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(TMZ)   Amanda Bynes takes to Twitter to tell Rihanna the only reason Chris Brown used her as a punching bag is because she was ugly   (tmz.com) divider line 31
    More: Followup, Amanda Bynes, Rihanna, Twitter, punching bags, Blast!  
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4624 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 May 2013 at 3:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-27 01:01:42 PM  
13 votes:
I picture this scene:

A dark alley in New York City.

Lindsey Lohan is standing in the alley, looking around nervously, tapping her foot. She checks her watch, looks around some more, and checks it again. Suddenly,  Amanda Bynes comes out of the shadows and says, "Psst! Hey! I'm here."

"Where the f♥ck have you been? We can't get caught, and every second makes it more likely. We're both famous. People will recognize us instantly and use their iPhone to send pictures to Instagram if they see us!" says Lindsey, firmly.

"I know! I'm sorry. I was being followed by a cop. All the cops are out to get me. Stupid white cops all want to slap my vagina. Why won't they leave... my vagina... alone?" whines Amanda.

Lindsey rolls her eyes. "Shut up about your pussy and get over here!"

Amanda gets really close to Lindsey. They both look around to make sure nobody's watching.

"Okay," Lindsey starts, "Here's a gram of crack, a bag of weed, and the name of a good wig shop. You have to remember: Be high profile! They'd better be talking about you on Facebook, Twitter, and TMZ this week."

"Right. Got it." replies Amanda, "And I should act crazy, right?"

Lindsey gives her a sidelong, condescending look. "Yeah. 'Act'crazy. Right."

"And if I get arrested again?"

"Don't worry. I've got your back. My lawyer will send someone to take care of it. We'll spin it on to the news, get some more coverage there, and really draw attention to you and away from me."

Amanda frowns, "What about the money? And the promise"

Lindsey rolls her eyes again, "Jesus, yes... You'll get the whole 50 million and a co-starring role in my next big movie if you can successfully divert the media from talking about me for a whole month."

Amanda smiles. Her left eye twitches. "And Drake?"

Lindsey sighs, "Yes, and you'll get Drake. It's no problem. I can arrange for it. Those rap people are all under the control of their record companies, and if my friends at Universal tell him to do something, he'll do it. He knows-- like all those musicians-- that he's only famous as long as the record company lets him be famous. As soon as they drop him and replace him, he becomes a memory. So yes, he'll be yours."

"YES!" shouts Amanda, "And then I will have him in my vagina! MY vagina! Hee heee heeee haa hee!"

"Shut up!" barks Lindsey, "We're still at risk here! If any reporters find out about this, we'll both be in trouble, and we might even have to serve jail sentences longer than a day!"

"Eww! No! We're famous! They can't make us do that!" squeals Amanda.

"Yes they can! Wesley Snipes is still in prison! It can happen!" says Lindsey.

Amanda tilts her head quizzically, "Who's Wesley Snipes?"

"My point, exactly." Lindsey says, matter-of-factly. "He used to be super-famous. Now... He's gone!"

Amanda screams. Lindsey covers Amanda's mouth.

"Now go. Make certain they don't talk about my problems and I'll make sure that vagina of yours has more Black dicks in it than a community swimming pool."

"I don't get it." shrugs Amanda.

"Nevermind. Go!" says Lindsey, pushing Amanda back out into the street. "And make sure you blame everything on someone else!"

"I have the perfect person in mind!" says Amanda as she gets out her iPhone to send a tweet to Rihanna.
2013-05-27 01:34:19 AM  
13 votes:
i369.photobucket.com
2013-05-27 12:54:39 AM  
9 votes:
To be fair, Rihanna is a bit of an uggo, unless you're into wall-eyed, smush-faced five-heads.

She looks like a funhouse mirror version of Halle Berry.
2013-05-27 03:53:59 PM  
5 votes:
Amanda Bynes looks like a thrift store Furby
2013-05-27 12:28:42 AM  
5 votes:
@rihanna

Ya see what happens when they cancel Intervention?


24.media.tumblr.com
2013-05-27 09:50:07 AM  
4 votes:

basemetal: [i369.photobucket.com image 500x300]


<img src="www.propstore.com ">
2013-05-27 04:44:31 AM  
4 votes:
Chris Brown would murder that vagina. And misdemeanor assault everything else.
2013-05-27 01:53:40 AM  
4 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: To be fair, Rihanna is a bit of an uggo, unless you're into wall-eyed, smush-faced five-heads.

She looks like a funhouse mirror version of Halle Berry.


But she can definitely take a punch.
2013-05-27 05:15:20 AM  
3 votes:

Sgt Otter: 100 Watt Walrus: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU...


[i.imgur.com image 715x1024]

[i.imgur.com image 570x1450]

[i.imgur.com image 850x546]

[i.imgur.com image 850x531]

[i.imgur.com image 400x1363]

[www.bubblews.com image 635x710]


Honey, you got real ugly.
2013-05-27 04:49:17 AM  
3 votes:

100 Watt Walrus: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU...


[i.imgur.com image 715x1024]

[i.imgur.com image 570x1450]

[i.imgur.com image 850x546]

[i.imgur.com image 850x531]

[i.imgur.com image 400x1363]


www.bubblews.com
2013-05-27 01:25:42 PM  
2 votes:

ten foiled hats: "Must be true, EdgeRunner posted it on Fark" wouldn't work here, then?

/Never had a flu shot...I AM THE LIZARD KING!


Hey, uh.. I didn't post any of that. I stepped away from my computer for a minute and my wife stole my login. Or it was my cat. Yeah, my cat ran across the keyboard. After my wife logged her in.

/crap, I just figured it out. My wife IS my cat! Damn, was I drunk that night. F*ckin' Vegas drive-thru chapels, they'll hitch you to anyone or anything if you've got the $15.
2013-05-27 09:50:59 AM  
2 votes:
To be honest, this is not her best picture...

25.media.tumblr.com
2013-05-27 06:18:02 AM  
2 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: To be fair, Rihanna is a bit of an uggo


Please post vivid jpgs of the radiant Mrs. Jones and the Temple of Doom.
2013-05-27 12:16:28 AM  
2 votes:
If inexplicably trolling Rihanna isn't a symptom of an undocumented mental illness, I don't know what is.....
2013-05-27 09:09:14 PM  
1 votes:

phoxxy: Are we even sure it is actually her? I mean, it could be some girl that says she is her and the real her is off on some tropical island somewhere going "syke!".  Before and after pics don't even look remotely alike. Not even a smidge.

It's probably her. But I'm just saying.... It's like... holy hell what happened to her?


"Syke?" Really?
2013-05-27 04:38:42 PM  
1 votes:
Well lets see, Rihanna isn't that attractive and clearly she has some screws lose because she went back to Chris (or her song S&M is more a personal ad as opposed to just a song).  On the other hand Rihanna has a fairly stable career.

Bynes looked good in her photo shoots, although those of course she's been photoshopped more than an Iranian missile launcher.  She's now ugly, crazy, and is carrying god knows what thanks to her trip to rock bottom.

/Bynes is like Lilo, nice enough in jpeg format, something I want nothing to do with in real life
2013-05-27 03:11:47 PM  
1 votes:
i.perezhilton.com
2013-05-27 02:01:53 PM  
1 votes:

Apos: ZeroCorpse: I picture this scene:


24.media.tumblr.com

Strangely enough, I think Bynes will resemble this .gif before too long.
2013-05-27 12:31:47 PM  
1 votes:

coco ebert: @rihanna

Ya see what happens when they cancel Intervention?



Yeah, because repeating the same action again and again is insane.  By the way, is she on again or off again with CB this week.  I can never keep track.


//Rihanna v Amanda Bynes is just a psychological cripple fight.
2013-05-27 11:45:00 AM  
1 votes:

nmemkha: [i.imgur.com image 850x546]

[www.bubblews.com image 635x710]

Insanity is a hell of a drug.


I notice in the 2nd shot she kept the coke nail. Nice.
2013-05-27 11:09:19 AM  
1 votes:
I'm not sure if she's just naturally this crazy or what, but I'm pretty sure I've never seen any Hollywood celebrity have so much insanity in such a short amount of time.

God damn, Amanda, even Amy Winehouse would have told you to slow down.
2013-05-27 08:56:48 AM  
1 votes:
They should just fark and get it over with.
2013-05-27 08:22:53 AM  
1 votes:
I take back what I said about the media making her look crazy.
2013-05-27 06:25:30 AM  
1 votes:

timharrod: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: To be fair, Rihanna is a bit of an uggo

Please post vivid jpgs of the radiant Mrs. Jones and the Temple of Doom.


Before or after a savage beating?
2013-05-27 05:29:07 AM  
1 votes:
That wig is awesome
2013-05-27 05:11:58 AM  
1 votes:
Maybe she's not mentally ill,maybe she's just a coont.
2013-05-27 05:11:05 AM  
1 votes:
Well, I have a feeling they'd all benefit from anustart.
2013-05-27 04:53:45 AM  
1 votes:
She joked about abusing women? Someone needs to punch the shiat out of her.
i348.photobucket.com
2013-05-27 04:10:41 AM  
1 votes:

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU...


i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

2013-05-27 03:03:04 AM  
1 votes:
For the harvest!
2013-05-27 12:57:05 AM  
1 votes:
Rihanna Mantooth is a saint!

/actually i think she's sexy, like, alien-being-hot
//so step off, yo, |:-|
 
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