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(Cracked)   Here are 5 celebrities you did not know were badass soldiers, because we are going to put happy trees over there, right maggot?   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, drill sergeants, happy tree, positive reinforcement, Army Air Corps, Jimmy Stewart, Mister Rogers, It's a Wonderful Life, Kansas City Fire Department  
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29015 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 May 2013 at 5:05 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-05-27 05:59:25 PM  
30 votes:

Fissile: Rod Serling.  Paratrooper.  Wounded in combat.

[ image 500x375]

Not to mention surviving an arrow through the head.
2013-05-27 03:56:41 PM  
28 votes:
fta #5. Bob Ross Was a Drill Sergeant
2013-05-27 12:03:54 PM  
8 votes:
missed one -
2013-05-27 04:41:51 PM  
4 votes:

Ooba Tooba: We've all read about these fellas here before. Perhaps cracked should do a list of "celebrities" who were complete dickheads IRL.

Cracked doesn't have an exabyte hard drive on their server yet.
2013-05-27 09:55:14 PM  
2 votes:
You know who else was a badass soldier before becoming a celebrity?
2013-05-27 09:31:09 PM  
2 votes:

Sgt Otter: That IS Hedy.

2013-05-27 08:29:19 PM  
2 votes:
This makes a lot more sense now:
2013-05-27 07:34:06 PM  
2 votes:

Mad_Radhu: whither_apophis: I'm glad Christopher Lee wasn't on the list... because everyone already knows he's a badass.

I'm torn about including Jon Pertwee for the same reason. Everyone already knew he had Bad Motherfarker stamped on the leather of his wallet, they just didn't realize the extent of it until the details were recently declassified

I've never heard of that guy before now, but after googling his name and "military", I wish I had.

Pertwee also worked alongside Ian Fleming during his spell with Naval Intelligence. He recalled: 'One day Fleming sent me for an interview for a job. They wanted a good French speaker.
'I thought the job was going to be liaison with the Free French. I did not fancy that at all, so I deliberately messed up the interview, pretending I could not understand what they were saying at times and throwing in the most  inappropriate answers.
'Afterwards, when Fleming got the report back, he said they did not want me and how badly I had done. I confessed I had done it on purpose because I did not want to work with de Gaulle's mob.
'He told me I was a blithering idiot because the interview was a chance to be our man in Tahiti.'
2013-05-27 06:30:53 PM  
2 votes:

acefox1: So, what did you do today?'m pretending to be Babe Ruth
2013-05-27 05:57:45 PM  
2 votes:
Rod Serling.  Paratrooper.  Wounded in combat.
2013-05-27 05:51:07 PM  
2 votes:
I'll see your Air Force drill instructor and raise with a Marine Corps drill instructor:

WWII veteran with the Marines, wounded in combat at Guadalcanal, spent about a year hospitalized with blackwater fever.  The bullet and the virus missed it by *that* much.
2013-05-28 01:24:58 AM  
1 vote:
Air Force drill sergeant is a badass?  I'm pretty sure it's closer to Den Mother.
2013-05-28 12:06:30 AM  
1 vote:

belhade: I saw a trivia blurb on "Pawn Stars" literally a minute before I saw this article: "Which cast member of Star Trek was shot six times during the invasion of Normandy?" I even guessed right.

You've got to be kidding me. I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It's just common sense
2013-05-27 08:46:54 PM  
1 vote:
Yeah, they seriously stretched/ignored the definition of a soldier, but some interesting reading. Did not know about Scotty's hand, that's pretty intense stuff!

I'd read about Don Adams' service a while back and always imagined him leading troops as Maxwell Smart ala:

"Gentlemen, we are going to take that hill in 2 1/2 hours!
Would you believe 2 1/2 days?"

And I love the idea of him being a drill instructor.
2013-05-27 08:32:55 PM  
1 vote:
Sorry, Cracked. First sergeant != Drill sergeant. If Ross was a drill sergeant, he'd be painting pictures of the Alamo, not Alaskan landscapes.
2013-05-27 08:14:24 PM  
1 vote:

lifeboat: Fissile: Rod Serling.  Paratrooper.  Wounded in combat.

[ image 500x375]

Not to mention surviving an arrow through the head.

Well, after all, he was a WILD AND CRAZY GUY!
2013-05-27 08:02:08 PM  
1 vote:

OtherLittleGuy: lifeboat:

[ image 320x400]

Son-in-law: USMC, Vietnam.

Marine Reverse until 1976.

So, he was in the Army then??
2013-05-27 07:22:27 PM  
1 vote:

OtherLittleGuy: Marine Reverse

Is that like a boat that only goes backwards?
2013-05-27 07:18:24 PM  
1 vote:

Current Resident: Fissile: Getting shot by one of the idiots on your own team who doesn't know how to operate a safety catch is more common than you know.

Yeah, I know.

Then it isn't more common than you know.
2013-05-27 06:28:15 PM  
1 vote:
Ted Williams scoffs at being left off this list. Then he wins the Triple Crown anyway, hits the last .400 season in baseball, gets his Marine Aviator wings flying a Corsair in WWII, comes back to play five more seasons of baseball including the 1946 World Series, then he goes off to fly 39 combat missions in jets strafing the commie hoardes in Korea with John Glenn before playing seven more years to cap off a Hall of Fame baseball career.

So, what did you do today?
2013-05-27 05:50:01 PM  
1 vote:
You maggots are going to be my happy little trees.
2013-05-27 05:33:32 PM  
1 vote:
Clearly they have not taken into account my fan fiction where Mr. Rodgers & Capt. Kangaroo team up to kill Mussolini.
2013-05-27 05:19:48 PM  
1 vote:
2013-05-27 05:16:21 PM  
1 vote:

Are you kidding me? Two web pages for five people?

Here they are. Fark you,

1) James Doohan
2) Vidal Sassoon
3) Steve Buscemi
4) Jimmy Stewart
5) Bob Ross

2013-05-27 04:58:21 PM  
1 vote:
Noticeably absent "tough guy" John Wayne
2013-05-27 01:55:02 PM  
1 vote:
It's a great story, but firefighter does not equal soldier, even with 9/11.

Substitute Dr. Ruth for Buscemi and we'll be fine.
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