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(Salon)   A device that Ailes had installed in every green room in the building methodically sucks the life force out of five adorable baby puppies and deposits it into O'Reilly's face, keeping him fresh and youthful-looking for one more day   (salon.com) divider line 66
    More: Amusing, o'reilly, Roger Ailes, Sean Hannity, Bernie Goldberg, most massive stars, senior producer, caller ID, Bill Shine  
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2186 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 May 2013 at 8:53 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-30 02:10:06 AM
I  can't finish TFA.  It's like trying to follow the ramblings of a drunk.
 
2013-05-30 08:58:56 AM
Ignore BU. The article is actually really well written. There are a few funny bits, and a TINY bit of politics, but mostly its a great look into how the organization actually works, though mostly from a Bill-O-centric viewpoint.
 
2013-05-30 09:01:58 AM

BarkingUnicorn: I  can't finish TFA.  It's like trying to follow the ramblings of a drunk.


He starts with an analogy of the sun/planets/moon and then just starts rambling........
 
2013-05-30 09:04:42 AM
The Fox News offices have a sacrificial alter (carved from stone hewn from Golgotha) in the basement, with a pentagram drawn on the floor in living flame that never burns out, but that's just for show, something to keep the production assistants busy. Six sub-basements below that is where the real action takes place. There, in an unnaturally cold room that opens into a small cave, rests the Shrine of the Multi-Faced One. Ever shifting, it appears as many things to different people, and some claim they can hear it singing a soft song that sounds like war. Each on-air personality must spend a week alone in this cave, given nothing but a supply of water and a sharp knife. If after a week of being that close to the shrine, they have not cut their own jugular, they are considered "Fair and Balanced".
 
2013-05-30 09:05:36 AM
The headline is seriously deranged.  Life force sucker outers are ALWAYS either in the kitchen or the mens room.

/everybody knows that
 
2013-05-30 09:06:26 AM

Citrate1007: BarkingUnicorn: I  can't finish TFA.  It's like trying to follow the ramblings of a drunk.

He starts with an analogy of the sun/planets/moon and then just starts rambling........


PTSD, I figure. I can't get through it.
 
2013-05-30 09:08:49 AM
It's actually a very good, eye-opening article.  I can just see BillO screaming at his driver while dictating the script of his show over the phone.  Insane.
 
2013-05-30 09:22:50 AM
Also, any anchors who mentioned the site on air had to use the phrase "left-wing Politico"

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-30 09:25:32 AM

jayhawk88: The Fox News offices have a sacrificial alter (carved from stone hewn from Golgotha) in the basement, with a pentagram drawn on the floor in living flame that never burns out, but that's just for show, something to keep the production assistants busy. Six sub-basements below that is where the real action takes place. There, in an unnaturally cold room that opens into a small cave, rests the Shrine of the Multi-Faced One. Ever shifting, it appears as many things to different people, and some claim they can hear it singing a soft song that sounds like war. Each on-air personality must spend a week alone in this cave, given nothing but a supply of water and a sharp knife. If after a week of being that close to the shrine, they have not cut their own jugular, they are considered "Fair and Balanced".


I want to believe that the explanation for foxnews is a concentration of the old ones' evil more than facing the reality that people are really that stupid.

/foxnews r'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
 
2013-05-30 09:27:08 AM
We called it the Newsfax because it was easier to tell Bill we were faxing it to him than it was to explain that we were remotely printing it to his home printer.
That's his audience, too.
 
2013-05-30 09:28:33 AM
Once upon a time, there was a place of great goodness, called the FOX News building. Gentle fawns gamboled there amidst happy, laughing spirits. The sounds of innocence and joy filled the air. And when it rained, it rained sweet nectar that infused one's heart with a desire to live life in truth and beauty. Generally speaking, a ghastly place, reeking of virtue's sour smell. Engorged with the whispered prayers of kneeling mothers, mewling newborns, and fools, young and old, compelled to do good without reason ... But, I am happy to point out that our story does not end in this wretched place of saccharine excess. For there's another place, its opposite: A place of almost unimaginable power, chock full of dark forces and vicious secrets. No prayers dare enter this frightful maw. The spirits there care not for good deeds or priestly invocations, they're as likely to rip the flesh from your bone as greet you with a happy "good day." And if harnessed, these spirits in this hidden land of unmuffled screams and broken hearts would offer up a power so vast that its bearer might reorder the Earth itself to his liking.
 
2013-05-30 09:29:26 AM
also holy shiat if you can't follow that article
 
2013-05-30 09:32:35 AM

BarkingUnicorn: I  can't finish TFA.  It's like trying to follow the ramblings of a drunk.


Aah.. Wasn't just me then.
I was finding the subject interesting but having real bother actually taking it in.. Cancel that shot of bromine, nurse!
 
2013-05-30 09:34:40 AM

Jackson Herring: also holy shiat if you can't follow that article


Are you saying he didn't meander? Cos he was meandering like the source of the Amazon in there.

/meander
 
2013-05-30 09:36:18 AM
"Actually, Bill, the muffin thing got debunked," Steiner started to tell him. "A guy from the hotel came out and said -"

"I don't give a shiat what the guy said," Bill interrupted, suddenly angry.


 As long as it fits the narrative the truth is always optional in Mr Ailes' neighborhood.

...a powerful female VP who banned him from our air and demanded that all Fox-affiliated websites refer to him only as "Pig Maher."

Wondered where that came from.
 
2013-05-30 09:37:39 AM

Mrfusticle: Jackson Herring: also holy shiat if you can't follow that article

Are you saying he didn't meander? Cos he was meandering like the source of the Amazon in there.

/meander


It was an excerpt from a book and not an actual article, maybe that was the problem.
 
2013-05-30 09:38:13 AM
Crotchety old people are crotchety and old but they are still people, people that are too old understand today's world.
 
2013-05-30 09:43:38 AM
It rambles a bit, and the fact that it appears to be drawn from different excerpts doesn't help, but it is an interesting read.  It's an interesting look at Bill O, that's for sure.

I mean, the guy is smart enough to set up his own show, outline every detail of his message, but can't understand how networked printers work?  Amazing.
 
2013-05-30 09:44:27 AM
That was entertaining, and the bit about the content generated from the bottom up was both unexpected and interesting.

But what I'm really waiting for is a bunch of similar books written by insiders in the Republican Legislative and Executive branches in the 2000s. I'd half-expected to have a couple of those by now but I haven't seen any. Why not? Were they *that* careful to hire only extremely loyal partisans? Is there some sort of legal contract or other implied you'll-never-work-in-this-town-again threat that keeps everyone silent? Are they waiting for Cheney to kick the bucket? Or just waiting for the R implosion to progress a little further?
 
2013-05-30 09:49:28 AM

Mrfusticle: Jackson Herring: also holy shiat if you can't follow that article

Are you saying he didn't meander? Cos he was meandering like the source of the Amazon in there.

/meander


Its a long read in a narrative format rather than a short news report. This is normal for investigative pieces, especially in this case since its straight out of a book.

Its the kind of piece I expect from Salon and Rolling Stone and the like. Sometimes its worth the time to read, sometimes not. This time it was, in my opinion.
 
2013-05-30 09:50:59 AM
Baby puppies? Aren't all puppies inherently babies?

/DRTFA
 
2013-05-30 09:56:50 AM
Every time he mentioned the "Second Floor" it was in the same tone as Winston discussed room 101.
 
2013-05-30 09:57:26 AM

BarkingUnicorn: I  can't finish TFA.  It's like trying to follow the ramblings of a drunk.


I can't imagine how much booze & pills it would take to work with O'Reilly.
 
2013-05-30 10:00:17 AM

ikanreed: Every time he mentioned the "Second Floor" it was in the same tone as Winston discussed room 101.


I sorta thought of it as the Senior Partners in Angel's Wolfram & Hart. That would make the Second Floor like the White Room I guess.
 
2013-05-30 10:00:47 AM

Where wolf: It rambles a bit, and the fact that it appears to be drawn from different excerpts doesn't help, but it is an interesting read.  It's an interesting look at Bill O, that's for sure.

I mean, the guy is smart enough to set up his own show, outline every detail of his message, but can't understand how networked printers work?  Amazing.


I've worked for people like that before.  How it works is unimportant as long as it works as needed when it's supposed to.
 
2013-05-30 10:03:44 AM
Anyone else watch the Daily Show the other night, with O'Reiily?
Seemed like some chunks were edited out. Dunno.
 
2013-05-30 10:03:53 AM
Boy is he going to be pissed when Jen puts the shard back in the dark crystal.  O'Reilly will have to recombine with Rachel Maddow to form one being.

/When single shines the triple sun...
 
2013-05-30 10:04:45 AM

aaronx: Citrate1007: BarkingUnicorn: I  can't finish TFA.  It's like trying to follow the ramblings of a drunk.

He starts with an analogy of the sun/planets/moon and then just starts rambling........

PTSD, I figure. I can't get through it.


o/

couldn't make it either
 
2013-05-30 10:05:23 AM
content9.flixster.com

Trial by stone!
 
2013-05-30 10:06:24 AM
Every once in a while, I flip over to Fox News when I'm bored.  Maybe once a month. Rarely there longer than a minute.  Last night it was O'Reilly, and he had Paul Ryan on.  It began with O'Reilly grinning, pointing at Ryan, and shouting, "EXACTLY!  EXACTLY!"  Then Ryan said something like, "This isn't even a partisan position.  This is common sense."  And something from O'Reilly like, "But liberals don't see it that way."

That was enough for me.
 
2013-05-30 10:11:24 AM

Where wolf: I mean, the guy is smart enough to set up his own show, outline every detail of his message, but can't understand how networked printers work? Amazing.


My boss has a Masters in Electrical Engineering from Cornell.  Even when I try to explain how to use his computer more effectively, or fix simple problems on a level that my tech deficient 12 year old can understand, he just won't get it.  I think it is generational/ego or maybe just high functioning slight autism.  He is very smart in his field, but once you get out of his field or he gets into 'this is the way I do/understand something' mentality, there is little convincing him otherwise.
 
2013-05-30 10:14:48 AM
Okay it is time to admit I have a problem,
I read this
all the lesser producers and PAs were moons  as all the lesser producers and PAs were Morons
and this
In fact, Bill had procured an EP title for himself, but he outranked the two other EPs on the show, both Stan as
Satan

So do I need new glasses or psychotrophic meds?
 
2013-05-30 10:19:29 AM

rufus-t-firefly: BarkingUnicorn: I  can't finish TFA.  It's like trying to follow the ramblings of a drunk.

I can't imagine how much booze & pills it would take to work with O'Reilly.


People like O'reilly don't have stress. They are, however, carriers of it and should be avoided at all costs.
 
2013-05-30 10:23:05 AM

Maud Dib: Anyone else watch the Daily Show the other night, with O'Reiily?
Seemed like some chunks were edited out. Dunno.


The whole interview probably went on for at least an hour.  Given how the two of them go back and forth, it's probably pretty hard to cut that down for 7-10 minutes of a 22-minute show and make it look seamless.
 
2013-05-30 10:29:21 AM

xxmedium: rufus-t-firefly: BarkingUnicorn: I  can't finish TFA.  It's like trying to follow the ramblings of a drunk.

I can't imagine how much booze & pills it would take to work with O'Reilly.

People like O'reilly don't have stress. They are, however, carriers of it and should be avoided at all costs.


Hey, he'll help you relax.

Well, if I took you down there then I'd want to take a shower with you right away, that would be the first thing I'd do... yeah, we'd check into the room, and we would order up some room service and uh and you'd definitely get two wines into you as quickly as I could get into you I would get 'em into you... maybe intravenously, get those glasses of wine into you...

You would basically be in the shower and then I would come in and I'd join you and you would have your back to me and I would take that little loofa thing and kinda soap up your back... rub it all over you, get you to relax, hot water... and um... you know, you'd feel the tension drain out of you and uh you still would be with your back to me then I would kinda put my arm -- it's one of those mitts, those loofa mitts you know, so I got my hands in it... and I would put it around front, kinda rub your tummy a little bit with it, and then with my other hand I would start to massage your boobs, get your nipples really hard... 'cuz I like that and you have really spectacular boobs...

So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I'd put it on your pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business....


I'm not a woman, but I imagine there's nothing sexier to a woman than somebody rubbing a loofah on her lady parts.


And what grown-ass man uses the word "boobs" when trying to arouse a woman?
 
2013-05-30 10:32:03 AM

wxboy: Maud Dib: Anyone else watch the Daily Show the other night, with O'Reiily?
Seemed like some chunks were edited out. Dunno.

The whole interview probably went on for at least an hour.  Given how the two of them go back and forth, it's probably pretty hard to cut that down for 7-10 minutes of a 22-minute show and make it look seamless.


They have a longer, unedited version on the web site.
 
2013-05-30 10:32:14 AM
I only read the article to see if there was a designated time of day for Bill to dildo himself while sexually harassing staffers.

I was sadly disappointed.
 
2013-05-30 10:32:22 AM
Excerpt reinforces impression that O'Reilly is egotistical temperamental unpleasant and difficult. Of particular interest is his devotion/sensitivity to Nielsen ratings and their influence on his story decisions. Bottom up management style described would result in bosses whose function was to say no to ideas rather than lead, which is oddly similar to the Republicans behavior in congress.
 
2013-05-30 10:43:44 AM
It was a unique, bottom-up management structure that had built-in checks and balances coming from the top down.

It's not that unique.  A lot of terrorist organizations use that management structure.
 
2013-05-30 10:44:03 AM

Car_Ramrod: Baby puppies? Aren't all puppies inherently babies?

/DRTFA


Baby puppies are the small fragile newborn puppies say from just born to about 8 weeks
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Well a puppy is still a puppy up until one to two years depending on the breed.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com


In human terms haven't you ever heard a four year old say "that's for babies" or a five to six year old talking about little kids.


/any excuse to post puppy pics
//and a kitten pic to boot.
///threes
 
2013-05-30 10:45:24 AM

rufus-t-firefly: Hey, he'll help you relax.

 
Typed Bill O'Reilly dirty talk is the language equivalent of the Winston Churchill in drag visual.


I do want a shower now, though. So thanks for that.

rufus-t-firefly: And what grown-ass man uses the word "boobs" when trying to arouse a woman?


The kind whose idea of passion culminates in a lights-out, four minute, missionary only session while still wearing black dress socks and sock garters?
 
2013-05-30 10:46:05 AM

IrateShadow: Where wolf: It rambles a bit, and the fact that it appears to be drawn from different excerpts doesn't help, but it is an interesting read.  It's an interesting look at Bill O, that's for sure.

I mean, the guy is smart enough to set up his own show, outline every detail of his message, but can't understand how networked printers work?  Amazing.

I've worked for people like that before.  How it works is unimportant as long as it works as needed when it's supposed to.


My mom and dad often referred to the 'fridge as the icebox, even though they only had iceboxes as kids. I don't think it's that big a deal. I still hear people talking about dialing and phones, even though most phones switched to buttons thirty years ago. I think the author is looking to make a bigger deal out of this than it really is (the sucking the life force out of babies and puppies should be a hint that he is not averse to using hyperbole for humor.)
 
2013-05-30 11:00:35 AM

spongeboob: Car_Ramrod: Baby puppies? Aren't all puppies inherently babies?

/DRTFA

Baby puppies are the small fragile newborn puppies say from just born to about 8 weeks
[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 269x188]

Well a puppy is still a puppy up until one to two years depending on the breed.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 200x250]


In human terms haven't you ever heard a four year old say "that's for babies" or a five to six year old talking about little kids.


/any excuse to post puppy pics
//and a kitten pic to boot.
///threes


Yea, but kids are stupid.
 
2013-05-30 11:02:51 AM

wxboy: The whole interview probably went on for at least an hour. Given how the two of them go back and forth, it's probably pretty hard to cut that down for 7-10 minutes of a 22-minute show and make it look seamless.


Yeah,you have to remember that Stewart and O'Reilly love each other. They feed each other rage viewers, make entire segments mocking each other, and there aren't many people in the industry smart enough to keep up with them when they really get going, so they play off each other really well.

/I don't like O'Reilly at all, but he is frustratingly smart.
 
2013-05-30 11:17:50 AM

Car_Ramrod: Yea, but kids are stupid


Tell me about have you ever tried to discuss politics with a six year old.  And don't even get me started on having a five year old help you move.
 
2013-05-30 11:18:31 AM

steverockson: Mrfusticle: Jackson Herring: also holy shiat if you can't follow that article

Are you saying he didn't meander? Cos he was meandering like the source of the Amazon in there.

/meander

It was an excerpt from a book and not an actual article, maybe that was the problem.


It is? I didn't see a book title mention - I want the whole book if this is the writing style.

And it confuses me that people couldn't follow that.
 
2013-05-30 11:28:39 AM
FTA:  "O'Reilly hates Sean [Hannity] and he hates Rush [Limbaugh] because they did better in radio than he did,"

one of the reasons could be that their core audiences can't work a cable box
 
2013-05-30 11:32:47 AM

spongeboob: Okay it is time to admit I have a problem,
I read this
all the lesser producers and PAs were moons  as all the lesser producers and PAs were Morons
and this
In fact, Bill had procured an EP title for himself, but he outranked the two other EPs on the show, both Stan as
Satan

So do I need new glasses or psychotrophic meds?


This occasionally happens to me too.
I wonder if there is a term for this phenomenon.

Visual mondegreen?
Eggcorn?
Ironic malapropism?

None of those seems to fit exactly.  Eggcorn is probably best, but mostly because the term is concise.
 
2013-05-30 11:49:04 AM

Lackofname: steverockson: Mrfusticle: Jackson Herring: also holy shiat if you can't follow that article

Are you saying he didn't meander? Cos he was meandering like the source of the Amazon in there.

/meander

It was an excerpt from a book and not an actual article, maybe that was the problem.

It is? I didn't see a book title mention - I want the whole book if this is the writing style.

And it confuses me that people couldn't follow that.


Yep

Excerpted from http://www.amazon.com/dp/0525953957/?tag=saloncom08-20">"An Atheist in the FOXhole: A Liberal's Eight-Year Odyssey Inside the Heart of the Right-Wing Media"
 
2013-05-30 11:55:32 AM
For someone as pugilistic as he, he's shockingly unable to roll with the punches.

That's not actually shocking at all.
 
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