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(KGW Portland)   There are many ways to try and get a baby to stop crying, some more controversial than others. Like putting the baby in a freezer for an hour   (kgw.com) divider line 156
    More: Asinine  
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11566 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2013 at 12:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-28 02:35:57 AM
images.wikia.com
Approves
 
2013-05-28 02:39:18 AM

Mentalpatient87: Nobody puts baby in the cooler.


woah woah woah man.... woah!   This guy did...  This guy in the article... He put a baby in the cooler...
 
2013-05-28 02:41:07 AM
Kid will grow up to invent a human sized microwave.
 
2013-05-28 03:00:22 AM
But it's good enough for Eskimos!
 
2013-05-28 03:14:18 AM
Do you know how many baby Jews would have killed for the opportunity to be put in the freezer for an hour to cool down?  Get over it, people are so spoiled these days.
 
2013-05-28 03:14:52 AM

kazikian: Did the baby...
(sunglasses)
Chill out?


YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
 
2013-05-28 03:19:04 AM
If you do that when they're born they learn to never cry.
 
2013-05-28 03:22:05 AM

gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

[i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]

/obscure?


Leonard Nimoy was awesome in that.
 
2013-05-28 03:23:41 AM

MrHappyRotter: Do you know how many baby Jews would have killed for the opportunity to be put in the freezer for an hour to cool down?  Get over it, people are so spoiled these days.


How many?

/Don't leave me hangin'.
 
2013-05-28 03:23:54 AM
What a chilling story.
 
2013-05-28 04:20:52 AM
www.outrageousfortune.co.nz

What a child who's been traumatized in a freezer may look like

/he's special
//obscure?
 
2013-05-28 04:37:05 AM

ArcadianRefugee: Crib:

[cdn.fluidretail.net image 443x366]

Stroller:

[c.shld.net image 315x315]


Don't forget the car seat.

www.dhresource.com
 
2013-05-28 05:11:37 AM

tjfly: Would like to point out how rampant libtards use this site and the correlation to the first 49 of 50 posts being shiatheaded soulless attempts at humor. I am guessing you people find levity in late term abortions. You "people" finally make sense to me now.


images.sodahead.com
 
2013-05-28 05:37:00 AM

HotWingAgenda: Doctors expect the baby to recover.

Sounds like we have a future superhero on our hands.  Or supervillain.


Not really. Depending in body weight, you can put a 1-2 year old baby in a freezer for up to 3 goes without inflicting life-altering injury.
 
2013-05-28 05:51:45 AM

Bonanza Jellybean: miss diminutive: Driving? License.
Hunting? License.
Fishing? License.
Flying? License.
Shooting? License.
Breeding? Meh, you got this.

Can you imagine how much it would cost to police that? I'm sure it would be a good thing in the long run, but how do you pay for it, and what are the penalties for unlicensed rutting? The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions. You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.


The so-called "justice" system would be overjoyed with the opportunity to have yet another reason to build more prisons and stuff them to overcrowding.with more citizens.
 
2013-05-28 06:14:57 AM

Bonanza Jellybean: miss diminutive: Driving? License.
Hunting? License.
Fishing? License.
Flying? License.
Shooting? License.
Breeding? Meh, you got this.

Can you imagine how much it would cost to police that? I'm sure it would be a good thing in the long run, but how do you pay for it, and what are the penalties for unlicensed rutting? The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions. You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.


Just make it a mandatory vasectomy/sterilization for the parents. Do you have a license for that baby? No? Snip/snip.

Also exchange set up an iPhones for vasectomies exchange plan. It worked in India, there's no reason why it wouldn't work in ghetto/trailer park USA.
 
2013-05-28 06:36:38 AM
Well, how else are you supposed to get the string behind it's front legs? It comes right back to life when you leave it in the sun.
 
2013-05-28 06:46:23 AM

ArcadianRefugee: Crib:

[cdn.fluidretail.net image 443x366]

Stroller:

[c.shld.net image 315x315]


Dude, that's cold.
 
2013-05-28 06:50:48 AM

tjfly: Would like to point out how rampant libtards use this site and the correlation to the first 49 of 50 posts being shiatheaded soulless attempts at humor. I am guessing you people find levity in late term abortions. You "people" finally make sense to me now.


Hey, did you hear the one about the two aborted viable fetuses who went into a bar?
 
mhd
2013-05-28 06:57:37 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-28 06:57:48 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF_nfazQaek">http://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=AF_nfazQaek
 
2013-05-28 06:58:24 AM
How are url posted?
 
2013-05-28 06:59:03 AM

gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

[i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]

/obscure?


125 million people watched that episode. So, no.
 
2013-05-28 07:25:22 AM

tjfly: Would like to point out how rampant libtards use this site and the correlation to the first 49 of 50 posts being shiatheaded soulless attempts at humor. I am guessing you people find levity in late term abortions. You "people" finally make sense to me now.


Account created: 2005-02-23 15:53:21

Little slow on the uptake there...
 
2013-05-28 07:42:18 AM

Arthur Jumbles: They bring it upon themselves for crying like that. I swear, I think humans have the noisiest babies. I have no idea how natural selection didn't breed that out of us..... you'd think the pissing and moaning they do would bring every predator within a five mile radius to mommy and daddy's campsite.


They aren't as loud as you think they are. We have evolved hearing that is particularly attuned to the sound of a baby crying. When I had voice lessons I was taught a vocal trick using a mechanism similar to that babies use when they cry to make my voice sound half again as loud without actually raising the volume of my voice at all.

The down side is that as you would expect it is quite annoying to hear.
 
2013-05-28 07:47:25 AM
If the kid ends up freezing, you just put him in the microwave, right?
 
2013-05-28 08:02:14 AM

CleverID: I don't live too far from this town (Roy) and I am not surprised.  Roy is a very, VERY strange place...seriously, just a small trailer park and a bar.  Once I saw a horse tied up outside a trailer, just standing there, tied to a porch in the driveway.  Probably saddled up to go to the bar.


I bet he lost his license for DUI. Interestingly, I learned recently that it is illegal in Kentucky to ride a horse drunk.
 
2013-05-28 08:03:02 AM
What would you do-oO-ooo for a Klontyke bar?
 
2013-05-28 08:08:08 AM

legion_of_doo: Tony_Pepperoni: WTF is wrong with people?

How is babby forzen?

Reminds me of this wonderful story where the father was pissed off that the 2-year old kid wouldn't go back to sleep, kicked her between the legs so hard that she passed out, panicked because she was bleeding, wrapped the bleeding kid in a blanket, and left her outside in a nearby park... where she woke up, wandered around in the snow, and froze to death.

One of my favorite stories I came across on this website. Absolutely delightful, in a horrifying terrible way.


What .. the ... fark?
 
2013-05-28 08:14:03 AM

Bonanza Jellybean: The crazies, the poors, the dumb-dumbs, and the uneducated are so vastly more fecund than reasonable folks who plan out major life decisions.


Make all the seats in hospital emergency room waiting areas radioactive. That would eventually take care of the vast majority of the problem!
=Smidge=
 
2013-05-28 08:22:32 AM

fusillade762: After an hour wouldn't the child have suffocated? Not a lot of air in a freezer.


heart rate and breathing slows, body protects internal organs, so maybe not
 
2013-05-28 08:30:35 AM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

You're Not Sending ME to the Cooler!!!
 
2013-05-28 08:35:02 AM
My mom accidentally locked her kitten in the freezer for like 20 minutes until she could figure out where the crying was coming from.  Kitten was fine.  My mom is an idiot.
 
2013-05-28 08:38:29 AM
Dad is a zero. Certain to get a frosty reception in prison.


/got nuthin'
 
2013-05-28 08:40:27 AM

gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...



/obscure?


Still choking that chicken, eh?
 
2013-05-28 09:06:52 AM

Bonanza Jellybean: You'd need satellite-based gonad-frying beams and the ultimate surveillance state in order to make it work.


I see a good KickStarter project right there.
 
2013-05-28 09:22:55 AM

gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

[i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]

/obscure?



One of the most watched events in television history is supposed to be obscure?
 
2013-05-28 09:30:48 AM

Your Average Witty Fark User: Fark this guy you all. Douchebags.


FTFM
 
2013-05-28 09:31:19 AM

Gordon Bennett: Arthur Jumbles: They bring it upon themselves for crying like that. I swear, I think humans have the noisiest babies. I have no idea how natural selection didn't breed that out of us..... you'd think the pissing and moaning they do would bring every predator within a five mile radius to mommy and daddy's campsite.

They aren't as loud as you think they are. We have evolved hearing that is particularly attuned to the sound of a baby crying. When I had voice lessons I was taught a vocal trick using a mechanism similar to that babies use when they cry to make my voice sound half again as loud without actually raising the volume of my voice at all.

The down side is that as you would expect it is quite annoying to hear.


If you have one simple trick to make your voice half again as loud please share it with us. If it also reduces blood pressure or cholesterol levels all the better.
 
2013-05-28 10:08:37 AM

PunGent: tjfly: Would like to point out how rampant libtards use this site and the correlation to the first 49 of 50 posts being shiatheaded soulless attempts at humor. I am guessing you people find levity in late term abortions. You "people" finally make sense to me now.
Account created: 2005-02-23 15:53:21
Little slow on the uptake there...


His fingers just thawed out. He's 22 now, but he still cries and cries and cries.
 
2013-05-28 10:08:38 AM
Is  babby named Ethel?
 
2013-05-28 11:35:31 AM
So much liberal PC whining in this thread.  My parents used to lock me in a deep freeze for hours at a time and I turned out fine!
 
2013-05-28 12:44:44 PM
My father locked me in a freezer once.

Once.
 
2013-05-28 02:29:14 PM

gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

[i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]

/obscure?


The episode disturbed the fark out of me.
 
2013-05-28 02:31:12 PM

WalMartian: gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

[i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]

/obscure?

The episode disturbed the fark out of me.


It did to a lot of people, as was its intent. IIRC it was in response to the criticism that the show had made war look too fun.
 
2013-05-28 02:34:12 PM

namegoeshere: WalMartian: gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

[i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]

/obscure?

The episode disturbed the fark out of me.

It did to a lot of people, as was its intent. IIRC it was in response to the criticism that the show had made war look too fun.


It just seemed a shiatty way to end what was a very funny show.  I've never watched it again.
 
2013-05-28 03:30:55 PM
Baby won't stop crying?
verbosity.wiw.org
Maybe you should cool it.
 
2013-05-28 03:30:59 PM

WalMartian: namegoeshere: WalMartian: gingerjet: Was on the same bus when the baby was crying ...

[i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]

/obscure?

The episode disturbed the fark out of me.

It did to a lot of people, as was its intent. IIRC it was in response to the criticism that the show had made war look too fun.

It just seemed a shiatty way to end what was a very funny show.  I've never watched it again.


I don't usually watch final episodes. They tend to be buzz kills.

But yes, that one was especially bad.
 
2013-05-28 04:24:54 PM

qualtrough: Gordon Bennett: Arthur Jumbles: They bring it upon themselves for crying like that. I swear, I think humans have the noisiest babies. I have no idea how natural selection didn't breed that out of us..... you'd think the pissing and moaning they do would bring every predator within a five mile radius to mommy and daddy's campsite.

They aren't as loud as you think they are. We have evolved hearing that is particularly attuned to the sound of a baby crying. When I had voice lessons I was taught a vocal trick using a mechanism similar to that babies use when they cry to make my voice sound half again as loud without actually raising the volume of my voice at all.

The down side is that as you would expect it is quite annoying to hear.

If you have one simple trick to make your voice half again as loud please share it with us. If it also reduces blood pressure or cholesterol levels all the better.


It's a bit difficult to describe in text. It's a very buzzy, nasal sound made by pushing your voice through the area around your nose. If you do it right you can feel he area vibrating, which is a bit uncomfortable.

If you make a very nasal, whiny EHHHHHHHH sound you'll probably be in the right direction.
 
2013-05-28 05:49:53 PM

tjfly: You "people" finally make sense to me now.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
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