. Why not? Were they *that* careful to hire only extremely loyal partisans? Is there some sort of legal contract or other implied you'll-never-work-in-this-town-again threat that keeps everyone silent? Are they waiting for Cheney to kick the bucket? Or just waiting for the R implosion to progress a little further?


I'm still waiting for the book of someone inside the Romney presidential campaign.
 
2013-05-30 12:50:42 PM  

spongeboob: Car_Ramrod: Yea, but kids are stupid

Tell me about have you ever tried to discuss politics with a six year old.  And don't even get me started on having a five year old help you move.


They can't even hold their liquor!
 
2013-05-30 01:00:37 PM  

The Lone Gunman: xxmedium: rufus-t-firefly: Hey, he'll help you relax.

Typed Bill O'Reilly dirty talk is the language equivalent of the Winston Churchill in drag visual.


I do want a shower now, though. So thanks for that.

rufus-t-firefly: And what grown-ass man uses the word "boobs" when trying to arouse a woman?

The kind whose idea of passion culminates in a lights-out, four minute, missionary only session while still wearing black dress socks and sock garters?

Clearly you've never read "Those Who Trespass", which is one of the most disturbing fantasy novels I've ever read.

Let me make this clear:  I'm not talking about swords and sorcery, I'm talking about Bill O'Reilly's ultimate fantasy world put on paper.

A serial killer (O'Reilly) starts killing political figures, both media and legislative.  And it's in extremely disturbing and specific ways, and these figures include composites of both Hillary Clinton and Michael Moore.  He's pursued by a detective (also O'Reilly) and both of them bang the heroine, a big-busted blonde (which could be any woman on Fox, but I'm thinking Megyn Kelly or Gretchen Carlson).

Best line?  "Put down that pole and get this pole up."

Especially when delivered by O'Reilly himself on his audiobook.


And he's so convincing.

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2009/03/off_with_those.ph p

"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."

"I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on."

"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."

"Off with those pants."
 
2013-05-30 01:18:54 PM  

92myrtle: That's actually somewhat of a sympathetic article to O'Reilly.  Yeah, he's insane...but the writer frames that in "method to the madness" terms about how he takes his OCD, unawareness, and volcanic temper and focuses it into a means of...stunning success that's probably the only specific means of achieving stunning success that a guy that addled-with-his-own-head can muster.  Yeah, the anecdotes are snicker-worthy, but there's something to be said for applying every ounce of it.  Even the ratings obsession; that is, after all, the bottom line in this business.  He may be a P.I.T.A. boss...not even the type who rides you hard because he cares, just a pain...but given how the staff sticks by him he seems to be the kind of boss where you'll put up with anything because the results speak for themselves.  And maybe, partly, because he seems to hate the 2nd floor as much as anyone and is one of the few in the building brazen enough to not put up with that shiat.


"2nd floor" (Ailes) seems entirely consistent with the creepy picture painted by other ex-employees.  Yeah...there's a method to that madness too, but the 1984-ishness seems a lot more lifeforce-sucking overall than the voices in O'Reilly's head.


The theme seems to be that as bad as O'Reilly is, others in the building (Ailes and Hannity, for instance) are worse. But the picture he paints of Bill-O is still pretty damaging.

The NewsFax story, for instance, is a merely cited as a benign example of the type of mindset that led O'Reilly to repeat the sixteen-dollar muffin story for weeks after it was definitively debunked. That story alone is reason enough not to take Fox News's "journalism" seriously.

Also cited was O'Reilly's cynical obsession with ratings, to the point where ratings become the sole measure of a story's importance. Because he is conceited enough to believe that he is still a real journalist, ratings and newsworthiness have become equated to the extent that he probably sincerely believes that what's good for Bill O'Reilly is good for the country. I'm reminded of Burt Lancaster in Sweet Smell of Success, particularly the scene in which Hunsecker, after Steve Dallas condemns his politics during the broadcasting his radio show, Hunsecker claims that when Dallas insulted him he was insulting millions of patriotic Americans.
 
2013-05-30 01:21:08 PM  

Cornelius Dribble: Also cited was O'Reilly's cynical obsession with ratings, to the point where ratings become the sole measure of a story's importance. Because he is conceited enough to believe that he is still a real journalist, ratings and newsworthiness have become equated to the extent that he probably sincerely believes that what's good for Bill O'Reilly is good for the country. I'm reminded of Burt Lancaster in Sweet Smell of Success, particularly the scene in which Hunsecker, after Steve Dallas condemns his politics during the broadcasting his radio show, Hunsecker claims that when Dallas insulted him he was insulting millions of patriotic Americans.


Memo to self: no matter how of a hurry I'm in, Preview is my friend.
 
2013-05-30 01:45:50 PM  

Cornelius Dribble: Also cited was O'Reilly's cynical obsession with ratings, to the point where ratings become the sole measure of a story's importance. Because he is conceited enough to believe that he is still a real journalist, ratings and newsworthiness have become equated to the extent that he probably sincerely believ ...


He also factors in emails on what topics generate the most interest.
 
2013-05-30 03:14:51 PM  

Emposter: Ignore BU. The article is actually really well written. There are a few funny bits, and a TINY bit of politics, but mostly its a great look into how the organization actually works, though mostly from a Bill-O-centric viewpoint.


It's both the funniest and the most fascinating thing I've read in a long time. I think BU is just doing damage control and trying to play it down.

Either that, or he's so used to reading Right wing media that well-written pieces more than 3 sentences long challenge him.
 
2013-05-30 03:16:42 PM  
 "We're doing a gay marriage segment - get me a black lesbian civil rights attorney!"

"I want to do a segment on the Super Bowl next week - find me a funny white sports expert under forty! But he can't be bald."


Who says Righties can't be funny? That right there is Comedy Gold™.
 
2013-05-30 03:30:37 PM  

Mrfusticle: Jackson Herring: also holy shiat if you can't follow that article

Are you saying he didn't meander? Cos he was meandering like the source of the Amazon in there.

/meander


In other words, not at all? Rivers meander, but their sources are pretty consistent.

And once again, it's not that hard to follow for anyone not rolling on a gram of meth. Jesus, MTv has rotted brains even after they stopped being relevant, this Short Attention Span Theatre bullshiat has got to stop. I had to read more challenging shiat in 4th grade, for God's sake.

And, BTW: They identified the source of the Amazon something like 15 years or so ago.
 
2013-05-30 03:51:41 PM  

jayhawk88: The Fox News offices have a sacrificial alter (carved from stone hewn from Golgotha) in the basement, with a pentagram drawn on the floor in living flame that never burns out, but that's just for show, something to keep the production assistants busy. Six sub-basements below that is where the real action takes place. There, in an unnaturally cold room that opens into a small cave, rests the Shrine of the Multi-Faced One. Ever shifting, it appears as many things to different people, and some claim they can hear it singing a soft song that sounds like war. Each on-air personality must spend a week alone in this cave, given nothing but a supply of water and a sharp knife. If after a week of being that close to the shrine, they have not cut their own jugular, they are considered "Fair and Balanced".


This post made me shiver IRL.
 
2013-05-30 03:56:05 PM  

The Lone Gunman: xxmedium: rufus-t-firefly: Hey, he'll help you relax.
 
Typed Bill O'Reilly dirty talk is the language equivalent of the Winston Churchill in drag visual.


I do want a shower now, though. So thanks for that.

rufus-t-firefly: And what grown-ass man uses the word "boobs" when trying to arouse a woman?

The kind whose idea of passion culminates in a lights-out, four minute, missionary only session while still wearing black dress socks and sock garters?

Clearly you've never read "Those Who Trespass", which is one of the most disturbing fantasy novels I've ever read.

Let me make this clear:  I'm not talking about swords and sorcery, I'm talking about Bill O'Reilly's ultimate fantasy world put on paper.

A serial killer (O'Reilly) starts killing political figures, both media and legislative.  And it's in extremely disturbing and specific ways, and these figures include composites of both Hillary Clinton and Michael Moore.  He's pursued by a detective (also O'Reilly) and both of them bang the heroine, a big-busted blonde (which could be any woman on Fox, but I'm thinking Megyn Kelly or Gretchen Carlson).

Best line?  "Put down that pole and get this pole up."

Especially when delivered by O'Reilly himself on his audiobook.


A co-worker and I bought 'Those Who Tresspass' used on Amazon for 10 cents. We'd take breaks during the day, open to a random page and read. It was never not hysterical.

I thought the article was entertaining as hell, but not a real surprise. O'Reilly has always been more about his ratings than any ideology. He knows what his listeners want and he obviously delivers in spades, if not loofahs. I almost admire it, but he just seems like such an insufferable prick much of the time.

I loved the visual of him on the phone with Ailes, having to calmly lose his argument, hanging up and then just raging and taking it out on his staff.
 
2013-05-30 08:31:34 PM  
For all the idiots with the reading comprehension and attention span of a 4 year old, here are some edited highlights:

There was never any centralized control like that. No "marching orders," as it were. Instead, it was more a decentralized, entrepreneurial approach. Each showrunner - who had not risen to their position by being stupid - knew exactly what was expected of them, knew what topics and guests would be acceptable.

...

Comedian Bill Maher, once a semi-regular guest on "The Factor" and some other Fox shows, made too many cracks about Sarah Palin over the years, raising the ire of a powerful female VP who banned him from our air and demanded that all Fox-affiliated websites refer to him only as "Pig Maher."

Sometimes entire organizations were given lifetime bans. The website Politico wrote something a few years back that rubbed Roger the wrong way (we were never told what exactly the transgression was) and word went out to all the shows: No more Politico reporters as guests. Also, any anchors who mentioned the site on air had to use the phrase "left-wing Politico"


...

"O'Reilly hates Sean [Hannity] and he hates Rush [Limbaugh] because they did better in radio than he did," Ailes said. Bill was furious for weeks. Because it turns out there is one thing he hated even more than management meddling: someone insulting his ratings.

...

We called it the Newsfax because it was easier to tell Bill we were faxing it to him than it was to explain that we were remotely printing it to his home printer. It's often simpler to let him believe something erroneously than it is to correct him.

...

Bill took the e-mails - sent by our audience to OR­eill­y­[nospam-﹫-backwards]sw­e­nx­o­f­*co­m - pretty seriously.  Each morning, two unlucky women on the staff had the unenviable job of sorting through the e-mails and printing out a representative sample of fifty to sixty. He selects a handful to be read on the air.  I'd glanced at the show's in-box from time to time and had been blown away by the sheer incoherence and illiteracy of some of the respondents. This would sometimes present a problem, for Bill liked his e-mails to be short, pithy, and not written by a complete moron.

On one occasion, there was an e-mail that Bill really wanted to read on the air. One of the producers noticed that the e-mail was signed with an obvious gag name: Jack MeHoff. After pondering for a bit, he decided on a course of action: "Let's just change the last name to Mehoffer." Despite producers pleading with him that the slight name change was not much, if at all, better than the original, Bill stuck to his guns, reading the letter with the modified name on air. The rest is YouTube history.


...

"We're doing a gay marriage segment - get me a black lesbian civil rights attorney!" or "I want to do a segment on the Super Bowl next week - find me a funny white sports expert under forty! But he can't be bald."
 
2013-05-31 12:11:00 AM  
[adds Bloody William's and jayhawk88's posts to collection of Farkpocalypse fan fic]
 
2013-05-31 03:26:28 AM  

rufus-t-firefly: The Lone Gunman: xxmedium: rufus-t-firefly: Hey, he'll help you relax.

Typed Bill O'Reilly dirty talk is the language equivalent of the Winston Churchill in drag visual.


I do want a shower now, though. So thanks for that.

rufus-t-firefly: And what grown-ass man uses the word "boobs" when trying to arouse a woman?

The kind whose idea of passion culminates in a lights-out, four minute, missionary only session while still wearing black dress socks and sock garters?

Clearly you've never read "Those Who Trespass", which is one of the most disturbing fantasy novels I've ever read.

Let me make this clear:  I'm not talking about swords and sorcery, I'm talking about Bill O'Reilly's ultimate fantasy world put on paper.

A serial killer (O'Reilly) starts killing political figures, both media and legislative.  And it's in extremely disturbing and specific ways, and these figures include composites of both Hillary Clinton and Michael Moore.  He's pursued by a detective (also O'Reilly) and both of them bang the heroine, a big-busted blonde (which could be any woman on Fox, but I'm thinking Megyn Kelly or Gretchen Carlson).

Best line?  "Put down that pole and get this pole up."

Especially when delivered by O'Reilly himself on his audiobook.

And he's so convincing.

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2009/03/off_with_those.ph p

"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."

"I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on."

"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."

"Off with those pants."


*gags*
 
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