If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(STLToday)   Hobby Lobby says it is a ministry and should not have to pay fines under Obamacare   (stltoday.com) divider line 215
    More: Unlikely, Hobby Lobby, ministry, individual mandate  
•       •       •

10205 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2013 at 5:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



215 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-24 11:57:37 PM  
A business can't have religious beliefs.
 
2013-05-24 11:59:36 PM  
So Hobby Lobby admits to violating IRS rules on non-profits by, you know,  making a profit. Interesting.
 
2013-05-25 12:00:37 AM  
You know, if an employee of yours gets pregnant, you have to give her like 5 years maternity leave or whatever it's up to now. That might cost you a little more than letting the unholy harlot just have her Satanic baby killing potion.
 
2013-05-25 12:03:27 AM  
Duncan cited the Citizens United campaign-finance decision that said corporations had constitutional protections.

And a big thanks for that ever-lasting shiat burger, Supremes.
 
2013-05-25 12:05:29 AM  

CruiserTwelve: A business can't have religious beliefs.


You'd think, right?

"Is religion the kind of right can only be exercised by a natural person? Well, the question nearly answers itself. ... It's not a purely personal right."

I know that argument won't go anywhere, but it still gives me the farking chills.
 
2013-05-25 12:08:54 AM  
I don't think they understand how health insurance or birth control works.
 
2013-05-25 12:10:12 AM  

vartian: Duncan cited the Citizens United campaign-finance decision that said corporations had constitutional protections.

And a big thanks for that ever-lasting shiat burger, Supremes.


I don't know, Baby Love and Back In My Arms Again were pretty good songs
 
2013-05-25 12:13:16 AM  
The one thing this clearly shows is that we need less regulation and lower corporate taxes.

Oh, and tax payer funded child care for start ups, while the mommy and daddy corporations are at work during the day.
 
2013-05-25 12:13:18 AM  

TheOmni: I don't think they understand how health insurance or birth control works.


Oh they understand.  Whores and sluts used birth control.  That's all they need to know.
 
2013-05-25 12:13:31 AM  

themindiswatching: So Hobby Lobby admits to violating IRS rules on non-profits by, you know,  making a profit. Interesting.


You mean like all those Prosperity Gospel Ministries?
 
2013-05-25 12:17:55 AM  

NewportBarGuy: themindiswatching: So Hobby Lobby admits to violating IRS rules on non-profits by, you know,  making a profit. Interesting.

You mean like all those Prosperity Gospel Ministries?


They're helping with a good cause though: the minister's lack of yachts.
 
2013-05-25 12:18:51 AM  

clancifer: TheOmni: I don't think they understand how health insurance or birth control works.

Oh they understand.  Whores and sluts used birth control.  That's all they need to know.


I remember a patient at the pharmacy I worked at a few years ago. She had to have the prescription be for health reasons. (Complexion or hormonal regulation or some sh*t.) If it didn't have that, her insurance (employer) wouldn't cover it. She worked for a church or some religious thing. I thought that was the craziest sh*t I'd ever heard. And I've heard "Hey, we're gonna give this 18-year-old cross-eyed retard live ammo and you are going to cover each other while you move to the objective." Sooooo.... This even pales.

You want more of your workers out for 6-9 months? That's sound business planning, Hobby Lobby. Praise be to Jesus or whatever.
 
2013-05-25 12:19:41 AM  

themindiswatching: They're helping with a good cause though: the minister's lack of yachts.


I think Creflo Dollar is my favorite. That name just kicks all kinds of ass.
 
2013-05-25 12:50:51 AM  
Who would Jesus deprive of health care?
 
2013-05-25 01:24:14 AM  

NewportBarGuy: clancifer: TheOmni: I don't think they understand how health insurance or birth control works.

Oh they understand.  Whores and sluts used birth control.  That's all they need to know.

I remember a patient at the pharmacy I worked at a few years ago. She had to have the prescription be for health reasons. (Complexion or hormonal regulation or some sh*t.) If it didn't have that, her insurance (employer) wouldn't cover it. She worked for a church or some religious thing. I thought that was the craziest sh*t I'd ever heard. And I've heard "Hey, we're gonna give this 18-year-old cross-eyed retard live ammo and you are going to cover each other while you move to the objective." Sooooo.... This even pales.

You want more of your workers out for 6-9 months? That's sound business planning, Hobby Lobby. Praise be to Jesus or whatever.


Don't forget the part where they don't want to pay into welfare. Force a baby on a poor woman and don't support it, that's the way of things lately; Yay, everyone pays!
 
2013-05-25 02:08:58 AM  
Vishnu, Mary, and Joseph! According to their FAQ, via wikipedia, they don't use barcodes. And I can guess it's because ... they have 666 in them! (Dramatic chord!)

/which they don't
 
2013-05-25 02:10:13 AM  
Hobby Lobby is a farking terrible store. It's the size of walmart and has the organization of a bodega. Cheap Chinese knickknacks, 30% of which are broken, make up the front of the store. To the left you can get cheap chinese seasonal knickknacks, which is christmas shiat for most of the year.

In the back lies all the "hobby" stuff - arts & craft gear in aisles which are not labeled at all. You want paint? You better remember which of the 40 aisles has paint, because there are no signs anywhere in the store, excluding knickknack signs that say "bless this house"

If you want help, you better get farked because there are 2 visible employees on the floor at a time
 
2013-05-25 02:16:53 AM  

moothemagiccow: Hobby Lobby is a farking terrible store. It's the size of walmart and has the organization of a bodega. Cheap Chinese knickknacks, 30% of which are broken, make up the front of the store. To the left you can get cheap chinese seasonal knickknacks, which is christmas shiat for most of the year.

In the back lies all the "hobby" stuff - arts & craft gear in aisles which are not labeled at all. You want paint? You better remember which of the 40 aisles has paint, because there are no signs anywhere in the store, excluding knickknack signs that say "bless this house"

If you want help, you better get farked because there are 2 visible employees on the floor at a time


and then you find that their selection of the hobby/craft items you want is almost as good as walmarts.
 
2013-05-25 02:19:49 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-25 02:21:37 AM  

moothemagiccow: If you want help, you better get farked because there are 2 visible employees on the floor at a time


If God wanted you to get hobby stuff, he would tell you what aisle stuff's in.
 
2013-05-25 02:58:18 AM  
Maybe if you stopped pricing your shiat double what the art stores sell it for (and triple what you can buy it for online) you could actually clear some of that outdated stock that's been sitting on the shelf for 5 years and be able to afford some proper insurance for your employees.
 
2013-05-25 03:23:06 AM  

moothemagiccow: Hobby Lobby is a farking terrible store. It's the size of walmart and has the organization of a bodega. Cheap Chinese knickknacks, 30% of which are broken, make up the front of the store. To the left you can get cheap chinese seasonal knickknacks, which is christmas shiat for most of the year.

In the back lies all the "hobby" stuff - arts & craft gear in aisles which are not labeled at all. You want paint? You better remember which of the 40 aisles has paint, because there are no signs anywhere in the store, excluding knickknack signs that say "bless this house"

If you want help, you better get farked because there are 2 visible employees on the floor at a time


How do they compete with Michaels then? We don't have Hobby Lobby out this way, and while Michaels has its flaws, it certainly sounds way better than what you describe.
 
2013-05-25 03:51:31 AM  

ShawnDoc: How do they compete with Michaels then? We don't have Hobby Lobby out this way, and while Michaels has its flaws, it certainly sounds way better than what you describe.


Around here at least, Michaels stores are less than half the size of Hobby Lobbys, and the prices are even a little higher.  In my experience, the proportion of tacky knickknacks to actual art stuff is roughly the same, with the exception that at least 25% of any Hobby Lobby store is devoted to Christmas displays 365 days a year.
 
2013-05-25 05:33:19 AM  
Old and busted: corporations are people.

New hotness: corporations are ministries.

Cause Jesus was all about limited liability.
 
2013-05-25 05:35:18 AM  

dookdookdook: ShawnDoc: How do they compete with Michaels then? We don't have Hobby Lobby out this way, and while Michaels has its flaws, it certainly sounds way better than what you describe.

Around here at least, Michaels stores are less than half the size of Hobby Lobbys, and the prices are even a little higher.  In my experience, the proportion of tacky knickknacks to actual art stuff is roughly the same, with the exception that at least 25% of any Hobby Lobby store is devoted to Christmas displays 365 days a year.


I like joann fabrics. Well "like". In that it's the best choice around here for that kind of stuff.
 
2013-05-25 05:39:06 AM  
Ya know, I could respect their position that being a private organization should allow them to provide a specific level of health coverage in line with the religious beliefs of the owner.

I could, but I don't, and I think it's a totally asinine, back-asswards position, and that they are wrong, but I see where they're coming from and all.

But, trying to claim you're a ministry to avoid the legal obligations so you can be assholes and impose your dark-ages beliefs on employees you've never even met, even though you are obviously not any form of religious institution? fark you, you dickwads. Go blow a goat.
 
2013-05-25 05:39:54 AM  
The things some scumbag corporate types will do to avoid social responsibility.
 
2013-05-25 05:44:44 AM  

CruiserTwelve: A business can't have religious beliefs.


According to the IRS and Federal Law, those religious beliefs A) Don't make it a "ministry" or a "charity", since it is a franchisee-owned for profit corporation, and B) Those religious beliefs don't give it exemption from federal law.

On another note, fark Hobby Lobby. After what they did to my girlfriend, I will never buy another thing from them. They cut her down to 16 hours a week, while making every male member of the staff a 32-hour a week employee so they wouldn't have to pay her any benefits.
 
2013-05-25 05:45:23 AM  

vartian: CruiserTwelve: A business can't have religious beliefs.

You'd think, right?

"Is religion the kind of right can only be exercised by a natural person? Well, the question nearly answers itself. ... It's not a purely personal right."

I know that argument won't go anywhere, but it still gives me the farking chills.


Frankly, I'm having more than a little bit of trouble following his... uh.... 'logic'.  Also, don't be surprised if this particular argument works, all the way through the supreme court.

After all, they already decided corporations "are people" in several other ways, religious freedom (to oppress other religious choices, or the lack there of) seems like it would be a logical next step.  This country loves it's corrupt money, but we love our corrupt religions as well.
 
2013-05-25 05:45:30 AM  
I don't shop Hobby Lobby. Not by decision but because even if I wanted to, there isn't one anywhere near here.

But for a business to offer their employees insurance that deals with stuff like birth control/morning after pill isn't condoning it. If the employee shares your values, they simply won't use those methods.

Then again, "my religion is the only correct religion and my values are the only correct values and the rest of you can all suck it." This is the general mentality of way too many religious people in the US today and that's why I got out of organized religion. (But I'm not an atheist.)
 
2013-05-25 05:46:15 AM  

hardinparamedic: CruiserTwelve: A business can't have religious beliefs.

According to the IRS and Federal Law, those religious beliefs A) Don't make it a "ministry" or a "charity", since it is a franchisee-owned for profit corporation, and B) Those religious beliefs don't give it exemption from federal law.

On another note, fark Hobby Lobby. After what they did to my girlfriend, I will never buy another thing from them. They cut her down to 16 hours a week, while making every male member of the staff a 32-hour a week employee so they wouldn't have to pay her any benefits.


That sounds like an actionable claim for sexual discrimination.
 
2013-05-25 05:48:03 AM  
Do they also refuse to give their employees wages that could potentially be used for condoms or after morning pills? They should have the right to withhold paychecks.
 
2013-05-25 05:48:32 AM  

MmmmBacon: That sounds like an actionable claim for sexual discrimination.


They made the claim it was because of performance issues, and shuffled a few people around. Despite the fact that she had exceptional comments from her manager.

She told them to go fark themselves this week. Davis Bridal hired her for a full time position, non-commission making 1.6x what she was making at Hobby Lobby.
 
2013-05-25 05:49:12 AM  

almandot: Do they also refuse to give their employees wages that could potentially be used for condoms or after morning pills? They should have the right to withhold paychecks.


They are notorious for letting their Franchisees do whatever the fark they want to their employees. Honestly, it's worse than wal-mart.
 
2013-05-25 05:49:37 AM  
Wild guess, they're all for boner pills.
 
2013-05-25 05:52:05 AM  

hardinparamedic: MmmmBacon: That sounds like an actionable claim for sexual discrimination.

They made the claim it was because of performance issues, and shuffled a few people around. Despite the fact that she had exceptional comments from her manager.

She told them to go fark themselves this week. Davis Bridal hired her for a full time position, non-commission making 1.6x what she was making at Hobby Lobby.


Good for her! Fark those douchebags at Hobby Lobby.
 
2013-05-25 05:53:06 AM  

Shadowtag: Wild guess, they're all for boner pills.


The Bible condones boner pills, they're like Jesus, you know? Raising the dead back to life?
 
2013-05-25 05:53:25 AM  

vartian: Duncan cited the Citizens United campaign-finance decision that said corporations had constitutional protections.

And a big thanks for that ever-lasting shiat burger, Supremes.


They'd have to be mentally defective to agree with that blind assertion.  You think any sane judge would say that corporations have the same right to privacy or right to bear arms that people have?  That would undermine the entire SEC, and give public corporations a justification to build their own private armies.

It would be almost like the burbclave world of Snow Crash

On second thought, fark yeah, let's get this party started.
 
2013-05-25 05:55:05 AM  
"Is religion the kind of right can only be exercised by a natural person? Well, the question nearly answers itself. ... It's not a purely personal right."

The question does answer itself, quite explicitly in federal and constitutional law.  Under the constitution, only individual persons have the right of religion.  Under the broader federal standards, only individuals and 501(c)3 organisations have the right of religion.

So it stops right there, actually.  Hobby Lobby is not a 501(c)3 organization so far as they know, so they're not even remotely eligible to ask for this kind of exemption.

However, taking it a step further, individual rights supersede corporate rights in basically every case.  Insurance is not owned by the corp, it's part of the pay of the employee, and is thus the property of the employee.  The corporation cannot dictate to the employee what to do with his or her private property, which their compensation is very definitely under extremely firmly established legal precedents from back in the end of the gilded age.

So... even if they were in fact a 501(c)3 organization, they  still wouldn't be eligible for an exemption here, and to ask for it is stupid on its face for anyone with even the slightest knowledge of basic civics and general employment law.  It's not a coincidence that it takes the full financial and political power of the largest fat-cat organizations in the US to keep even a few of these stupid, stupid suits from being immediately laughed out of court.  The request couldn't be any more obviously in violation of basic US law if they were requesting that a newspaper be censored and its guns confiscated without a warrant while the employees were sold into slavery.
 
2013-05-25 05:55:58 AM  

hardinparamedic: almandot: Do they also refuse to give their employees wages that could potentially be used for condoms or after morning pills? They should have the right to withhold paychecks.

They are notorious for letting their Franchisees do whatever the fark they want to their employees. Honestly, it's worse than wal-mart.


That's not going far enough! Hobby Lobby should be able to pay their employees in their own script, that will only be accepted at Hobby Lobby-run company stores. So the employees will only be able to buy items the company wants them to buy. Of course condoms and birth control won't be available at these company stores.
 
2013-05-25 05:57:20 AM  

HotWingAgenda: vartian: Duncan cited the Citizens United campaign-finance decision that said corporations had constitutional protections.

And a big thanks for that ever-lasting shiat burger, Supremes.

They'd have to be mentally defective to agree with that blind assertion.  You think any sane judge would say that corporations have the same right to privacy or right to bear arms that people have?  That would undermine the entire SEC, and give public corporations a justification to build their own private armies.

It would be almost like the burbclave world of Snow Crash

On second thought, fark yeah, let's get this party started.


You haven't been paying attention.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_military_company
 
2013-05-25 05:59:43 AM  

NewportBarGuy: clancifer: TheOmni: I don't think they understand how health insurance or birth control works.

Oh they understand.  Whores and sluts used birth control.  That's all they need to know.

I remember a patient at the pharmacy I worked at a few years ago. She had to have the prescription be for health reasons. (Complexion or hormonal regulation or some sh*t.) If it didn't have that, her insurance (employer) wouldn't cover it. She worked for a church or some religious thing. I thought that was the craziest sh*t I'd ever heard. And I've heard "Hey, we're gonna give this 18-year-old cross-eyed retard live ammo and you are going to cover each other while you move to the objective." Sooooo.... This even pales.

You want more of your workers out for 6-9 months? That's sound business planning, Hobby Lobby. Praise be to Jesus or whatever.


I too have heard something similar.  Although, our guy wasn't a retard, he'd actually joined the Army after convincing a judge that it was a better alternative than going to jail for incest.  The guy actually farked his sister.  Made it all the way through Ranger school too.  Probably because nothing was harder than convincing his sister to let him hit it.

We took to calling him "Sister Farker."
 
2013-05-25 05:59:45 AM  

CruiserTwelve: A business can't have religious beliefs.


Corporations, are people, my friend.
 
2013-05-25 06:00:39 AM  
Hahahahahahahaha. Oh wait, You're being serious. Let me laugh even harder.
 
2013-05-25 06:00:46 AM  

themindiswatching: So Hobby Lobby admits to violating IRS rules on non-profits by, you know,  making a profit. Interesting.


well, if the artilcle actually said anything close to what subby said, yeah... wait, no, you would still be wrong.
 
2013-05-25 06:02:17 AM  
Hmmmm. I have that Laffy Taffy. Does that make me also exempt.
 
2013-05-25 06:04:36 AM  

MmmmBacon: Shadowtag: Wild guess, they're all for boner pills.

The Bible condones boner pills, they're like Jesus, you know? Raising the dead back to life?


As long as the boner pills have sparkly pink glitter on them, they'll be kosher.

/OMG Mariah Carrie thread hi-jack
//Just kidding
 
2013-05-25 06:04:57 AM  

I sound fat: themindiswatching: So Hobby Lobby admits to violating IRS rules on non-profits by, you know,  making a profit. Interesting.

well, if the artilcle actually said anything close to what subby said, yeah... wait, no, you would still be wrong.


Also, non-profits have to make a profit, otherwise they'd fail.  They're just very limited in what they're allowed to do with said profits.  They typically can't pay out dividends and have to re-invest most of it in company assets or set it aside in an external investment or rainy-day fund.
 
2013-05-25 06:11:19 AM  

CruiserTwelve: A business can't have religious beliefs.


Sure it can.  Like all corporations, Hobby Lobby is a disciple of the Church of the Almighty Dollar.
 
2013-05-25 06:11:40 AM  

Kahabut: HotWingAgenda: vartian: Duncan cited the Citizens United campaign-finance decision that said corporations had constitutional protections.

And a big thanks for that ever-lasting shiat burger, Supremes.

They'd have to be mentally defective to agree with that blind assertion.  You think any sane judge would say that corporations have the same right to privacy or right to bear arms that people have?  That would undermine the entire SEC, and give public corporations a justification to build their own private armies.

It would be almost like the burbclave world of Snow Crash

On second thought, fark yeah, let's get this party started.

You haven't been paying attention.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_military_company


Turns out I was wronger than you thought.  Those jackasses specifically gave corporations free rein to field their own armies, not even for security contracting to the government.

Writing for the majority Chief Justice Roberts opined, "If the first amendment applies to Corporations, surely the second amendment also applies. Since Corporations have no history of abusing their power, we expect that they will employ their private armies with restraint and discretion,"
 
Displayed 50 of 215 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report