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(Daily Mail)   Survey about sex with co-workers finds that 85% of respondents have never seen the ogres that populate Subby's office   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 97
    More: Obvious, human resources  
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9750 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 May 2013 at 10:56 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-27 12:08:11 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: 20/20: Can we just retire that tired old euphemism, "sleeping with," and just say "having sex with?"

My least favorite euphemism is "hook up." I think of tractors pulling trailers when I hear that, and it really doesn't sound anything like sex to me - it sounds more like just getting stuff done. I have to watch myself so I don't say things like "Let's hook up at the Buffalo Jump before we head out to that BMA just past Divide Road." My buddies probably wouldn't notice or care, but I'd feel weird about it if I slipped.

"Hook up." Grr.


When that first became a thing I uttered it to a friend. Her first thought was of the space shuttle docking with the station
 
2013-05-27 12:10:24 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Fuggin Bizzy: BarkingUnicorn: I never cheated on an SO because honor.

Bullshiat.

Your "bullshiat" is bullshiat. :P


The only thing better than honor...is "in her."
 
2013-05-27 12:12:50 PM  

spman: ...(soon to be) wife

...

This is the part that explains your whole paragraph. Naïveté.
 
2013-05-27 12:21:51 PM  
ogres and ogrettes need love, too
 
2013-05-27 12:34:43 PM  
When I worked in the restaurant industry, 100% of the women I worked with were DTF. It was not uncommon to walk into the walk in and see people in various stages of undress. Once caught my kitchen manager getting a BJ on the line, after we were closed but before we were all gone.

Now that I work for a large corporation, I have no idea what that number is, but I sure as hell know it isn't zero. The age range here is much, much wider than it was at any of my previous employers, and that has something to do with it.

I have no issue whatsoever with the management and the people they lead banging each other. Who gives a rats ass?

Banging, railing, or nailing. I prefer those three.
 
2013-05-27 12:35:34 PM  

zerkalo: Fuggin Bizzy: 20/20: Can we just retire that tired old euphemism, "sleeping with," and just say "having sex with?"

My least favorite euphemism is "hook up." I think of tractors pulling trailers when I hear that, and it really doesn't sound anything like sex to me - it sounds more like just getting stuff done. I have to watch myself so I don't say things like "Let's hook up at the Buffalo Jump before we head out to that BMA just past Divide Road." My buddies probably wouldn't notice or care, but I'd feel weird about it if I slipped.

"Hook up." Grr.

When that first became a thing I uttered it to a friend. Her first thought was of the space shuttle docking with the station


"Make fark" should be the only acceptable euphemism for sex.
 
2013-05-27 12:36:03 PM  

links136: i'm about to work at the hottest club opening up in town, so count me in.


You'll still probably have to pay for the lap dances.

Just sayin'.

No. You can't have this lap dance here for free. Not yours.
 
2013-05-27 12:39:04 PM  
In an office setting? No farking way, at least not in my office.

In a restaurant, especially one with a bar? fark yes.

I'm thinking of getting a part time job a restaurant just got the side ass.
 
2013-05-27 12:40:53 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: BarkingUnicorn: Fuggin Bizzy: BarkingUnicorn: I never cheated on an SO because honor.

Bullshiat.

Your "bullshiat" is bullshiat. :P

The only thing better than honor...is "in her."


+1
 
2013-05-27 12:42:47 PM  

megarian: links136: i'm about to work at the hottest club opening up in town, so count me in.

You'll still probably have to pay for the lap dances.

Just sayin'.

No. You can't have this lap dance here for free. Not yours.


I got a nude dance for a Starbucks triple-white mocha latte with no whipped cream.  Addicts are easy when they're  jonesing. :-)
 
2013-05-27 12:48:53 PM  
BarkingUnicorn:

I got a nude dance for a Starbucks triple-white mocha latte with no whipped cream.  Addicts are easy when they're  jonesing. :-)

Nude dance for a Starbucks?

thisdistractedglobe.com
/hot, contents may be...
 
2013-05-27 12:53:21 PM  

YoOjo: BarkingUnicorn:

I got a nude dance for a Starbucks triple-white mocha latte with no whipped cream.  Addicts are easy when they're  jonesing. :-)

Nude dance for a Starbucks?

[thisdistractedglobe.com image 500x272]
/hot, contents may be...


Heh.  IIRC, mine came to $5.15 with tax.
 
2013-05-27 01:07:47 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: megarian: links136: i'm about to work at the hottest club opening up in town, so count me in.

You'll still probably have to pay for the lap dances.

Just sayin'.

No. You can't have this lap dance here for free. Not yours.

I got a nude dance for a Starbucks triple-white mocha latte with no whipped cream.  Addicts are easy when they're  jonesing. :-)


I want to party with you!
 
2013-05-27 01:10:44 PM  

spman: What I don't get is how people can have affairs and not have it eat away at their conscience? Even the mere thought of sleeping with someone else and the likely end of the relationship with my (soon to be) wife that would come about as a result, is enough to scare me away from ever even considering it. I guess if you don't care about that, or are really that confident that you don't think you'll get caught, you can make it work, but having something like that gnawing at me would give me an anxiety disorder.


The real question is why did you bring up the topic of affairs when the article only mentioned sex? Something bothering you?
 
2013-05-27 01:16:39 PM  

megarian: BarkingUnicorn: megarian: links136: i'm about to work at the hottest club opening up in town, so count me in.

You'll still probably have to pay for the lap dances.

Just sayin'.

No. You can't have this lap dance here for free. Not yours.

I got a nude dance for a Starbucks triple-white mocha latte with no whipped cream.  Addicts are easy when they're  jonesing. :-)

I want to party with you!


I would be honored, you toothsome morsel, and you would be horrified. :-)
 
2013-05-27 01:19:04 PM  
I work with dudes.

Ugly, ugly dudes
 
2013-05-27 01:28:14 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: megarian: BarkingUnicorn: megarian: links136: i'm about to work at the hottest club opening up in town, so count me in.

You'll still probably have to pay for the lap dances.

Just sayin'.

No. You can't have this lap dance here for free. Not yours.

I got a nude dance for a Starbucks triple-white mocha latte with no whipped cream.  Addicts are easy when they're  jonesing. :-)

I want to party with you!

I would be honored, you toothsome morsel, and you would be horrified. :-)


Honored AND horrified?!? I'll bring the Starbucks.
 
2013-05-27 01:31:35 PM  
There this one particularly hot woman at my office that I've nick-named "fishnet girl" because she always wears fishnet stockings and looks ready to hit the clubs.   I stay away from her because she works in legal.

All the hot women work in legal or HR.  The two most dangerous departments.
 
2013-05-27 01:32:08 PM  

megarian: BarkingUnicorn: megarian: BarkingUnicorn: megarian: links136: i'm about to work at the hottest club opening up in town, so count me in.

You'll still probably have to pay for the lap dances.

Just sayin'.

No. You can't have this lap dance here for free. Not yours.

I got a nude dance for a Starbucks triple-white mocha latte with no whipped cream.  Addicts are easy when they're  jonesing. :-)

I want to party with you!

I would be honored, you toothsome morsel, and you would be horrified. :-)

Honored AND horrified?!? I'll bring the Starbucks.


Oh, I'm old-fashioned, dearling.  You needn't bring anything at all... especially clothing.
 
2013-05-27 01:37:50 PM  
Many years ago I worked with a woman who was very competent, quite attractive, and a bit prudish around the office.  She was also married to a State Policeman.  She and I had to travel together on a couple of occasions.  On those occasions she was very frank about the idea that she wanted to spend every night of whatever trip we happened to be on together and I must say she was incredibly talented.  Once back in the office, she was cool as a cucumber.  She also traveled with others from the office at times and I never had any notion that I was anything special - just what happened to be available when she was away from home and hubby.  Never mentioned it to anyone, however, as I figured discretion was the order of the day and I wasn't anxious to be bragging about banging a woman whose husband carried a gun for a living.  But I did enjoy trips with her.

Shortly after I left that company, I heard that her husband threw her out of the house and filed for a divorce.  I understand there were a lot of nervous men in the office.  As far as I knew, nobody was named.  She left the company for another job about 3 states over and I never heard of her again.  But when I ran into a few old buddies from that company a few years later, my suspicions of her promiscuity whenever she was out of town were confirmed.  And, my opinions of her considerable talents were echoed.  That being the only office "affair" in which I've ever engaged, I now wonder what ever happened to her.
 
2013-05-27 01:38:27 PM  

OgreMagi: There this one particularly hot woman at my office that I've nick-named "fishnet girl" because she always wears fishnet stockings and looks ready to hit the clubs.   I stay away from her because she works in legal.

All the hot women work in legal or HR.  The two most dangerous departments.


Legal secretaries I've known were submissive pleasers.
 
2013-05-27 01:49:35 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: spman: What I don't get is how people can have affairs and not have it eat away at their conscience? Even the mere thought of sleeping with someone else and the likely end of the relationship with my (soon to be) wife that would come about as a result, is enough to scare me away from ever even considering it. I guess if you don't care about that, or are really that confident that you don't think you'll get caught, you can make it work, but having something like that gnawing at me would give me an anxiety disorder.

So it's not conscience but cowardice that keeps you faithful?

I never cheated on an SO because honor.

/had one who didn't mind threesomes, though


For me, it's half conscience, half laziness. Much too complicated to keep the schedules (and lies) straight...
 
2013-05-27 01:51:49 PM  
I don't think anyone is hooking up at the store
 
2013-05-27 01:52:52 PM  

zerkalo: ogres and ogrettes need love, too


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Hold on guys, I got this. For the team. For you.

/wheee!
 
2013-05-27 01:59:29 PM  

jaytkay: What's this I hear about orgies at subby's office?!

Oh, "ogres".


I saw "orgies", too (No glasses, lots of wine).  I wanted to know where subby worked. Just out of curiosity.

/Retired school teacher
//Never had an orgy at work
///Shagged a former student but he was in grad school by then
 
2013-05-27 02:01:09 PM  
So, throw me in the just over half category. Because sleeping with a co-worker is awesome when the coworker is hot, can't get pregnant, and wants no-one else to know about it so work isn't weird.
 
2013-05-27 02:03:14 PM  
I work in a restaurant.  Employees farking each other is practically in the job description.
 
2013-05-27 02:04:25 PM  
i.ytimg.com
oblig
 
2013-05-27 02:08:40 PM  

Salmon: I work with dudes.

Ugly, ugly dudes


Have you looked in the mirror?

img.fark.net
 
2013-05-27 02:30:35 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: megarian: BarkingUnicorn: megarian: BarkingUnicorn: megarian: links136: i'm about to work at the hottest club opening up in town, so count me in.

You'll still probably have to pay for the lap dances.

Just sayin'.

No. You can't have this lap dance here for free. Not yours.

I got a nude dance for a Starbucks triple-white mocha latte with no whipped cream.  Addicts are easy when they're  jonesing. :-)

I want to party with you!

I would be honored, you toothsome morsel, and you would be horrified. :-)

Honored AND horrified?!? I'll bring the Starbucks.

Oh, I'm old-fashioned, dearling.  You needn't bring anything at all... especially clothing.


*swoon*
 
2013-05-27 02:34:35 PM  

hubiestubert: As a chef, you have to be careful in sleeping with staff. And as a manager, I really have to be careful with sleeping with staff. That being said, waitresses and bartenders are who I mix with. You spend a fair amount of your time, in a team environment, you get to know them well, and you hang out socially. And yes, there's often booze involved, so hooking up happens. You spend 12-14 hours a day with folks, yes, you develop some attachments with them.


As you might already know, I was in "the business" for years as a bartender. All any of us did was fark each other and then show up the next day with a screeching hangover. We did show up though, as a point of pride. Now working in a non-hospitality environment I see people call out 'sick' because they drank 4 beers the prior night. Pussies.

Anyway, bartenders and chefs are always farking someone at work. Sometimes at work. I think there's a federal law mandating that once you complete her drink order you have to stick your penis in her.

As you mentioned, it's the socializing aspect that usually starts it. After doing 400 covers and changing out kegs or rolling silverware all night, people want to get a drink and decompress. And we tend to drink together for commiseration, general b*tching about ownership, or any of the things that bond high-volume restaurant/bar people. That, and some of your best waiters, cooks, and bartenders are functioning alcoholics. Christ, you have to be to put up with that bullsh*t 12 hours a day.
 
2013-05-27 03:50:43 PM  

dickfreckle: hubiestubert: As a chef, you have to be careful in sleeping with staff. And as a manager, I really have to be careful with sleeping with staff. That being said, waitresses and bartenders are who I mix with. You spend a fair amount of your time, in a team environment, you get to know them well, and you hang out socially. And yes, there's often booze involved, so hooking up happens. You spend 12-14 hours a day with folks, yes, you develop some attachments with them.

As you might already know, I was in "the business" for years as a bartender. All any of us did was fark each other and then show up the next day with a screeching hangover. We did show up though, as a point of pride. Now working in a non-hospitality environment I see people call out 'sick' because they drank 4 beers the prior night. Pussies.

Anyway, bartenders and chefs are always farking someone at work. Sometimes at work. I think there's a federal law mandating that once you complete her drink order you have to stick your penis in her.

As you mentioned, it's the socializing aspect that usually starts it. After doing 400 covers and changing out kegs or rolling silverware all night, people want to get a drink and decompress. And we tend to drink together for commiseration, general b*tching about ownership, or any of the things that bond high-volume restaurant/bar people. That, and some of your best waiters, cooks, and bartenders are functioning alcoholics. Christ, you have to be to put up with that bullsh*t 12 hours a day.


Cheers.

/I know that feel.
 
2013-05-27 04:04:29 PM  
I'll have to recuse myself from this discussion because when I was an intern at a major chemical company I banged a temp. Since we've been married for almost 12 years, I have to say it worked out really well for me.
 
TWX
2013-05-27 04:13:29 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: 20/20: Can we just retire that tired old euphemism, "sleeping with," and just say "having sex with?"

My least favorite euphemism is "hook up." I think of tractors pulling trailers when I hear that, and it really doesn't sound anything like sex to me - it sounds more like just getting stuff done. I have to watch myself so I don't say things like "Let's hook up at the Buffalo Jump before we head out to that BMA just past Divide Road." My buddies probably wouldn't notice or care, but I'd feel weird about it if I slipped.

"Hook up." Grr.


Hmmm... just getting stuff done, I like that... New euphemism...
 
2013-05-27 04:18:58 PM  
Advice for the ladies:  If you meet your lover while working at a company that makes farming implements, and then decide to break up with him later, you write him a "John Deere" letter...
 
2013-05-27 04:29:28 PM  

HeadbangerSmurf: My wife and I own the company so I'm getting a kick out of this article...


Came here to say this.

/get some hanky panky done ontop of the desk
 
2013-05-27 04:36:11 PM  

Your Average Witty Fark User: When I worked in the restaurant industry, 100% of the women I worked with were DTF. It was not uncommon to walk into the walk in and see people in various stages of undress.


So it wasn't uncommon to be walked in on in the walk in?

/Grammar hurts my brain.
 
2013-05-27 04:38:05 PM  
Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays.
 
2013-05-27 04:47:46 PM  
How YOU doin' subby?

/farts, wipes spittle from chin, strokes meno mustache and chin hairs
 
2013-05-27 04:48:29 PM  
a walk in is a fridge.

That sentence makes sense to anyone who has had exposure to the food industry.

/no charge for that one
 
2013-05-27 04:53:00 PM  

dbirchall: My office Christmas party tends to involve Chinese food.


Is that code for oral sex with the cute Asian intern?
 
2013-05-27 04:55:09 PM  
Engaged to the office manager.

/Crosses fingers.
 
2013-05-27 05:15:04 PM  

dbirchall: Your Average Witty Fark User: When I worked in the restaurant industry, 100% of the women I worked with were DTF. It was not uncommon to walk into the walk in and see people in various stages of undress.

So it wasn't uncommon to be walked in on in the walk in?

/Grammar hurts my brain.


The walk in isn't such a great place. Liquor room on the other hand, or dry storage, or the chef's office, big relatively comfy boxes, furniture in the latter, and more importantly, doors that lock...

Gig at the Delaney House out in Western Mass upped them all, in that there was a bridal suite, and a laundry service. Real bed, real sheets, and housekeeping changed them over if there was bedding in the bin at the end of the hall. Perfect for a mid-morning break, especially if the dining room captain was covering for us...
 
2013-05-27 06:34:01 PM  
CSB:

I once was invited to an "friends and office collegues" orgy. No I dont work at the vatican.

Received the email invitation and thought, well isnt that interesting. Wasnt announced that way however, it mentionned pyjama party and invited some very selected people from the office. The inviter wasnt a lady I would have loved to see in nightgowns, but the invites list had impressive good looking ladies. When I went there, some of those were even there! They had already someone selected, so I chose another lady that didnt work with us. A few years later, that same lady started working for the office ( didnt hire her, HR did! ) and I was her superior. Even today we work togheter and while im not her direct superior, she is still in some of the groups I manage.

So sex is good in call centers.
 
2013-05-27 06:43:38 PM  
CSB

I did this on two occasions.

Once while working in a call center, a coworker and I got a little flirtatious, she basically said I didn't have the guts to follow through with my end of the deal, and I proved her wrong.

The second time was at different job - started flirting with the girl in sales, ended up hooking up a few times.

Good times.

/CSB
 
2013-05-27 09:55:06 PM  

hubiestubert: dbirchall: Your Average Witty Fark User: When I worked in the restaurant industry, 100% of the women I worked with were DTF. It was not uncommon to walk into the walk in and see people in various stages of undress.

So it wasn't uncommon to be walked in on in the walk in?

/Grammar hurts my brain.

The walk in isn't such a great place. Liquor room on the other hand, or dry storage, or the chef's office, big relatively comfy boxes, furniture in the latter, and more importantly, doors that lock...

Gig at the Delaney House out in Western Mass upped them all, in that there was a bridal suite, and a laundry service. Real bed, real sheets, and housekeeping changed them over if there was bedding in the bin at the end of the hall. Perfect for a mid-morning break, especially if the dining room captain was covering for us...


You'd think dry storage, right? It's warmer, not all cold and shiat- but our dry storage didn't have a door on it, the walk-in had two.

And yes, grammar hurts.

Ow.
 
2013-05-28 07:57:09 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: I resisted 4 office temptations over the years, and succumbed to one.  She got fired for something unrelated to us banging, and I was pissed.  Her last name - I kid thee not - was Fleishaker.


Please tell us that she was a cucumber slicer.
 
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