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(KGW Portland)   There are many ways to try and get a baby to stop crying, some more controversial than others. Like putting the baby in a freezer for an hour   (kgw.com) divider line 36
    More: Asinine  
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11572 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2013 at 12:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-28 12:17:15 AM  
29 votes:
Nobody puts baby in the cooler.
2013-05-28 12:21:08 AM  
20 votes:
Ice ice baby
2013-05-28 12:39:17 AM  
19 votes:
Crib:

cdn.fluidretail.net

Stroller:

c.shld.net
2013-05-28 12:33:59 AM  
9 votes:
He probably heard this old, but funny joke and took it to heart.  (DRTFA, made me mad just reading the headline.. trying for humor...)

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
2013-05-28 12:28:28 AM  
6 votes:
Next you people will be complaining if he used the microwave to warm it up afterwards.
2013-05-28 02:02:30 AM  
5 votes:
i43.tinypic.com
2013-05-28 12:43:41 AM  
5 votes:
There's nothing more annoying than spoiled children.

Keep children in the freezer, so they'll stay fresh!
2013-05-28 12:24:23 AM  
5 votes:
Before we judge this guy too harshly, consider the fact that he may have made a Mr Freeze type pun while he did the deed.
2013-05-28 12:34:16 AM  
4 votes:
In this guy's defense, we don't actually know whether or not his baby is a lizard-human hybrid; if the child is, then this is a very effective way of making the baby more docile and easier to handle. Let's reserve judgement until we gather all of the facts.
2013-05-28 12:32:53 AM  
4 votes:
Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

i4.ytimg.com

/obscure?
2013-05-28 12:22:22 AM  
4 votes:

"The man told detectives he put the infant in there to stop her from crying.

Doctors expect the baby to recover thaw."


For faster times, use a pot of warm water to help the thawing process.

2013-05-28 01:02:43 AM  
3 votes:

Bonanza Jellybean: miss diminutive: Driving? License.
Hunting? License.
Fishing? License.
Flying? License.
Shooting? License.
Breeding? Meh, you got this.

Can you imagine how much it would cost to police that? I'm sure it would be a good thing in the long run, but how do you pay for it, and what are the penalties for unlicensed rutting? The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions. You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.


A lot of ideas probably sounded unfeasible when they were first proposed.  The horseless carriage, the moving picture, the printing press were probably all terrifying and new to the people of the day when they were invented, and yet were instrumental in founding our civilization.  I, for one, suggest we take a good long hard look at this satellite-based gonad-frying beam idea.
2013-05-28 04:37:05 AM  
2 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: Crib:

[cdn.fluidretail.net image 443x366]

Stroller:

[c.shld.net image 315x315]


Don't forget the car seat.

www.dhresource.com
2013-05-28 01:35:32 AM  
2 votes:
This guy's read his mythology. He knows that if you leave the child outside to die of exposure some meddling shepherd, woodcutter, lady gathering reeds or even wolves or vultures will save the kid. That never ends well.
2013-05-28 12:51:13 AM  
2 votes:
It's ok, that baby really needed to chill out.
2013-05-28 12:37:04 AM  
2 votes:

miss diminutive: Driving? License.
Hunting? License.
Fishing? License.
Flying? License.
Shooting? License.
Breeding? Meh, you got this.


Can you imagine how much it would cost to police that? I'm sure it would be a good thing in the long run, but how do you pay for it, and what are the penalties for unlicensed rutting? The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions. You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.
2013-05-28 12:31:56 AM  
2 votes:
the freezer is over the top.  At least the refrigerator has that light inside.
2013-05-28 12:31:06 AM  
2 votes:
They bring it upon themselves for crying like that. I swear, I think humans have the noisiest babies. I have no idea how natural selection didn't breed that out of us..... you'd think the pissing and moaning they do would bring every predator within a five mile radius to mommy and daddy's campsite.
2013-05-28 12:24:17 AM  
2 votes:

Cried too much:


thedroidyourelookingfor.files.wordpress.com

2013-05-28 12:21:51 AM  
2 votes:
I usually just shake em until they stop crying.
2013-05-28 12:21:19 AM  
2 votes:

AppleOptionEsc: I guess he liked his baby like he liked his coffee stored.


that's horrible. everyone knows freezing ruins the beans
2013-05-28 12:20:49 AM  
2 votes:
Driving? License.
Hunting? License.
Fishing? License.
Flying? License.
Shooting? License.
Breeding? Meh, you got this.
2013-05-28 06:11:19 PM  
1 votes:

Gordon Bennett: It's a bit difficult to describe in text. It's a very buzzy, nasal sound made by pushing your voice through the area around your nose. If you do it right you can feel he area vibrating, which is a bit uncomfortable.

If you make a very nasal, whiny EHHHHHHHH sound you'll probably be in the right direction.



apps.startribune.com
Gordon Bennett in concert!
2013-05-28 08:40:27 AM  
1 votes:

gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...



/obscure?


Still choking that chicken, eh?
mhd
2013-05-28 06:57:37 AM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-05-28 05:11:37 AM  
1 votes:

tjfly: Would like to point out how rampant libtards use this site and the correlation to the first 49 of 50 posts being shiatheaded soulless attempts at humor. I am guessing you people find levity in late term abortions. You "people" finally make sense to me now.


images.sodahead.com
2013-05-28 01:37:31 AM  
1 votes:
Approves
i44.tinypic.com
2013-05-28 01:30:26 AM  
1 votes:
Teach the controversy! There are many ways to get a baby to stop crying all of which deserve consideration. Sure, I might not have the most remote of ideas about parenting but my opinion must be as good as any other.
2013-05-28 12:46:05 AM  
1 votes:

you are a puppet: Before we judge this guy too harshly, consider the fact that he may have made a Mr Freeze type pun while he did the deed.


HASTA LA FREEZER, BABY!
2013-05-28 12:44:33 AM  
1 votes:

Tax Boy: There's nothing more annoying than spoiled children.

Keep children in the freezer, so they'll stay fresh!


My mom used to yell at me when I got fresh with her, so this sounds like a catch-22.
2013-05-28 12:39:08 AM  
1 votes:
An hour in the freezer stiffens meat and makes it easier to slice thinly for sammiches.   Momma got home just in time to make them.
2013-05-28 12:36:39 AM  
1 votes:

gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

[i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]

/obscure?


That's about as obscure as this chicken.
2013-05-28 12:23:44 AM  
1 votes:

AppleOptionEsc: I guess he liked his baby like he liked his coffee stored.


In the lower colon of a civet?
2013-05-28 12:22:59 AM  
1 votes:
2013-05-28 12:21:14 AM  
1 votes:
Did it work?
2013-05-28 12:19:59 AM  
1 votes:
That's cold, baby.
 
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