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(Cracked)   Here are 5 celebrities you did not know were badass soldiers, because we are going to put happy trees over there, right maggot?   (cracked.com) divider line 188
    More: Interesting, drill sergeants, happy tree, positive reinforcement, Army Air Corps, Jimmy Stewart, Mister Rogers, It's a Wonderful Life, Kansas City Fire Department  
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28981 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 May 2013 at 5:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-27 10:59:25 AM  
List would fail without Jimmy Stewart and James Doohan. List doesn't fail.
 
2013-05-27 11:58:07 AM  
Huh, I didn't know that about Doohan's hand.
 
2013-05-27 12:03:54 PM  
missed one -

coolaggregator.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-27 12:47:01 PM  
They omitted this one...

i88.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-27 01:14:32 PM  

albert71292: They omitted this one...

[i88.photobucket.com image 393x480]


No, they're talking about celebrities you DIDN'T know was a badass. Audie Murphy became a celebrity BECAUSE he was a badass.
 
2013-05-27 01:55:02 PM  
It's a great story, but firefighter does not equal soldier, even with 9/11.

Substitute Dr. Ruth for Buscemi and we'll be fine.
 
2013-05-27 02:22:55 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: It's a great story, but firefighter does not equal soldier, even with 9/11.

Substitute Dr. Ruth for Buscemi and we'll be fine.


This.
Firefighters are better.
 
2013-05-27 02:42:50 PM  
List fails without Charles Durning.
 
2013-05-27 02:50:10 PM  

bearded clamorer: List fails without Charles Durning.


He can go in and replace Buscemi.
 
2013-05-27 03:34:48 PM  
Mel Brooks was a combat engineer who fought in the Battle of the Bulge.

Jason Robards has his destroyer sunk at the Battle of Guadalcanal.

Lee Marvin got shot in the ass at the Battle of Saipan.

James Garner received two Purple Hearts in the Korean War.

Ed McMahon was a forward artillery observer in the Korean War.

James Blunt was a captain in a recon battalion in Kosovo.
 
2013-05-27 03:56:41 PM  
fta #5. Bob Ross Was a Drill Sergeant

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-27 04:01:19 PM  
I'm glad Christopher Lee wasn't on the list... because everyone already knows he's a badass.
 
2013-05-27 04:05:43 PM  
We've all read about these fellas here before. Perhaps cracked should do a list of "celebrities" who were complete dickheads IRL.
 
2013-05-27 04:41:51 PM  

Ooba Tooba: We've all read about these fellas here before. Perhaps cracked should do a list of "celebrities" who were complete dickheads IRL.


Cracked doesn't have an exabyte hard drive on their server yet.
 
2013-05-27 04:58:21 PM  
Noticeably absent "tough guy" John Wayne
 
2013-05-27 05:06:11 PM  
No Bob Denver or Mister Rogers?
 
2013-05-27 05:10:04 PM  
No Eddie Albert?
 
2013-05-27 05:13:30 PM  

whither_apophis: I'm glad Christopher Lee wasn't on the list... because everyone already knows he's a badass.


Even the implications of Lee's service are chilling.
 
2013-05-27 05:16:21 PM  

Are you kidding me? Two web pages for five people?


Here they are. Fark you, Cracked.com

1) James Doohan
2) Vidal Sassoon
3) Steve Buscemi
4) Jimmy Stewart
5) Bob Ross

 
2013-05-27 05:19:48 PM  
t3.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-27 05:20:20 PM  

JosephFinn: whither_apophis: I'm glad Christopher Lee wasn't on the list... because everyone already knows he's a badass.

Even the implications of Lee's service are chilling.


You ever stabbed a man in the back? Exactly.
 
2013-05-27 05:21:15 PM  
So where's all the 20-somethings? Don't tell me only old guys have balls anymore.
 
2013-05-27 05:21:33 PM  

skinink: Are you kidding me? Two web pages for five people?
Here they are. Fark you, Cracked.com

1) James Doohan
2) Vidal Sassoon
3) Steve Buscemi
4) Jimmy Stewart
5) Bob Ross


2.5 celebs are worth 1k fark comments!
 
2013-05-27 05:22:16 PM  

Relatively Obscure: OtherLittleGuy: It's a great story, but firefighter does not equal soldier, even with 9/11.

Substitute Dr. Ruth for Buscemi and we'll be fine.

This.
Firefighters are better.


Wrong
 
2013-05-27 05:22:25 PM  
see that other article about electricity?

This looks terrifying:

i.crackedcdn.com
 
2013-05-27 05:23:13 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: Noticeably absent "tough guy" John Wayne


The Duke wished he had been as badass as Jimmy Stewart.
 
2013-05-27 05:23:43 PM  

Notabunny: fta #5. Bob Ross Was a Drill Sergeant


Distrubing and awesome.
 
2013-05-27 05:24:35 PM  
No Eddie Albert ? No Ernest Borgnine?
 
2013-05-27 05:24:44 PM  
... or even disturbing.
 
2013-05-27 05:25:19 PM  

edmo: So where's all the 20-somethings? Don't tell me only old guys have balls anymore.


No man. Only old guys had actual wars to fight in.
it's been a long time since the military had to go all out
 
2013-05-27 05:27:37 PM  

whither_apophis: I'm glad Christopher Lee wasn't on the list... because everyone already knows he's a badass.


I'm torn about including Jon Pertwee for the same reason. Everyone already knew he had Bad Motherfarker stamped on the leather of his wallet, they just didn't realize the extent of it until the details were recently declassified
 
2013-05-27 05:31:36 PM  
Damn, as if Steve Buscemi couldn't get any COOLER!
 
2013-05-27 05:33:32 PM  
Clearly they have not taken into account my fan fiction where Mr. Rodgers & Capt. Kangaroo team up to kill Mussolini.
 
2013-05-27 05:39:15 PM  
I knew about Stewart and Doohan - hard not to, if you're a fan of them. However, I didn't know about Steve Buscemi's firefighting career, or his staunch support for it - and I liked the fact that he actively discouraged publicity for it, because it's not about limelight.  And, the more I learn about Bob Ross, the more I respect the man.

Adding Vidal to that list seems incongruous, however - not that I don't respect his efforts, but that his efforts were vigilante in nature compared to the service of the other four.
 
2013-05-27 05:46:30 PM  

bearded clamorer: List fails without Charles Durning.


True. I didin't even know about all the shiat Durning went through until after he died.

It appears 40% of the list aren't actually soldiers and with all due respect to Bob Ross his entry didn't make any sense. It sounds like he did his job in Alaska (where we don't do USAF basic) and nobody actually spends an entire 20 years as an instructor unless they actually want to be. It's a stepping stone of career advancement for most. Then I went back to the article linked by Cracked and saw that he wasn't a drill sergeant. He was a First Sergeant, which actually makes sense.

The writer is probably too stupid to know the difference since he also didn't know the that firement and street thugs aren't soldiers either.
 
2013-05-27 05:48:06 PM  
Our concept of "badass" is often ridiculous.  How many of us have actually fought in a war?  How many of us are members of a street gang?  How many of us have actually got into a serious fight?  I wager that none of us have met many true badasses and thus have no realistic concept of what they really resemble.
 
2013-05-27 05:49:50 PM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: Relatively Obscure: OtherLittleGuy: It's a great story, but firefighter does not equal soldier, even with 9/11.

Substitute Dr. Ruth for Buscemi and we'll be fine.

This.
Firefighters are better.

Wrong


NO YOU ARE
 
2013-05-27 05:50:01 PM  
You maggots are going to be my happy little trees.
 
2013-05-27 05:51:07 PM  
I'll see your Air Force drill instructor and raise with a Marine Corps drill instructor:

oi42.tinypic.com

WWII veteran with the Marines, wounded in combat at Guadalcanal, spent about a year hospitalized with blackwater fever.  The bullet and the virus missed it by *that* much.
 
2013-05-27 05:51:48 PM  
Lee Marvin.  WWII USMC vet.   Wounded in combat.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-27 05:56:45 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: Noticeably absent "tough guy" John Wayne


He had more important business to attend to...

a0.vsoh.com
 
2013-05-27 05:57:45 PM  
Rod Serling.  Paratrooper.  Wounded in combat.

geektyrant.com
 
2013-05-27 05:59:25 PM  

Fissile: Rod Serling.  Paratrooper.  Wounded in combat.

[geektyrant.com image 500x375]


Not to mention surviving an arrow through the head.
 
2013-05-27 06:00:50 PM  

bifford: Our concept of "badass" is often ridiculous.  How many of us have actually fought in a war?  How many of us are members of a street gang?  How many of us have actually got into a serious fight?  I wager that none of us have met many true badasses and thus have no realistic concept of what they really resemble.


My son killed 3 men in combat last year. His patrol got ambushed, one of his Marines got shot, the kid patched him up while getting shot at, then used his own body to shield his patient while returning fire. He's pretty badass for a Sailor.
 
2013-05-27 06:01:26 PM  
US Army.  WWII combat vet.

www.timelesstracks.com
 
2013-05-27 06:04:36 PM  
And Yogi Berra was on one of the torpedo launchers that provided cover for the troops at D-Day....

And +1 on replacing Buscemi with Durning.
 
2013-05-27 06:05:46 PM  

vygramul: List would fail without Jimmy Stewart and James Doohan. List doesn't fail.


Actually, the list is full of fail because two of the people listed were not soldiers.
 
2013-05-27 06:07:40 PM  
Dennis Franz.  US Army.  Vietnam vet.

static.tvgcdn.net
 
2013-05-27 06:10:13 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: Noticeably absent "tough guy" John Wayne


Pretty sure John Wayne was never actually a soldier.  He only played them on the big screen.
 
2013-05-27 06:11:21 PM  
 James Blunt is a farking hero
 
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