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(Huffington Post)   How to fill out that Taco Bell job application like a BOSS   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 145
    More: Amusing, Taco Bell, minimum wages  
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32094 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2013 at 3:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-25 11:57:12 AM  
Desired Wage: "minimum"

There ya go! Good for you!
 
2013-05-25 12:00:41 PM  
Or just fill out an application when your high.
 
2013-05-25 12:17:39 PM  
In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired
 
2013-05-25 03:05:06 PM  
THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.
 
2013-05-25 03:13:20 PM  
I was all like "oh, this has got to be great"

Read the article and I was all like "meh"
 
2013-05-25 03:36:15 PM  

remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired


Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.
 
2013-05-25 03:50:49 PM  

Godscrack: Or just fill out an application when your high.


*you're
 
2013-05-25 03:54:52 PM  

ThatGuyGreg: Godscrack: Or just fill out an application when your high.

*you're


*today might be you're day to apply to work at Taco Bell.
 
2013-05-25 03:55:37 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.


Was thinking this as well. Keeps the bennies rolling in.
 
2013-05-25 03:55:54 PM  
This is what passes for "like a boss?"

Kids these days.
 
2013-05-25 03:58:26 PM  
From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.

WTF.
 
2013-05-25 03:59:22 PM  

Elegy: This is what passes for "like a boss?"

Kids these days.


Who's the Boss?

/yep, that gal who starred in it was quite wood-worthy back in the day.
//and, yep, I can still get a boner thinking about Dorothy Stratton,
///get offa my, er, whatever-it's-called
 
2013-05-25 03:59:38 PM  

remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired


Sure, but what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?" That's just inviting smartass responses.
 
2013-05-25 04:01:41 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Judith Light.  Not the best pic of her but you get the idea.  And, yes, she's still MILFy.
 
2013-05-25 04:02:07 PM  
I'd consider hiring that application for the entertainment value. OTOH, he/she might be overqualified; obviously spent a fortune on a liberal arts degree.
 
2013-05-25 04:03:29 PM  

red5ish: From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.

WTF.


Just change the labels:
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-25 04:04:24 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: I'd consider hiring that application for the entertainment value. OTOH, he/she might be overqualified; obviously spent a fortune on a liberal arts degree.


And didn't pick up writing skills?? Really? Look at that penmanshiat.

My money says high school sophomore.
 
2013-05-25 04:06:41 PM  

downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed.  My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes.  We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.


Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.
 
2013-05-25 04:10:41 PM  
This "like a boss" meme needs to be drowned in a river.
 
2013-05-25 04:10:56 PM  
I'd probably hire someone with the gumption to write something amusing like that.

Far better than the wheedling nob-polishing normally expected.
 
2013-05-25 04:11:58 PM  
What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!
 
2013-05-25 04:14:23 PM  

NewportBarGuy: Desired Wage: "minimum"

There ya go! Good for you!


Who knew?  And all this time I've been putting "Maximum Wage".  Duh!
 
2013-05-25 04:17:12 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: I'd probably hire someone with the gumption to write something amusing like that.

Far better than the wheedling nob-polishing normally expected.


Me too.

Face it, the stakes are not high. You need a dependable person with a pulse who can figure out how to make assembly line imitation food.

The LOLs are a bonus.
 
2013-05-25 04:23:45 PM  
If we all band together, we can stop Huffpo from autoplaying videos.
 
2013-05-25 04:29:44 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.


It's a stronger effort than many I have dealt with over the years.

"Can I put you down as a job contact".
"Sure, just fill this application out, and I'll give you my card".
"Uh, OK.  I'll fill it out and bring it back".
Never see them again.
 
2013-05-25 04:30:04 PM  
Can we all work there?
 
2013-05-25 04:36:07 PM  

redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!


I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.
 
2013-05-25 04:51:46 PM  

Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.


Did they mean 'college prep' or 'vocational'?
 
2013-05-25 04:51:49 PM  

algrant33: BarkingUnicorn: I'd consider hiring that application for the entertainment value. OTOH, he/she might be overqualified; obviously spent a fortune on a liberal arts degree.

And didn't pick up writing skills?? Really? Look at that penmanshiat.

My money says high school sophomore.


Penmanship is part of a liberal arts  curriculum?  Anyhow, it's a Taco Bell, not a calligraphy studio.
 
2013-05-25 04:51:52 PM  
stolen from insanity wolf:

q: where do you see yourself in 10 years
a: sitting at your deck, farking your wife, wearing your face stapled over mine
 
2013-05-25 04:54:01 PM  

redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!


If you have the determination to fill out the entire application correctly and without looking stupid, you have the determination to go through eight hours a day of bullshiat for a few years.
 
2013-05-25 04:56:03 PM  

algrant33: And didn't pick up writing skills?? Really? Look at that penmanshiat.


To the contrary, the thought process and storytelling suggests potential. Meanwhile guy's handwriting has been mediocre at all grade levels for a few decades.
 
2013-05-25 04:57:21 PM  

Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.


The app may have been very old, from a time when enginneering jobs required only a HS education.  Or it may have been designed for both college-educated and HS-educated positions and applicants.

What's stupid is walking away from an opportunity when all you had to do was leave that space blank.  If it wasn't significant, the reader wouldn't care.
 
2013-05-25 05:01:02 PM  
Young people's impatience with paper forms that are not custom-tailored to them arises from marketers' efforts to "personalize the online experience."  Kids do not realize that tangible life doesn't work that way.  Your chair will never be perfectly comfortable and your stapler will rarely be your favorite color.
 
2013-05-25 05:13:33 PM  

Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.


If you can't figure out "n/a", I don't want to ever be near anything you design.
 
2013-05-25 05:14:05 PM  
In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.
 
2013-05-25 05:14:30 PM  
The best answer I ever encountered from a job applicant.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY PLEASE CALL: 911, unless I am bleeding real bad then for gods sakes see if there is a doctor in the house.

I hired the kid
 
2013-05-25 05:17:56 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: I'd probably hire someone with the gumption to write something amusing like that.



Beware the gumption trap.
 
2013-05-25 05:18:52 PM  

Glendale: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Sure, but what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?" That's just inviting smartass responses.


exactly..
"well, I finally escaped from the dungeon where i'd been the unwilling sex slave of a 300 pound Samoan woman since I was the age of 3, when I glanced up and saw 2 words I'd never seen: 'Taco Bell'. The people working inside allowed me to suck sour cream from a caulk gun and then told me to piss off. This is all I aspire to be"
 
2013-05-25 05:29:51 PM  
I once filled out a job application, and under "Former Employment" I put "Bermuda Triangle Search and Rescue Team, 4 years (1987-1954).

They called me back for an interview.
 
2013-05-25 05:38:25 PM  
True story:  On a job application I found, "Do you have a drinking problem?"  Replied, "Only when I can't get a drink" and was offered the job.
 
2013-05-25 05:39:40 PM  

The_Original_Roxtar: Glendale: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications.  I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Sure, but what kind of stupid question is "how did you find out about Taco Bell?" That's just inviting smartass responses.

exactly..
"well, I finally escaped from the dungeon where i'd been the unwilling sex slave of a 300 pound Samoan woman since I was the age of 3, when I glanced up and saw 2 words I'd never seen: 'Taco Bell'. The people working inside allowed me to suck sour cream from a caulk gun and then told me to piss off. This is all I aspire to be"


"I found out later that wasn't a caulk gun, at least from a spelling perspective. And, it wasn't sour cream."
 
2013-05-25 05:40:54 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: I'd consider hiring that application for the entertainment value. OTOH, he/she might be overqualified; obviously spent a fortune on a liberal arts degree.


davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.


I used to put strange information on applications for food service or retail jobs and it usually got me hired. When it's a business with a relatively small local staff, you can often hand the application to the manager in person and sell yourself. If you come across as charming and unhinged but still marginally competent for the job, you can get hired just for the fun of having you around.

CSB: I once applied for a pizza delivery job and claimed to be an expert in phrenology who lacked credentials due to the absence of institutions providing accreditation for the field. I got the job.
 
2013-05-25 05:44:28 PM  

REO-Weedwagon: This "like a boss" meme needs to be drowned in a river.


And 'like a beast' too please.
 
2013-05-25 05:44:58 PM  

REO-Weedwagon: This "like a boss" meme needs to be drowned in a river.


...or a flooded street
 
2013-05-25 05:47:21 PM  

davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.


Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.
 
2013-05-25 05:50:51 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: THIS is how you keep unemployment benefits coming in.


This, and other minimum wage jobs are more often than not taken by individuals under the age of 18.  These kids should have no need for unemployment.
 
2013-05-25 05:58:46 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.

The app may have been very old, from a time when enginneering jobs required only a HS education.  Or it may have been designed for both college-educated and HS-educated positions and applicants.

What's stupid is walking away from an opportunity when all you had to do was leave that space blank.  If it wasn't significant, the reader wouldn't care.


I wouldn't say the engineering job was HS educated position... that educational level position job would have been "draftsman" back in the day. Back when there were actually vocational educational programs available and "draftsman" would have been a course offered in the vocational programs, that could allow a person to either get a decent job out of high school, or use it as a precursor to seeking an engineering degree..
 
2013-05-25 06:00:25 PM  

red5ish: From Reddit to BuzzFeed to Huffington Post to FARK.


Reddit produces original material? Huh. I always assumed it was "Actual source to who the fark cares where you heard it first, you idiot."
 
2013-05-25 06:05:48 PM  

Smackledorfer: davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview.  It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon.  If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order).  Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.

Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.


OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.
 
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