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(Huffington Post)   The last acceptable form of spousal abuse: the easy assumption that fathers are dangerously incompetent at child-rearing unless following detailed instructions from mothers at all times   ( huffingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, domestic violence, defeatists, stay-at-home dad, dads, Etsy  
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9288 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2013 at 12:16 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-28 07:45:12 PM  
Stereotypes are a biatch aren't they dad.

Dude needs to tell his wife to STFU and take care of the damn kids.

Why the hell does he even know what a onesie is??
 
2013-05-28 07:45:49 PM  
Ironically women are usually the inferior parent when it comes to drama and fiction. Almost always, in fact. Take Disney:

Any Disney Dad? Oft confused but well meaning pillar of strength who will sacrifice anything, even their own life, for their children's happiness.

Any Disney Mom? Horrific she-beast who will hate their kids and kill or enslave any child they didn't shiat out themselves.
 
2013-05-28 07:46:13 PM  
No, subby.  Women give men detailed instructions on how to do everything so that there's a gurantee of an opening to start a fight and berate him over what she really wants to be angry about.
 
2013-05-28 08:10:39 PM  

doglover: Ironically women are usually the inferior parent when it comes to drama and fiction. Almost always, in fact. Take Disney:

Any Disney Dad? Oft confused but well meaning pillar of strength who will sacrifice anything, even their own life, for their children's happiness.

Any Disney Mom? Horrific she-beast who will hate their kids and kill or enslave any child they didn't shiat out themselves.


There are Disney moms?
 
2013-05-28 08:32:34 PM  
She talked the dad into rearing their child?
 
2013-05-28 08:35:39 PM  

toddalmighty: There are Disney moms?


Sure!

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-28 08:36:54 PM  
I don't think Subby knows what "spousal abuse" means.

doglover: Ironically women are usually the inferior parent when it comes to drama and fiction. Almost always, in fact. Take Disney:

Any Disney Dad? Oft confused but well meaning pillar of strength who will sacrifice anything, even their own life, for their children's happiness.

Any Disney Mom? Horrific she-beast who will hate their kids and kill or enslave any child they didn't shiat out themselves.


This isn't Disney's fault as much as much as European folklore's fault. Disney doesn't make many original stories, and when they do, moms look okay (see Dumbo and Bambi).

As for folktales, they come from a more misogynistic time, and also are about tapping into children's fears, and what is more frightening to child than losing their mother and have her be replaced with a monster?
 
2013-05-28 08:37:02 PM  
It was almost there, but it didn't quite reach men's rights hysteria.
 
2013-05-28 08:40:35 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: It was almost there, but it didn't quite reach men's rights hysteria.


That's because most of the problem goes away if moms internalize four simple words:

His way works, too.

(alternately, if you want a fresh one upside the head: Calm the fark down.)
 
2013-05-28 08:41:49 PM  
Abuse? I do not think it means what you think it means. Having an OCD wife is not abuse.
 
2013-05-28 08:47:33 PM  
Yeah, it's FOLKLORE'S fault stepmoms and stepdads suck...
 
2013-05-28 09:20:40 PM  
Career women face a dilemma when they have families. They want to be strong and independent and have careers and make lots of money but at the same time they want to be the primary caretaker of their kids. Meanwhile, they want a man that is successful and powerful yet not be more dominant in the household nor more important to the kids than her.

It's a bit of a paradox. Relinquishing control of the household and the children is not something women want to do.
 
2013-05-28 09:35:34 PM  
You can choose to be annoyed or amused by the little woman's unfounded anxieties.  The best course if to just put on your straight face, say "yes, honey," and stick the baby in the freezer as soon as she leaves.
 
2013-05-28 09:43:47 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: You can choose to be annoyed or amused by the little woman's unfounded anxieties.  The best course if to just put on your straight face, say "yes, honey," and stick the baby in the freezer as soon as she leaves.


Don't forget the air holes.
 
2013-05-28 09:44:44 PM  

doglover: BarkingUnicorn: You can choose to be annoyed or amused by the little woman's unfounded anxieties.  The best course if to just put on your straight face, say "yes, honey," and stick the baby in the freezer as soon as she leaves.

Don't forget the air holes.


Right.  Otherwise, the baby will swell and burst, making a mess.
 
2013-05-28 10:00:06 PM  
Really? You're upset about this? Get a life.
 
2013-05-28 10:00:55 PM  

Krieghund: Really? You're upset about this? Get a life.


He has a wife and baby; life is over.
 
2013-05-28 10:32:19 PM  
I thought maybe this was about parents getting divorced and the courts' overwhelmingly favoring the mother.  This dude needs to get some perspective.
 
2013-05-28 10:33:20 PM  
I have no idea why courts has an apostrophe... courts' opinions favoring the mother, maybe?
 
2013-05-28 10:52:14 PM  
The problem is is that fathers ARE dangerously incompetent due to the fact of them being men.
 
2013-05-28 11:05:20 PM  

cman: The problem is is that fathers ARE dangerously incompetent due to the fact of them being men.


Why should we care? I thought that was the whole point of choosing a suitable female to deal with all that nonsense.
 
2013-05-28 11:11:47 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: It was almost there, but it didn't quite reach men's rights hysteria.


Men's rights hysteria?  Now that's funny.
 
2013-05-28 11:13:26 PM  
Hubby's going to be the main caretaker of our babbies and I have zero issues with this. He's not as into the housecleaning as I would like him to be (I think this is often an issue that arises with SAHD's) but whatever, it's not the most important thing in the world.
 
2013-05-28 11:19:10 PM  

coco ebert: Hubby's going to be the main caretaker of our babbies and I have zero issues with this. He's not as into the housecleaning as I would like him to be (I think this is often an issue that arises with SAHD's) but whatever, it's not the most important thing in the world.


"A home should be clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be comfortable."  Ann Landers, circa 1970
 
2013-05-28 11:28:58 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: coco ebert: Hubby's going to be the main caretaker of our babbies and I have zero issues with this. He's not as into the housecleaning as I would like him to be (I think this is often an issue that arises with SAHD's) but whatever, it's not the most important thing in the world.

"A home should be clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be comfortable."  Ann Landers, circa 1970


Heh. Besides, if it bothers me that much, I can certainly do more. No one person can carry the entire housecleaning, child care, cooking, etc. regardless of the gender.
 
2013-05-28 11:30:56 PM  
But making generalizations about the other 3 billion people on the planet is fair
 
2013-05-28 11:52:29 PM  
Jesus Christ. Just be a man.

My wife pulls sh*t like this all the time, like she knows everything about children. "You dressed her in that?" or "Where are his socks" until I point out that I don't really f*cking care and if she wants to change the kid's clothes by all means she can go do that herself.

Then she sits there and lets our daughter walk all over her. "I'm going to count to three until I count to five and then I'm going to count to three again and if you aren't over here I'm going to tell you to go to time out and if you don't go I'm going to count to five again."

Pick your battles. I'd rather be the one to admonish my wife about her disciplining problems and let her win the fashion battles. I actually tell my wife when she's bribing the kid or negotiating too long. I don't want my kid to be a spoiled brat, I could care less if my wife thinks I can't put an outfit together.

My wife also happens to be on it when it comes to certain chores or getting the kids ready. I happen to be on it when it comes to roughhousing with my kids, teaching them puzzles or dance or whatever, and generally giving my wife the occasional weekend break so she can nap.

Marketing types try to play off the 'mom's know everything dads are dumb' angle for whatever reason, maybe they think it's cute, I don't particularly care. (Kill yourself. Seriously.)

Let's be brutally honest though this chump blogs about being a dad for whatever reason and he has to have something to discuss or complain about, the more hits it can drudge up the better, so here's his huge controversy - some f*cking joke he doesn't think is funny. Maybe he should just accept the fact that his wife sounds terribly unfunny and get over it.
 
2013-05-29 12:00:01 AM  

bdub77: Marketing types try to play off the 'mom's know everything dads are dumb' angle for whatever reason, maybe they think it's cute


They do it because women make 80% of household purchasing decisions.  (Note: that includes households headed by women, whether they have children or not.)
 
2013-05-29 12:05:27 AM  

doyner: No, subby.  Women give men detailed instructions on how to do everything so that there's a gurantee of an opening to start a fight and berate him over what she really wants to be angry about.


I wish the "smart" button was available.
 
2013-05-29 12:19:18 AM  

nmrsnr: I don't think Subby knows what "spousal abuse" means.

doglover: Ironically women are usually the inferior parent when it comes to drama and fiction. Almost always, in fact. Take Disney:

Any Disney Dad? Oft confused but well meaning pillar of strength who will sacrifice anything, even their own life, for their children's happiness.

Any Disney Mom? Horrific she-beast who will hate their kids and kill or enslave any child they didn't shiat out themselves.

This isn't Disney's fault as much as much as European folklore's fault. Disney doesn't make many original stories, and when they do, moms look okay (see Dumbo and Bambi).

As for folktales, they come from a more misogynistic time, and also are about tapping into children's fears, and what is more frightening to child than losing their mother and have her be replaced with a monster?


Indeed.
 
2013-05-29 12:20:12 AM  
The same people -- mostly moms -- who claim to be overworked and desperate for dads to do more are all too often the first ones to criticize them for not doing things right when they do step up. Despite the fact that most first-time moms are just as clueless and confused as first-time dads, it's chic to make fun of the dads, while moms are assumed to know absolutely everything. Guys see the low bar set for dads on commercials and TV shows and will only rise high enough to meet it.That's why I'm calling out all those women and moms who head up or own advertising agencies, cable companies and broadcast networks to take a stand against this. Just as soon as I can find one.
 
2013-05-29 12:22:26 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: bdub77: Marketing types try to play off the 'mom's know everything dads are dumb' angle for whatever reason, maybe they think it's cute

They do it because women make 80% of household purchasing decisions.  (Note: that includes households headed by women, whether they have children or not.)


Do women really control 80% of household spending?

/remember, any time a news article asks a question in the headline, the answer is no
 
2013-05-29 12:22:38 AM  
I wouldn't say dangerously incompetent but my wife certainly has some pretty good ideas about it that I might not have come up with
 
2013-05-29 12:23:29 AM  
Meh. If your wife does not respect the amount of effort and time and resources placed into raising your child, confront her on this and/or leave her. If you do not put in an appropriate amount of effort and time and resources into raising your child, be a f*cking man and do this. If, however, the worst you suffer from is the continual narrative of fathers as less attached parents than mothers, then consider yourself fortunate at least you are not in a custody battle; this is the only time you would have my sympathies for this. Women more often face serious problems in relationships.
 
2013-05-29 12:24:49 AM  
Considering there is a guy who just got arrested for putting his six month baby in a freezer for an hour I find this article badly timed.
 
2013-05-29 12:26:14 AM  
Women: Giant pains in the ass

/good thing you have pussies
 
2013-05-29 12:28:21 AM  

Vangor: be a f*cking man


That's how you got into this mess in the first place.
 
2013-05-29 12:28:41 AM  
AlwaysDoOppositeOfWhatBartSays.jpg
 
2013-05-29 12:28:46 AM  
My friend recently got divorced because his wife wasn't taking care of their son.  He got full custody due to his ex-wife not bothering to show up for the custody hearing.
 
2013-05-29 12:28:52 AM  
Men are supposed to be different types of parents than mothers are.

Deal with it.
 
2013-05-29 12:30:19 AM  
This comes from sitcoms.  We have farktards like that whiny coont Ray Romano to blame for popularizing the idiot dad. It pretty much was a given that a dad in a 90s or 00s sitcom was a tard.

Exceptions to this rule were few and far between, but Damon Wayans was an awesome dad on his sitcom, whatever it was called.
 
2013-05-29 12:30:55 AM  
If the mother of the child is not up to domineering, perhaps her mother or yours will do the job.
 
2013-05-29 12:31:19 AM  
He's a font of misplaced rage. Name your cliché; Mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry moments of levity actually cause him pain; gives him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts.
 
2013-05-29 12:31:53 AM  
My husband has maybe a 50% success rate when dressing the child appropriately, but the difference is that I don't assume that applies to all dads everywhere. It's just one of those funny things in our particular situation. His success rate improved somewhat when I told him to look down to see what he was wearing before putting clothes on our daughter. That stopped the "shorts in winter" and "sweaters in july" issues.
 
2013-05-29 12:33:22 AM  

DrGunsforHands: My friend recently got divorced because his wife wasn't taking care of their son.  He got full custody due to his ex-wife not bothering to show up for the custody hearing.


It really pisses me off when people like your friend's ex-wife decide to have children.

/that insult is directed in every way toward her and not for your friend for partnering with her or their kids
 
2013-05-29 12:34:17 AM  
This wouldn't be a big deal if it didn't tend to influence judges in custody hearings
 
2013-05-29 12:34:22 AM  
That's because dads know how to get it done awesomely, but for some reason our society has decided safely is more important.
 
2013-05-29 12:35:01 AM  

s2s2s2: Men are supposed to be different types of parents than mothers are.

Deal with it.


The problem isn't that dads are assumed to be "different", but "inferior".  See the difference?
 
2013-05-29 12:35:28 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: DrGunsforHands: My friend recently got divorced because his wife wasn't taking care of their son.  He got full custody due to his ex-wife not bothering to show up for the custody hearing.

It really pisses me off when people like your friend's ex-wife decide to have children.

/that insult is directed in every way toward her and not for your friend for partnering with her or their kids


No, you know what? Now I'm considering the possibility that she perhaps wasn't taking care of the kid because of postpartum issues. That doesn't explain the custody hearing though.
 
2013-05-29 12:35:57 AM  
The same people -- mostly moms -- who claim to be overworked and desperate for dads to do more are all too often the first ones to criticize them for not doing things right when they do step up. And by right, I mean their way. I've seen dads criticized and made fun of for how they dress the baby. For how they feed the baby. For how they handle things differently than moms. Despite the fact that most first-time moms are just as clueless and confused as first-time dads, it's chic to make fun of the dads, while moms are assumed to know absolutely everything. As if the parenting instruction manual is imprinted in the female DNA. The fact that mothers face an unfair societal expectation to be a perfect parent from the get-go is a separate, albeit deserving, issue. But it's no reason to crap all over the very same people you just asked to help more.

In other words, a reflection on what has been seen on just about every sitcom, comedy film, and animated series made in the last 30+ years. Bashing dads have been a thing for longer than Homer Simpson ruled the airwaves. Beaver and Brady got replaced by Raymond and Homer, and woman ate that shiat up. If men complain about the new double standard, its because they are simultaneously "threatened" by strong women and are being oppressive to their opinions.
 
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