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(Critical Miss)   You've been playing Monopoly wrong   (criticalmiss.com) divider line 201
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20759 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2013 at 1:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-29 12:30:52 PM
"The fark? Since when was that how you're supposed to play Monopoly?" i

I guess I'm the only one who read and followed the rules... But please continue to drone on and on about how everyone plays Monopoly wrong just because you used to play it wrong.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-05-29 12:43:01 PM
No.
 
2013-05-29 12:58:50 PM
I'm amazed when people don't know about auctions.  Everyone I've ever talked to about Monopoly in adulthood (admittedly few, it's not a regular topic of conversation for me) had no clue that properties may be auctioned, much less that they are supposed to be auctioned.

It vastly improves the game.
 
2013-05-29 01:03:14 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm amazed when people don't know about auctions.  Everyone I've ever talked to about Monopoly in adulthood (admittedly few, it's not a regular topic of conversation for me) had no clue that properties may be auctioned, much less that they are supposed to be auctioned.

It vastly improves the game.


If by improve it you mean it speeds it up, then yes.  The only good thing about Monopoly is when it's over, usually the result of one or more parties saying "fark this shiat"
 
2013-05-29 01:03:15 PM
Monopoly shows the true nature of a person.

Play a game with your "friends"... you'll find out just what greedy, evil cocksuckers they truly are.

/and how greedy, manipulative a cocksucker you are.
 
2013-05-29 01:10:04 PM
The only way I remember playing Monopoly was either me or my brother throwing the board over in frustration after wasting two hours on the way to the poor house.

(I come from a long line of sore losers.)
 
2013-05-29 01:10:54 PM

nekom: Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm amazed when people don't know about auctions.  Everyone I've ever talked to about Monopoly in adulthood (admittedly few, it's not a regular topic of conversation for me) had no clue that properties may be auctioned, much less that they are supposed to be auctioned.

It vastly improves the game.

If by improve it you mean it speeds it up, then yes.  The only good thing about Monopoly is when it's over, usually the result of one or more parties saying "fark this shiat"


Well, if you don;t like a game based on business and real estate dealings, then don't play it.  I think alot of games are ended that way.  Contra comes to mind.
 
2013-05-29 01:13:06 PM
I used to play with my cousins, who had their own intricate set of rules. Not only could you buy houses and hotels, but there were also barns and whorehouses. It was fairly complicated.
 
2013-05-29 01:15:26 PM
 
2013-05-29 01:16:55 PM

the_rev: I used to play with my cousins, who had their own intricate set of rules. Not only could you buy houses and hotels, but there were also barns and whorehouses. It was fairly complicated.


They could have saved a lot in overhead costs and increased rent fees if they had just used the barns as whorehouses.
 
2013-05-29 01:17:02 PM
The thing about Monopoly is that you know about an hour beforehand who is going to win, all that is left is grinding it out.  It's slow agony for everyone who isn't the winner.  So the rule in my house it that the one guy that want to keep playing has to take a nutshot (or KITBASH if you are not equiped with nuts)  for every turn.
 
2013-05-29 01:22:07 PM
we always played with a packed bong as the free parking bonus.  dude, how long have i owned the electric company?!
 
2013-05-29 01:22:37 PM
These four rules will vastly improve any Monopoly game:

1) Any time you have to roll the dice, whether it be to move or get out of jail, drink first.
2) Any time you have to draw a card (of either kind), drink first.
3) Any time you purchase a property, house, or hotel, drink first.
4) Any time you pass Go, finish your drink.

Games end much faster, trust me.
 
2013-05-29 01:24:11 PM
Any friend of mine: "Hey, let's play Monopoly."
Me: "Sure! Get out the game!"
Friend: [gets game out]
Me: [opens lid, flips contents out on the floor]
Me: "There. I just saved us two hours of our lives."
 
2013-05-29 01:26:31 PM
Anyone who plays Monopoly with a monetary bonus for landing on Free Parking is a f*cking idiot.  And likely complains that a game of Monopoly takes way too long.
 
2013-05-29 01:27:21 PM
Gee, I guess we're an oddity, we always played it with the auction rule in effect.

My stock broker has four stock certificates from Pennsylvania RR, B&O, Reading, and a forth railroad with the matching monopoly card framed on his office wall (there wasn't a literal "Short Line RR" but he does have the certificate from a short line company).
 
2013-05-29 01:27:53 PM

doublesecretprobation: we always played with a packed bong as the free parking bonus.  dude, how long have i owned the electric company?!


I like the way you play Monopoly.  Did you also have the players do a rail every time they passed Go?
 
2013-05-29 01:28:46 PM
If you actually read the rules, there's also a "short version" of how to play the game. I don't remember the details, because it's been decades, but it does move things along faster.
 
2013-05-29 01:28:50 PM
I always hated it when people would make side deals in trades.  Example: you don't have to pay me rent the first time you land on boardwalk unless you pass it 3 times.  I've seen family fights you couldn't believe over this.
 
2013-05-29 01:29:27 PM
The proper way to play Monopoly:

Step 1. Go to www.boardgamegeek.com

Step 2: Find a much better board game.

Step 3: Win.
 
2013-05-29 01:30:21 PM
Auctions don't make the game more fun.  Not playing the game makes the game more fun.  The game was never supposed to be fun.  It was supposed to be a political statement on capitalism.

The original purpose of the game of monopoly was a lengthy object lesson in economics intended to make everyone furious at each other and the state of the economic system?  If you ever ended a game by calling your grandmother a whore and flipping the board, you're playing it exactly as was intended.  You are supposed to be incensed that anyone would run things this way.

There was a second set of rules that supposedly would result in a game that ran forever, where no one was ever materially much better off than anyone else, yet money continued to change hands - just never accumulate.  It also had markers that could won or purchased like "Degreed education," and so on.  The point was to demonstrate that with some simple changes to the rules, everyone could be happy, educated, and of relatively equal prosperity.  It also had the virtue of being friggin' boring as hell, which is why you haven't played it.
 
2013-05-29 01:30:48 PM
I've known that rule and never have played following it. No one I've played with likes it.
 
2013-05-29 01:33:23 PM

Martonio: Anyone who plays Monopoly with a monetary bonus for landing on Free Parking is a f*cking idiot.  And likely complains that a game of Monopoly takes way too long.


You must be the Monopoly Guy.
manteresting.com
Thanks for the free parking.
 
2013-05-29 01:34:50 PM
Allready played this way, still a bad game.
 
2013-05-29 01:34:58 PM
That raises an interesting question...

Part of what I've never liked about Monopoly is how damned long it takes to get all the properties into peoples hands.  When I played growing up with my sisters we had a family rule that once the final property was purchased we entered the "Big Trade" phase where we haggled down to Monopolies (usually to my younger sisters disadvantage, she still complains about us "cheating" her in the trades).  Our goal was to speed up the end game since it took so freaking long to get there.

I wonder though "on average" how many moves it takes for a given number of players to "visit" each property.  If we assume that every property gets bought after visiting once using this auction rule...  Hmm...
 
2013-05-29 01:35:05 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Monopoly shows the true nature of a person.

Play a game with your "friends"... you'll find out just what greedy, evil cocksuckers they truly are.

/and how greedy, manipulative a cocksucker you are.


The last time I played, I had my family- including my 7-year-old son- chanting Occupy slogans at me. That's what happens when you let kids watch the news.

I was rather proud of him, to be honest. Still bankrupted him, though, for his own good.
 
2013-05-29 01:35:56 PM
I didn't know, but it wouldn't matter; I never NOT buy a property. Ever.  Even if I have to mortgage the ones I currently have.

doublesecretprobation: we always played with a packed bong as the free parking bonus.  dude, how long have i owned the electric company?!


Hells to the yes.
 
2013-05-29 01:36:13 PM
I've never been precisely sure what the rules of the game are.  But this is the order of how the game always goes in my house:

1.  Go around the board and by every damn thing you can.
2.  If you manage to complete a set without having to make a deal, you immediately have the edge on all the other players.  If no one else completes a set in a timely manner, you will win.  Unless of course, everyone else lucky enough to never land on your property.
3.  At some point, one player will be so far ahead that they can't be beaten.  This is the tipping point.  You may as well just end the game.
4.  The alternate timeline is that all the properties are purchased, and no one has a set, and no one wants to make a deal.  This is essentially a stalemate.  If deals are made, it comes down to dumb luck as to how well the deal works out - then we're back to point 3.

That's pretty much it...
 
2013-05-29 01:36:35 PM
Monopoly isn't really design for enjoyment as it is really an attempt to simulate how much landlords suck.

With that said, I don't remember whether I played it right or not since it's been 30 years, but I was still aware of how it is suppose to be properly be played. Actually I believe in the the original version every property was auctioned, not just ones that weren't bought immediately.
 
2013-05-29 01:37:30 PM
EA has a pretty decent app for Monopoly.  Pretty much follows everything in the article.
 
2013-05-29 01:38:20 PM
We enjoy monopoly as a drinking game.  We play by the in game rules with a few additions.  Such as free parking starts with a 500 in the middle and all card payouts, luxury tax, and income tax go in the middle.  If you land on free parking, you must drink an entire beer all at once (no stopping or pausing) in order to collect.
 
2013-05-29 01:39:04 PM

bingethinker: If you actually read the rules, there's also a "short version" of how to play the game. I don't remember the details, because it's been decades, but it does move things along faster.


Short game (from memory) Deal out n properties to each player (limited as you have to pay for them).  3 houses + 1 additional building cost (instead of 4+1) equals one hotel.  Game ends after second bankruptcy.

The real reason it is called monopoly: one way to win the game is to corner the houses.  Scoop up the cheap properties and plunk down enough houses on them (there are 36 total houses) and you can cause a building shortage: if there are more players wanting houses than buildings are auctioned off (rules here aren't clear enough considering how cut throat this operation can be).  Once you have three buildings on a significant number of properties and can make sure nobody else can you will grind the game out in your favor (or convince everyone else to concede.  Most likely the board gets flipped once people understand what has happened).

I was impressed that the computer (used winG, so likely from the win3.1 era) monopoly included limited housing (but not auctions).  Less impressed that the computer players didn't take that into account and quickly got bored.
 
2013-05-29 01:41:53 PM

Copperbelly watersnake: The proper way to play Monopoly:

Step 1. Go to www.boardgamegeek.com

Step 2: Find a much better board game.

Step 3: Win.


Dude, it's a classic. Go back to your Settlers of Catan and get off my lawn.
 
2013-05-29 01:41:55 PM

ramblinwreck: I've known that rule and never have played following it. No one I've played with likes it.


This is what everyone says about their house rules.  Virtually every house rule that people play by makes the game take much longer, and then everyone complains that the game takes too long, and no one wants to play.

All that money that people put on free parking, and the extra money people get for landing on GO or rolling snake eyes or whatever else people have made up, all these rules flood the game with money, and then it takes forever for anyone to go bankrupt.  The auction system makes the game go quicker, as the properties are all bought up quickly, often for more money than the original selling price.

If you play by the actual rules, you can win even with all the light blue properties, as it's quite difficult to accumulate enough money to buy hotels on the expensive properties.
 
2013-05-29 01:42:04 PM
could be fun in the right company
 
2013-05-29 01:42:31 PM
What games that are vastly superior to Monopoly might look like:
cdn1.daysofwonder.com

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
antalainen.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-29 01:43:42 PM
Auctions don't happen that often because most people can afford to buy lots of property from the very beginning. Almost no property is ever passed on in a game of Monopoly. Who really sits there with $1K in hand, no improvements on the board for any players, and passes up on anything? Everyone knows that money is just a method to transition to the true power - property. And the faster you make that versus the competition the higher your chances of winning. It's the same idea as it sucking to hit free parking or just visiting the first few times around the board so you miss a chance to buy property while everyone else lands on something unclaimed. Why would they then give you a chance to get a property on their turn?
 
2013-05-29 01:44:44 PM
I think playing Monopoly as a child made me a raging liberal.

/And "The Game of Life" made me depressed.
//HA HA! I'm ahead of you! I've made it to old age and death first! I win! I.....I win.....*tear*
 
2013-05-29 01:45:52 PM

jst3p: What games that are vastly superior to basically the same as Monopoly might look like:


Fixed that for you
 
2013-05-29 01:46:18 PM
So, a blog post from 2005 "revealing" a monopoly rule that, in fact, everyone knows about. This greenlight is so shiatty that I am enabling all ad-blockers on Fark for one month.
 
2013-05-29 01:46:24 PM
I was introduced to the auctioning concept as a kid by the Monopoly Playmaster.  http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0797/
I thought it was dumb at the time, but now I sometimes play on Pogo and use it.
Another thing the article skims over is that you have to pay for auctioned property in CASH.  This adds some strategy too, because you cannot mortgage or sell houses in order to raise funds.  So you have to manage your money differently and keep a decent balance on hand.
 
2013-05-29 01:47:51 PM
By the way, the auction system also creates new opportunities for strategic decision making.

Say two different players own one of the green properties, which cost about $300 each.  You land on the 3rd one.  You don't really want to buy the stupid thing, since now each of you will own one and no one will ever end up with a monopoly.  You don't want to waste $300 on this piece of crap, so you put it up for auction.  Now the other 2 players very much want it, so they will start bidding each other up and up, and probably one of them will blow $500 on it.  Now he's used up all his money and can't buy anything else, and even if he does get a monopoly, he won't have the money to buy the $200 houses anyway.
 
2013-05-29 01:48:16 PM

jst3p: What games that are vastly superior to Monopoly might look like:

[cdn1.daysofwonder.com image 351x324]


[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 259x194]

[antalainen.files.wordpress.com image 800x486]


And we can't forget:


profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2013-05-29 01:48:43 PM
I played it the correct way. In my teenage years when we played we would still drag out the game because when a person was about to go under they could do something for a price to stay in the game. Those games really never ended with a clear winner as we ended of having sex and not returning to the game.
 
2013-05-29 01:49:22 PM
I remember playing with my family. I was the youngest, eventually got pissed and flipped the board. Dad (who frowned upon temper tantrums) made me pick it all up and say I was sorry for ruining the game. I was also grounded for a short period of time. After reading the above comments, I don't feel so bad. Haven't played for prob. 30 years.
 
2013-05-29 01:50:18 PM
Nothing like an article from 2005 to really bring out the scent of dust and mothballs.
 
2013-05-29 01:50:24 PM
I love Monopoly

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-29 01:50:31 PM

AspectRatio: Settlers of Catan


I love that game. I can keep making "I've got wood for sheep" jokes until someone who actually enjoys playing it puts it away just so I'll stop.

Okay, you caught me. I hate that game, but I've figured out an immature and funny way to not have to ever play it for very long.
 
2013-05-29 01:50:39 PM
How much of a difference would auctions really make?

Almost everyone I play with buys properties 95% of the time because they become the things with the most value through out the game.

I do see how free parking money however makes the game longer.

I had a friend who decided he could "loan" people money so people wouldn't lose. I wanted to kill him. It's like, "thanks for trying to make this long boring game never end".
 
2013-05-29 01:50:51 PM
Risk is better anyway.
 
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