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(Daily Mail)   Because she has no soul, and the devil's eyes   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 126
    More: Scary, NHS Foundation Trust, Asperger syndrome, Pickering, Mr and Mrs, North Yorkshire, mainstream schools  
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21358 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 May 2013 at 8:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-24 01:36:05 PM
/csb time

My 5.5 year old son has had problems like this for years now. Been kicked out of 4 daycares for similar aggression issues, been through therapy, goes to special ed preschool where they address behavioral issues, been diagnosed ADHD but waiting over a year for an autism eval. It's most certainly not a case of a 'preshus snoflake syndrom' or whatever, because I don't put up with that kind of shiat nor do I believe in coddling children. I was raised with lots of discipline and smacks and spanking if I got too unruly. He has faced firm discipline at home all his life, and it has evolved based on what works and what didnt and what therapists recommend. He doesn't get candy at home and generally does behave quite a bit better here. I have no issues with bringing other kids over to play. It's been a long slow hard battle and we've tried a TON of behavioral techniques, but the best luck we've had was with changing his diet. We followed the Feingold Diet to remove all artificial flavors, dyes, certain preservatives and some fruits/veggies. After a few weeks, it really did help. He still has aggression issues and focus issues and is very impulsive, but it's just more manageable. He still has bad days at school with hitting and whatnot, but they are much fewer and farther between. Also, he's not fat and I have a job. There are definitely fishy parts with this story, but I can empathize with some of it.
 
2013-05-24 01:53:26 PM

freetomato: namegoeshere: Great Porn Dragon: vudukungfu: What she needs is some Martial arts training. a field trip to an eccentric candymaker, an unauthorised taste-test of blueberry-juice candy, and a date with a mess of Oompa-Loompas and a big wine press for purposes of strategic attitude adjustment.

FTFY--"Aspergers" does not mean "Little shiat", people like the parents above actually make it difficult for people with a LEGITIMATE diagnosis of Asperger's, I see the kid and think more "Intermittent explosive disorder" or some other disorder associated with sociopathy, and am reminded of nothing more or less than a certain  Veruca Salt :P


FTFY


Heh. I linked the peanut factory tantrum above. ; )

Happiness. That's what counts with children. Happiness and harmony.
 
2013-05-24 01:59:14 PM

Intrepid00: RedVentrue: namegoeshere: Boarding school Waterboarding School.  is probably the best place for her.

Also, really, I'm the first to mention that she's a Ginger?

Pretty sure tags title is referencing she is ginger.


I'm just saying she would have a great future at Guantanamo.

She's one of the gingeriest gingers I've seen in a while.
 
2013-05-24 02:13:10 PM

Priapetic: You'd think that before someone calls someone else out for presenting an uninformed view, they'd take the time to learn there's no such thing as a "bell curve" - that term is just a colloquialism referencing the shape of a histogram of a normal distribution, popularized by the book The Bell Curve.


No, I wouldn't think that all. That's a stupid thing to think because people don't normally talk like that.
 
2013-05-24 02:15:03 PM

Flarn: /csb time

My 5.5 year old son has had problems like this for years now. Been kicked out of 4 daycares for similar aggression issues, been through therapy, goes to special ed preschool where they address behavioral issues, been diagnosed ADHD but waiting over a year for an autism eval. It's most certainly not a case of a 'preshus snoflake syndrom' or whatever, because I don't put up with that kind of shiat nor do I believe in coddling children. I was raised with lots of discipline and smacks and spanking if I got too unruly. He has faced firm discipline at home all his life, and it has evolved based on what works and what didnt and what therapists recommend. He doesn't get candy at home and generally does behave quite a bit better here. I have no issues with bringing other kids over to play. It's been a long slow hard battle and we've tried a TON of behavioral techniques, but the best luck we've had was with changing his diet. We followed the Feingold Diet to remove all artificial flavors, dyes, certain preservatives and some fruits/veggies. After a few weeks, it really did help. He still has aggression issues and focus issues and is very impulsive, but it's just more manageable. He still has bad days at school with hitting and whatnot, but they are much fewer and farther between. Also, he's not fat and I have a job. There are definitely fishy parts with this story, but I can empathize with some of it.


Define "firm discipline"
 
2013-05-24 02:36:20 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: Astorix: Nobody on this thread has an autistic child.

Neither do the parents in TFA.

And do you know what Autism is not? An excuse for allowing your child to do whatever they want, whenever they want.


Yes, we do.  Diagnosed in 2006. Waited 18 months to get the diagnosis.


/can't teach a pig to sing. Troll.
 
2013-05-24 02:39:55 PM
"Doc, we've tried nuthin, and we're all outta options"
 
2013-05-24 02:45:33 PM

Flarn: /csb time

My 5.5 year old son has had problems like this for years now. Been kicked out of 4 daycares for similar aggression issues, been through therapy, goes to special ed preschool where they address behavioral issues, been diagnosed ADHD but waiting over a year for an autism eval. It's most certainly not a case of a 'preshus snoflake syndrom' or whatever, because I don't put up with that kind of shiat nor do I believe in coddling children. I was raised with lots of discipline and smacks and spanking if I got too unruly. He has faced firm discipline at home all his life, and it has evolved based on what works and what didnt and what therapists recommend. He doesn't get candy at home and generally does behave quite a bit better here. I have no issues with bringing other kids over to play. It's been a long slow hard battle and we've tried a TON of behavioral techniques, but the best luck we've had was with changing his diet. We followed the Feingold Diet to remove all artificial flavors, dyes, certain preservatives and some fruits/veggies. After a few weeks, it really did help. He still has aggression issues and focus issues and is very impulsive, but it's just more manageable. He still has bad days at school with hitting and whatnot, but they are much fewer and farther between. Also, he's not fat and I have a job. There are definitely fishy parts with this story, but I can empathize with some of it.


Diet does help our daughter. We noticed that anything with red food dyes sent her nuts. We cut out all candies. We also noticed that blueberries have a great calming affect on her. Almost a sedating effect. Is your son a hugely picky eater. We noticed that with our daughter and all other autistic children. Our pediatrician refuses to give her Aspergers because she is too young in his view amd not verbal enough. She is definitely on the ASD. She is definitely hyperlexic.
 
2013-05-24 02:47:58 PM
Defenestrate the little piggie.
 
2013-05-24 03:06:58 PM
All it takes is parents not teaching their kids how to conduct themselves in public or in a classroom setting.
It starts from day one and never ends.
If the kid has a problem with that, tough shiat. Better they know how to navigate and negotiate through life than end up in jail.

Parent fail.
 
2013-05-24 03:36:03 PM
Intrepid00:

Define "firm discipline"

As I said, a variety of tactics have been employed. Very firm tones when rules are broken, lots of communication about what he did wrong and why it's wrong, clear consequences laid out that are always followed through if threatened, well spelled out rewards and punishments, reward charts, loss of toys and other privileges, timeouts, ignoring, and even spanking for the worst behavior. The spankings increased aggression so we stopped doing that. It wasn't the first thing we tried, but in the end we had to try everything. These days it's just clear rewards for the good behavior, firm expressions of disappointment, discussion, the occasional timeout, and loss of stuff for serious infractions. Tantrums will generally get him ignored or put in bed. If we are in public, I have no issue with picking up my screaming child and taking him home, no matter where we are or how much fun we were having. You behave or you don't get fun things. Period.

That having been said, I do have to have some compassion for him sometimes when he truly doesn't understand what he did wrong. Part of the problem with the potential ADHD/Autism issue is normal discipline just doesn't work because their brains are not wired up right to understand the consequences of their actions before they take the action, no matter how many times you might go over that or how many times they get in trouble. In the heat of the moment, he often can't process right from wrong. When calm, you can quiz him six ways to Sunday about the right way to act in a given situation and he will respond correctly every time.

Astorix:
Is your son a hugely picky eater.

Luckily, he's not. That's made the diet change easy. He is extremely verbal and has a higher than average vocabulary for his age, so he fully understands (after explanations) when something isn't good for him to eat and abides by it.
 
2013-05-24 04:09:54 PM

Flarn: Intrepid00:

Define "firm discipline"

As I said, a variety of tactics have been employed. Very firm tones when rules are broken, lots of communication about what he did wrong and why it's wrong, clear consequences laid out that are always followed through if threatened, well spelled out rewards and punishments, reward charts, loss of toys and other privileges, timeouts, ignoring, and even spanking for the worst behavior. The spankings increased aggression so we stopped doing that. It wasn't the first thing we tried, but in the end we had to try everything. These days it's just clear rewards for the good behavior, firm expressions of disappointment, discussion, the occasional timeout, and loss of stuff for serious infractions. Tantrums will generally get him ignored or put in bed. If we are in public, I have no issue with picking up my screaming child and taking him home, no matter where we are or how much fun we were having. You behave or you don't get fun things. Period.

That having been said, I do have to have some compassion for him sometimes when he truly doesn't understand what he did wrong. Part of the problem with the potential ADHD/Autism issue is normal discipline just doesn't work because their brains are not wired up right to understand the consequences of their actions before they take the action, no matter how many times you might go over that or how many times they get in trouble. In the heat of the moment, he often can't process right from wrong. When calm, you can quiz him six ways to Sunday about the right way to act in a given situation and he will respond correctly every time.

Astorix:
Is your son a hugely picky eater.

Luckily, he's not. That's made the diet change easy. He is extremely verbal and has a higher than average vocabulary for his age, so he fully understands (after explanations) when something isn't good for him to eat and abides by it.


Oh, man, how I have walked your walk. We tried everything too, spanking as a very last resort. Autistic kids have very poor impulse control and this is something that only those who have dealt with understand. And getting them to u derstand esoteric concepts such as consequences is maddeningly difficult.
 
2013-05-24 04:16:13 PM

Omnis_evil_twin: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x513]


[static.tvtropes.org image 327x348]


Yes! Thank you.  I knew she looked familiar, but I could not place her.
 
2013-05-24 04:35:38 PM

skozlaw: Priapetic: You'd think that before someone calls someone else out for presenting an uninformed view, they'd take the time to learn there's no such thing as a "bell curve" - that term is just a colloquialism referencing the shape of a histogram of a normal distribution, popularized by the book The Bell Curve.

No, I wouldn't think that all. That's a stupid thing to think because people don't normally talk like that.


You're correct that people frequently display their ignorance by misusing phrases such as "bell curve" thinking they have a specific meaning, in the same manner as the poster you castigated did not fully understand probability distribution.  But its hardly a "stupid thing to think" - we can strive to be so much better than we are, and should.  Regression to the mean is not a desirable goal.  Your action to correct a fellow poster clearly points out the high standards you set for those engaged in discourse here.  Surely you agree you should hold yourself to the same standards you require of them?
 
2013-05-24 04:46:33 PM

Priapetic: You're correct that people frequently display their ignorance


For example, they create a Fark handle that means "dick" but don't do anything more clever with it than look up an adjective for it?

Take your pseudo-intellectual bullshiat elsewhere. I find it shallow and pedantic.
 
2013-05-24 05:13:29 PM
Sounds like some percussive discipline is needed here.
 
2013-05-24 08:06:45 PM
Sounds like she's a spoiled little tw*t.  Nobody cares how your little turd scores on her tests if she's a jackass.
 
2013-05-24 08:14:00 PM

olddinosaur: Hmmm, let's see:

1. Parents do not teach self control to little slowflake;

2. Little snowflake grows up thinking she rules the world;

3. World has other ideas, expects little snowflake to have manners and show respect for others;

4. Little snowflake throws tantrums when she has to behave like everyone else;

5. Parents blame teacher, schools, system, ADHD, Ass--burgers' syndrome-----everyone but themselves, for not doing their duty.

That about get it?



Pretty much, except that the reason they think she is a precious little snowflake is because she has an IQ of 130. Apparently that is really important.
 
2013-05-24 08:21:32 PM
"Until she has a firm diagnosis, the couple will not be able to see their daughter be offered the training and support they feel she desperately needs."

Boy are they going to be pissed when they find out there is nothing medically wrong with their not-so-little snowflake, and as a result this magical training and support that they think they are entitled to wont be forthcoming.

Also, she doesn't look like a very picky eater.
 
2013-05-24 11:17:36 PM
As a teacher, this kind of article makes me want to kick and bite people, too.  The parents are blaming the system for failing their daughter when she is clearly a danger to herself and others.  Just this year, I have heard the BS from parents saying the their child "never behaves like that at home", shortly followed by stories about how their child was hitting them during a tantrum.  It's self-delusion, combined with the desire to be free of their children for a short time.

Just today, a staff member didn't come into work because a child (2nd grade) beat on them so hard that they were bloodied and bruised (including two black eyes).  While this was the worst incident, there have been 3 - 5 incidents every week where this same child has attacked an adult or another child.  It generally pulls 3 teachers or other staff members away from what they are doing for 30 - 60 minutes to protect the safety of the rest of the students.

And this isn't just one child.  We have several in the school who behave like this due to emotional or psychological issues.  Other students, who might otherwise be manageable, see these behaviors, begin to accept them as normal, and start behaving similarly.  I'm shocked that parents haven't sued the district for the absurd policy of keeping these dangerous kids in the regular classroom.

I'm sorry, but school staff are not psychologists or orderlies in a institution.  Teachers have 25 (or so) other students to deal with during the day, and cannot drop everything to devote hours of one-on-one time to one disturbed child.  It is an incredible disservice to the rest of the class, and frankly the entire society, when this level of resources is dedicated to damage control.

I feel for these parents - they are in a horrible situation (and no, I don't blame most of them for the problems.  Harder discipline is not the answer for many of these kids.) - but the traditional public school system does not work for, and often because of, these kids with severe emotional or behavioral problems.  This coming from a big believer in efficacy of public schools and the inclusion model for most students.

Whew!  I feel a little better...
 
2013-05-24 11:27:31 PM

skozlaw: Priapetic: You're correct that people frequently display their ignorance

For example, they create a Fark handle that means "dick" but don't do anything more clever with it than look up an adjective for it?

Take your pseudo-intellectual bullshiat elsewhere. I find it shallow and pedantic.


Amusing.  So take your self-righteous hypocrisy elsewhere.  If your self esteem is so low you need to call out people on an anonymous forum for not conforming to your standard of discourse, then whine when the same is applied to you, you'd think you'd have enough sense to shut up.

Yet here you are.
 
2013-05-25 12:08:42 AM

Honest Bender: has an IQ of 130

Way to celebrate mediocrity.


Damn straight. One thirty qualifies as my barista, or dog walker.

/my dog's name is "Schroedinger".
 
2013-05-25 05:38:39 AM

freetomato: And just what the hell is a "soft play" business?


Indoor (normally) play area for toddlers and younger children to ten or so. Typically a multilevel maze with slides, ladders, bridges and so on. Everything is padded, hence "soft play". Great fun.
 
2013-05-25 05:42:46 AM

Intrepid00: Define "firm discipline"


I used to work on residential activities for children. The worst behaviour we saw, generally, came from the children of policemen and soldiers. Lots of firm discipline at home, lots of punishment, very little ability to decide for themselves what was appropriate behaviour.

/not directed at anyone in particular here
 
2013-05-25 09:22:51 AM
...and I thought a few kids I knew had problems. This is the worst I have seen in a long time.
 
2013-05-25 09:23:51 AM

kdawg7736: ...and I thought a few kids I knew had problems. This is the worst I have seen in a long time.


Maybe she has Asperger's (a form of autism) too.
 
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