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(KGW Portland)   There are many ways to try and get a baby to stop crying, some more controversial than others. Like putting the baby in a freezer for an hour   (kgw.com) divider line 17
    More: Asinine  
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11562 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2013 at 12:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-05-28 12:20:49 AM
6 votes:
Driving? License.
Hunting? License.
Fishing? License.
Flying? License.
Shooting? License.
Breeding? Meh, you got this.
2013-05-28 12:31:06 AM
4 votes:
They bring it upon themselves for crying like that. I swear, I think humans have the noisiest babies. I have no idea how natural selection didn't breed that out of us..... you'd think the pissing and moaning they do would bring every predator within a five mile radius to mommy and daddy's campsite.
2013-05-28 12:17:15 AM
3 votes:
Nobody puts baby in the cooler.
2013-05-28 12:39:08 AM
2 votes:
An hour in the freezer stiffens meat and makes it easier to slice thinly for sammiches.   Momma got home just in time to make them.
2013-05-28 12:21:19 AM
2 votes:

AppleOptionEsc: I guess he liked his baby like he liked his coffee stored.


that's horrible. everyone knows freezing ruins the beans
2013-05-28 01:47:52 AM
1 votes:
After an hour wouldn't the child have suffocated? Not a lot of air in a freezer.
2013-05-28 01:35:32 AM
1 votes:
This guy's read his mythology. He knows that if you leave the child outside to die of exposure some meddling shepherd, woodcutter, lady gathering reeds or even wolves or vultures will save the kid. That never ends well.
2013-05-28 01:30:26 AM
1 votes:
Teach the controversy! There are many ways to get a baby to stop crying all of which deserve consideration. Sure, I might not have the most remote of ideas about parenting but my opinion must be as good as any other.
2013-05-28 01:02:43 AM
1 votes:

Bonanza Jellybean: miss diminutive: Driving? License.
Hunting? License.
Fishing? License.
Flying? License.
Shooting? License.
Breeding? Meh, you got this.

Can you imagine how much it would cost to police that? I'm sure it would be a good thing in the long run, but how do you pay for it, and what are the penalties for unlicensed rutting? The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions. You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.


A lot of ideas probably sounded unfeasible when they were first proposed.  The horseless carriage, the moving picture, the printing press were probably all terrifying and new to the people of the day when they were invented, and yet were instrumental in founding our civilization.  I, for one, suggest we take a good long hard look at this satellite-based gonad-frying beam idea.
2013-05-28 01:02:04 AM
1 votes:
Roy, WA. Where a trip to McKenna is a trip to the big city.
2013-05-28 12:47:53 AM
1 votes:

Bonanza Jellybean: miss diminutive: Driving? License.
Hunting? License.
Fishing? License.
Flying? License.
Shooting? License.
Breeding? Meh, you got this.

Can you imagine how much it would cost to police that? I'm sure it would be a good thing in the long run, but how do you pay for it, and what are the penalties for unlicensed rutting? The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions. You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.


Oh I know it's virtually impossible to implement, but it's a nice pipe dream. Maybe make it so that in order to qualify for certain potential parental benefits from the government you have to attend a class that teaches the basics of child care. You know, stuff like "don't put your baby in the freezer" and "shaking furiously isn't an expression of love".

Satellite-based gonad-frying beams gave me the funniest mental image I've had in a while.
2013-05-28 12:37:50 AM
1 votes:

gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

[i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]

/obscure?


That show went off the air years before I was born and it's still not obscure.

/quiet that chicken/baby!
2013-05-28 12:37:04 AM
1 votes:

miss diminutive: Driving? License.
Hunting? License.
Fishing? License.
Flying? License.
Shooting? License.
Breeding? Meh, you got this.


Can you imagine how much it would cost to police that? I'm sure it would be a good thing in the long run, but how do you pay for it, and what are the penalties for unlicensed rutting? The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions. You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.
2013-05-28 12:35:03 AM
1 votes:
Should definitely be charged wit attempted murder, amongst other things.
2013-05-28 12:33:59 AM
1 votes:
He probably heard this old, but funny joke and took it to heart.  (DRTFA, made me mad just reading the headline.. trying for humor...)

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
2013-05-28 12:21:14 AM
1 votes:
Did it work?
2013-05-28 12:16:42 AM
1 votes:
Fark this guy. Douchebag.
 
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