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(Guardian)   Women 40% more likely to seek help for mental diseases, men more likely to drink it off   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 46
    More: Obvious, The Stages of Life, cherry picking, anxiety disorders, social change, developed country  
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622 clicks; posted to Geek » on 24 May 2013 at 2:08 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-23 11:22:22 PM
As a man sitting with a beer, wondering if I'm depressed or if everyone and everything is, in fact, terrible... I'm getting a kick.
 
2013-05-24 01:24:43 AM
Illegal drugs are better than booze. Booze makes people feel worse than when they started.
 
2013-05-24 02:11:25 AM

ThatGuyGreg: As a man sitting with a beer, wondering if I'm depressed or if everyone and everything is, in fact, terrible... I'm getting a kick.


Everything is pretty much terrible. Being depressed is normal for most sentient people. The best we can hope for are momentary pleasurable lapses between being doused with wave after wave of the absurd hopelessness of reality.
 
2013-05-24 02:28:57 AM
"Help" is such a self-selective word.
 
2013-05-24 03:03:34 AM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: "Help" is such a self-selective word.


would assistance or treatment be more well? whatever word you choose there are too many people who don't reach out for it or have no money or access for it. too many other reasons as well. many who need professional guidance toward better mental health are not aware of their own need or are in denial.

the people that piss me off are those that are well aware of their diagnosed mental illness but think nothing of having children. when i was first learning about bi-polar disorder in support groups online it was saddening to read comments from many who were going to go off their meds for a pregnancy or have their spouse stop taking his meds until impregnation. it is not guaranteed the child will be born with the illness. and if they are the lucky one they will still be raised by a compromised parent.
 
2013-05-24 03:13:30 AM
I know I possibly need help but I don't have time or the money to seek help at the moment. On the plus side I have started to learn how to help myself. Plus I am skeptical of such help. I know people who have meds and therapy and it helps stabilize them yes, but on the downside they become dependent on such things. So they never really overcome such things.


while I have learned by myself to keep my anxiety in check and to starve off depression. I can't say I won't have bad days as a result, but hopefully there will be less of them as a result.


Suicide has crossed mind several times, or just giving up on everything and using my savings on a one way trip to somewhere. Eh, at the moment though I am OK. Whatever.
 
2013-05-24 03:22:41 AM

ThatGuyGreg: As a man sitting with a beer, wondering if I'm depressed or if everyone and everything is, in fact, terrible... I'm getting a kick.


Farking helps
 
2013-05-24 03:25:16 AM
women talk about their problems

men self-medicate
 
2013-05-24 03:26:27 AM
theheadvsheart.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-24 03:48:11 AM
I'd see someone in a second if I could afford it. Tired of feeling miserable all the time.

Although I will admit reading  the daily litany of human  greed and stupidity here on Fark probably doesn't help.
 
2013-05-24 03:59:46 AM
Sometimes I wonder about how gender structure and society affects these kinds of things.

Disclaimer: the below is an intellectual masturbation. Don't read too much offense into it, it's meant to be an equal critique of the behavior of both men and women, not a hate on one or the other.

Women own the social power in the realm of sexuality. Men are taught that they only have worth the more they can prove themselves to against this sexuality. Problem is, men and women are both human (duh) and both need nearly the same level of social interaction and affection.

Men are excluded from a lot of this interaction due to women rejecting them with vague terms like "creepy" and "perv", and men also compete against each other to be the toughest to gain the hottest chick. Women include themselves in this interaction and gain the benefit of more room to socialize and gain the physical and emotional connection, but lose out by competing against each other to be that "top trophy woman" who is the prize of the men battling for her favor.

All the while, the women wonder why men are such dickbags and the men wonder why women are such ice biatch queens. Men miss out on 9/10 of the attractive wonderful women that come through their lives because they're busy preparing themselves to gain the trophy woman who has positioned herself as the trophy. Women hope that men will magically realize that it was all a game in the first place and finally lay down their weapons and grant that emotional connection. But that doesn't happen, the men are starved for physical and emotional connection and never give up that subconscious fight. Likewise, women never give up that subconscious clawing to the trophy seat.

Therefore, women feel inner angst due to wondering how they have not been able to position themselves as a trophy woman. Men feel outer angst because of the need to compete outwardly for the affection of the trophy woman.

I could go on forever about this, but I feel that in some form, men and women bash each other in this silly game and don't bother to stop and gather enough courage to realize that the other side is a human too.
 
2013-05-24 04:35:54 AM

mjjt: women talk don't talk about their problems

men women and men self-medicate


You had your rationale all backwards and sideways, torusxl is here to feeeeeex it.
 
2013-05-24 04:42:48 AM

ThatGuyGreg: As a man sitting with a beer, wondering if I'm depressed or if everyone and everything is, in fact, terrible... I'm getting a kick.


There's a famous quote that goes something like 'Depression is seeing the world exactly for what it is.'
 
2013-05-24 04:46:13 AM

Old enough to know better: I'd see someone in a second if I could afford it. Tired of feeling miserable all the time.

Although I will admit reading  the daily litany of human  greed and stupidity here on Fark probably doesn't help.


If you have a local university, call their psychology department and ask if they know of any resources. There's a good chance there is help available that doesn't require much/any payment.
 
2013-05-24 05:16:01 AM
Because they have more mental diseases?
 
2013-05-24 05:46:47 AM
s4.hubimg.com

GOTDEMMIT, WHATABOUT THAT GUY? JUST PULL OVER 'N' ASKIM WHERE THE WAFFLE HOUSE AT?


blog.splintr.com

I. KNOW.  WHAT.  I'M.  DOING, WOMAN.
 
2013-05-24 05:46:49 AM

heinrich66: Because they have more mental diseases?


biatches be crazy.

/No... like... for reals.
 
2013-05-24 06:14:32 AM

Old enough to know better: I'd see someone in a second if I could afford it. Tired of feeling miserable all the time.

Although I will admit reading  the daily litany of human  greed and stupidity here on Fark probably doesn't help.


As someone who has just been watching cats being vaccuumed on youtube for close to 20minutes, I feel pretty great right now! But I know that thoughts of suicide will shortly reappear as well as my hopes to be reincarnated as a lazy, trouble-free feline. Sigh


 
2013-05-24 06:21:43 AM

KrispyKritter: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: "Help" is such a self-selective word.

would assistance or treatment be more well? whatever word you choose there are too many people who don't reach out for it or have no money or access for it. too many other reasons as well. many who need professional guidance toward better mental health are not aware of their own need or are in denial.

the people that piss me off are those that are well aware of their diagnosed mental illness but think nothing of having children. when i was first learning about bi-polar disorder in support groups online it was saddening to read comments from many who were going to go off their meds for a pregnancy or have their spouse stop taking his meds until impregnation. it is not guaranteed the child will be born with the illness. and if they are the lucky one they will still be raised by a compromised parent.


^THIS

I have Bipolar Affective Disorder (type 1) and my missus has Mood Disorder NOS (they didn't want to diagnose her as Bipolar because they wanted to see what would happen to her on antidepressants). Now we're engaged we've both gone no farking chance we're having kids. The chances are quite high.

/Neither of us want kids
//Oddly enough there's no history of any disorders anywhere in my family (lots of psychologists though)
 
2013-05-24 06:26:48 AM
As someone suffering horrible depression right now, I'm getting a kick out of these replies!

But seriously, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I only told my wife 2 days ago in case I go all Jekyll and Hyde on her again. (I'm not the kind of person you can look at and tell something's wrong) And the only reason I could tell her is because I was feeling slightly better that day and not seething with irrational anger and paranoia.

But of course I didn't REALLY want to tell her because she suggested antidepressants again, where feeling better is uncertain but side effects ARE certain. The way I look at it is, I've been this way since I was 13 and it's just my personality now. Sometimes it's just a little worse.

/FEELING MUCH BETTER NOW HA HA HEE HEE
//cutting back on sugar & caffeine helps
 
2013-05-24 06:44:41 AM

LDM90: As someone suffering horrible depression right now, I'm getting a kick out of these replies!

But seriously, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I only told my wife 2 days ago in case I go all Jekyll and Hyde on her again. (I'm not the kind of person you can look at and tell something's wrong) And the only reason I could tell her is because I was feeling slightly better that day and not seething with irrational anger and paranoia.

But of course I didn't REALLY want to tell her because she suggested antidepressants again, where feeling better is uncertain but side effects ARE certain. The way I look at it is, I've been this way since I was 13 and it's just my personality now. Sometimes it's just a little worse.

/FEELING MUCH BETTER NOW HA HA HEE HEE
//cutting back on sugar & caffeine helps


Meditation helps. However most don't take the time to get good at it. The idea is to increase mental awareness; watch your mind, see where it naturally goes, and question those thoughts.

What I've found is that how you feel is more of a choice than you believe, even though when you're deeply depressed it certainly doesn't feel like a choice.
 
2013-05-24 07:13:32 AM
That leaves the other 59 percent untreated, dunnit?
 
2013-05-24 07:34:38 AM
Doctors are for pussies.  Fetch me another beer.
 
2013-05-24 08:12:49 AM
I get all depressed when I look at pictures of deep space, but I don't think that's the kind of depression we're talking about
 
2013-05-24 08:16:39 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: ThatGuyGreg: As a man sitting with a beer, wondering if I'm depressed or if everyone and everything is, in fact, terrible... I'm getting a kick.

Everything is pretty much terrible. Being depressed is normal for most sentient people. The best we can hope for are momentary pleasurable lapses between being doused with wave after wave of the absurd hopelessness of reality.


This has been my experience as well. Which is why I'm blasted at 7am.
 
2013-05-24 08:32:22 AM

ThatGuyGreg: e


I am afraid it's them and we will need to amputate before it gets out of hand
 
2013-05-24 08:38:07 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: ThatGuyGreg: As a man sitting with a beer, wondering if I'm depressed or if everyone and everything is, in fact, terrible... I'm getting a kick.

Everything is pretty much terrible. Being depressed is normal for most sentient people. The best we can hope for are momentary pleasurable lapses between being doused with wave after wave of the absurd hopelessness of reality.


WOW go out in the sun, you sound like you need a month in jamaica
 
2013-05-24 08:43:06 AM
FAVORITE QUOTE  EVER

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm, Like an empty beer bottle with nobody worth throwing it at.
 
2013-05-24 09:27:13 AM
I can attest to that!
 
2013-05-24 09:52:55 AM

cman: Illegal drugs are better than booze. Booze makes people feel worse than when they started.


Maybe you, but not everyone. You've gotta know yourself.

Saturday, I plan on getting absolutely bagged on nothing but alcohol I've made myself. Well, the yeast made it, but I combined the ingredients. I anticipate a deeply religious experience.
 
2013-05-24 10:07:11 AM
Lady Indica: very true comic.jpeg.

My last therapist honestly told me to nut up and get laid. I don't go to therapy anymore.
 
2013-05-24 10:31:10 AM
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/  - Depression, Part 2

Read it.  Understand it.  Absorb it.  Then, when you recognize it in others around you, learn how NOT to react, and guide them to help.
 
2013-05-24 10:47:48 AM

ThatGuyGreg: As a man sitting with a beer, wondering if I'm depressed or if everyone and everything is, in fact, terrible... I'm getting a kick.


Trust me, its the latter.
 
2013-05-24 11:24:02 AM
Hi! Is this where I go to tell everyone life sucks and I want to kill my self? Cus you all should STFU up and get over it or just end it.

/I'm kidding! Get some help, you are deppressing the rest of us.
 
2013-05-24 11:48:47 AM
Women are also more likely to believe in astrology. Coincidence?
 
2013-05-24 12:01:56 PM
Hi, I have a theory.... want to hear it? You do? cool....

My theory is the reason so many of us have these mental conditions are because not so long ago we had to work constantly at surviving. Like all day and night long. Looking for food, preparing food, preserving food, making sure you had a stable shelter, staying warm and dry, ect.  Basically your job was to stay alive.

Now within a relatively short time and not given evolution enough time to catch up, we don't have to worry about, literally getting eaten by wolves and such. So our minds have too much idle time to think up some bad thoughts. Most people can make enough money to survive in 8 hrs, and some don't have to work at all.

At least this pertains to me anyway. I have to be working at least 12/14 hours a day, everyday, or I go stir crazy. The only time I take off is to watch my kids baseball games or to play with them.

I don't enjoy TV or movies like most people because my brain won't stop thinking about what I have to do. Going on vacation is a major chore for me because.... well.. how am I going to get anything done.

Basically I'm a caveman.
 
2013-05-24 12:24:58 PM

internut scholar: Hi, I have a theory.... want to hear it? You do? cool....

My theory is the reason so many of us have these mental conditions are because not so long ago we had to work constantly at surviving. Like all day and night long. Looking for food, preparing food, preserving food, making sure you had a stable shelter, staying warm and dry, ect.  Basically your job was to stay alive.

Now within a relatively short time and not given evolution enough time to catch up, we don't have to worry about, literally getting eaten by wolves and such. So our minds have too much idle time to think up some bad thoughts. Most people can make enough money to survive in 8 hrs, and some don't have to work at all.



So, you're theorizing that fear is the driving force behind our survival and progress to this point.  And now in modern society, we've become so successful at remaining alive, the drive is dying off because it's not needed in a day-to-day situation.  Faculties that would normally chose actions based off of that "fear drive" no longer have their needed "fear fuel", and they do unpredictable things.

If true, there are two general outcomes - people and society breaks down to the point where that fear drive is relevant again, or we teach those faculties to work off of something else.
 
2013-05-24 12:28:06 PM

internut scholar: Hi, I have a theory.... want to hear it? You do? cool....

My theory is the reason so many of us have these mental conditions are because not so long ago we had to work constantly at surviving. Like all day and night long. Looking for food, preparing food, preserving food, making sure you had a stable shelter, staying warm and dry, ect.  Basically your job was to stay alive.

Now within a relatively short time and not given evolution enough time to catch up, we don't have to worry about, literally getting eaten by wolves and such. So our minds have too much idle time to think up some bad thoughts. Most people can make enough money to survive in 8 hrs, and some don't have to work at all.

At least this pertains to me anyway. I have to be working at least 12/14 hours a day, everyday, or I go stir crazy. The only time I take off is to watch my kids baseball games or to play with them.

I don't enjoy TV or movies like most people because my brain won't stop thinking about what I have to do. Going on vacation is a major chore for me because.... well.. how am I going to get anything done.

Basically I'm a caveman.


I'm pretty happy being a lazy fark. Enough food, a beach, plenty of reading material, a girl, and some elementary tasks to fulfill everyday and I'm happy. It's the pace of our society that is maddening to me.
 
2013-05-24 12:43:06 PM

The Irrelevant Gamer: Lady Indica: very true comic.jpeg.

My last therapist honestly told me to nut up and get laid. I don't go to therapy anymore.


In my psych program at university I'd say EASILY 80% of the people in it were truly farked up individuals who shouldn't be anywhere near the field. And about 10% were untreated seriously mentally ill. Though it's interesting to see word salad in person.

There's a lot of bad therapists out there. More bad than good I'd say. The best thing to do in the United States, if you have insurance, is talk to your GP first.

When I had PMDD, after a year of seriously bad misery, I sought help through my HMO. I got a noobie therapist, who felt my drug use might be the problem. I had been sick 10 years w/ painful neuro disease which I used vicodin for. I never escalated on pain meds because I hate having my mind foggy and I'm well aware of addiction potential. Anything stronger, I only took when hospitalized. When I went into remission, my neuro gave me a pain script to 'ween' off with. I handed it back to him 30 days later. Unused. :P I use marijuana and another medication to stay in remission with my neuro disease. Therapist thought I needed to go off pot. I was like, okay. whatever. I'll do whatever. I'm willing to try...whatever.

Then they wouldn't let me into their CBT group because I had used pot. I ended up having to talk to the dept head, and go over the 'look, I'm not addicted to anything but cigarettes...and I'm more than willing to not use at all while in group. And if I go out of remission, I'll withdraw from the group...but I'd have to ANYWAY because I'd be in the hospital dumbass.'

Honestly if I hadn't had a clinical psych background where I could at least break through the bullshiat and lay it out...I couldn't have navigated it. I actually laid into the dept head about that. Because depressed people are NOT good advocates for themselves, and making it even a wee bit difficult is farking moronic. *sigh*

Anyhoo, went through all that, did the first round of stuff. It was pretty awful. I'll also say straight out, ANYONE with any background in psych is a pain in the ass. Which is why I'm completely upfront with my background with them, and I will acknowledge that it makes me a pain in the ass. But I'm able to recognize that my rationality is compromised when depressed, so I basically tell them I may ask and challenge, but I'm willing to do whatever. The filter is my BFF if I need one.

So this wasn't helping, and I was getting worse. I went to my GP for something else, and got a new GP (since I had moved to the Bay Area the year before I just never picked one out). The guy was wonderful and talked to me for an hour about the depression, looking at my entire medical history. While I had been sick with the neuro disease, my period stopped. (Not uncommon). I had it induced from time to time (not as often as I should have, but other shiat was going on) but I was completely without one naturally. When I went into remission, my period returned. I've always had PMDD, it was undiagnosed when I was younger. The symptoms largely improved when I had the neuro disease (I wasn't constantly suicidal as I am with PMDD) because my hormones were wonked.

My GP asked if I had anything against trying meds. I was like, oh fark no. I went on prozac. Normally it can take up to 6 weeks to see any change. With PMDD, it can work instantly in some people. For me it worked right away. That night was the first night in over a year I didn't cry myself to sleep.

I had to adjust the medication, and it may also work better for me because I take a VERY low low dose of another antidepressant for an offlabel use (pamelor, blocks nerve pain in my back from the repeated spinal taps, they dmged a nerve bundle. But w/ the low dose, I don't limp). So it may be both combined. I'm on 40 mg of prozac.

I also know that if my PMDD returns and can't be managed with meds, I can have my ovaries removed and that should largely resolve it as well. THat's a huge huge relief to me, knowing there's a 'fix'. Most people with these types of problems don't have that.

Mental illness is a physical disease though. There's some cognitive tricks that can help, but like any illness or injury...at a certain point you have to find a good doc.

The best advice I can give is don't give up, and find a friend or family member who can hang tough with you, and advocate for you when you can't for yourself.

/loves her prozac
 
2013-05-24 01:06:40 PM

Khellendros: So, you're theorizing that fear is the driving force behind our survival and progress to this point. And now in modern society, we've become so successful at remaining alive, the drive is dying off because it's not needed in a day-to-day situation. Faculties that would normally chose actions based off of that "fear drive" no longer have their needed "fear fuel", and they do unpredictable things.

If true, there are two general outcomes - people and society breaks down to the point where that fear drive is relevant again, or we teach those faculties to work off of something else.


I wasn't exclusively thinking "fear" per say, but when I think about it more, I guess you can say that.

And I agree with you about the outcome, if the theory is correct. And I actually think that the former is happening.
 
2013-05-24 01:07:29 PM

MayoSlather: I'm pretty happy being a lazy fark. Enough food, a beach, plenty of reading material, a girl, and some elementary tasks to fulfill everyday and I'm happy. It's the pace of our society that is maddening to me.


See? you are more evolved than me. lol
 
2013-05-24 01:22:38 PM

internut scholar: Khellendros: So, you're theorizing that fear is the driving force behind our survival and progress to this point. And now in modern society, we've become so successful at remaining alive, the drive is dying off because it's not needed in a day-to-day situation. Faculties that would normally chose actions based off of that "fear drive" no longer have their needed "fear fuel", and they do unpredictable things.

If true, there are two general outcomes - people and society breaks down to the point where that fear drive is relevant again, or we teach those faculties to work off of something else.

I wasn't exclusively thinking "fear" per say, but when I think about it more, I guess you can say that.

And I agree with you about the outcome, if the theory is correct. And I actually think that the former is happening.


I thought about it for a bit before choosing fear as the right driver.  Humans only have a few primitive drivers base enough to drive the type of large scale, cross-culture trends like this.  Otherwise, it would likely have to be some external driver, like a virus or other biological agent.

And I don't think the former is happening yet - depression and suicidal tendencies haven't grown to the point that they're threatening the technological or industrial stability of our day to day lives yet.  But given enough time.... yep, it could be a problem.  Feedback loops are a biatch.
 
2013-05-24 08:31:07 PM
Lady Indica: Words

Wow. I'm glad you found something that works for you though it sounds like it was a long, arduous process. Of course it always is with these things isn't it?

Neither meds nor therapy ever did much other than even me out for about a month before dosages needed increased and sessions failed to make me feel any more hopeful or capable, but in the end losing faith in both may have been beneficial. My therapist telling me to get laid was the catalyst I needed to stop mucking about after so many years of what felt like running in place. I stopped going to therapy, threw my meds in the trash, and re-enrolled in college. A few years later I've graduated, gotten married, and am searching for a career. I've made remarkable progress through simply being too stubborn to give up. Adopting zen as a personal philosophy has helped too. Simply living life can still be a struggle at times, but I'm miles ahead of where I was.
 
2013-05-24 09:17:14 PM

internut scholar: My theory is the reason so many of us have these mental conditions are because not so long ago we had to work constantly at surviving. Like all day and night long. Looking for food, preparing food, preserving food, making sure you had a stable shelter, staying warm and dry, ect. Basically your job was to stay alive.


Unfortunately for your theory hunter gatherers spend less time on "survival" tasks and have more leisure time than we do in our modern times.

stryed: s someone who has just been watching cats being vaccuumed on youtube for close to 20minutes, I feel pretty great right now! But I know that thoughts of suicide will shortly reappear as well as my hopes to be reincarnated as a lazy, trouble-free feline. Sigh


Find the one of the cat meowing in the bath.  It always cheers me up.
 
2013-05-25 11:01:17 AM

LDM90: As someone suffering horrible depression right now, I'm getting a kick out of these replies!

But seriously, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I only told my wife 2 days ago in case I go all Jekyll and Hyde on her again. (I'm not the kind of person you can look at and tell something's wrong) And the only reason I could tell her is because I was feeling slightly better that day and not seething with irrational anger and paranoia.

But of course I didn't REALLY want to tell her because she suggested antidepressants again, where feeling better is uncertain but side effects ARE certain. The way I look at it is, I've been this way since I was 13 and it's just my personality now. Sometimes it's just a little worse.

/FEELING MUCH BETTER NOW HA HA HEE HEE
//cutting back on sugar & caffeine helps



My problem is that people kept attaching how I acted to my personality and saying that that was just how I was. Ends up that I have a whole litany of symptoms (VA moved away from titles) of various personality disorders that are finally being treated. I asked my fiancé for help and she just kept telling me to go see someone. Gee thanks, why didn't I think of that?

If you don't like the antidepressant that they offer, then ask for another. First script I got was Prozac and Xanax. Horrible. After that I've gone through a few more then ended up on mood stabilizers and it's made quite the difference. Suicidal thoughts are down, homelessness due to wandering away from my life is down, and I'm starting on new goals. Of course I am extremely lucky due to my veteran status and the access to help that is available even though I am not disabled due to military service. I so wish for single payer universal health care for Americans.
 
2013-05-25 01:38:08 PM

if_i_really_have_to: internut scholar: My theory is the reason so many of us have these mental conditions are because not so long ago we had to work constantly at surviving. Like all day and night long. Looking for food, preparing food, preserving food, making sure you had a stable shelter, staying warm and dry, ect. Basically your job was to stay alive.

Unfortunately for your theory hunter gatherers spend less time on "survival" tasks and have more leisure time than we do in our modern times.

stryed: s someone who has just been watching cats being vaccuumed on youtube for close to 20minutes, I feel pretty great right now! But I know that thoughts of suicide will shortly reappear as well as my hopes to be reincarnated as a lazy, trouble-free feline. Sigh

Find the one of the cat meowing in the bath.  It always cheers me up.


http://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/ted-kaczynski-the-truth-about-p rimitive-life-a-critique-of-anarchoprimitivism

Don't think so.

Makes for a feel good story though.
 
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