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(Opposing Views)   Time to start saving, folks. The going rate for a spot in heaven is $100K   (opposingviews.com ) divider line
    More: PSA, eBay, Jewish laws, irreligions, Yom Kippur  
•       •       •

8383 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2013 at 2:41 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2013-05-29 12:56:43 PM  
Jewish guy selling his place in heaven.

This thing practically writes itself.
 
2013-05-29 12:59:09 PM  
The mere fact that there were up to 100 real bids is mind-boggling. And immeasurably sad.
 
2013-05-29 01:08:43 PM  
The bad news is you have to get there on a Carnival cruise ship.
 
2013-05-29 01:11:23 PM  

Apos: The mere fact that there were up to 100 real bids is mind-boggling. And immeasurably sad.


I'll believe they were real when he gets the money.  Not before.

Oh and by the way, I'll give my spot for $50K
 
2013-05-29 01:16:08 PM  

CaptSacto: The bad news is you have to get there on a Carnival cruise ship.


I larfed.
 
2013-05-29 01:18:31 PM  
the winning bidder would have received a signed contract


images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-29 01:35:59 PM  
The price flew from 99 cents to $100,000 before eBay could take the posting down, citing rules that require items to be tangible.

So, when do we start to get the complaints that Ebay has declared Heaven not a tangible place?
 
2013-05-29 01:45:53 PM  
Suppose it's a better route than blowing something up or molesting children.
 
2013-05-29 01:51:25 PM  
this calls for a reformation.
 
2013-05-29 01:56:04 PM  

FlashHarry: this calls for a reformation.


Hell no! This calls for the Spanish Inquisition!

i3.ytimg.com
 
2013-05-29 01:58:04 PM  

AirForceVet: FlashHarry: this calls for a reformation.

Hell no! This calls for the Spanish Inquisition!

[i3.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Well I wasn't expecting that.
 
2013-05-29 02:06:25 PM  
Way to counteract those stereotypes, shylock.

I didn't even know Jews believed in heaven.
 
2013-05-29 02:08:14 PM  

CaptSacto: AirForceVet: FlashHarry: this calls for a reformation.

Hell no! This calls for the Spanish Inquisition!

[i3.ytimg.com image 480x360]

Well I wasn't expecting that.


No one does.
 
2013-05-29 02:21:15 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Know it. Learn it. Live it.
 
2013-05-29 02:38:00 PM  
Somewhere Pat Robertson is screaming "WHO LEAKED THE PRICE SHEET?"
 
2013-05-29 02:44:37 PM  
I got 95 theses, but Ari Mandel ain't one.
 
2013-05-29 02:45:03 PM  
Holy troll, Batman!
 
2013-05-29 02:45:25 PM  

"Ebay Pulls 100K Bid For Spot In Heaven"


For a moment I thought that's one expensive hooker. Then I realized it wasn't an escort's name.

 
2013-05-29 02:46:24 PM  
Haven't some folks tried to sell their soul on  ebay as well?

I imagine those auctions were shut down as well.
 
2013-05-29 02:46:33 PM  

Sybarite: Know it. Learn it. Live it.


Jesus is cumming, Grab your ankles.
 
2013-05-29 02:46:58 PM  
How much of that $100K is for the needle-eye sized camel?

not obscure.
 
2013-05-29 02:48:05 PM  
images.tvrage.com

Back in the Middle Ages, they had these things called "indulgences".  It was kind of like life insurance, except that it was heaven insurance....
 
2013-05-29 02:48:16 PM  

FlashHarry: this calls for a reformation.


upload.wikimedia.org

I just listened to Hardcore History's podcast of the Munster Rebellion over the weekend.  Farkin' crazy.  Martin Luther himself even despised those guys.
 
2013-05-29 02:50:18 PM  

tuna fingers: FlashHarry: this calls for a reformation.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 654x488]

I just listened to Hardcore History's podcast of the Munster Rebellion over the weekend.  Farkin' crazy.  Martin Luther himself even despised those guys.


of course he did.the Adams Family was superior in every way.
 
2013-05-29 02:51:47 PM  
ZMUgg: How much of that $100K is for the needle-eye sized camel?

not obscure.


Much of that 100k will need to be spent on all that vaseline or grease needed to get the rich guy through a needle's eye.

Jesus was a bit of commie.
 
2013-05-29 02:52:42 PM  
CSB Time

Last time I was in church the pastors wife was talking to the kids about how in 1977 she was in Russia on a good will mission spreading the word of Jesus Christ. That was the year the the USA won the gold medal in Olympic hockey.

I just about stood up and yelled bullshiat
 
2013-05-29 02:54:05 PM  
I was a subscriber to the Weekly World News and one of its headlines was "Heaven Is Full".  That completely changed my life.
 
2013-05-29 02:54:07 PM  

Sybarite: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x369]

Know it. Learn it. Live it.


Hopefully Jesus uses plenty of lube.
 
2013-05-29 02:54:20 PM  
I can get you there wholesale.
 
2013-05-29 02:55:25 PM  

Sybarite: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x369]

Know it. Learn it. Live it.


Seems like if I was a dude named Jesus, I'd be hanging around that church.
 
2013-05-29 02:55:51 PM  

Ima_Lurker: Sybarite: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x369]

Know it. Learn it. Live it.

Hopefully Jesus uses plenty of lube.


Bite the pillow. He's going in dry.
 
2013-05-29 02:56:21 PM  
No wonder Jesus said it's so difficult for the rich to get into heaven.  Once you get in, you're no longer rich.
 
2013-05-29 02:56:22 PM  
Religion is Atheism
 
2013-05-29 02:56:45 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: CSB Time

Last time I was in church the pastors wife was talking to the kids about how in 1977 she was in Russia on a good will mission spreading the word of Jesus Christ. That was the year the the USA won the gold medal in Olympic hockey.

I just about stood up and yelled bullshiat


Why?
The USSR lost in the semis, the nation was probably more upset with their own team than the Americans.  And Russia specifically always had an Orthodox church and churchgoers, it wasn't a secret.
 
2013-05-29 02:57:21 PM  
Big deal, if you gots your own planet lined up, CANAGETANAMEN?!?!?!??
img855.imageshack.us
 
2013-05-29 02:57:40 PM  
I'm not renewing my season tickets for heaven this year.
 
2013-05-29 02:57:49 PM  
selling indulgences??! That's our thing!
 
2013-05-29 02:58:05 PM  

tuna fingers: Munster Rebellion


2.bp.blogspot.com

i loved that episode!
 
2013-05-29 02:58:09 PM  

dletter: So, when do we start to get the complaints that Ebay has declared Heaven not a tangible place?


Right around when can people grammar use.
 
2013-05-29 02:58:54 PM  
I can only hope this guy left the Hascids for bacon cheeseburgers.
 
2013-05-29 02:59:05 PM  

SovietCanuckistan: Big deal, if you gots your own planet lined up, CANAGETANAMEN?!?!?!??
[img855.imageshack.us image 465x259]


it's a better deal if you ask me.
plus no singing.
which is good, 'cause I'm only not painfully ba at like 3 songs and none of them are in the hymnal.
 
2013-05-29 02:59:17 PM  
Good thing going to hell is free...
 
2013-05-29 03:01:04 PM  

FlashHarry: tuna fingers: Munster Rebellion

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 385x587]

i loved that episode!


holy shiat. I'll be in my bunk.
 
2013-05-29 03:01:21 PM  

FlashHarry: tuna fingers: Munster Rebellion

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 385x587]

i loved that episode!


I'll be in my bunk.
 
2013-05-29 03:01:59 PM  

MayoSlather: Suppose it's a better route than blowing something up or molesting children.


Damn good point.

Although, religion in the financial services industry makes me uncomfortable. So long as it's only religious people getting screwed and they don't tank the rest of the system.
 
2013-05-29 03:08:00 PM  

tuna fingers: Random Anonymous Blackmail: CSB Time

Last time I was in church the pastors wife was talking to the kids about how in 1977 she was in Russia on a good will mission spreading the word of Jesus Christ. That was the year the the USA won the gold medal in Olympic hockey.

I just about stood up and yelled bullshiat

Why?


Because he's an asshole.

He's also an idiot, because that was 1980.
 
2013-05-29 03:09:19 PM  
stop wanting to go to heaven when I saw the Exorcist.  The demon says to the priest, "your mother does acts of perversion in hell."  It might be bad but at least they get recreation breaks.

/not even slightly original
 
2013-05-29 03:09:32 PM  

FlashHarry: tuna fingers: Munster Rebellion

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 385x587]

i loved that episode!


Jesus Christ can those be real?
 
2013-05-29 03:11:49 PM  

tuna fingers: The USSR lost in the semis, the nation was probably more upset with their own team than the Americans. And Russia specifically always had an Orthodox church and churchgoers, it wasn't a secret.


Because there were no Olympics in 1977.
 
2013-05-29 03:13:29 PM  
How much for the place Thai Hookers go?
 
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