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(Fark)   What useful advice have your elders given to you?   (fark.com) divider line 356
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1621 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 May 2013 at 3:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-29 08:09:59 PM
More leading by example type of stuff I think- work hard, be kind, tip well. I'm not sure the work hard stuff has been all that useful though.
 
2013-05-29 08:09:59 PM
When a man loves a woman
Down deep in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she plays him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Lovin' eyes can't ever see
 
2013-05-29 08:10:13 PM
Don't do anything you can't recover from.
 
2013-05-29 08:10:36 PM
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
 
2013-05-29 08:10:45 PM
Green? Really? Didn't expect that.
 
2013-05-29 08:10:51 PM
Wear good shoes and take care of your teeth.
 
2013-05-29 08:11:14 PM
oh goddamnit it's green...
 
2013-05-29 08:11:21 PM
Don't stick your dick in crazy.
 
2013-05-29 08:12:24 PM
Always keep a little sack in your car for garbage.
 
2013-05-29 08:12:33 PM
Measure twice, cut once.

It was dating advice.
 
2013-05-29 08:12:59 PM
Save money now so you can have fun later.
 
2013-05-29 08:13:14 PM
Don't trust whitey
 
2013-05-29 08:13:22 PM
Never trust a fart.
 
2013-05-29 08:13:23 PM
Also, never live in a basement. It will make your gums bleed. And don't sit on concrete, it will make you infertile.
 
2013-05-29 08:13:46 PM
Don't promise to post pics of your junk if a certain number of comments get posted in a TFark thread.
 
2013-05-29 08:13:52 PM
Following your dreams is the stupidest thing you can possibly do.
 
2013-05-29 08:14:01 PM
Never leave witnesses
 
2013-05-29 08:14:14 PM
Never forget who you are where you came from.
 
2013-05-29 08:14:33 PM
Don't forget to leave a note.
 
2013-05-29 08:14:53 PM
Don't reveal information about yourself on the internet.


/my grandparents were, like, really young
 
2013-05-29 08:15:03 PM
When you've lost all hope and lost all of your dreams.....
There's nothing like a campfire, and a can of beans.
 
2013-05-29 08:15:12 PM
Never, no, always check your references.
 
2013-05-29 08:15:29 PM
Don't sleep in your underwear
 
2013-05-29 08:15:35 PM
Buy BRK.A in the early 1980s.
 
2013-05-29 08:15:37 PM
Never get your honey where you get your money
If you realize you aren't going to win a fight, at least make sure they'll never want to fight you again
Don't offer help expecting a reward
Treat everyone with respect until they prove they don't deserve it
 
2013-05-29 08:15:45 PM
Don't go chasing waterfalls.
 
2013-05-29 08:15:55 PM

coco ebert: Also, never live in a basement. It will make your gums bleed. And don't sit on concrete, it will make you infertile.


I thought sitting on concrete will give you hemorrhoids.
 
2013-05-29 08:16:13 PM
Never, no, wait, always. Always spit and piss downwind
 
2013-05-29 08:16:21 PM
Well, a guy who had gotten an arm cut off in an industrial accident had a fairly persuasive argument that the whole idea of "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is a bunch of hooey.
 
2013-05-29 08:16:32 PM

msupf: Never get your honey where you get your money
If you realize you aren't going to win a fight, at least make sure they'll never want to fight you again
Don't offer help expecting a reward
Treat everyone with respect until they prove they don't deserve it


I like this. I like this a lot.
 
2013-05-29 08:16:49 PM
Always wash your hobo before grilling.
 
2013-05-29 08:16:52 PM
NEVER be the farker in the well
 
2013-05-29 08:17:05 PM
Never over stir muffin batter.
 
2013-05-29 08:17:18 PM
Don't talk to liters.
 
2013-05-29 08:17:45 PM
Folks will respect you more if you're willing to walk away
 
2013-05-29 08:18:09 PM

swaniefrmreddeer: Always wash your hobo before grilling.


Also always wash your hoohah before grilling.
 
2013-05-29 08:18:16 PM

rava: Folks will respect you more if you're willing to walk away


Or you'll be punched in the back of the head.
 
2013-05-29 08:18:50 PM

Doktor_Zhivago: When a man loves a woman
Down deep in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she plays him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Lovin' eyes can't ever see


I love that song but I don't like you. I'm So confused. :/

To me, from my dear, life-loving, long-dead grandmother:

1. It ain't a real until there's a ring on your finger.
2. If you got it, flaunt it.
3. Don't cluck at a chicken. (if you cluck you're a chicken which means you're judging a chicken while being a chicken yourself which is her weirdo way of saying 'the pot calling the kettle black'. Never heard it anywhere else).
4. Smile, even when you cry.

I could go on for days. The woman who raised my mother was an amazing woman. She was a 'gay couple' for Halloween with her best friend of 45 years about 15 years ago (1998, I think??) and got thrown out of the party for kissing her on the cheek. She gave everyone the middle finger when she left.

And that isn't even what makes her amazing. I just like that story. She loved everyone. EVERYONE. If she handed down anything, it is that.
 
2013-05-29 08:19:10 PM
Never skimp on your feet or your stomach, take care of your teeth, have a complete eye exam once a year. Be kind to animals and children. Learn to appreciate jazz.
 
2013-05-29 08:19:28 PM
The five second rule is bullshiat.
 
2013-05-29 08:19:44 PM
Always have antacids handy.
 
2013-05-29 08:19:55 PM
"you better not fark up"
 
2013-05-29 08:19:56 PM

Mazzic518: swaniefrmreddeer: Always wash your hobo before grilling.

Also always wash your hoohah before grilling.


Also always wash your hoohah before drilling.
 
2013-05-29 08:20:11 PM
Once you kill someone you can't take that back.
 
2013-05-29 08:20:15 PM
Never save another man's WIE.
 
2013-05-29 08:20:26 PM
Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one.
 
2013-05-29 08:20:51 PM
Don't shiat where you eat.
 
2013-05-29 08:21:16 PM
Don't shiat where you get your beans from.
Always follow through on promises made. Even if following through means owning up to not being able to really follow through.
Wrap it.
 
2013-05-29 08:21:21 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: rava: Folks will respect you more if you're willing to walk away

Or you'll be punched in the back of the head.


If you think someone is going to hit you hit them first
 
2013-05-29 08:21:25 PM

swaniefrmreddeer: Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one.


And they all stink.
 
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