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(The Sun)   The end result of having too many pet snakes in your house is they attempt to eat you when you're dead   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 56
    More: Sad, missing man, snakes, cops  
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9805 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2013 at 6:27 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-29 06:13:07 PM
...except that the article specifically says that they didn't try to eat him.
 
2013-05-29 06:29:58 PM

Radak: ...except that the article specifically says that they didn't try to eat him.


But the headline specifically said the snakes attempt to eat. Not when or what they eat.
 
2013-05-29 06:31:25 PM
The end result of having too many pet snakes cats in your house is they attempt to eat when you're dead. FTFY.

Too many = greater than zero.
 
2013-05-29 06:32:35 PM
"a 30ft anaconda and four 35ft pythons"

Bullshiat.
 
2013-05-29 06:32:43 PM
How dare they not lose the will to live and cease trying to eat just because you're gone.
 
2013-05-29 06:33:28 PM
Don't they attempt to eat when you're alive too?

Does your vital status really matter at all to snakes?
 
2013-05-29 06:34:51 PM
 
2013-05-29 06:35:36 PM
I thought anacondas were endangered and not allowed to as pets?
 
2013-05-29 06:38:10 PM

NobleHam: How dare they not lose the will to live and cease trying to eat just because you're gone.


Pets need to realize that they should restrain their eating.  By only munching a burrow into your carcass, you both nourish them and hug them while they sleep.
 
2013-05-29 06:38:23 PM
They don't want none unless you got buns, hon
 
2013-05-29 06:38:41 PM

BarkingUnicorn: "a 30ft anaconda and four 35ft pythons"

Bullshiat.


Came here to say this. If dude had a 30ft anaconda in his house it's the probably the longest verified anaconda so far.
 
2013-05-29 06:38:54 PM
"And two, they like to eat their prey whole and the average European adult is just too long and wide for that."
That was handled pretty well.  I'm not saying that the guy was morbidly obese but the intestinal spaces of an anaconda would have been less than commodious.
 
2013-05-29 06:39:40 PM
The end result of having too many pet snakes in your house is they attempt to eat when you're dead


From the alternate universe where Bridget Jones' Diary was set in Germany.
 
2013-05-29 06:40:34 PM

Ishkur: Don't they attempt to eat when you're alive too?

Does your vital status really matter at all to snakes?


Yes they usually eat live animals, something about carrion being bacteria ridden

/but they will eat dead things sometimes if they're hungry enough
//snakes aren't so dumb as to not know what they're eating, they'll just sometimes eat anything if the circumstances require
 
2013-05-29 06:40:55 PM
Well, with today's high cost of burial and/or cremation, this might be the prudent way to handle the situation.
 
2013-05-29 06:41:00 PM
upload.wikimedia.org 

Netflix, go watch it...very entertaining and hilarious how stupid people can be.
 
2013-05-29 06:41:16 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-29 06:42:06 PM

No Time To Explain: I thought anacondas were endangered and not allowed to as pets?


There are four species, none listed as endangered.
 
2013-05-29 06:43:26 PM
Interesting that he owned 4 pythons longer than the largest ever recorded.

The Sun is there. With a helmet on.
 
2013-05-29 06:44:24 PM
why did it have to be snakes?
 
2013-05-29 06:45:34 PM
The Sun uses cop math.
 
2013-05-29 06:51:40 PM
Used 2x today...

i149.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-29 06:58:05 PM

BarkingUnicorn: "a 30ft anaconda and four 35ft pythons"

Bullshiat.


Germany uses the metric system, so they were 30m and 35m.
Probably just a typo.
 
2013-05-29 07:01:28 PM
If it was 40 cats they would have just found bones.
 
2013-05-29 07:16:43 PM

uncleacid: If it was 40 cats

1 pit bull they would have just found bones.

FTFY
 
2013-05-29 07:18:08 PM
gapyx.com
Yeah, but the Ark really ties the room together.
 
2013-05-29 07:24:53 PM
On the case.....
 
2013-05-29 07:26:59 PM
Damn preview.....

Try it again - on the case....
 
2013-05-29 07:27:55 PM
It's the Circle of Life!

Silly herbivores. Why are they celebrating the birth of the top predator who is going to eat them? But I digress. Cats is cats and snakes is snakes, and never the twain shall meet, except in combat, of course.

You know what else will eat you if you die and forget to feed them for a few weeks?

Dogs, cats, hogs, rats, lions, tigers, bears ... and especially killer rabbits.
 
2013-05-29 07:29:04 PM
This is one damn long way to go for a visual...

content8.flixster.com
 
2013-05-29 07:39:58 PM
I'll just leave this here.

s8.postimg.org
 
2013-05-29 07:46:38 PM

berylman: "And two, they like to eat their prey whole and the average European adult is just too long and wide for that."
That was handled pretty well.  I'm not saying that the guy was morbidly obese but the intestinal spaces of an anaconda would have been less than commodious.


He was European and not American. Then again Germans are not renowned for being pettite either.

"He would find the intestinal spaces of a whale less than commodious" would make a great insult though.
 
2013-05-29 07:47:09 PM

SurelyShirley: BarkingUnicorn: "a 30ft anaconda and four 35ft pythons"

Bullshiat.

Germany uses the metric system, so they were 30m and 35m.
Probably just a typo.


30m and 35m would make the pythons even longer approximately 90-100 ft.
It is more likely that the writer does not have any facts.  And just trying to get an emotional reaction from people that have a hysterical fear of snakes.

CSB, my dog's previous owner died, and she was locked in without food for 10 days, so she started eating him.   I like that she has the will to survive.  Any dog that wouldn't eat a dead owner, and instead starved to death, just isn't a dog I would want.
 
2013-05-29 07:49:41 PM
www.entertainmentopia.com
 
2013-05-29 07:51:13 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-29 08:01:58 PM
My anaconda don't want none unless you got Hamburger buns, hon
 
2013-05-29 08:04:22 PM

BarkingUnicorn: "a 30ft anaconda and four 35ft pythons"

Bullshiat.


Street-length according to cop math.
 
2013-05-29 08:06:03 PM
You can buy yellow as well as green anacondas. Yellow anacondas are smaller, but still fierce. Green anacondas are the ones you see on nature shows, and they're very aggressive. He also had a big reticulated python, a burmese. All the snakes in that top picture could kill a man.

And generally if you're constricted by a snake, you're going to die of a heart attack. Considering the reporters' grip on the facts of this story, I wouldn't be surprised if one of the snakes killed the guy after all.
 
2013-05-29 08:17:53 PM
So, how long is a snake as thick as a human thigh?
 
2013-05-29 08:34:32 PM
My own internal bacteria will start eating me when I'm dead.

I don't care if the pets get some too.....
 
2013-05-29 08:35:21 PM

Lorelle: uncleacid: If it was 40 cats 1 pit bull they would have just found bones

found the dog whimpering and waiting for help to arrive.

FTFY
 
2013-05-29 08:50:16 PM

BarkingUnicorn: "a 30ft anaconda and four 35ft pythons"

Bullshiat.


Yeah, that's some pure, Grade A bullshiat right there.  But then, I expect nothing less from The Sun
 
2013-05-29 09:13:59 PM
This never would have happened in America.  Because the deceased and his pets live(d) in Germany.
 
2013-05-29 09:23:07 PM

AmbassadorBooze: SurelyShirley: BarkingUnicorn: "a 30ft anaconda and four 35ft pythons"

Bullshiat.

Germany uses the metric system, so they were 30m and 35m.
Probably just a typo.

30m and 35m would make the pythons even longer approximately 90-100 ft.
It is more likely that the writer does not have any facts.  And just trying to get an emotional reaction from people that have a hysterical fear of snakes.

CSB, my dog's previous owner died, and she was locked in without food for 10 days, so she started eating him.   I like that she has the will to survive.  Any dog that wouldn't eat a dead owner, and instead starved to death, just isn't a dog I would want.


Not so C story time:  A friend of mine's dad died. He had multiple cats. All of them except one found a way out of the house before his body was finally found several days later. That one cat? It stuck around to munch on him. She road tripped it home from half way across the country. One of the meanest cats I've ever met. Had the nastiest breath of any cat ever too. They always said it was because of its rotting teeth, but I always said it was "death breath". I used to also joke about how once it had tasted human flesh you could never trust it.
 
2013-05-29 09:39:12 PM

BarkingUnicorn: "a 30ft anaconda and four 35ft pythons"

Bullshiat.


Came here to say this.
 
2013-05-29 09:45:59 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-29 09:57:28 PM
brantgoose


You know what else will eat you if you die and forget to feed them for a few weeks?

Humans?
 
2013-05-29 10:00:36 PM

Mog32Kupo:  

Netflix, go watch it...very entertaining and hilarious how stupid people can be.


I was just thinking about how good this episode will be! I love this show...although I sometimes feel bad for the dead owners (and for the ones that live who misses the "pet").
 
2013-05-29 10:24:02 PM
I...I shouldn't kind of be turned-on, right?

Because I'm not.

I'm NOT.
 
2013-05-29 10:24:44 PM

megarian: I...I shouldn't kind of be turned-on, right?

Because I'm not.

I'm NOT.


And the split infinitives make it sexier b
 
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