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(AZ Family)   The suspicious package found on a Scottsdale tennis court that required the attention of firefighters from three different cities and made a woman sick from its foul odor turned out to be an empty U.S. Postal Service box   ( azfamily.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Scottsdale, U.S. Postal Service  
•       •       •

5729 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2013 at 4:00 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-05-28 01:38:18 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-28 01:41:22 AM  
billstclair.com
 
2013-05-28 01:50:54 AM  
When I saw Scottsdale and it made somebody ill, I figured it must be Amy's Baking Company again
 
2013-05-28 03:11:56 AM  
Sound's like subby's junk.
 
2013-05-28 03:14:15 AM  
Land of the free!
 
2013-05-28 03:55:47 AM  
What really made that woman ill? The realization she was in Scottsdale, AZ.
 
2013-05-28 04:03:14 AM  
Enid, a sharp-eyed, clever young girl, who had been with the firm for only four weeks, couldn't help noticing the complete absence of tiny but tell-tale blood stains on Mr. Mellish's clothing. Nor did she notice anything strange in Mr. Mellish's behaviour that whole morning. Nor the next morning. Nor at any time before or since the entire period she worked for that firm.
 
2013-05-28 04:06:27 AM  
Of course it was a woman overreacting and "getting sick" from an empty box. Women are psychopathic.
 
2013-05-28 04:06:47 AM  

MmmmBacon: What really made that woman ill? The realization she was in Scottsdale, AZ.


No, it was the stench of plebe on the USPS box. Had it been FedEx overnight, she would have felt fine.
 
2013-05-28 04:10:11 AM  
Are we sure it wasn't Governor Tarkin?
 
2013-05-28 04:21:29 AM  
So reacting to lite-brites as bombs isn't stupid enough, now we've got to react to bits of blown-around litter as bombs.

Hooray, I guess.
 
2013-05-28 04:23:43 AM  
Maybe it was full of farts.
 
2013-05-28 04:35:48 AM  

Kejlina: Maybe it was full of farts.


Thanks Fartbama!
 
2013-05-28 04:41:28 AM  
Ah, Psychosomatics!
 
2013-05-28 04:51:29 AM  
I'm feeling ill just thinking about it.
 
2013-05-28 05:08:01 AM  
What's in the box?

//can't post pic on phone
 
2013-05-28 05:15:37 AM  
It's one of the last sexist bastion of my mind, and it will remain there until I wake up one day and the world has changed.

If someone believes in ghosts, homeopathy, crystal healing, leylines, electromagnetic ills, thereocratic pains, quantum healing, acupuncture, Anthrosophy, detoxing, evil vaccines, feng shui, past life regression, dowsing, astrology, aromatherapy, angel therapy, remote viewing, psychics, oujia boards, aura therapy, cupping, bioharmonics or that an empty box is the most foul smelling thing in the world its probably a woman. Some say "powerful minds create rich inner lives", others say "I can't believe a thing that comes out of her mouth, the lying biatch."

I think men are about equal when it comes to believing religious bollocks, but suddeny I got the strange urge to research that baseless assumption.
 
2013-05-28 05:30:00 AM  
The foul smell came from having their head up their own ass.
 
2013-05-28 05:34:17 AM  
It's like people seeing guns, immediately they feel like bullets are piercing through their flesh.
 
2013-05-28 05:34:23 AM  
I'm really interested in this woman who reported feeling ill... Did she claim it was caused by the mystery box? If so, I really need to know more about this woman... How old she is, what she does for a living, how many catchildren she has, etc... This woman who claimed to be made ill from an empty box, what is her story??
 
2013-05-28 05:42:06 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I'm really interested in this woman who reported feeling ill... Did she claim it was caused by the mystery box? If so, I really need to know more about this woman... How old she is, what she does for a living, how many catchildren she has, etc... This woman who claimed to be made ill from an empty box, what is her story??


Cats. She has cats.
 
2013-05-28 05:47:15 AM  

Bonanza Jellybean: Enid, a sharp-eyed, clever young girl, who had been with the firm for only four weeks, couldn't help noticing the complete absence of tiny but tell-tale blood stains on Mr. Mellish's clothing. Nor did she notice anything strange in Mr. Mellish's behaviour that whole morning. Nor the next morning. Nor at any time before or since the entire period she worked for that firm.


Have the new paperclips arrived, Enid?
 
2013-05-28 06:07:05 AM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: MmmmBacon: What really made that woman ill? The realization she was in Scottsdale, AZ.

No, it was the stench of plebe on the USPS box. Had it been FedEx overnight, she would have felt fine.


As a native, came here to say this, leavin' happy.
 
2013-05-28 06:10:22 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I'm really interested in this woman who reported feeling ill... Did she claim it was caused by the mystery box? If so, I really need to know more about this woman... How old she is, what she does for a living, how many catchildren she has, etc... This woman who claimed to be made ill from an empty box, what is her story??


It's tough being the governor.
 
2013-05-28 06:16:46 AM  

Bonanza Jellybean: Enid, a sharp-eyed, clever young girl, who had been with the firm for only four weeks, couldn't help noticing the complete absence of tiny but tell-tale blood stains on Mr. Mellish's clothing. Nor did she notice anything strange in Mr. Mellish's behaviour that whole morning. Nor the next morning. Nor at any time before or since the entire period she worked for that firm.

morning mr. mellish. morning Enid,

 
2013-05-28 06:33:13 AM  
 
2013-05-28 06:38:27 AM  

UsikFark: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I'm really interested in this woman who reported feeling ill... Did she claim it was caused by the mystery box? If so, I really need to know more about this woman... How old she is, what she does for a living, how many catchildren she has, etc... This woman who claimed to be made ill from an empty box, what is her story??

Cats. She has cats.


Nah, cat owners can't smell anything.
 
2013-05-28 06:42:30 AM  
The terrorists won. They totally won.
 
2013-05-28 06:43:02 AM  
Another ticking time bomb in Scottsdale?

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-28 07:02:11 AM  
media.flyersfaithful.com.s3.amazonaws.com
/The box,  whats in it?
 
2013-05-28 07:10:17 AM  
static.tvtropes.org

/The Box! The Box!
 
2013-05-28 07:13:57 AM  
FLAT RATE BOX!
 
2013-05-28 07:25:56 AM  
i3.ytimg.com
/One can never be too careful
 
2013-05-28 07:32:24 AM  

JerkyMeat: Land of the free!


And the home of the brave spineless pussies who're afraid of their own shadows.
 
2013-05-28 07:48:27 AM  
You do know they have to treat every incident as if it's real because the second they don't that's when something happens and everyone will run to the internet to scream "Why didn't you do something!?!?!"
 
2013-05-28 07:53:17 AM  
Maybe there used to be a smoked turky in the box.
/obscure?
 
2013-05-28 07:55:48 AM  
I saw a woman go into hysterics and pass out because of a gas leak. The gas: Nitrogen.
 
2013-05-28 07:57:34 AM  

squibbits: I saw a woman go into hysterics and pass out because of a gas leak. The gas: Nitrogen.


Nitrogen is bad, bad stuff. It's in hot dogs, you know.
 
2013-05-28 07:57:52 AM  

UsikFark: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I'm really interested in this woman who reported feeling ill... Did she claim it was caused by the mystery box? If so, I really need to know more about this woman... How old she is, what she does for a living, how many catchildren she has, etc... This woman who claimed to be made ill from an empty box, what is her story??

Cats. She has cats.


www.bodhitree.com
 
2013-05-28 07:59:45 AM  
If you've got about 12 minutes...

Al-buqureque

At least it wasn't full of sauerkraut.
 
2013-05-28 08:01:34 AM  
Scottsdale doesn't have a large fire department and Tempe and Phoenix are right there so the zomg three fire departments factoid doesn't bother me.
 
2013-05-28 08:03:23 AM  
Maybe the box was full of cell phone tower RF radiation.
 
2013-05-28 08:06:56 AM  
Also:

cdn.wl.uproxx.com

NOTHING!  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
 
2013-05-28 08:07:10 AM  

UsikFark: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I'm really interested in this woman who reported feeling ill... Did she claim it was caused by the mystery box? If so, I really need to know more about this woman... How old she is, what she does for a living, how many catchildren she has, etc... This woman who claimed to be made ill from an empty box, what is her story??

Cats. She has cats.


Hey! I have cats. Oh, point taken.
 
2013-05-28 08:16:02 AM  
The cops should of shot the box.
 
2013-05-28 08:17:56 AM  

Kejlina: Maybe it was full of farts.


If it fits, it ships.  I guess you can fit farts and panic in a box.  Who knew?

/somewhere in the US some elderly person is wondering why their grandson's manicure kit is in their bedpan and the box they meant to ship it in is missing.
 
2013-05-28 08:28:15 AM  
If the box stunk so bad, why not Summer's Eve?
 
2013-05-28 08:28:59 AM  
Really......suspicious "package"....and not one posts this???

justintimberlake.com
 
2013-05-28 08:36:15 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Of course it was a woman overreacting and "getting sick" from an empty box. Women are psychopathic.


bravo AAG.

also, has anyone seen amos quito recently?
 
2013-05-28 08:37:01 AM  
A few years ago a friend of mine was planning to meet up with her friends from college.  Their planned destinations were between Austin, Scottsdale, and San Francisco.  They chose Scottsdale.  I have never understood why anyone would do that.  That's like planning a vacation to suburban New Jersey... but in a desert.
 
2013-05-28 08:37:34 AM  
Bin Ladin and Fox TV post wins, American public goes for the ride.
story at 11
 
2013-05-28 08:40:21 AM  
I'm waiting for the headline that says "Entire State Shiats its Collective Pants Over Unproven Threat"
Which, would be logical.
 
2013-05-28 08:47:56 AM  
Maybe the box had been sprayed by a stray cat.
 
2013-05-28 08:57:38 AM  
crAZy
 
2013-05-28 09:07:13 AM  
i111.photobucket.com

Smells nauseatingly working class.  Better call the fire department to look into it!
 
2013-05-28 09:09:56 AM  
The box was full of windfarm sickness
 
2013-05-28 09:15:31 AM  

sethen320: squibbits: I saw a woman go into hysterics and pass out because of a gas leak. The gas: Nitrogen.

Depending upon the size of the space/leak N2 can be very dangerous.

Small leak in a large area with normal air flow? No problem.


Considering nitrogen is around 80% of the air we breathe... yeah, it's not really that dangerous unless you are like, stuck in a car and open a bottle of it or something. Just a leak of it won't kill you, you have to get up to really high concentrations of it before it kills you. The big danger is that you don't feel like you're suffocating, so if you DO walk in to a room with 100% nitrogen you won't know it and a minute or two later you suddenly black out. But that's only going to happen when you've got really high concentrations. A leak which raises the amount up to like 82% nitrogen, or just breathing it in general (which we're all doing at this very moment), ain't gonna do squat.

But most people assume oxygen is the majority of earth's atmosphere, so you can really trigger the psychosomatics with that one.
 
2013-05-28 10:05:29 AM  
I used to work in a forensics lab.  I was the lackey, so I always ended up being the one shuffling boxes around, most of which had evidence in them at some point ranging from blood soaked jackets, to sheets, etc.  It's really surprising how much icky smell an empty box can retain.  I don't know how many of you have smelled "death", but it's a really gross smell that hangs in your nostrils and is really hard to shake.

/I don't think this particular box held any death, though
//Just one kooky lady
 
2013-05-28 10:11:00 AM  

sethen320: But most people assume oxygen is the majority of earth's atmosphere, so you can really trigger the psychosomatics with that one.

Normal oxygen concentration of air is 20.9 percent. If that drops below 19 .5 percent you're in serious trouble.


You can permanently survive a partial pressure of oxygen equivalent to a 12% oxygen ratio.
 
2013-05-28 10:48:47 AM  
Liquid nitrogen causes plenty of fatal lab accidents.
 
2013-05-28 11:07:16 AM  
I'll take Gloria Ramirez for $400, Alex

/minor obscure
 
2013-05-28 11:35:37 AM  
sphotos-b.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2013-05-28 12:19:29 PM  
So where are the "Scottsdale Strong!" t-shirts being sold?
 
2013-05-28 02:12:27 PM  

wickedragon: It's one of the last sexist bastion of my mind, and it will remain there until I wake up one day and the world has changed.

If someone believes in [clip] acupuncture, [clip]


Actually, there is some science behind acupuncture.
 
2013-05-28 02:36:03 PM  
A box exactly like that one shows up at your front door.  You tear into it like Christmas morning.

A box exactly like that is left on the ground in a random spot, and everyone assumes it's a bomb.

Can anyone explain that in a way that makes sense?  Possibly by citing at least one example of a time when it was, in fact, a bomb?
 
2013-05-28 02:58:28 PM  

umberto: So where are the "Scottsdale Strong!" t-shirts being sold?


The T-Shirt stand I am setting up in the Scottsdale Quarter.  I will be there in an hour.

/Scottsdale Proud
//Scottsdale Strong
///Scottsdale Snob
 
2013-05-28 03:22:30 PM  

Infobahn: umberto: So where are the "Scottsdale Strong!" t-shirts being sold?

The T-Shirt stand I am setting up in the Scottsdale Quarter.  I will be there in an hour.

/Scottsdale Proud
//Scottsdale Strong
///Scottsdale Snob


My condolences. You have them.
 
2013-05-28 03:29:07 PM  

Nesher: wickedragon: It's one of the last sexist bastion of my mind, and it will remain there until I wake up one day and the world has changed.

If someone believes in [clip] acupuncture, [clip]

Actually, there is some science behind acupuncture.


That science being the placebo effect?

/Yes, I know about the 2012 meta-study; it's not that convincing...

//But, then again, I'm not dissing the placebo effect...
//If something makes you feel better, by all means, do it if you like...
 
2013-05-28 04:25:06 PM  

RobSeace: Nesher: wickedragon: It's one of the last sexist bastion of my mind, and it will remain there until I wake up one day and the world has changed.

If someone believes in [clip] acupuncture, [clip]

Actually, there is some science behind acupuncture.

That science being the placebo effect?

/Yes, I know about the 2012 meta-study; it's not that convincing...

//But, then again, I'm not dissing the placebo effect...
//If something makes you feel better, by all means, do it if you like...


But only the blue ones. The yellow ones don't work.
 
2013-05-28 04:40:35 PM  

Nesher: wickedragon: It's one of the last sexist bastion of my mind, and it will remain there until I wake up one day and the world has changed.

If someone believes in [clip] acupuncture, [clip]

Actually, there is some science behind acupuncture.


Yes, as RobSeace pointed out you have the placebo effect.
You also have documented mild pain relief, which I think is quite far removed from "cures cancer" and "don't worry about your failing liver anymore". Also, afaik, the pain relief does not require any sort of accurate hitting of magic spots. Just jab needles into the skin and you seem to get a local numbness. You could do that at home :D
 
2013-05-28 05:00:27 PM  
Reminds me of the Bakersfield airport shutdown, complete with TSA agents getting the vapors and having to go to the hospital, over some jars of honey.

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/Security-Scare-Shuts-Down-Ba ke rsfield-Airport-80726582.html
 
2013-05-28 05:04:02 PM  
demaL-demaL-yeH:
My condolences. You have them.


Says the man who lives in Tucson?  Back at you, buddy.
 
2013-05-28 05:18:50 PM  

wickedragon: Nesher: wickedragon: It's one of the last sexist bastion of my mind, and it will remain there until I wake up one day and the world has changed.

If someone believes in [clip] acupuncture, [clip]

Actually, there is some science behind acupuncture.

Yes, as RobSeace pointed out you have the placebo effect.
You also have documented mild pain relief, which I think is quite far removed from "cures cancer" and "don't worry about your failing liver anymore". Also, afaik, the pain relief does not require any sort of accurate hitting of magic spots. Just jab needles into the skin and you seem to get a local numbness. You could do that at home :D


I agree; other than some analgesia, it does not do anything. And I think the original Oriental theory involving "Chi" appears to be unscientific. But there is some theoretical effect due to release of endorphins, and gate theory, if I understand things correctly (which is a big assumption, I admit).

BTW, caught a few seconds of a Cancer Treatment Centers of America infomercial flipping through channels yesterday, and they apparently incorporate napropathy  as well as "mind/body medicine" in their regimen of cancer treatments.  I thought that was interesting.
 
2013-05-28 05:27:32 PM  

Infobahn: demaL-demaL-yeH:
My condolences. You have them.

Says the man who lives in Tucson?  Back at you, buddy.


*wipes away tears of laughter*

I've been to Scottsdale, ya mook. Enjoy the "bracing" air.
(Seriously, it's so bracing you can lean on it.)
/Bow down to Alice - I hear he likes it.
 
2013-05-28 10:01:52 PM  
mongbiohazard:  The big danger is that you don't feel like you're suffocating, so if you DO walk in to a room with 100% nitrogen you won't know it and a minute or two later you suddenly black out. But that's only going to happen when you've got really high concentrations. A leak which raises the amount up to like 82% nitrogen, or just breathing it in general (which we're all doing at this very moment), ain't gonna do squat.

Ayup.  Burrowing animals do freak out over low oxygen concentrations, us above-ground dwellers don't.

OTOH, I've heard that we're so sensitive to CO2 that double the normal concentration makes you feel like you're dying, even if the rest of what you're breathing is oxygen.
 
2013-05-29 06:21:37 AM  

Nesher: wickedragon: Nesher: wickedragon: It's one of the last sexist bastion of my mind, and it will remain there until I wake up one day and the world has changed.

If someone believes in [clip] acupuncture, [clip]

Actually, there is some science behind acupuncture.

Yes, as RobSeace pointed out you have the placebo effect.
You also have documented mild pain relief, which I think is quite far removed from "cures cancer" and "don't worry about your failing liver anymore". Also, afaik, the pain relief does not require any sort of accurate hitting of magic spots. Just jab needles into the skin and you seem to get a local numbness. You could do that at home :D

I agree; other than some analgesia, it does not do anything. And I think the original Oriental theory involving "Chi" appears to be unscientific. But there is some theoretical effect due to release of endorphins, and gate theory, if I understand things correctly (which is a big assumption, I admit).

BTW, caught a few seconds of a Cancer Treatment Centers of America infomercial flipping through channels yesterday, and they apparently incorporate napropathy  as well as "mind/body medicine" in their regimen of cancer treatments.  I thought that was interesting.


They give massages and controlled spinal dislocations to battle cancer? Thats...something.
 
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