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(Huffington Post)   How to fill out that Taco Bell job application like a BOSS   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 23
    More: Amusing, Taco Bell, minimum wages  
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32089 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2013 at 3:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-25 05:29:51 PM
11 votes:
I once filled out a job application, and under "Former Employment" I put "Bermuda Triangle Search and Rescue Team, 4 years (1987-1954).

They called me back for an interview.
2013-05-25 04:03:29 PM
9 votes:

red5ish: From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.

WTF.


Just change the labels:
i.imgur.com
2013-05-25 03:54:52 PM
9 votes:

ThatGuyGreg: Godscrack: Or just fill out an application when your high.

*you're


*today might be you're day to apply to work at Taco Bell.
2013-05-25 06:45:16 PM
4 votes:
Surprised the old McDonald's application hasn't been posted yet.
I think it's older than the internet.

content.bored.com
2013-05-25 05:18:52 PM
3 votes:

Glendale: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Sure, but what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?" That's just inviting smartass responses.


exactly..
"well, I finally escaped from the dungeon where i'd been the unwilling sex slave of a 300 pound Samoan woman since I was the age of 3, when I glanced up and saw 2 words I'd never seen: 'Taco Bell'. The people working inside allowed me to suck sour cream from a caulk gun and then told me to piss off. This is all I aspire to be"
2013-05-25 05:14:30 PM
3 votes:
The best answer I ever encountered from a job applicant.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY PLEASE CALL: 911, unless I am bleeding real bad then for gods sakes see if there is a doctor in the house.

I hired the kid
2013-05-25 04:06:41 PM
3 votes:

downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.


Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.
2013-05-25 11:57:12 AM
3 votes:
Desired Wage: "minimum"

There ya go! Good for you!
2013-05-25 06:00:25 PM
2 votes:

red5ish: From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.


Reddit produces original material? Huh. I always assumed it was "Actual source to who the fark cares where you heard it first, you idiot."
2013-05-25 04:11:58 PM
2 votes:
What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!
2013-05-25 08:51:18 PM
1 votes:
StreetlightInTheGhetto:

Thank you for the sympathy, yet my aegis requires college education, which is far to grave a financial pitfall to be worth the risk of not being able to pay back the loan. I have abandoned that endeavor, unless I could afford it out of pocket. Most other ambitions these days require one to be licensed, bonded, insured, with previous experience and rapport; without these credentials, an individual is considered a nobody worthy only of the most insignificant work. Any dreams of doing something 'transcendental' or 'world-changing' are ill harbored with slim odds of being met without significant pelf, and most business pursuits are superficial with a desire only for profit. It was foolhardy to ever consider doing anything worthwhile--few people have the means to do so. There is nothing new under the sun, the works of one person are oft forgotten within several generations, and all is vanity. If I could just do some honest work and earn a decent living, maybe become self-employed, it would be enough.
2013-05-25 08:33:03 PM
1 votes:

MelGoesOnTour: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 231x245]

Judith Light.  Not the best pic of her but you get the idea.  And, yes, she's still MILFy.


4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-05-25 06:08:22 PM
1 votes:

I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.



You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.
2013-05-25 05:50:51 PM
1 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.


This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.
2013-05-25 05:40:54 PM
1 votes:

BarkingUnicorn: I'd consider hiring that application for the entertainment value. OTOH, he/she might be overqualified; obviously spent a fortune on a liberal arts degree.


davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.


I used to put strange information on applications for food service or retail jobs and it usually got me hired. When it's a business with a relatively small local staff, you can often hand the application to the manager in person and sell yourself. If you come across as charming and unhinged but still marginally competent for the job, you can get hired just for the fun of having you around.

CSB: I once applied for a pizza delivery job and claimed to be an expert in phrenology who lacked credentials due to the absence of institutions providing accreditation for the field. I got the job.
2013-05-25 05:39:40 PM
1 votes:

The_Original_Roxtar: Glendale: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Sure, but what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?" That's just inviting smartass responses.

exactly..
"well, I finally escaped from the dungeon where i'd been the unwilling sex slave of a 300 pound Samoan woman since I was the age of 3, when I glanced up and saw 2 words I'd never seen: 'Taco Bell'. The people working inside allowed me to suck sour cream from a caulk gun and then told me to piss off. This is all I aspire to be"


"I found out later that wasn't a caulk gun, at least from a spelling perspective. And, it wasn't sour cream."
2013-05-25 05:38:25 PM
1 votes:
True story:  On a job application I found, "Do you have a drinking problem?"  Replied, "Only when I can't get a drink" and was offered the job.
2013-05-25 04:51:52 PM
1 votes:
stolen from insanity wolf:

q: where do you see yourself in 10 years
a: sitting at your deck, farking your wife, wearing your face stapled over mine
2013-05-25 04:17:12 PM
1 votes:

Agent Smiths Laugh: I'd probably hire someone with the gumption to write something amusing like that.

Far better than the wheedling nob-polishing normally expected.


Me too.

Face it, the stakes are not high. You need a dependable person with a pulse who can figure out how to make assembly line imitation food.

The LOLs are a bonus.
2013-05-25 04:14:23 PM
1 votes:

NewportBarGuy: Desired Wage: "minimum"

There ya go! Good for you!


Who knew?  And all this time I've been putting "Maximum Wage".  Duh!
2013-05-25 03:58:26 PM
1 votes:
From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.

WTF.
2013-05-25 03:05:06 PM
1 votes:
THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.
2013-05-25 12:00:41 PM
1 votes:
Or just fill out an application when your high.
 
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