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(Mother Nature Network)   How to attract spiders to your garden. But just the cute and helpful ones. Not the big, freaky, hairy ones that eat birds and hide behind toilets and clocks   (mnn.com) divider line 16
    More: Interesting, gardens  
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4677 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 May 2013 at 8:17 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-24 09:41:24 AM  
3 votes:
************EMERGENCY SPIDER SYSTEM (ESS) ACTIVATED************

A SEVERE HORRIFYING SPIDER WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR FARK THREAD# 7764784 AT 9:40 AM ON FRIDAY, MAY 24TH, 2013..

THIS WARNING CONFIRMS THE SIGHTING OF ARACHNIDS THAT WILL BE SURE TO EITHER KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP OR INVADE YOUR DREAMS AND CAUSE VOMITING, HEART ATTACKS, STROKE, AND/OR SOILED PANTS.

REMAIN CALM. SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY AND/OR FIND WEAPONS THAT CAN TERMINATE HORRIFYING SPIDERS. APPROVED WEAPONS INCLUDE FLAMETHROWERS, OLD SHOES, NAPALM, COLLEGE ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TEXTBOOKS, OR NUCLEAR MISSILES. FIND THE NEAREST WEAPON, AND REPEATEDLY SMASH THE SPIDER UNTIL IT IS COMPLETELY FLATTENED AND HAS STOPPED MOVING/TWITCHING. IF YOU CANNOT PERFORM THIS TASK, FIND THE NEAREST NON-PUSSY TO DO IT FOR YOU.

ONCE THE SPIDER IS DESTROYED, USE NUCLEAR MISSILES AND/OR GASOLINE WITH A MATCH TO BURN THE BODY, TO MAKE SURE THE SPIDER IS DOWN FOR GOOD. NAPALM IS ALSO ACCEPTABLE. REMOVE THE ASHES WITH A VACUUM CLEANER, AND MAKE SURE YOU CAUTERIZE THE VACUUM CLEANER JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

THIS CONCLUDES THE ESS EMERGENCY BROADCAST

******END TRANSMISSION*********
2013-05-24 08:53:53 AM  
3 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-05-24 10:25:47 AM  
2 votes:

Smoking GNU: thecpt: I saw a bee come in through the diffuser last night and I couldn't care less. I saw a spider on top of the kitchen cabinet last week. I was judge Judy and executioner and quicker than you can say get the ladder, boom flip flop throw for the kill

Spiders are not a problem for me. Wasps and hornets, however, get me running from the room post haste. I have a (probably irrational) fear that the will sting me in my eyes.

And our garden is full of wasps.


We just come for the gin and tonics.  And the foie gras.  Stop putting those out, we'll head back to the country club...
2013-05-24 09:50:31 AM  
2 votes:
www.buzzlol.com
2013-05-24 09:45:03 AM  
2 votes:
2013-05-24 10:10:42 AM  
1 votes:
2013-05-24 10:09:50 AM  
1 votes:
www.vincentchow.net
2013-05-24 10:03:14 AM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-05-24 10:00:17 AM  
1 votes:
bestdemotivationalposters.com
2013-05-24 09:21:55 AM  
1 votes:
i44.tinypic.com

How about a nice cup of NOPE?
2013-05-24 08:58:57 AM  
1 votes:

Smoking GNU: thecpt: I saw a bee come in through the diffuser last night and I couldn't care less. I saw a spider on top of the kitchen cabinet last week. I was judge Judy and executioner and quicker than you can say get the ladder, boom flip flop throw for the kill

Spiders are not a problem for me. Wasps and hornets, however, get me running from the room post haste. I have a (probably irrational) fear that the will sting me in my eyes.

And our garden is full of wasps.


Bees: hives, ass needle, kamikaze mode, dance talk, wtf? eyes, proximity alarm (buzzing)

Spiders: 8 legs, ass thread (insta hammock!), bajillion eyes, eat their babies, suck out yummy bug innards, hydraulic legs, trap doors, fangs, song of their people, wait in the dark, suddenly spiders thousands of them (it can rain spiders), destroy Wisconsin (PACKERS)


I give the nod to spiders.
2013-05-24 08:55:30 AM  
1 votes:

Smoking GNU: Wasps and hornets, however, get me running from the room post haste. I have a (probably irrational) fear that the will sting me in my eyes.

And our garden is full of wasps.


Our garden is organic, and we don't use any sort of chemicals on the lawn. There are two exceptions to this, however: fire ants, and wasps. Fire ant mounds get the Ortho "Big Gulp O' Poison" as soon as they're noticed. And the wasps?

For them, I flood the Enrichment Center with deadly neurotoxin.
2013-05-24 08:48:23 AM  
1 votes:

Vermicious Knids: I_C_Weener: Vermicious Knids: I_C_Weener:

I hate you a lot right now.

Heh. Just know I stole that so the spelling error is not mine

Also, some background on my kneejerk response: I was drinking a soda from McDonald's when I saw that pic. McDonald's has opaque straws. I seriously had to stop drinking my Diet Coke and check the straw. :D


Oh, so you were too slow, then?
2013-05-24 08:37:39 AM  
1 votes:

I_C_Weener: Vermicious Knids: I_C_Weener:

I hate you a lot right now.

Heh. Just know I stole that so the spelling error is not mine


Also, some background on my kneejerk response: I was drinking a soda from McDonald's when I saw that pic. McDonald's has opaque straws. I seriously had to stop drinking my Diet Coke and check the straw. :D
2013-05-24 08:16:50 AM  
1 votes:
GO AHEAD...

 farm3.staticflickr.com

WALK AROUND BAREFOOT


2013-05-24 08:00:07 AM  
1 votes:
i586.photobucket.com
 
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