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(Kansas City)   Royals lose 10th straight home game, have hit just 2 HR since May 15, and their latest manager is melting down like those before him. "What are you asking me to do? Take my belt off and spank them? Yell at them? Scream at them? What do you want?"   (kansascity.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, home games, Ervin Santana, Kauffman Stadium, Edward Mujica, James Shields, Ned Yost, Yadier Molina, David Freese  
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640 clicks; posted to Sports » on 29 May 2013 at 1:19 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-29 12:33:35 PM  
They lolligag in and out of the dugout

They lolligag around the bases

They lolligag the ball around the infield

Do you know what that makes them?

/larry
 
2013-05-29 12:40:36 PM  

Crewmannumber6: They lolligag in and out of the dugout

They lolligag around the bases

They lolligag the ball around the infield


images2.wikia.nocookie.net

Available for hire.
 
2013-05-29 01:04:28 PM  
"What are you asking me to do? Take my belt off and spank them?"

In fairness, that would be more entertaining than the typical Royals game.
 
2013-05-29 01:10:16 PM  
At least they're not the Marlins!
 
2013-05-29 01:15:09 PM  

Crewmannumber6: /larry


Lolligaggers, coach!
 
2013-05-29 01:26:10 PM  
I think there's a support group already in place specifically for those who added Eric Hosmer to their keeper league at the beginning of last season.
 
2013-05-29 01:27:19 PM  
Who would've thought that playing Jeff Francouer every day might not work?

Well, good thing they've got one of the best RF prospects in the game waiting in the wings.

Oh, wait. Oh.
 
2013-05-29 01:32:24 PM  

usernameguy: "What are you asking me to do? Take my belt off and spank them?"

In fairness, that would be more entertaining than the typical Royals game.


I was going to say, they could just sell tickets to the public spankings.

//and then, the oral sex.
 
2013-05-29 01:33:59 PM  

usernameguy: "What are you asking me to do? Take my belt off and spank them?"

In fairness, that would be more entertaining than the typical Royals game.


Fark is not your personal erotica site.
 
2013-05-29 01:36:14 PM  
i4.ytimg.com
 
2013-05-29 01:47:55 PM  

DeWayne Mann: Who would've thought that playing Jeff Francouer every day might not work?

Well, good thing they've got one of the best RF prospects in the game waiting in the wings.

Oh, wait. Oh.


Sure Wil Myers may have had the plate discipline & power to be immediately slotted in and produce at an above-average level, but you can't really expect him to duplicate Francoeur's flashy smile or fan-beer-buying habits and you can't really put a price on that.

Or rather, Dayton Moore can't, and that's why he'll be fired by September.
 
2013-05-29 01:51:45 PM  

studleystudstutterson: DeWayne Mann: Who would've thought that playing Jeff Francouer every day might not work?

Well, good thing they've got one of the best RF prospects in the game waiting in the wings.

Oh, wait. Oh.

Sure Wil Myers may have had the plate discipline & power to be immediately slotted in and produce at an above-average level, but you can't really expect him to duplicate Francoeur's flashy smile or fan-beer-buying habits and you can't really put a price on that.

Or rather, Dayton Moore can't, and that's why he'll be fired by September.


Plus, I suspect that Jeff Francoeur gets to fly on Delta flights for free with a guest. You don't want to get rid of that.
 
2013-05-29 01:51:45 PM  

Crewmannumber6: They lolligag in and out of the dugout

They lolligag around the bases

They lolligag the ball around the infield

Do you know what that makes them?

/larry


i1.ytimg.com

/couldn't find a pic of the coach actually throwing the bats
 
2013-05-29 01:56:20 PM  
The only reason I have kept paying for cable during the summer was Royals games.
The good news about all of this is that I can now save $100/month.
 
2013-05-29 02:04:28 PM  
So what you're really saying is that with this, the Twins pitching staff, the White Sox everything other than Sale, and the Indians always imminent regression/implosion, my 'over' pick on the O/U for the Tigers winning the division by 10 games is safe?
 
2013-05-29 02:10:02 PM  

MichiganFTL: So what you're really saying is that with this, the Twins pitching staff, the White Sox everything other than Sale, and the Indians always imminent regression/implosion, my 'over' pick on the O/U for the Tigers winning the division by 10 games is safe?


Fangraphs uses various projection systems to predict the rest of the season. As of right now, here's what they're got:

Tigers: 94-68
Indians: 81-81
White Sox: 80-82
Royals: 75-87
Twins: 68-94

So, probably.
 
2013-05-29 02:12:31 PM  
"What are you asking me to do? Take my belt off and spank them? Yell at them? Scream at them? What do you want?"

I read that in his voice:

blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com
 
2013-05-29 02:18:03 PM  

DeWayne Mann: MichiganFTL: So what you're really saying is that with this, the Twins pitching staff, the White Sox everything other than Sale, and the Indians always imminent regression/implosion, my 'over' pick on the O/U for the Tigers winning the division by 10 games is safe?

Fangraphs uses various projection systems to predict the rest of the season. As of right now, here's what they're got:

Tigers: 94-68
Indians: 81-81
White Sox: 80-82
Royals: 75-87
Twins: 68-94

So, probably.


i0.kym-cdn.com

Indians at 81-81. Those guys at fangraphs are funny. They'll be lucky to be 5 games under .500 by Mid-June. 

Indians (27-24) record vs. Toronto, Chicago, Houston, Seattle, Kansas City, Minnesota, Philadelphia, Oakland: 22-8
Indians vs. Detroit, NYY, Tampa Bay, Boston, Cincinnati: 5-16

Now, with the exception of maybe Oakland, they are ok at beating up on the .400 teams, but when they find a team with a legitimate possibility of the playoffs, they show how horrible they really are. They're a 70-75 win team maybe.

/Royals are the only team in the Central who will make any noise in the next 5 years.
 
2013-05-29 02:45:28 PM  

MichiganFTL: Indians (27-24) record vs. Toronto, Chicago, Houston, Seattle, Kansas City, Minnesota, Philadelphia, Oakland: 22-8
Indians vs. Detroit, NYY, Tampa Bay, Boston, Cincinnati: 5-16

Now, with the exception of maybe Oakland, they are ok at beating up on the .400 teams, but when they find a team with a legitimate possibility of the playoffs, they show how horrible they really are. They're a 70-75 win team maybe.


Ok, some quick math. They've gone 22-8 against bad teams; let's round that to a 75% winning percentage just to save time.

Three of the teams named are in their division. That's ~60 games. Houston & Seattle are in the AL West, so that's ~15. Toronto is in the AL East, so that's another 6. Grand total for just those 6 teams: 81 games. Hey, what a coincidence.

So, for half the season, they'll have a 75% winning percentage: That's between 60 & 61 wins; we'll call it 60 since the 75% was a bit too high to begin with.

You think against every other team (including Oakland, who I ignored before, and all the interleague, etc, etc) they're going to win between 10 & 15 games out of 81?  I mean, they already have 5 wins, as you say, plus the 4 from Oakland, 3 from Philly, etc. Seems like they're already done.

Or are they just going to stop beating bad teams for some reason?
 
2013-05-29 03:18:29 PM  
Miguel Cabrera has a .652 SLG

There are four Royals regulars who do not even have a .652 OPS, and Hosmer (.658 OPS), is close to making it five
 
2013-05-29 03:26:17 PM  
"I know what the fans want. They want it, and they want it now.  Instant gratification just doesn't work in baseball."

Ned Yost, May 18, 2013, to the Royals fanbase who have waited for 28 years for a return to postseason play and have witnessed one season (2003) over .500 since 1995.
 
2013-05-29 03:30:34 PM  

Rex_Banner: Miguel Cabrera has a .652 SLG

There are four Royals regulars who do not even have a .652 OPS, and Hosmer (.658 OPS), is close to making it five


So I went to go check who these 4 amazing players are, but I accidentally ended up on the 2012 page. In 2012, they had 4 starters with an OPS under .675. Those 4 starters? Hosmer, Getz, Jarrod Dyson & Jeff Francouer

So then I noticed my mistake and went to the 2013 page. And then's when I saw that 2 of the 4 are Francouer and Getz (and, as you say, Hosmer is close).

In conclusion, good job Jarrod Dyson.
 
2013-05-29 03:31:30 PM  

theurge14: "I know what the fans want. They want it, and they want it now.  Instant gratification just doesn't work in baseball."

Ned Yost, May 18, 2013, to the Royals fanbase who have waited for 28 years for a return to postseason play and have witnessed one season (2003) over .500 since 1995.


Equally amusing is that the entire point of the Myers/Shields trade was instant gratification.
 
2013-05-29 03:32:59 PM  
 
2013-05-29 03:40:54 PM  
Money isn't everything, but the KC payroll is under $80 million this year (per ESPN).  2/3 of MLB has a higher payroll
 
2013-05-29 03:42:20 PM  

Killer Cars: I think there's a support group already in place specifically for those who added Eric Hosmer to their keeper league at the beginning of last season.


Ill be needing that contact info....
 
2013-05-29 03:42:24 PM  

meanmutton: Money isn't everything, but the KC payroll is under $80 million this year (per ESPN).  2/3 of MLB has a higher payroll


I agree Glass needs to spend more to compete, but you could give the clowns running the Royals the payroll of New York and they would still mismanage the team right back into the AL Central basement.  It's more than just payroll issues.
 
2013-05-29 03:44:18 PM  
Know what happens when I pick up a pitcher to stream against the Royals in fantasy baseball? The Royals' offense awakens for a day and makes me feel like a schmuck.

/farking Moustakas and Butler have farked me over from the offensive side of things
//dropped Moustakas long ago, and Butler's crazy 5/5 day needs to happen more often
 
2013-05-29 03:44:35 PM  

meanmutton: Money isn't everything, but the KC payroll is under $80 million this year (per ESPN).  2/3 of MLB has a higher payroll


...ok? Not sure what point you're trying to make.
 
2013-05-29 03:46:15 PM  

mehcky: Killer Cars: I think there's a support group already in place specifically for those who added Eric Hosmer to their keeper league at the beginning of last season.

Ill be needing that contact info....


Is there a support group for people who have Billy Butler as a keeper?
 
2013-05-29 03:48:20 PM  

DeWayne Mann: meanmutton: Money isn't everything, but the KC payroll is under $80 million this year (per ESPN).  2/3 of MLB has a higher payroll

...ok? Not sure what point you're trying to make.


If you're not spending money, you're not going to field a competitive team.
 
2013-05-29 03:55:44 PM  

meanmutton: DeWayne Mann: meanmutton: Money isn't everything, but the KC payroll is under $80 million this year (per ESPN).  2/3 of MLB has a higher payroll

...ok? Not sure what point you're trying to make.

If you're not spending money, you're not going to field a competitive team.


Except for all those teams that were cheap and successful, ok.

You know, the teams that the Royals were attempting to emulate?

In fact, give me a few minutes, but I think if I were to construct a dream roster of current players, it would probably have one of the smaller payrolls in the game. So I'm going to do that and find out.
 
2013-05-29 03:56:24 PM  

DeWayne Mann: MichiganFTL: Indians (27-24) record vs. Toronto, Chicago, Houston, Seattle, Kansas City, Minnesota, Philadelphia, Oakland: 22-8
Indians vs. Detroit, NYY, Tampa Bay, Boston, Cincinnati: 5-16

Now, with the exception of maybe Oakland, they are ok at beating up on the .400 teams, but when they find a team with a legitimate possibility of the playoffs, they show how horrible they really are. They're a 70-75 win team maybe.

Ok, some quick math. They've gone 22-8 against bad teams; let's round that to a 75% winning percentage just to save time.

Three of the teams named are in their division. That's ~60 games. Houston & Seattle are in the AL West, so that's ~15. Toronto is in the AL East, so that's another 6. Grand total for just those 6 teams: 81 games. Hey, what a coincidence.

So, for half the season, they'll have a 75% winning percentage: That's between 60 & 61 wins; we'll call it 60 since the 75% was a bit too high to begin with.

You think against every other team (including Oakland, who I ignored before, and all the interleague, etc, etc) they're going to win between 10 & 15 games out of 81?  I mean, they already have 5 wins, as you say, plus the 4 from Oakland, 3 from Philly, etc. Seems like they're already done.

Or are they just going to stop beating bad teams for some reason?


They're going to stop beating some bad teams for the reason that they're a team that has an ace and 4 SP who will have a 4.5-5.0 ERA (Jiminez, McCallister, Kazmir, Kluber - - Although I can see Kazmir proving me wrong). The closer is on the DL right now and may be traded in July, leaving them with Pestano in the bullpen, I don't see Smith holding it down the whole year. They're solid up the middle at C, 2B/SS and CF (although Bourn won't be what he was in ATL), but the corners are strikeout machines (Reynolds, Stubbs, Swisher) and HOPEFULLY hit .250-.275.

They'll go .250 against the good teams, .600 against the bad (MIN/HOU/SEA/CHI) and have a normal second half swoon to drop to ~72-90.
 
2013-05-29 04:05:57 PM  
But... but they told us spending $250million to renovate the K and hosting the All Star game was all we needed to become contenders.
 
2013-05-29 04:06:15 PM  

meanmutton: Money isn't everything, but the KC payroll is under $80 million this year (per ESPN).  2/3 of MLB has a higher payroll


The A's have a payroll of approximately $60 million, 25% less than the comparitively rich Royals, and swept their asses out of town last weekend. They're also 2.5 games back of the AL-leading Texas Rangers.

But wait, it gets better. Of the 8 teams with estimated payrolls lower than the Royals, 6 (Oakland, Cleveland, Colorado, Pittsburgh, San Diego, and Tampa Bay) have better records than KC. The only teams doing worse than KC in that group are Houston and Miami, whose combined payrolls are not as much as the Royals.

Your statement is silly, and Dayton Moore is apparently a moron.
 
2013-05-29 04:08:33 PM  

DeWayne Mann: meanmutton: DeWayne Mann: meanmutton: Money isn't everything, but the KC payroll is under $80 million this year (per ESPN).  2/3 of MLB has a higher payroll

...ok? Not sure what point you're trying to make.

If you're not spending money, you're not going to field a competitive team.

Except for all those teams that were cheap and successful, ok.

You know, the teams that the Royals were attempting to emulate?

In fact, give me a few minutes, but I think if I were to construct a dream roster of current players, it would probably have one of the smaller payrolls in the game. So I'm going to do that and find out.


I'm assuming you'll have Miguel Cabrerra, Joey Votto, and Dustin Pedroia on it?  That's $40 million right there.  Felix Hernandez, Justin Verlander, Cliff Lee?  That's over $60 million for those three.
 
2013-05-29 04:10:08 PM  

Cagey B: meanmutton: Money isn't everything, but the KC payroll is under $80 million this year (per ESPN).  2/3 of MLB has a higher payroll

The A's have a payroll of approximately $60 million, 25% less than the comparitively rich Royals, and swept their asses out of town last weekend. They're also 2.5 games back of the AL-leading Texas Rangers.

But wait, it gets better. Of the 8 teams with estimated payrolls lower than the Royals, 6 (Oakland, Cleveland, Colorado, Pittsburgh, San Diego, and Tampa Bay) have better records than KC. The only teams doing worse than KC in that group are Houston and Miami, whose combined payrolls are not as much as the Royals.

Your statement is silly, and Dayton Moore is apparently a moron.


The A's are a poor example; they got some serious dumb luck out out of Trout.
 
2013-05-29 04:12:18 PM  

meanmutton: The A's are a poor example; they got some serious dumb luck out out of Trout.


Please, tell me more about this particular example.
 
2013-05-29 04:16:04 PM  

meanmutton: I'm assuming you'll have Miguel Cabrerra, Joey Votto, and Dustin Pedroia on it? That's $40 million right there. Felix Hernandez, Justin Verlander, Cliff Lee? That's over $60 million for those three.


I'm working on it now, but definitely not Pedroia; I've got him as 3rd best 2B. No Cabrera at the moment (I have him behind Longoria at 3B, but I'm trying to decide on what to do with the DH). No Lee, but I haven't decided on a 5th SP yet. Leaning towards Yu ahead of Lee, though.

My other difficulty is the bench. Obviously, if I fill the bench with starters, that'll make the best team....but it doesn't really make any sense. So I think I'm going to choose from actual bench players.

meanmutton: The A's are a poor example; they got some serious dumb luck out out of Trout.


Uh huh.
 
2013-05-29 04:32:54 PM  

DeWayne Mann: Uh huh.


It does raise the question of what the heck went wrong with all those Royals super prospects.  Obviously baseball has a heck of an attrition rate as guys move up levels but the Royals seem particularly snakebitten in addition to all the bad vets they sign.
 
2013-05-29 04:36:11 PM  

you have pee hands: DeWayne Mann: Uh huh.

It does raise the question of what the heck went wrong with all those Royals super prospects.  Obviously baseball has a heck of an attrition rate as guys move up levels but the Royals seem particularly snakebitten in addition to all the bad vets they sign.


Well, clearly, they failed to steal amazing players from other teams, since that's apparently what the A's did.

But in a slightly more serious answer, I might point to plate discipline.
 
2013-05-29 04:45:28 PM  
*Greg Holland tosses a few tosses in the bullpen and then goes and sits down*

Even the Astros closer has had more work.
 
2013-05-29 04:46:08 PM  
Ok, here's a rough draft of what I've got at the moment. I cheated a bit at SS, but I really don't think there's an obvious best SS in the game right now.

C: Posey
1B: Votto
2B: Zobrist
3B: Longoria
SS: Machado
LF: Trout
CF: McCutchen
RF: Harper

SP: Kershaw
SP: Verlander
SP: Felix
SP: Strasburg
SP: Yu

That's a bit under 110mil, slightly less than Cincy @ 13th biggest. So it sort of depends on what I do with DH, bench and bullpen. It's a BIT higher than I had guessed, mostly because I thought Votto's big contract kicked in next year; he, Verlander & Felix are the only players on the team making more than 11mil this year.
 
2013-05-29 04:51:23 PM  

DeWayne Mann: Ok, here's a rough draft of what I've got at the moment. I cheated a bit at SS, but I really don't think there's an obvious best SS in the game right now.


Is Yu Darvish's posting fee factored in?
 
2013-05-29 04:53:04 PM  
All I got
i461.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-29 04:53:36 PM  

Cagey B: DeWayne Mann: Ok, here's a rough draft of what I've got at the moment. I cheated a bit at SS, but I really don't think there's an obvious best SS in the game right now.

Is Yu Darvish's posting fee factored in?


It wouldn't affect this year's payroll, which is what the discussion is on, so no.

Similarly, no signing bonuses, performance bonuses, etc.
 
2013-05-29 05:07:37 PM  
By the way, one of the two Royals hitting coaches just said that he's not concerned that the team will probably be last in the league in HRs, because there's "no reward" for trying to hit HRs in Kaufman stadium.
 
2013-05-29 05:15:14 PM  

DeWayne Mann: Cagey B: DeWayne Mann: Ok, here's a rough draft of what I've got at the moment. I cheated a bit at SS, but I really don't think there's an obvious best SS in the game right now.

Is Yu Darvish's posting fee factored in?

It wouldn't affect this year's payroll, which is what the discussion is on, so no.

Similarly, no signing bonuses, performance bonuses, etc.


Normally I'd be all like "well, I don't want to get all pedantic, so I'll not post", but this is a baseball thread, so what the hell.

If the argument is that performance doesn't necessarily correlate to salary (an argument that I agree with, btw), then to have an honest view of what a player's compensation is, it would make sense to view their yearly salary in the full context of what it took to get that player.

In Yu's case, since unlike most MLB players the Rangers had to front a significant chunk of cash in order to sign him in the first place to a relatively team-friendly deal, it would seem that you'd have to find some way to account for that. If the scenario here is "lower-third payroll MLB club using its resources effectively", it's not like a club like the Indians or the Rays could just pick up Yu for a year at his current salary; there's a lot of upfront costs that keep big-ticket Japanese imports from "small-market" teams.

This is all just nitpicking though. The real answer is to abduct a player's best teams by throwing a sack over their heads and driving them to your clubhouse a la Borat. Mike Trout sure added a lot to the A's lineup once he stopped crying and constantly asking where mommy and daddy were.
 
2013-05-29 05:25:08 PM  

Cagey B: If the argument is that performance doesn't necessarily correlate to salary (an argument that I agree with, btw), then to have an honest view of what a player's compensation is, it would make sense to view their yearly salary in the full context of what it took to get that player.

In Yu's case, since unlike most MLB players the Rangers had to front a significant chunk of cash in order to sign him in the first place to a relatively team-friendly deal, it would seem that you'd have to find some way to account for that. If the scenario here is "lower-third payroll MLB club using its resources effectively", it's not like a club like the Indians or the Rays could just pick up Yu for a year at his current salary; there's a lot of upfront costs that keep big-ticket Japanese imports from "small-market" teams.


I agree, but if you start bringing all that into account, you have to look at several, several other factors, and I really can't come up with a better place to stop looking at them. There's not a huge difference between a posting fee and a signing bonus. But once signing bonuses come into play, then draft position matters. Etc, etc.

Cagey B: This is all just nitpicking though. The real answer is to abduct a player's best teams by throwing a sack over their heads and driving them to your clubhouse a la Borat. Mike Trout sure added a lot to the A's lineup once he stopped crying and constantly asking where mommy and daddy were.


I've already faxed my Red Sox a plan to kidnap Manny Machado.
 
2013-05-29 07:35:08 PM  

DeWayne Mann: Ok, here's a rough draft of what I've got at the moment. I cheated a bit at SS, but I really don't think there's an obvious best SS in the game right now.

C: Posey
1B: Votto
2B: Zobrist
3B: Longoria
SS: Machado
LF: Trout
CF: McCutchen
RF: Harper

SP: Kershaw
SP: Verlander
SP: Felix
SP: Strasburg
SP: Yu

That's a bit under 110mil, slightly less than Cincy @ 13th biggest. So it sort of depends on what I do with DH, bench and bullpen. It's a BIT higher than I had guessed, mostly because I thought Votto's big contract kicked in next year; he, Verlander & Felix are the only players on the team making more than 11mil this year.


I guess I'll be the "Why would you choose Player A when a different player on my favorite team is CLEARLY better" guy.......

Zobrist over Cano?
 
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