If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   How to fill out that Taco Bell job application like a BOSS   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 145
    More: Amusing, Taco Bell, minimum wages  
•       •       •

32086 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2013 at 3:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



145 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-05-25 11:57:12 AM
Desired Wage: "minimum"

There ya go! Good for you!
 
2013-05-25 12:00:41 PM
Or just fill out an application when your high.
 
2013-05-25 12:17:39 PM
In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired
 
2013-05-25 03:05:06 PM
THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.
 
2013-05-25 03:13:20 PM
I was all like "oh, this has got to be great"

Read the article and I was all like "meh"
 
2013-05-25 03:36:15 PM

remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired


Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.
 
2013-05-25 03:50:49 PM

Godscrack: Or just fill out an application when your high.


*you're
 
2013-05-25 03:54:52 PM

ThatGuyGreg: Godscrack: Or just fill out an application when your high.

*you're


*today might be you're day to apply to work at Taco Bell.
 
2013-05-25 03:55:37 PM

jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.


Was thinking this as well. Keeps the bennies rolling in.
 
2013-05-25 03:55:54 PM
This is what passes for "like a boss?"

Kids these days.
 
2013-05-25 03:58:26 PM
From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.

WTF.
 
2013-05-25 03:59:22 PM

Elegy: This is what passes for "like a boss?"

Kids these days.


Who's the Boss?

/yep, that gal who starred in it was quite wood-worthy back in the day.
//and, yep, I can still get a boner thinking about Dorothy Stratton,
///get offa my, er, whatever-it's-called
 
2013-05-25 03:59:38 PM

remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired


Sure, but what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?" That's just inviting smartass responses.
 
2013-05-25 04:01:41 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Judith Light.  Not the best pic of her but you get the idea.  And, yes, she's still MILFy.
 
2013-05-25 04:02:07 PM
I'd consider hiring that application for the entertainment value. OTOH, he/she might be overqualified; obviously spent a fortune on a liberal arts degree.
 
2013-05-25 04:03:29 PM

red5ish: From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.

WTF.


Just change the labels:
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-25 04:04:24 PM

BarkingUnicorn: I'd consider hiring that application for the entertainment value. OTOH, he/she might be overqualified; obviously spent a fortune on a liberal arts degree.


And didn't pick up writing skills?? Really? Look at that penmanshiat.

My money says high school sophomore.
 
2013-05-25 04:06:41 PM

downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.


Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.
 
2013-05-25 04:10:41 PM
This "like a boss" meme needs to be drowned in a river.
 
2013-05-25 04:10:56 PM
I'd probably hire someone with the gumption to write something amusing like that.

Far better than the wheedling nob-polishing normally expected.
 
2013-05-25 04:11:58 PM
What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!
 
2013-05-25 04:14:23 PM

NewportBarGuy: Desired Wage: "minimum"

There ya go! Good for you!


Who knew?  And all this time I've been putting "Maximum Wage".  Duh!
 
2013-05-25 04:17:12 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh: I'd probably hire someone with the gumption to write something amusing like that.

Far better than the wheedling nob-polishing normally expected.


Me too.

Face it, the stakes are not high. You need a dependable person with a pulse who can figure out how to make assembly line imitation food.

The LOLs are a bonus.
 
2013-05-25 04:23:45 PM
If we all band together, we can stop Huffpo from autoplaying videos.
 
2013-05-25 04:29:44 PM

jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.


It's a stronger effort than many I have dealt with over the years.

"Can I put you down as a job contact".
"Sure, just fill this application out, and I'll give you my card".
"Uh, OK.  I'll fill it out and bring it back".
Never see them again.
 
2013-05-25 04:30:04 PM
Can we all work there?
 
2013-05-25 04:36:07 PM

redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!


I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.
 
2013-05-25 04:51:46 PM

Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.


Did they mean 'college prep' or 'vocational'?
 
2013-05-25 04:51:49 PM

algrant33: BarkingUnicorn: I'd consider hiring that application for the entertainment value. OTOH, he/she might be overqualified; obviously spent a fortune on a liberal arts degree.

And didn't pick up writing skills?? Really? Look at that penmanshiat.

My money says high school sophomore.


Penmanship is part of a liberal arts  curriculum?  Anyhow, it's a Taco Bell, not a calligraphy studio.
 
2013-05-25 04:51:52 PM
stolen from insanity wolf:

q: where do you see yourself in 10 years
a: sitting at your deck, farking your wife, wearing your face stapled over mine
 
2013-05-25 04:54:01 PM

redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!


If you have the determination to fill out the entire application correctly and without looking stupid, you have the determination to go through eight hours a day of bullshiat for a few years.
 
2013-05-25 04:56:03 PM

algrant33: And didn't pick up writing skills?? Really? Look at that penmanshiat.


To the contrary, the thought process and storytelling suggests potential. Meanwhile guy's handwriting has been mediocre at all grade levels for a few decades.
 
2013-05-25 04:57:21 PM

Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.


The app may have been very old, from a time when enginneering jobs required only a HS education.  Or it may have been designed for both college-educated and HS-educated positions and applicants.

What's stupid is walking away from an opportunity when all you had to do was leave that space blank.  If it wasn't significant, the reader wouldn't care.
 
2013-05-25 05:01:02 PM
Young people's impatience with paper forms that are not custom-tailored to them arises from marketers' efforts to "personalize the online experience."  Kids do not realize that tangible life doesn't work that way.  Your chair will never be perfectly comfortable and your stapler will rarely be your favorite color.
 
2013-05-25 05:13:33 PM

Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.


If you can't figure out "n/a", I don't want to ever be near anything you design.
 
2013-05-25 05:14:05 PM
In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.
 
2013-05-25 05:14:30 PM
The best answer I ever encountered from a job applicant.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY PLEASE CALL: 911, unless I am bleeding real bad then for gods sakes see if there is a doctor in the house.

I hired the kid
 
2013-05-25 05:17:56 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh: I'd probably hire someone with the gumption to write something amusing like that.



Beware the gumption trap.
 
2013-05-25 05:18:52 PM

Glendale: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Sure, but what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?" That's just inviting smartass responses.


exactly..
"well, I finally escaped from the dungeon where i'd been the unwilling sex slave of a 300 pound Samoan woman since I was the age of 3, when I glanced up and saw 2 words I'd never seen: 'Taco Bell'. The people working inside allowed me to suck sour cream from a caulk gun and then told me to piss off. This is all I aspire to be"
 
2013-05-25 05:29:51 PM
I once filled out a job application, and under "Former Employment" I put "Bermuda Triangle Search and Rescue Team, 4 years (1987-1954).

They called me back for an interview.
 
2013-05-25 05:38:25 PM
True story:  On a job application I found, "Do you have a drinking problem?"  Replied, "Only when I can't get a drink" and was offered the job.
 
2013-05-25 05:39:40 PM

The_Original_Roxtar: Glendale: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Sure, but what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?" That's just inviting smartass responses.

exactly..
"well, I finally escaped from the dungeon where i'd been the unwilling sex slave of a 300 pound Samoan woman since I was the age of 3, when I glanced up and saw 2 words I'd never seen: 'Taco Bell'. The people working inside allowed me to suck sour cream from a caulk gun and then told me to piss off. This is all I aspire to be"


"I found out later that wasn't a caulk gun, at least from a spelling perspective. And, it wasn't sour cream."
 
2013-05-25 05:40:54 PM

BarkingUnicorn: I'd consider hiring that application for the entertainment value. OTOH, he/she might be overqualified; obviously spent a fortune on a liberal arts degree.


davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.


I used to put strange information on applications for food service or retail jobs and it usually got me hired. When it's a business with a relatively small local staff, you can often hand the application to the manager in person and sell yourself. If you come across as charming and unhinged but still marginally competent for the job, you can get hired just for the fun of having you around.

CSB: I once applied for a pizza delivery job and claimed to be an expert in phrenology who lacked credentials due to the absence of institutions providing accreditation for the field. I got the job.
 
2013-05-25 05:44:28 PM

REO-Weedwagon: This "like a boss" meme needs to be drowned in a river.


And 'like a beast' too please.
 
2013-05-25 05:44:58 PM

REO-Weedwagon: This "like a boss" meme needs to be drowned in a river.


...or a flooded street
 
2013-05-25 05:47:21 PM

davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.


Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.
 
2013-05-25 05:50:51 PM

jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.


This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.
 
2013-05-25 05:58:46 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.

The app may have been very old, from a time when enginneering jobs required only a HS education.  Or it may have been designed for both college-educated and HS-educated positions and applicants.

What's stupid is walking away from an opportunity when all you had to do was leave that space blank.  If it wasn't significant, the reader wouldn't care.


I wouldn't say the engineering job was HS educated position... that educational level position job would have been "draftsman" back in the day. Back when there were actually vocational educational programs available and "draftsman" would have been a course offered in the vocational programs, that could allow a person to either get a decent job out of high school, or use it as a precursor to seeking an engineering degree..
 
2013-05-25 06:00:25 PM

red5ish: From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.


Reddit produces original material? Huh. I always assumed it was "Actual source to who the fark cares where you heard it first, you idiot."
 
2013-05-25 06:05:48 PM

Smackledorfer: davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.

Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.


OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.
 
2013-05-25 06:08:22 PM

I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.



You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.
 
2013-05-25 06:08:41 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: ...

OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.


And do  you enjoy eating the layer of spittle (or worse) your request produces?
 
2013-05-25 06:09:35 PM

gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.


when my now Ex-wife was rolling the unemployment thing, all she had to do was provide the names of places she applied too, but she never had to provide proof that she actually applied to anything...

Another big reason she is now an EX, she never actually made any real effort to get a job, just the effort to keep the benefits rolling in,

but I digress.... anecdotal evidence. far as I can tell, you don't actually need to fill these damn things out anymore if you are just trying to roll the bennie's....
 
2013-05-25 06:17:35 PM

Cerebral Knievel: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

when my now Ex-wife was rolling the unemployment thing, all she had to do was provide the names of places she applied too, but she never had to provide proof that she actually applied to anything...

Another big reason she is now an EX, she never actually made any real effort to get a job, just the effort to keep the benefits rolling in,

but I digress.... anecdotal evidence. far as I can tell, you don't actually need to fill these damn things out anymore if you are just trying to roll the bennie's....


I was on unemployment for six months, just had to press "1" to indicate that I was looking for work that week once a week. But leave it to the right to assume this is a "taker" that didn't want the job. I work with a couple tea party members. It must really suck to live through life assuming everyone is trying to cheat the system and take money directly out of their pockets. They are so angry so often.

/turned down a couple minimum wage offers because it was about the same as the unemployment benefits and would have filled my time with meaningless work instead of looking for a job.
 
2013-05-25 06:18:25 PM
David Thorne has ruined humor for the rest of the farktards who think they're funny.

/You BETTER know who David Thorne is, or you deserve to have your Ethernet cords ripped from your house.
 
2013-05-25 06:27:13 PM

Smackledorfer: davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.

Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.


I only did that to asshole regulars.  (Like, people who would eat 90% of thier meal, then complain it wasn't made right and demand a refund.  And they'd do this more than once.)

There's no reason a burrito can't be wrapped properly.  It's really, really easy.
 
2013-05-25 06:33:12 PM

jst3p: Cerebral Knievel: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

when my now Ex-wife was rolling the unemployment thing, all she had to do was provide the names of places she applied too, but she never had to provide proof that she actually applied to anything...

Another big reason she is now an EX, she never actually made any real effort to get a job, just the effort to keep the benefits rolling in,

but I digress.... anecdotal evidence. far as I can tell, you don't actually need to fill these damn things out anymore if you are just trying to roll the bennie's....

I was on unemployment for six months, just had to press "1" to indicate that I was looking for work that week once a week. But leave it to the right to assume this is a "taker" that didn't want the job. I work with a couple tea party members. It must really suck to live through life assuming everyone is trying to cheat the system and take money directly out of their pockets. They are so angry so often.

/turned down a couple minimum wage offers because it was about the same as the unemployment benefits and would have filled my time with meaningless work instead of looking for a job.


I am neither of the right, nor a farking deadbeat tax evading teabagger. I was offering ancedotal evidence of that you don't need to provide proof that you are actually looking for employment as evidenced by the actions of my dead beat ex-wife.

as soon as I finally kicked her ass out, for that, and a lot of other shiat I really don't want to get into, she miraculously found a job and transportation within a week.,

If you were not trying to attack me as a teabagger for making assumptions of deadbeats, I apologize to you, or anyone else that may have come to such a conclusion by my comments regarding my Ex wife.
 
2013-05-25 06:36:07 PM

Cerebral Knievel: jst3p: Cerebral Knievel: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

when my now Ex-wife was rolling the unemployment thing, all she had to do was provide the names of places she applied too, but she never had to provide proof that she actually applied to anything...

Another big reason she is now an EX, she never actually made any real effort to get a job, just the effort to keep the benefits rolling in,

but I digress.... anecdotal evidence. far as I can tell, you don't actually need to fill these damn things out anymore if you are just trying to roll the bennie's....

I was on unemployment for six months, just had to press "1" to indicate that I was looking for work that week once a week. But leave it to the right to assume this is a "taker" that didn't want the job. I work with a couple tea party members. It must really suck to live through life assuming everyone is trying to cheat the system and take money directly out of their pockets. They are so angry so often.

/turned down a couple minimum wage offers because it was about the same as the unemployment benefits and would have filled my time with meaningless work instead of looking for a job.

I am neither of the right, nor a farking deadbeat tax evading teabagger. I was offering ancedotal evidence of that you don't need to provide proof that you are actually looking for employment as evidenced by the actions of my dead beat ex-wife.

as soon as I finally kicked her ass out, for that, and a lot of other shiat I really don't want to get into, she miraculously found a job and transportation within a week.,

If you were not trying to attack me as a teabagger for making assumptions of deadbeats, I apologize to you, or anyone else that may have come to such a conclusion by my comments regarding my Ex wife.


I was talking about jehovas witness protection.
 
2013-05-25 06:38:19 PM

Glendale: what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?"


The kind that helps you allocate your advertising budget.
 
2013-05-25 06:43:07 PM

gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.


According to the BLS, about half of minimum wage jobs are held by persons over age 25.
 
2013-05-25 06:44:18 PM
Looks like some moronic, unfunny redditor is trying to get a job.
 
2013-05-25 06:44:48 PM

jst3p: You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.


In their copious spare time.
 
2013-05-25 06:45:16 PM
Surprised the old McDonald's application hasn't been posted yet.
I think it's older than the internet.

content.bored.com
 
2013-05-25 06:46:04 PM

MelGoesOnTour: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 231x245]

Judith Light.  Not the best pic of her but you get the idea.  And, yes, she's still MILFy.


Yes. Hell yes.
 
2013-05-25 06:48:25 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Glendale: what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?"

The kind that helps you allocate your advertising budget.


I guess, but my answer would probably be "the Taco Bell sign is visible from the street".
 
2013-05-25 06:51:54 PM

jst3p: I was talking about jehovas witness protection.



oh.. okay... sorry again.. I get on edge about these things sometimes...
 
2013-05-25 06:52:26 PM

Cerebral Knievel: jst3p: I was talking about jehovas witness protection.


oh.. okay... sorry again.. I get on edge about these things sometimes...


no sweat
 
2013-05-25 06:54:09 PM

gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.


Sorry, friend.  You are demonstrably mistaken with regard to the age of fast food workers.

Across the country, the median age of fast-food workers is over 28, and women -- who make up two-thirds of the industry -- are over 32, according to the BLS.
 
2013-05-25 06:54:11 PM

Glendale: BarkingUnicorn: Glendale: what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?"

The kind that helps you allocate your advertising budget.

I guess, but my answer would probably be "the Taco Bell sign is visible from the street".


That tells me the signs are big enough.
 
2013-05-25 07:04:50 PM

REO-Weedwagon: This "like a boss" meme needs to be drowned in a river.


Drowned like a boss.
 
2013-05-25 07:09:36 PM
I thought that it would be way more BOSS than it was. Cute, but not worthy of the BOSS moniker.
 
2013-05-25 07:10:46 PM

the_chief: If we all band together, we can stop Huffpo from autoplaying videos.


Simple browser extensions can stop that. Google is your friend, find one.

Also, never click a UK link; but if you haven't figured that out by now then there are bigger problems.
 
2013-05-25 07:12:12 PM

gimmegimme: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

Sorry, friend.  You are demonstrably mistaken with regard to the age of fast food workers.

Across the country, the median age of fast-food workers is over 28, and women -- who make up two-thirds of the industry -- are over 32, according to the BLS.


Fark, I'm 32, that's literally like if everyone I knew in high school that worked in fast food back then was still in that job today. When did fast food become a career?
 
2013-05-25 07:12:42 PM

Glendale: gimmegimme: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

Sorry, friend.  You are demonstrably mistaken with regard to the age of fast food workers.

Across the country, the median age of fast-food workers is over 28, and women -- who make up two-thirds of the industry -- are over 32, according to the BLS.

Fark, I'm 32, that's literally like if everyone I knew in high school that worked in fast food back then was still in that job today. When did fast food become a career?


Since the Republicans broke the back of the middle class in the 1980s.
 
2013-05-25 07:13:04 PM
I screen job applications at work.  Usually tedious, occasionally hilarious, but

SBinRR: Surprised the old McDonald's application hasn't been posted yet.
I think it's older than the internet.

[content.bored.com image 850x1032]


nothing on that caliber.  I don't care if it's fake, I love it.
 
2013-05-25 07:14:00 PM

jst3p: I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.


You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.


I'm one of those IT guys.  We don't do what people think we do.  Why?  Because we know that upper management can easily fire and replace someone who knows how to run a network and fix PEBCAK errors.  They're more hesitant to replace some paper-pushing professional staffer with a graduate education, that they play pickup basketball games with on the weekend, and who babysits their kids.
 
2013-05-25 07:18:00 PM

gimmegimme: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

Sorry, friend.  You are demonstrably mistaken with regard to the age of fast food workers.

Across the country, the median age of fast-food workers is over 28, and women -- who make up two-thirds of the industry -- are over 32, according to the BLS.


Yep.. that is another point.. there was a time and place when jobs like that where traditionally held by teenagers, but that time is long gone... also.. remember when paperboys where kids on bikes at 5 am?  that job is now mostly held by 60+ year old retirees.., or.. y'know.. the same people who actually read newspapers nowadays  HEYO!!!! {S rimshot

jst3p: Cerebral Knievel: jst3p: I was talking about jehovas witness protection.


oh.. okay... sorry again.. I get on edge about these things sometimes...

no sweat


word..

internet fist bump


I don't know if I have much room to talk, or.. I have lots of advice to give.. the longest time I was ever unemployed... ever.. was about 6 months.. back in the late 90's.. never collected benefits.. I was out of work for that long because it was a weird situation that got me there, and I was depressed for that amount of time after the strange situation. got back to work.. and have switched careers twice since with my longest period of unemployment during that time was less than 24 hours.. I've been with my current job for about 15 years now..  and I know if shiat went south over night, I have about 10 options available to me in my field, or related..
And I do not have a formal education... everything I have ever done has been vocational / manufacturing in nature..

now granted.. I work in the craft brewing industry, and have done so for the past 15 years, am known, and I like to think respected, amongst my peers


what I'm trying to say over all is that when I grow up.. I want to be a consultant..
 
2013-05-25 07:22:54 PM

red5ish: From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.

WTF.


First saw this on imgur....same with a bunch of stories from 'news sites'.
 
2013-05-25 07:23:33 PM

HotWingAgenda: jst3p: I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.


You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.

I'm one of those IT guys.  We don't do what people think we do.  Why?  Because we know that upper management can easily fire and replace someone who knows how to run a network and fix PEBCAK errors.  They're more hesitant to replace some paper-pushing professional staffer with a graduate education, that they play pickup basketball games with on the weekend, and who babysits their kids.


It depends on the size of the company, but some of us assuredly do.
 
2013-05-25 07:24:45 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.

The app may have been very old, from a time when enginneering jobs required only a HS education.  Or it may have been designed for both college-educated and HS-educated positions and applicants.

What's stupid is walking away from an opportunity when all you had to do was leave that space blank.  If it wasn't significant, the reader wouldn't care.


The HR drone would put it aside since it was incomplete. Remember they want to show that they are a vital asset by keeping the low life applicants out.

It's a reason that they ask dumb questions that don't involve any aspect of the job and pick the ones that entertain them the most
 
2013-05-25 07:37:39 PM

drake113: I once filled out a job application, and under "Former Employment" I put "Bermuda Triangle Search and Rescue Team, 4 years (1987-1954).

They called me back for an interview.


I'm gonna have to steal that one.
 
2013-05-25 07:46:32 PM

drake113: I once filled out a job application, and under "Former Employment" I put "Bermuda Triangle Search and Rescue Team, 4 years (1987-1954).

They called me back for an interview.


Your jib...I happen to like the cut of it.
 
2013-05-25 07:49:35 PM

jst3p: I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.


You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.


I'm also applying for google, got any tips?
 
2013-05-25 07:56:24 PM

BumpInTheNight: jst3p: I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.


You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.

I'm also applying for google, got any tips?


Don't plan on having a life outside of work, but a few year there is good for the resume.
 
2013-05-25 07:59:56 PM
This thread is depressing, because I'm a nobody looking for enough work just to earn some money and move to a larger city with more work and technical classes (welding). It is difficult to wear a facade of pretending that I have any interest in a given corporation when all I really want is enough pecuniary mores to get by, since I can barely afford the basics right now and could wind up homeless with one financial emergency. I also pretend that the emotional fatigue has no bearing on me, but in truth, it takes a damn force of will to keep up the effort to convince a manager that I'm worth hiring. I look around and feel at times that I am the only person struggling not to get ahead, but just to stay afloat, though I know that I am not. While I try not to be ungrateful for any work since having work is a sacred thing, simply knowing that the work for which I apply is meaningless, dead-end, superficial, shallow, and fit only for social nobodies such as I is disheartening.

/Rant over. Sorry, had to vent steam somewhere
 
2013-05-25 08:03:47 PM
You have to wonder if some of these are just someone meeting unemployment job application quotas..
 
2013-05-25 08:04:08 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: This thread is depressing, because I'm a nobody looking for enough work just to earn some money and move to a larger city with more work and technical classes (welding). It is difficult to wear a facade of pretending that I have any interest in a given corporation when all I really want is enough pecuniary mores to get by, since I can barely afford the basics right now and could wind up homeless with one financial emergency. I also pretend that the emotional fatigue has no bearing on me, but in truth, it takes a damn force of will to keep up the effort to convince a manager that I'm worth hiring. I look around and feel at times that I am the only person struggling not to get ahead, but just to stay afloat, though I know that I am not. While I try not to be ungrateful for any work since having work is a sacred thing, simply knowing that the work for which I apply is meaningless, dead-end, superficial, shallow, and fit only for social nobodies such as I is disheartening.

/Rant over. Sorry, had to vent steam somewhere


You should write shill online reviews for extra cash.
 
2013-05-25 08:08:17 PM

IamTomJoad: The best answer I ever encountered from a job applicant.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY PLEASE CALL: 911, unless I am bleeding real bad then for gods sakes see if there is a doctor in the house.

I hired the kid


*snerk*
Don't blame you...kid has a grasp of reality.
 
2013-05-25 08:18:37 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: This thread is depressing, because I'm a nobody looking for enough work just to earn some money and move to a larger city with more work and technical classes (welding). It is difficult to wear a facade of pretending that I have any interest in a given corporation when all I really want is enough pecuniary mores to get by, since I can barely afford the basics right now and could wind up homeless with one financial emergency. I also pretend that the emotional fatigue has no bearing on me, but in truth, it takes a damn force of will to keep up the effort to convince a manager that I'm worth hiring. I look around and feel at times that I am the only person struggling not to get ahead, but just to stay afloat, though I know that I am not. While I try not to be ungrateful for any work since having work is a sacred thing, simply knowing that the work for which I apply is meaningless, dead-end, superficial, shallow, and fit only for social nobodies such as I is disheartening.

/Rant over. Sorry, had to vent steam somewhere


You're not the only one who has felt or does feel that way.  If you gotta vent, by all means, vent.

But if you can, try to do *something* outside of the disheartening job search that you give a damn about.  If it's something you could eventually make a few dollars or a few decent connections out of, even better.

[internethug.jpg]

/because my GIS isn't working now
//seriously, WTF
 
2013-05-25 08:19:20 PM

HotWingAgenda: I'm one of those IT guys. We don't do what people think we do. Why?


Heh, I was one for 12 years. Why?  'Cause we really don't give a shiat who the cow-orkers are screwing. 'You all' aren't that interesting.

[csb] The network assistant flagged me over one day, mentioned that the admin changed the email server password (routine 6 month thing). Within two hours of having done so, the CEO took him aside and told him not to do that. (!) [/csb]
 
2013-05-25 08:23:25 PM

allauthors: FuryOfFirestorm: ...

OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.

And do  you enjoy eating the layer of spittle (or worse) your request produces?


Indeed. It makes it taste so much better! Thanks for asking!
 
2013-05-25 08:29:12 PM
There was a time when being overqualified for such a position was a negative because you'd just stop showing up once you got work at a real job.
 
2013-05-25 08:33:03 PM

MelGoesOnTour: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 231x245]

Judith Light.  Not the best pic of her but you get the idea.  And, yes, she's still MILFy.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-25 08:40:41 PM
I was expecting so much more. That was pretty lame.
 
2013-05-25 08:41:36 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: Smackledorfer: davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.

Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.

OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.


I try to never be high maintenance; I don't want them to spit in my food.
 
2013-05-25 08:43:59 PM

Big_Doofus: I was expecting so much more. That was pretty lame.


That article was totally unnecessary.  All you really need to know when filling out an application for a job at Taco Bell is not to mention $2 bills.
 
2013-05-25 08:45:32 PM

gimmegimme: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

Sorry, friend.  You are demonstrably mistaken with regard to the age of fast food workers.

Across the country, the median age of fast-food workers is over 28, and women -- who make up two-thirds of the industry -- are over 32, according to the BLS.


Haha, surely if this were true, then these people would be paid a living wage, right?  After all, every time people talk about raising the minimum wage, we're told that only kids hold minimum wage jobs, right?

/ my Weeners was a bit of a troll.
 
2013-05-25 08:46:23 PM

MelGoesOnTour: Elegy: This is what passes for "like a boss?"

Kids these days.

Who's the Boss?

/yep, that gal who starred in it was quite wood-worthy back in the day.
//and, yep, I can still get a boner thinking about Dorothy Stratton,
///get offa my, er, whatever-it's-called


HufPo is the Fark bible of record.
 
2013-05-25 08:51:18 PM
StreetlightInTheGhetto:

Thank you for the sympathy, yet my aegis requires college education, which is far to grave a financial pitfall to be worth the risk of not being able to pay back the loan. I have abandoned that endeavor, unless I could afford it out of pocket. Most other ambitions these days require one to be licensed, bonded, insured, with previous experience and rapport; without these credentials, an individual is considered a nobody worthy only of the most insignificant work. Any dreams of doing something 'transcendental' or 'world-changing' are ill harbored with slim odds of being met without significant pelf, and most business pursuits are superficial with a desire only for profit. It was foolhardy to ever consider doing anything worthwhile--few people have the means to do so. There is nothing new under the sun, the works of one person are oft forgotten within several generations, and all is vanity. If I could just do some honest work and earn a decent living, maybe become self-employed, it would be enough.
 
2013-05-25 08:58:17 PM

The Southern Dandy: NewportBarGuy: Desired Wage: "minimum"

There ya go! Good for you!

Who knew?  And all this time I've been putting "Maximum Wage".  Duh!


It can sometimes get confusing because "minimum wage" and "maximum penetration" can often mean the same thing.

/I'm kidding! Having no minimum wage or getting paid less than minimum wage is closer to maximum penetration.
 
2013-05-25 09:04:36 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: Smackledorfer: davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.

Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.

OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.


If you make that request, I can virtually guarantee you are eating 8 or 9 layer burritos.
 
2013-05-25 09:13:28 PM

jst3p: BumpInTheNight: jst3p: I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.


You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.

I'm also applying for google, got any tips?

Don't plan on having a life outside of work, but a few year there is good for the resume.


Right on, thanks!  Figure once I can replace my @aol.com address with a gmail one the world is my oyster!
 
2013-05-25 09:17:43 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: StreetlightInTheGhetto:

Thank you for the sympathy, yet my aegis requires college education, which is far to grave a financial pitfall to be worth the risk of not being able to pay back the loan. I have abandoned that endeavor, unless I could afford it out of pocket. Most other ambitions these days require one to be licensed, bonded, insured, with previous experience and rapport; without these credentials, an individual is considered a nobody worthy only of the most insignificant work. Any dreams of doing something 'transcendental' or 'world-changing' are ill harbored with slim odds of being met without significant pelf, and most business pursuits are superficial with a desire only for profit. It was foolhardy to ever consider doing anything worthwhile--few people have the means to do so. There is nothing new under the sun, the works of one person are oft forgotten within several generations, and all is vanity. If I could just do some honest work and earn a decent living, maybe become self-employed, it would be enough.


you are trying to be a welder right?  and you live in arkansas?
 
2013-05-25 09:23:02 PM

Cerebral Knievel: and you live in arkansas?


Temporarily. Texas would prolly be the better option
 
2013-05-25 09:27:32 PM
Taco Bell probably won't improve until they're victorious in the franchise wars.
 
2013-05-25 09:28:33 PM

jst3p: I was on unemployment for six months, just had to press "1" to indicate that I was looking for work that week once a week. But leave it to the right to assume this is a "taker" that didn't want the job. I work with a couple tea party members. It must really suck to live through life assuming everyone is trying to cheat the system and take money directly out of their pockets. They are so angry so often.

/turned down a couple minimum wage offers because it was about the same as the unemployment benefits and would have filled my time with meaningless work instead of looking for a job.


Around here it was apply for 3, at least one of which had to be in person.  They wanted info on who I applied to.  At least I didn't have to bother with minimum wage junk--I wasn't expected to take anything that paid less than unemployment.  The in-person requirement was annoying as no job I would be interested in would be an in-person application.

Somaticasual: You have to wonder if some of these are just someone meeting unemployment job application quotas..


I doubt it.  If they checked up on it (and why else ask for where you applied other than to do spot-checking?) and saw what people used in an application...
 
2013-05-25 09:30:02 PM

Elegy: This is what passes for "like a boss?"


Maybe it's like in the 1980s when "bad" meant "good" in American slang.
 
2013-05-25 09:37:09 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: Cerebral Knievel: and you live in arkansas?

Temporarily. Texas would prolly be the better option


gonna say.. if you can weld, you should be able to get something, anywhere, even entry level, and work up from there.. there are too many assholes in this world trying to, and expecting to get rich sitting in a cubicle.. the world needs folks that can take two pieces of metal and put them together.. I work in the beer industry, and I can tell you for certain that the industry needs folks that can work with stainless steel and be able to perform sanitary welds.
You can make a shiatload of money with your skills, but you do have to build them up and you gotta start low and work up.. and if you are stuck where you are because no one is hiring, it seems like they are not Hiring YOU.. good ole boy shiat happens..  even if you are not certified, try to weld whatever the hell you  can... mufflers, stair wells etc general mechanical work... learn yourself to work decorative wrought iron...  but above all, get the fark our of Arkansas and get to where there is some work. take whatever work you can get to get to where there is better work and opportunities.

invest in yourself and your abilities.. and a good blue collar skilled individual will go far..if you can weld now, then you have a skill that 98% of the population does not have, and it is marketable..

other than some advice.. Have a month of TF as a gift from one blue collar guy to another..
 
2013-05-25 09:42:47 PM

Ehcks: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

If you have the determination to fill out the entire application correctly and without looking stupid, you have the determination to go through eight hours a day of bullshiat for a few years.


It's almost as if time consumed by the overall process MUST remain the same.  All that time you saved by not having to physically drive to the store, ask for an application, fill it out in pen, and then drive home (not to mention putting pants on) has to be accounted for SOMEhow, so they made the form longer.
 
2013-05-25 09:43:31 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: FuryOfFirestorm: Smackledorfer: davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.

Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.

OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.

If you make that request, I can virtually guarantee you are eating 8 or 9 layer burritos.


At the place I managed we (at least, I) took that as we weren't doing a good enough job for our regulars.  Even in fast food, that's something to remember.

Granted, it wasn't a chain, just a local mom and pop taco and subs place, but criticism was powerful feedback to us.
 
2013-05-25 09:44:09 PM

Cerebral Knievel: invest in yourself and your abilities.. and a good blue collar skilled individual will go far..if you can weld now, then you have a skill that 98% of the population does not have, and it is marketable..


Hey, thanks! I'll take your advice, and if can't find work, I'll be content as the resident hobo of Total Fark. Thanks for the motivation, think I'm close to depression again.

/Truly sorry for this AW moment
 
2013-05-25 09:52:04 PM
How to fill out that Taco Bell job application like a BOSS

Step 1.a. Eat at Taco Bell.
Step 1.b. Wait 10 2 minutes then go to toilet with application form in your hand
Step 2. ???
Step 3. PROFIT! MUHAHA!
 
2013-05-25 09:55:00 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: Hey, thanks! I'll take your advice, and if can't find work, I'll be content as the resident hobo of Total Fark. Thanks for the motivation, think I'm close to depression again.


Wanting to move to where you can get work, or training for work, is not a bad idea.  Check with the unions if you're serious about getting training.  I've had a few friends who found apprenticeship deals through unions where they didn't need a lot of up front cash to get a job, but it might be in a very remote location for a year.  If you're willing to do that, start scouring union sites.
 
2013-05-25 09:57:03 PM
Oh look, another viral application from somebody who will probably never hold a job.
 
2013-05-25 10:01:12 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: Cerebral Knievel: invest in yourself and your abilities.. and a good blue collar skilled individual will go far..if you can weld now, then you have a skill that 98% of the population does not have, and it is marketable..

Hey, thanks! I'll take your advice, and if can't find work, I'll be content as the resident hobo of Total Fark. Thanks for the motivation, think I'm close to depression again.

/Truly sorry for this AW moment


I didn't think you were being an AW at all, and enjoy the TF... doesn't meen much in the long run.. most of the folks over in TFD are a bunch of whining twits, but you get to see and comment on all the submissions if they are green-lit or not.. and if you like LOLcats,, well.. the caterday thread starts on wendsdays...

other than that.. an act of kindness from the blue.. enjoy yourself, and get over that depression shiat.. you got a marketable skill, use it.. and the next time you go out looking for a gig.. take the gig.. go in there knowing that it is yours and present yourself as such. use them for all they are worth, and move forward.. I know welders that are not really doing anything special commanding $20k and up for a single job.

this country needs folks that can work with their hands, and their backs because so few are willing to nowadays.
 
2013-05-25 10:05:24 PM

Cerebral Knievel: this country needs folks that can work with their hands, and their backs because so few are willing to nowadays.


Exactly this. Also, TF is a fun toy for submitting headlines--let's you see if it gets any comments or votes, as well as the exact time it will appear on the main page if it is approved
 
2013-05-25 10:06:38 PM

Cerebral Knievel: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

when my now Ex-wife was rolling the unemployment thing, all she had to do was provide the names of places she applied too, but she never had to provide proof that she actually applied to anything...

Another big reason she is now an EX, she never actually made any real effort to get a job, just the effort to keep the benefits rolling in,

but I digress.... anecdotal evidence. far as I can tell, you don't actually need to fill these damn things out anymore if you are just trying to roll the bennie's....


So you have no personal experience with being on unemployment, you just want to feel better than people who need it because hurr durr ex wife. Good for you.
 
2013-05-25 10:27:07 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: Cerebral Knievel: this country needs folks that can work with their hands, and their backs because so few are willing to nowadays.

Exactly this. Also, TF is a fun toy for submitting headlines--let's you see if it gets any comments or votes, as well as the exact time it will appear on the main page if it is approved


I like to submit train-wreck TFD threads despite not having TF, its my contribution to that wonderful & open community.
 
2013-05-25 10:30:40 PM

show me: I was all like "oh, this has got to be great"

Read the article and I was all like "meh"


That was me, too!  But then I was like, well, at least I'll get a chuckle out of some of the other ones, but there was no next button.  I found myself in a fark thread about "here's one purposly flucked up TB application"
 
2013-05-25 10:33:55 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: StreetlightInTheGhetto:

Thank you for the sympathy, yet my aegis requires college education, which is far to grave a financial pitfall to be worth the risk of not being able to pay back the loan. I have abandoned that endeavor, unless I could afford it out of pocket. Most other ambitions these days require one to be licensed, bonded, insured, with previous experience and rapport; without these credentials, an individual is considered a nobody worthy only of the most insignificant work. Any dreams of doing something 'transcendental' or 'world-changing' are ill harbored with slim odds of being met without significant pelf, and most business pursuits are superficial with a desire only for profit. It was foolhardy to ever consider doing anything worthwhile--few people have the means to do so. There is nothing new under the sun, the works of one person are oft forgotten within several generations, and all is vanity. If I could just do some honest work and earn a decent living, maybe become self-employed, it would be enough.


Goddamn, yo.  I'm a pretty cynical person myself but you're putting me in my place.  I'm not mad, I'm just impressed.

Look: even community colleges offer degrees in technical fields.  The community college by me has a kickass ladies' welding club, and I'm not in THAT large of a city.  Or maybe just risk the loan, either at the community college level or even a bit more somewhere else.  It's not like you'd be the first in this country to do so.  Or find a hobby group to learn skills.  Find a union that has apprenticeship programs (yes, they still exist; yes, you might have to be nice and politely persistent and develop some good relationships) (what I've come to understand from my uncles, who've taken on apprentices, and my cousin, who was one and is now gainfully employed).

Yeah, few people do anything history-book-altering-worthwhile.  That doesn't mean that you should resign yourself to a McJob if you can help it.
 
2013-05-25 10:37:11 PM

Cerebral Knievel: Skywolf the Scribbler: Cerebral Knievel: and you live in arkansas?

Temporarily. Texas would prolly be the better option

gonna say.. if you can weld, you should be able to get something, anywhere, even entry level, and work up from there.. there are too many assholes in this world trying to, and expecting to get rich sitting in a cubicle.. the world needs folks that can take two pieces of metal and put them together.. I work in the beer industry, and I can tell you for certain that the industry needs folks that can work with stainless steel and be able to perform sanitary welds.
You can make a shiatload of money with your skills, but you do have to build them up and you gotta start low and work up.. and if you are stuck where you are because no one is hiring, it seems like they are not Hiring YOU.. good ole boy shiat happens..  even if you are not certified, try to weld whatever the hell you  can... mufflers, stair wells etc general mechanical work... learn yourself to work decorative wrought iron...  but above all, get the fark our of Arkansas and get to where there is some work. take whatever work you can get to get to where there is better work and opportunities.

invest in yourself and your abilities.. and a good blue collar skilled individual will go far..if you can weld now, then you have a skill that 98% of the population does not have, and it is marketable..

other than some advice.. Have a month of TF as a gift from one blue collar guy to another..


Eh, you said things better than I.

/kinda buzzed myself
 
2013-05-25 10:43:55 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.

The app may have been very old, from a time when enginneering jobs required only a HS education.  Or it may have been designed for both college-educated and HS-educated positions and applicants.

What's stupid is walking away from an opportunity when all you had to do was leave that space blank.  If it wasn't significant, the reader wouldn't care.


Online application, can't leave anything blank. I was ten pages into re-entering everything on the resume that I had already successfully uploaded and seen parsed correctly by their system. If the paperwork is how they do business, I don't want to contribute to their business.
 
2013-05-25 10:51:03 PM

HotWingAgenda: jst3p: I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.


You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.

I'm one of those IT guys.  We don't do what people think we do.  Why?  Because we know that upper management can easily fire and replace someone who knows how to run a network and fix PEBCAK errors.  They're more hesitant to replace some paper-pushing professional staffer with a graduate education, that they play pickup basketball games with on the weekend, and who babysits their kids.


I used to be one of those IT guys, and we never had the time nor the inclination to rifle through people's stuff.  What the hell are you doing all day?

One of the best systems I ever had to run was an old Groupwise mail cluster.  Not because Groupwise was teh awesome, but because it was explicitly designed so no one could read a user's mail but the user.  All of the mail was encrypted and without a user's password, you couldn't access it without a third-party utility.  It used to give our legal team fits, but it was great if anyone accused us of rifling through their mail.  It didn't help that we had to fire a unix admin who WAS reading users' mail on a SunOne system.

But who the hell wants to go through some user's home folder?  Not only is it a fireable offense at most companies, but what's the point?
 
2013-05-25 11:26:08 PM

Walter Paisley: The Southern Dandy: NewportBarGuy: Desired Wage: "minimum"

There ya go! Good for you!

Who knew?  And all this time I've been putting "Maximum Wage".  Duh!

It can sometimes get confusing because "minimum wage" and "maximum penetration" can often mean the same thing.

/I'm kidding! Having no minimum wage or getting paid less than minimum wage is closer to maximum penetration.


It's just....who the fark, when asked what wage are they're looking for, would answer "the minimum allowed by law" ?

Just give me the meekest pittance the law allows you to pay me, and please only give me the minimum about of time for bathroom breaks during the workday.  Oh, and if you could ensure the job is only as safe as allowed by law, that'd be great.
 
2013-05-26 12:01:25 AM

Lsherm: But who the hell wants to go through some user's home folder? Not only is it a fireable offense at most companies, but what's the point?


Precisely.  My company is so small, I can get more juicy personal info just from standing near two people dishing their guts out to each other in the hallway.
 
2013-05-26 12:12:17 AM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.

If you make that request, I can virtually guarantee you are eating 8 or 9 layer burritos.


Seriously, folks - it's just a simple request. It's not like i'm asking them to clean my house and give me a 3 hour-long blow job. If you can't make a burrito that doesn't have all the sour cream sitting at one end, then you shouldn't even be working at Taco Bell in the first place.

Also, the Taco Bell I go to has the workers assembling the food in full view of the customers (and video cameras), so doing stupid sh*t like that is not a bright idea, unless they like getting fined for food safety violations.
 
2013-05-26 12:48:01 AM

The Southern Dandy: Walter Paisley: The Southern Dandy: NewportBarGuy: Desired Wage: "minimum"

There ya go! Good for you!

Who knew?  And all this time I've been putting "Maximum Wage".  Duh!

It can sometimes get confusing because "minimum wage" and "maximum penetration" can often mean the same thing.

/I'm kidding! Having no minimum wage or getting paid less than minimum wage is closer to maximum penetration.

It's just....who the fark, when asked what wage are they're looking for, would answer "the minimum allowed by law" ?

Just give me the meekest pittance the law allows you to pay me, and please only give me the minimum about of time for bathroom breaks during the workday.  Oh, and if you could ensure the job is only as safe as allowed by law, that'd be great.


I agree with your point, but I think the reason people claim they are seeking minimum wage on an application (especially at a chain fast food restaurant) is that they don't think they will get hired if they want any more than that. With the exception of supervisor positions, their fears are likely justified with chains as some have wage policies that might require even a store GM to get upper management approval to hire above minimum or to give anyone a raise. That, or a GM might not hire above minimum because even tiny increases in labor costs might cause management to lose any chance at a bonus. In short, job applicants expect to be treated poorly because it's become the industry standard.
 
2013-05-26 02:28:42 AM

Skywolf the Scribbler: This thread is depressing, because I'm a nobody looking for enough work just to earn some money and move to a larger city with more work and technical classes (welding). It is difficult to wear a facade of pretending that I have any interest in a given corporation when all I really want is enough pecuniary mores to get by, since I can barely afford the basics right now and could wind up homeless with one financial emergency. I also pretend that the emotional fatigue has no bearing on me, but in truth, it takes a damn force of will to keep up the effort to convince a manager that I'm worth hiring. I look around and feel at times that I am the only person struggling not to get ahead, but just to stay afloat, though I know that I am not. While I try not to be ungrateful for any work since having work is a sacred thing, simply knowing that the work for which I apply is meaningless, dead-end, superficial, shallow, and fit only for social nobodies such as I is disheartening.

/Rant over. Sorry, had to vent steam somewhere


You know, I don't mind working a meaningless job. I don't mind taking a job for which I'm totally overqualified. I don't even mind being underpaid, as long as management understands that I'm being paid to do a drone's work, not to give a damn. What really bothers me is trying to convince some sh*tbag tin despot that I'm really worthy to be let into the exclusive club that is his/her personal fiefdom of minimum wage servitude.
 
2013-05-26 02:49:04 AM

Skywolf the Scribbler: This thread is depressing, because I'm a nobody looking for enough work just to earn some money and move to a larger city with more work and technical classes (welding). It is difficult to wear a facade of pretending that I have any interest in a given corporation when all I really want is enough pecuniary mores to get by, since I can barely afford the basics right now and could wind up homeless with one financial emergency. I also pretend that the emotional fatigue has no bearing on me, but in truth, it takes a damn force of will to keep up the effort to convince a manager that I'm worth hiring. I look around and feel at times that I am the only person struggling not to get ahead, but just to stay afloat, though I know that I am not. While I try not to be ungrateful for any work since having work is a sacred thing, simply knowing that the work for which I apply is meaningless, dead-end, superficial, shallow, and fit only for social nobodies such as I is disheartening.

/Rant over. Sorry, had to vent steam somewhere


I'm at the point in life where if I am applying for a job outside of my future degree (CIS, December), I'm pretty much going to give interview answers like 'look, this position isn't exactly what I want to do long term, I might not stay longer than x amount of time, and I might occasionally be late, but I will show up unless dreadfully ill and I will treat coworkers and/or customers respectfully and try to do a good job. If that's not enough, have a nice day'. The last time I was that honest in an interview, albeit with different answers, I got the job and they were thrilled to have me. The next job after I moved (secretary), I was more conservative, and oh my god it turned out to be the worst job I've ever had, including working at a gas station and mall food court.

So even if you don't get the job, my advice is be respectful but don't bullshiat the hiring person. They get a ton of that and if the job is worth anything, they'll pick the honest people over the boot lickers.
 
2013-05-26 04:40:22 AM

jst3p: I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.


You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.


No one is going through other people's emails and personal files unless they are unprofessional dicks.
 
2013-05-26 08:50:21 AM
redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

Also do you really need a resume for blue collar positions? I mean seriously you have whatever licensing and experience the company requires or you don't, My skills at creative writing should be irrelevant.
 
2013-05-26 08:54:30 AM
Oldiron_79: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

Also do you really need a resume for blue collar positions? I mean seriously you have whatever licensing and experience the company requires or you don't, My skills at creative writing should be irrelevant.


I'm referring to skilled blue collar trades, not like fast food or retail mainly but still.
 
2013-05-26 10:27:54 AM

gimmegimme: Glendale: gimmegimme: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

Sorry, friend.  You are demonstrably mistaken with regard to the age of fast food workers.

Across the country, the median age of fast-food workers is over 28, and women -- who make up two-thirds of the industry -- are over 32, according to the BLS.

Fark, I'm 32, that's literally like if everyone I knew in high school that worked in fast food back then was still in that job today. When did fast food become a career?

Since the Republicans broke the back of the middle class in the 1980s.


Your handle could not be more appropriate. Sallll-oot!
 
2013-05-26 11:00:46 AM

reubendaley: gimmegimme: Glendale: gimmegimme: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

Sorry, friend.  You are demonstrably mistaken with regard to the age of fast food workers.

Across the country, the median age of fast-food workers is over 28, and women -- who make up two-thirds of the industry -- are over 32, according to the BLS.

Fark, I'm 32, that's literally like if everyone I knew in high school that worked in fast food back then was still in that job today. When did fast food become a career?

Since the Republicans broke the back of the middle class in the 1980s.

Your handle could not be more appropriate. Sallll-oot!


That's an odd way of trying to demonstrate that my assertion is incorrect.
 
2013-05-26 12:10:21 PM

Oldiron_79: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

Also do you really need a resume for blue collar positions? I mean seriously you have whatever licensing and experience the company requires or you don't, My skills at creative writing should be irrelevant.


Yep. After being self employed in a now mostly obsolete field for 20 years, I was looking for any kind of job this past year, just to get me through until something permanent came along. Even part-time janitorial jobs wanted the same "where do you see yourself in five years" bullshiat essays. I had a hard time deciding whether to go for the "I see myself as Upper Management material, just looking for an opportunity to demonstrate the benefits that I can bring to your organization" or "After 20 years of making and bearing all responsibility for every decision big or small, I just want to show up, do my thing, and let somebody else drive the bus". And in fact, one part time employer did hire me after mentioning that she was wary of me getting bored or frustrated in such a low level position and I responded with the latter comment.
 
2013-05-26 12:22:33 PM

More_Like_A_Stain: Oldiron_79: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

Also do you really need a resume for blue collar positions? I mean seriously you have whatever licensing and experience the company requires or you don't, My skills at creative writing should be irrelevant.

Yep. After being self employed in a now mostly obsolete field for 20 years, I was looking for any kind of job this past year, just to get me through until something permanent came along. Even part-time janitorial jobs wanted the same "where do you see yourself in five years" bullshiat essays. I had a hard time deciding whether to go for the "I see myself as Upper Management material, just looking for an opportunity to demonstrate the benefits that I can bring to your organization" or "After 20 years of making and bearing all responsibility for every decision big or small, I just want to show up, do my thing, and let somebody else drive the bus". And in fact, one part time employer did hire me after mentioning that she was wary of me getting bored or frustrated in such a low level position and I responded with the latter comment.


Buggy hwip manufacturer? Telegrapher?
 
2013-05-26 01:04:51 PM

jst3p: I was on unemployment for six months, just had to press "1" to indicate that I was looking for work that week once a week.


Wait, so are you saying that system isn't being abused? With a straight face? Or do you just object to people who assume true but unpleasant things?
Note: I'm not angry, nor am I a member of the tea party, but I do assume that most systems are routinely abused, because that's been my experience.
 
2013-05-26 02:47:53 PM

gimmegimme: reubendaley: gimmegimme: Glendale: gimmegimme: gnosis301: jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.

This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.

Sorry, friend.  You are demonstrably mistaken with regard to the age of fast food workers.

Across the country, the median age of fast-food workers is over 28, and women -- who make up two-thirds of the industry -- are over 32, according to the BLS.

Fark, I'm 32, that's literally like if everyone I knew in high school that worked in fast food back then was still in that job today. When did fast food become a career?

Since the Republicans broke the back of the middle class in the 1980s.

Your handle could not be more appropriate. Sallll-oot!

That's an odd way of trying to demonstrate that my assertion is incorrect.


That wasn't my goal. I was going for irony.
 
2013-05-26 06:17:44 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: StreetlightInTheGhetto:

Thank you for the sympathy, yet my aegis requires college education, which is far to grave a financial pitfall to be worth the risk of not being able to pay back the loan. I have abandoned that endeavor, unless I could afford it out of pocket. Most other ambitions these days require one to be licensed, bonded, insured, with previous experience and rapport; without these credentials, an individual is considered a nobody worthy only of the most insignificant work. Any dreams of doing something 'transcendental' or 'world-changing' are ill harbored with slim odds of being met without significant pelf, and most business pursuits are superficial with a desire only for profit. It was foolhardy to ever consider doing anything worthwhile--few people have the means to do so. There is nothing new under the sun, the works of one person are oft forgotten within several generations, and all is vanity. If I could just do some honest work and earn a decent living, maybe become self-employed, it would be enough.


I am a complete loser. in every crossroad in my life I took the wrong path. the road most travelled so to speak. I gave into the bottle, gave away two wives, never had any children of my own (which I have come to realize was for the best) even my step daughter told me I could never be her "dad". I have never been anything but a disappointment to my family and "friends". lost my home, my car everything (pretty much). I do have a job, I have spent a quarter of a century in the same cubicle. but all this does perpetuate the living hell my life is. but.. the only person I blame is me. like I said I had promise. I just farked everything I touched up.
so.. SHUT THE FARK UP, you whiny little biatch. get a job, or eat a bullet!
 
2013-05-26 10:20:32 PM

downstairs: Heh, indeed. My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes. We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.


I would think you are breaking some law somewhere. HR is confidential.
 
2013-05-26 10:32:04 PM

jst3p: You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.


In my place of employment it is called fired. It is really frowned upon without the owners permission. And when I say really frowned up I mean it.
 
2013-05-26 10:52:34 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: Cerebral Knievel: and you live in arkansas?

Temporarily. Texas would prolly be the better option


Then get certified to weld on oil pipelines. 7018 low-hydrogen rod all positions is your friend but watch the vertical. It is tricky.

/certified welder
 
2013-05-26 10:58:56 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: Cerebral Knievel: and you live in arkansas?

Temporarily. Texas would prolly be the better option


If you want to weld in his area then learn heliarc. It is not hard and is actually fun. The best for stainless and aluminum. Maybe think of body and fender repair. Good money and artistic at the same time.

/no longer a welder but like riding a bike you never forget how to do it
//still plays with it sometimes
 
2013-05-26 11:12:24 PM

Cerebral Knievel: I know welders that are not really doing anything special commanding $20k and up for a single job.


I don't know if things have changed but back in the day when I was a welder we made pretty much top money for the day. This would be in the 70s. And I never lacked for a job back then. Welding was the catch all for manufacturing and maintenance industries. I have welded everything from trucks to motorcycle frames to a house that was raised.

That was the strangest one. I worked for a mobile trailer repair company and welded beams for a house that was raised.

I was vocational trained with all aspects of welding and blueprint reading. The blueprint reading got me a few jobs.

/winner of regional welding contests
//never state
 
2013-05-27 01:02:56 AM

The My Little Pony Killer:

So you have no personal experience with being on unemployment, you just want to feel better than people who need it because hurr durr ex wife. Good for you.

no...I had to base the budget of my house hold by my ex wifes hair brained moneymaking schemes.. and had to know what was going on when and where, and how, and what to expect to be able to pay the bills.. and that was one of the things I had to keep track of... but if you want to think my statement was all  unemployment BLAH ex wife sucks BLAH!, then keep on farking that chicken.

I can assure you that keeping track of how the unemployment system works was one of the least of my concerns when dealing with that farking harpy

saturn badger: Cerebral Knievel: I know welders that are not really doing anything special commanding $20k and up for a single job.

I don't know if things have changed but back in the day when I was a welder we made pretty much top money for the day. This would be in the 70s. And I never lacked for a job back then. Welding was the catch all for manufacturing and maintenance industries. I have welded everything from trucks to motorcycle frames to a house that was raised.

That was the strangest one. I worked for a mobile trailer repair company and welded beams for a house that was raised.

I was vocational trained with all aspects of welding and blueprint reading. The blueprint reading got me a few jobs.

/winner of regional welding contests
//never state


Never won state for my vocational stuff either.. but my vocational stuff was radio stuff.. biggest thing I can say for any of that is that I actually worked in my field for a while after school until the industry changed.

I'm slowly learning myself how to weld on the job, mostly just to know it. It is a worth while skill that more people need to know

If I ever get a chance to have fark you money, I Intend to be a champion of vocational education programs.
 
Displayed 145 of 145 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report