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(The Onion)   "Ancient Egyptian Agriculture Revolved Around 3 Seasons And Was Heavily Dependent On Irrigation" by Amanda Bynes   (theonion.com) divider line 29
    More: Satire, Egyptian Agriculture, Egyptian, Nile River, low tides, irrigation, fertile soil, farming, water management  
•       •       •

5886 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2013 at 8:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-05-29 08:25:29 AM  
Last line says it all
 
2013-05-29 08:25:56 AM  
They worked a little too hard for that one.
 
2013-05-29 08:26:49 AM  
I don't know, I liked it.
 
2013-05-29 08:42:30 AM  
I actually learned something new today. Neat.

/The More You Know
 
2013-05-29 08:51:17 AM  
It rains in Egypt, Bynes. Every winter.
 
2013-05-29 08:52:50 AM  
What's an Amanda Bynes, anyway? I caught her on some channel the other day, seems like another generic anorexic drug-addled bimbo. Or did I miss something?
 
2013-05-29 08:58:04 AM  
I don't get it. At all.
 
2013-05-29 08:59:04 AM  
Been to Egypt.

Summer, Super Summer, Summer again.
 
2013-05-29 09:24:40 AM  

lizaardvark: What's an Amanda Bynes, anyway? I caught her on some channel the other day, seems like another generic anorexic drug-addled bimbo. Or did I miss something?


Former gawky, awkward, rail thin teenaged kid's tv show star that filled out to the point where the blood supply to her brain became pinched off, and she turned into a train wreck.
 
2013-05-29 09:39:54 AM  

Nogale: It rains in Egypt, Bynes. Every winter.


Not enough to sustain agriculture. Ranges from an average of about 8 inches near the coast to 2.5 - 4 inches in the Upper Nile region. That would be considered a crippling drought anywhere crops are grown without irrigation. Tucson, Arizona, which is in a desert, gets about 12 inches per year.
 
2013-05-29 10:01:24 AM  
Today's weather report from NYC

Cloudy, 70 with a chance of falling bongs
 
2013-05-29 10:02:05 AM  
I'm glad they made that joke informative. Well played, onion.
 
2013-05-29 10:42:13 AM  
 
2013-05-29 10:47:19 AM  

ransack.: I don't get it. At all.


Nor do I.
 
2013-05-29 11:07:46 AM  
Is this The Onion's version of Amanda coming out of denial?

Da Nile is a river in Egypt.

I am mentally unstable and desperate and I need help.
 
2013-05-29 11:19:00 AM  
VERY quickly scanned TFA.
Loved the last line.
"I am mentally unstable and desperate and I need help."
True Art.
 
2013-05-29 11:30:51 AM  
Went on a little long with the facts. Would have preferred slowly mixing in the "crazy" until a last paragraph of utter nonsense, but appreciate the idea and effort, but then again maybe that is too obvious.

Also, poor girl is in some serious denial, and that was a nice affectation to go along with a story about a river in Egypt. What was the name of that river again?.
 
2013-05-29 11:56:29 AM  
I don't get it at all.

The article is pretty much straightforward and factual, then at the end she says she is mentally unstable or something like that.

Is this supposed to be a joke?
 
2013-05-29 12:08:05 PM  

olddinosaur: I don't get it at all.

The article is pretty much straightforward and factual, then at the end she says she is mentally unstable or something like that.

Is this supposed to be a joke?


I thought the joke was the line before that when she said Egypt was stable.

Enjoyed the read anyway, thanks for posting!
 
2013-05-29 12:16:47 PM  
I have never before seen the Onion so poignantly express such caring concern.
 
2013-05-29 12:23:41 PM  
Create a worker, Build a road, Irrigate, Avoid the Romans.

/man I miss Civ.
 
2013-05-29 12:32:39 PM  
is it just me or "satire" gets used too freely. It's like a get-out-of-a-bad-joke-free card.
 
2013-05-29 01:34:27 PM  
ransack.:

AngryJailhouseFistfark:

olddinosaur:


*Sigh* They're satirizing her by crediting her with writing an article far beyond her (apparent) intellect.

See also: George Bush Regales Dinner Guests with Impromptu Oratory on Virgil's Minor Works
 
2013-05-29 05:14:32 PM  
I don't understand how people didn't get the joke...
 
2013-05-29 05:23:44 PM  

Tyrosine: See also: George Bush Regales Dinner Guests with Impromptu Oratory on Virgil's Minor Works


Replace "Bush" with "Roosevelt" and that article would cease to be satire.  There was a time when presidents, and in fact anyone above a certain station, were quite well read and genuinely intelligent.

/Theodore, not Franklin
 
2013-05-29 05:34:23 PM  

Mr. Pokeylope: I don't understand how people didn't get the joke...


I got the joke because I happened to have not been able to wholly ignore the trainwreck Amanda Bynes headlines the past few days.  Some people might have been successful and therefore wouldn't get the joke.

Personally, I thought it'd have been funnier if they left the last line out, and just did the whole article straightfaced.
 
Esn
2013-05-29 09:23:19 PM  
Yeah, I didn't get this one either.

Doesn't help that I have no idea who Amanda Bynes is, nor particularly wish to.
 
2013-05-29 10:30:52 PM  
www.gobankingrates.com
 
2013-05-30 12:50:10 AM  

SlothB77: Is this The Onion's version of Amanda coming out of denial?

Da Nile is a river in Egypt.

I am mentally unstable and desperate and I need help.


More something along the lines of "she could write a book about denial", is my impression.
It works on other levels, too, such as "no way is she that smart" or even "when asked to write an article about *denial*, she misunderstood and wrote about *the Nile*" (because she's either dumb or so much in denial that she can't hear the word, or both).

 
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