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(San Luis Obispo Tribune)   Who needs guns when you have obesity?   (sanluisobispo.com) divider line 67
    More: Amusing, police officers, Dodge Caravan, obesity, guns, car alarms  
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9521 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2013 at 10:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-29 08:24:56 PM
What if we have both?
 
2013-05-29 09:03:27 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: What if we have both?


Easier targets?
 
2013-05-29 09:55:38 PM
If that burglar had fat, this would have never happened.
 
2013-05-29 10:28:11 PM
Your first line of defense is always your phone.
 
2013-05-29 10:33:34 PM
There is an obesity epidemic in America. We should not be lionizing fat people. We should be encouraging people to become thinner and healthier.
 
2013-05-29 10:33:37 PM
I thought of the face sitting fat guy in the orange jumpsuit in Idiocracy.  Need to see that movie again.
 
2013-05-29 10:34:09 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Your first line of defense is always your phone.


Nope.
 
2013-05-29 10:36:58 PM
Clearly we need to ban tactical assault fat.
 
2013-05-29 10:40:18 PM
When I was in Junior High and High School I had a friend who was fat.  I don't mean he was 20 lbs over weight.  I mean so fat the scale at the Doctor's office didn't go up that high.  He was four figures fat at his peak.  I once watched him walk up stairs and saw the step break under his fat ass.  His family was trailer trash at once point.  I watched him fall through the floor of the floor of his bedroom when he lived in that single wide trailer once.  He cried and begged for help.  I and my friend spent 30 minutes laughing before we could tell him that he was on his own (he was over 1,000 lbs, what the fark were we going to do?  Tie him to the back of a car and pull him out?).   We often made Jabba the Hutt jokes about him.

Good times...
 
2013-05-29 10:42:24 PM
When fat asses are outlawed, only outlaws will have fat asses.
 
2013-05-29 10:42:58 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Your first line of defense is always your phone.


Actually, when it comes to defense, your fists should be your first line.  I say this because your fists are always on the end of your arms.  Guns, knives, mace and cell phones are often placed in pockets or holsters.
 
2013-05-29 10:44:51 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: What if we have both?


www.bobafettfanclub.com
 
2013-05-29 10:48:28 PM

Mock26: WhoopAssWayne: Your first line of defense is always your phone.

Nope.


Cupcakes? A go with your sister?
 
2013-05-29 10:50:18 PM

Great Janitor: WhoopAssWayne: Your first line of defense is always your phone.

Actually, when it comes to defense, your fists should be your first line.  I say this because your fists are always on the end of your arms.  Guns, knives, mace and cell phones are often placed in pockets or holsters.


My fists are too small.

I prefer my elbows. Also they're pointy.
 
2013-05-29 10:53:17 PM
The first line of defense should be to run away.
 
2013-05-29 10:53:59 PM
What else can you do when your fingers are too pudgy to fit through the trigger guard?
 
2013-05-29 10:54:09 PM
blogs.riverfronttimes.com
 
2013-05-29 10:57:11 PM

Great Janitor: WhoopAssWayne: Your first line of defense is always your phone.

Actually, when it comes to defense, your fists should be your first line.  I say this because your fists are always on the end of your arms.  Guns, knives, mace and cell phones are often placed in pockets or holsters.




I guess you don't use your hands much in life. So, you have that going for you.
 
2013-05-29 10:58:04 PM
FARK; I am officially sick of this advertisement. Please cease and desist- It makes me ill.
cdn2sitescout.edgesuite.net
Thank you-

/PS: Dr Oz is a douchebag- don't encourage him
 
2013-05-29 10:58:18 PM
so the suspect found more "crack" than he could handle?
 
2013-05-29 10:58:36 PM
won't fat people just eat them before drawing a gun?
 
2013-05-29 11:02:58 PM

Bung_Howdy: FARK; I am officially sick of this advertisement. Please cease and desist- It makes me ill.
[cdn2sitescout.edgesuite.net image 300x250]
Thank you-

/PS: Dr Oz is a douchebag- don't encourage him


That's... that's the biggest vagina I've ever seen...
 
2013-05-29 11:05:00 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Mock26: WhoopAssWayne: Your first line of defense is always your phone.

Nope.

Cupcakes? A go with your sister?


It depends on the situation.  For example, if I am walking down the street and some punk pulls out a knife and demands my wallet, my first line of defense is not going to be my phone.  It is going to be a weapon of my own.
 
2013-05-29 11:05:58 PM

WhippingBoy: Bung_Howdy: FARK; I am officially sick of this advertisement. Please cease and desist- It makes me ill.
[cdn2sitescout.edgesuite.net image 300x250]
Thank you-

/PS: Dr Oz is a douchebag- don't encourage him

That's... that's the biggest vagina I've ever seen...


less of a vagina and more of a front facing butt crack IMHO
 
2013-05-29 11:06:52 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: There is an obesity epidemic in America. We should not be lionizing fat people. We should be encouraging people to become thinner and healthier.


Ripping on the fat, stupid guy worked in Full Metal Jacket. He was a great marine after that!

/why yes I've only seen the first 40 minutes. Why do you ask?
//seen both movies in fmj
 
2013-05-29 11:07:25 PM

whatshisname: What else can you do when your fingers are too pudgy to fit through the trigger guard?


It's your gun. In that case, why would you have a trigger guard that is too small?
Or... why are you loading bullets in your expensive club?
 
2013-05-29 11:11:10 PM
Luckily we have both in spades.
 
2013-05-29 11:19:50 PM
I fell in love with a gal from San Luis Obispo... [mad libs] must use verb crushed
 
2013-05-29 11:21:29 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: There is an obesity epidemic in America. We should not be lionizing fat people. We should be encouraging people to become thinner and healthier.


This is well understood in places like NYC, hence things like their unjustly reviled anti-soda campaign. The correlation between obesity, health problems, and rogue vigilantism is irrefutable.
 
2013-05-29 11:22:40 PM
Of course he sat on the suspect, he needed to rest after racing next door to his neighbor's house.
 
2013-05-29 11:24:08 PM

"Yeaaaa, boy, did I get a piece of ass last night! Almost more than I could handle."


media.sanluisobispo.com

 
2013-05-29 11:25:03 PM

redmid17: AverageAmericanGuy: There is an obesity epidemic in America. We should not be lionizing fat people. We should be encouraging people to become thinner and healthier.

Ripping on the fat, stupid guy worked in Full Metal Jacket. He was a great marine after that!

/why yes I've only seen the first 40 minutes. Why do you ask?
//seen both movies in fmj


TBH the first 40 mins were the only worthwhile to put in a soundboard
 
Rat
2013-05-29 11:25:52 PM
But if I'm just pudgy, I get to still use my gun, right?

© right?
 
2013-05-29 11:26:39 PM
Grease is the word... even the way we are feeling today.
Grease is indeed the word
 
2013-05-29 11:30:51 PM
Sure is ITG in here. I'd better fark off before I get beat down.
 
2013-05-29 11:37:05 PM

Mock26: WhoopAssWayne: Mock26: WhoopAssWayne: Your first line of defense is always your phone.

Nope.

Cupcakes? A go with your sister?

It depends on the situation.  For example, if I am walking down the street and some punk pulls out a knife and demands my wallet, my first line of defense is not going to be my phone.  It is going to be a weapon of my own.


No, first you'll piss in your pants. Then, after gratefully handing over your wallet, you'll give out your sister's number.
 
2013-05-29 11:38:00 PM
You can have my arms when you can rip them from my cold fat arms..........wait, what?
 
2013-05-29 11:40:03 PM
FTA: "The called also ran outside to warn the van's owners."

This term, "the called," is unfamiliar to me,
 
2013-05-29 11:43:27 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Mock26: WhoopAssWayne: Mock26: WhoopAssWayne: Your first line of defense is always your phone.

Nope.

Cupcakes? A go with your sister?

It depends on the situation.  For example, if I am walking down the street and some punk pulls out a knife and demands my wallet, my first line of defense is not going to be my phone.  It is going to be a weapon of my own.

No, first you'll piss in your pants. Then, after gratefully handing over your wallet, you'll give out your sister's number.


Is that what you did?
 
2013-05-29 11:46:30 PM
Great, now Obama is gonna take our fat away; thanks a lot Obama
 
2013-05-29 11:47:47 PM

js34603: No, first you'll piss in your pants. Then, after gratefully handing over your wallet, you'll give out your sister's number.

Is that what you did?


Why he had your sister's number, I'll never know.
 
2013-05-29 11:49:59 PM

Mock26: WhoopAssWayne: Mock26: WhoopAssWayne: Your first line of defense is always your phone.

Nope.

Cupcakes? A go with your sister?

It depends on the situation.  For example, if I am walking down the street and some punk pulls out a knife and demands my wallet, my first line of defense is not going to be my phone.  It is going to be a weapon of my own.


bwahahaha! sure thing, pussy.
 
2013-05-30 12:06:16 AM
media.sanluisobispo.com

Dear sir.

We have plenty of stupid criminals.

If you're not from here, please go home.

- People with jobs.
 
2013-05-30 12:11:06 AM
 
2013-05-30 12:15:51 AM
 
2013-05-30 12:24:28 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Yeah well. This kind of work isn't as easy as it used to be. Meme photos just don't GIS themselves. TAKE BACK ONE KADAM!
 
2013-05-30 12:30:30 AM

js34603: No, first you'll piss in your pants. Then, after gratefully handing over your wallet, you'll give out your sister's number.

Is that what you did?


No. First I pissed on your sister, then took I her wallet.
 
2013-05-30 12:31:29 AM
i1199.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-30 12:33:08 AM
Proofread will I time next.
 
2013-05-30 12:50:36 AM
Ranchers.
 
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