If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SFGate)   Rubbing Alcohol sold as Scotch in New Jersey. That's the joke   (sfgate.com) divider line 82
    More: Followup, New Jersey, franchisee, Northern New Jersey  
•       •       •

3890 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 May 2013 at 2:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



82 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-23 08:25:45 PM  
 
2013-05-23 08:46:15 PM  
Well, it's a kind of alcohol.
 
2013-05-23 11:24:22 PM  
If you ever refer to TGI Friday's as "the bar", kill yourself.
 
2013-05-23 11:28:25 PM  
Doesn't rubbing alcohol make you go blind or kill you?
 
2013-05-23 11:32:19 PM  

Tony_Pepperoni: Doesn't rubbing alcohol make you go blind or kill you?


No, but rubbing might.
 
2013-05-23 11:59:21 PM  
I can understand selling cheaper scotch as more expensive scotch, because only the drunks are going to notice.  But colored ethanol water?  That's a reach.  You don't have to be an expert to notice that.

When they launched the "small batch" bourbon group about 20 years ago, you couldn't get Knob Creek anywhere in DC except for a few restaurants.  I was out with my wife and in-laws as a steakhouse that had it on the menu, so I ordered one as the after dinner drink - neat, because you want that stuff to evaporate on your tongue.  They brought me something that wasn't Knob Creek.  So I told the waiter, "This isn't Knob Creek, I think i accidentally got a Maker's Mark."  So he took it back and brought me another.  Again, it wasn't Knob Creek.  So I told the waiter "This isn't Knob Creek, it tastes more like Woodford Reserve."

So the waiter disappeared and came back empty handed and admitted that they had run out of Knob Creek.  But, he mentioned, "we're all pretty impressed you identified what we gave you.  Can we get you something else on the house?"

That prompted my father-in-law to look at my wife and ask "exactly how much bourbon does he drink?"  And the answer to that question was:  entirely too much.  It's one thing to suspect you aren't drinking your own brand of bourbon.  It's quite another to identify the OTHER brands of bourbon someone has given you.
 
2013-05-24 12:27:53 AM  
It's green...
 
2013-05-24 12:32:14 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: It's green...


And guaranteed to knock you on your ass. Unless you're dextro DNA like me. If you are, it'll kill you
 
2013-05-24 12:48:57 AM  

the_sidewinder: MaudlinMutantMollusk: It's green...

And guaranteed to knock you on your ass. Unless you're dextro DNA like me. If you are, it'll kill you


Missed the reference did you, laddie?
 
2013-05-24 01:19:38 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Missed the reference did you, laddie?


Nope, just picked up on a different one


/You have any more?
 
2013-05-24 01:58:18 AM  
Jersey Scotch hipsters just lost their boners. They all thought it was some great new special reserve or something that only they knew about.
 
2013-05-24 02:15:39 AM  

8 inches: Tony_Pepperoni: Doesn't rubbing alcohol make you go blind or kill you?

No, but rubbing might.


Win.

But seriously...rubbing alcohol? What in the blueberry fark?  o_O
 
2013-05-24 02:17:23 AM  
Meh. I'll give a whirl. Hand that over this way...
 
2013-05-24 02:18:25 AM  
Good enough for Ned Land, good enough for me.
 
2013-05-24 02:19:29 AM  
I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?
 
2013-05-24 02:23:28 AM  

A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?


Pretty much. They're lucky no one got sick from it.
 
2013-05-24 02:26:19 AM  

A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?


Rubbing alcohol, also known as ethanol or "grain alcohol" is the same alcohol that's in liquor and beer, only at a much higher concentration. They take the pure 200 proof alcohol and mix it with things like distilled ashes (for whiskey), potatoes (for vodka), cactus (for tequila), etc... Rubbing alcohol is the main ingredient in spirits, similar to how carbonated water is the main ingredient in soda.
 
2013-05-24 02:31:01 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: It's green...


Aldebaran Whisky?
 
2013-05-24 02:31:33 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Rubbing alcohol, also known as ethanol or "grain alcohol" is the same alcohol that's in liquor and beer,


No, "rubbing alcohol" is isopropanol (3 carbon atoms, vs. the 2 in ethanol).
 
2013-05-24 02:32:14 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?

Rubbing alcohol, also known as ethanol or "grain alcohol" is the same alcohol that's in liquor and beer, only at a much higher concentration. They take the pure 200 proof alcohol and mix it with things like distilled ashes (for whiskey), potatoes (for vodka), cactus (for tequila), etc... Rubbing alcohol is the main ingredient in spirits, similar to how carbonated water is the main ingredient in soda.


Um... No .
 
2013-05-24 02:32:23 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?

Rubbing alcohol, also known as ethanol or "grain alcohol" is the same alcohol that's in liquor and beer, only at a much higher concentration. They take the pure 200 proof alcohol and mix it with things like distilled ashes (for whiskey), potatoes (for vodka), cactus (for tequila), etc... Rubbing alcohol is the main ingredient in spirits, similar to how carbonated water is the main ingredient in soda.


No, it's mostly made from Isopropyl alcohol, which is toxic to humans, though not quite as deadly as methanol.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isopropyl_alcohol
 
2013-05-24 02:37:05 AM  
(North Jersey resident and drunk)

Fine these places into oblivion or yank their liquor license outright. The bastards who sold adulterated product need to face some jail time. Product tampering is a federal crime and I hope that the authorities throw the book at these farkwits. Just because some customers are clearly rubes doesn't mean they deserve to get ripped off. Or poisoned.

TGI Fridays also has some serious explaining to do. This wasn't just a crooked bartender skimming their employer, this was endemic fraud at numerous locations. I'm not surprised in the least that they were probably selling frozen or sweet mixed drinks made with "Premium" alcohol.
 
2013-05-24 02:39:02 AM  
Rubbing alcohol is often ethanol with POISON added to it.

They call the poison "denaturing".  No, it's quite often just methanol, which to humans is definitely poison.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denatured_alcohol

If people were served methanol, a lot of these idiots will be looking at jail cells.

Given that this all came to light due to "An informant with knowledge of the industry" - also known as a disgruntled former employee, the authorities probably have a pretty good idea who the ringleaders are.
 
2013-05-24 02:41:15 AM  

CraicBaby: A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?

Pretty much. They're lucky no one got sick from it.


Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.
 
2013-05-24 02:44:05 AM  

ShadowKamui: CraicBaby: A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?

Pretty much. They're lucky no one got sick from it.

Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.


...So, it wouldn't be toxic, unless we added toxic stuff to make it smell bad, in order to let people know that it's toxic?

Well. That seems like a well thought out plan.
 
2013-05-24 02:44:21 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?

Rubbing alcohol, also known as ethanol or "grain alcohol" is the same alcohol that's in liquor and beer, only at a much higher concentration. They take the pure 200 proof alcohol and mix it with things like distilled ashes (for whiskey), potatoes (for vodka), cactus (for tequila), etc... Rubbing alcohol is the main ingredient in spirits, similar to how carbonated water is the main ingredient in soda.


Rubbing alcohol can be either ethanol or isopropyl alcohol. But most likely it is made from isopropyl, which is poisonous.
 
2013-05-24 02:48:44 AM  
The Palace Saloon   Fernandina Beach, FL  will charge you the Patron price for Jose.
Thought I forgot about it didn't Ya bastards!
 
2013-05-24 02:51:35 AM  

Bumblefark: ShadowKamui: CraicBaby: A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?

Pretty much. They're lucky no one got sick from it.

Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.

...So, it wouldn't be toxic, unless we added toxic stuff to make it smell bad, in order to let people know that it's toxic?

Well. That seems like a well thought out plan.


The point is to make sure you don't drink it because it needs to be used for something else more important (surgery). That's assuming they aren't using isopropyl which is toxic from the start.
 
2013-05-24 02:52:34 AM  

PiffMan420: (North Jersey resident and drunk)

Fine these places into oblivion or yank their liquor license outright. The bastards who sold adulterated product need to face some jail time. Product tampering is a federal crime and I hope that the authorities throw the book at these farkwits. Just because some customers are clearly rubes doesn't mean they deserve to get ripped off. Or poisoned.

TGI Fridays also has some serious explaining to do. This wasn't just a crooked bartender skimming their employer, this was endemic fraud at numerous locations. I'm not surprised in the least that they were probably selling frozen or sweet mixed drinks made with "Premium" alcohol.


good point. multiple locations of one franchise means this isn't one manager pilfering the good stock for their own consumption. this may trace back to one owner management company making it clear what they wanted done. farking with what people put in their bodies should carry a stiff sentence.
 
2013-05-24 02:58:02 AM  

Lsherm: I can understand selling cheaper scotch as more expensive scotch, because only the drunks are going to notice.  But colored ethanol water?  That's a reach.  You don't have to be an expert to notice that.

When they launched the "small batch" bourbon group about 20 years ago, you couldn't get Knob Creek anywhere in DC except for a few restaurants.  I was out with my wife and in-laws as a steakhouse that had it on the menu, so I ordered one as the after dinner drink - neat, because you want that stuff to evaporate on your tongue.  They brought me something that wasn't Knob Creek.  So I told the waiter, "This isn't Knob Creek, I think i accidentally got a Maker's Mark."  So he took it back and brought me another.  Again, it wasn't Knob Creek.  So I told the waiter "This isn't Knob Creek, it tastes more like Woodford Reserve."

So the waiter disappeared and came back empty handed and admitted that they had run out of Knob Creek.  But, he mentioned, "we're all pretty impressed you identified what we gave you.  Can we get you something else on the house?"

That prompted my father-in-law to look at my wife and ask "exactly how much bourbon does he drink?"  And the answer to that question was:  entirely too much.  It's one thing to suspect you aren't drinking your own brand of bourbon.  It's quite another to identify the OTHER brands of bourbon someone has given you.


I was pretty sure there was going to be a pretty good joke until the last paragraph.
 
2013-05-24 02:58:34 AM  
Yes, it's poisioned on purpose.

ShadowKamui: Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.


I'm pretty sure it's illegal to sell un-poisoned rubbing alcohol in the US.  If it's not "denatured" (AKA poisoned), it would be drinkable and therfore subject to significant taxes.

As far as I know, only regulated medical laboratories and industries are able to purchase pure ethanol.  It's not called "rubbing alcohol", and in small quantities I doubt it's any cheaper than vodak.
 
2013-05-24 02:59:55 AM  
I was a bar-back in a nice place in Palm Springs back in the day and they made us fill all the premium wine bottles with boxed wine.
 
2013-05-24 03:00:02 AM  

ShadowKamui: Bumblefark: ShadowKamui: CraicBaby: A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?

Pretty much. They're lucky no one got sick from it.

Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.

...So, it wouldn't be toxic, unless we added toxic stuff to make it smell bad, in order to let people know that it's toxic?

Well. That seems like a well thought out plan.

The point is to make sure you don't drink it because it needs to be used for something else more important (surgery). That's assuming they aren't using isopropyl which is toxic from the start.


If you got people in your surgical ward looking to get their drink on, that might be the problem right there. Not the lack of deterrent. If we can trust them to be around powerful narcotics, I'm guessing we can trust them to be around unadulterated ethanol. (Isopropyl based rubbing alcohol, that's a different issue.)

It's pushing 2 am where I'm at, so I'm feeling less than my usual nerdy self. Too late to do the research. But, I have to guess this is some silly holdover from prohibition.
 
2013-05-24 03:01:36 AM  

Lsherm: I can understand selling cheaper scotch as more expensive scotch, because only the drunks are going to notice.  But colored ethanol water?  That's a reach.  You don't have to be an expert to notice that.

When they launched the "small batch" bourbon group about 20 years ago, you couldn't get Knob Creek anywhere in DC except for a few restaurants.  I was out with my wife and in-laws as a steakhouse that had it on the menu, so I ordered one as the after dinner drink - neat, because you want that stuff to evaporate on your tongue.  They brought me something that wasn't Knob Creek.  So I told the waiter, "This isn't Knob Creek, I think i accidentally got a Maker's Mark."  So he took it back and brought me another.  Again, it wasn't Knob Creek.  So I told the waiter "This isn't Knob Creek, it tastes more like Woodford Reserve."

So the waiter disappeared and came back empty handed and admitted that they had run out of Knob Creek.  But, he mentioned, "we're all pretty impressed you identified what we gave you.  Can we get you something else on the house?"

That prompted my father-in-law to look at my wife and ask "exactly how much bourbon does he drink?"  And the answer to that question was:  entirely too much.  It's one thing to suspect you aren't drinking your own brand of bourbon.  It's quite another to identify the OTHER brands of bourbon someone has given you.


if this is true... yeah, you are an alcoholic, lol
and very awesome one at that
 
2013-05-24 03:05:05 AM  

RandomRandom: Yes, it's poisioned on purpose.ShadowKamui: Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.

I'm pretty sure it's illegal to sell un-poisoned rubbing alcohol in the US.  If it's not "denatured" (AKA poisoned), it would be drinkable and therfore subject to significant taxes.


Yup.  It's part of a compromise between industry and government.  Denaturing the alcohol frees them of a hefty tax burden placed on the sale of ethanol for consumption.  Denaturing the ethanol allows the manufacturer to sell it for purposes other than consumption at a significantly lower cost.
 
2013-05-24 03:06:25 AM  

ShadowKamui: Bumblefark: ShadowKamui: CraicBaby: A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?

Pretty much. They're lucky no one got sick from it.

Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.

...So, it wouldn't be toxic, unless we added toxic stuff to make it smell bad, in order to let people know that it's toxic?

Well. That seems like a well thought out plan.

The point is to make sure you don't drink it because it needs to be used for something else more important (surgery). That's assuming they aren't using isopropyl which is toxic from the start.


No, the point is to not let people get drunk on 79 cent/pint 140 proof booze.  You trying to ruin a good thing?
 
2013-05-24 03:06:59 AM  

RandomRandom: Rubbing alcohol is often ethanol with POISON added to it.

They call the poison "denaturing".  No, it's quite often just methanol, which to humans is definitely poison.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denatured_alcohol

If people were served methanol, a lot of these idiots will be looking at jail cells.

Given that this all came to light due to "An informant with knowledge of the industry" - also known as a disgruntled former employee, the authorities probably have a pretty good idea who the ringleaders are.


Denatured alcohol has no water left in it. This is done by adding benzene and decanting. It is the easiest way to remove the water and the benzene can be reacted out if it could be a problem in a reaction. Benzene is poisonous and a  massive carcinogen. Distillation never produces pure alcohol and always leaves some water afterwards. Also, the yeast that makes the alcohol does not always produce ethanol during its process. Many other alcohols are made. The reason the distilled spirits don't make you sick is that ethanol is still the main ingredient of the process and is the treatment for consuming poisonous alcohols. (on a side note, ethanol consumption treats many poisons)

\http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmqcnlaRA68">http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=dmqcnlaRA68 (benzene)
//http://www.bt.cdc.gov/agent/benzene/basics/facts.asp (more benzene, but not a dangerous dose)
\\http://www.rsc.org/chemistryworld/News/2010/May/27051001.asp (tri ple distilled vodkas. Grey Goose is crap, btw)
\\\http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methanol (methanol wiki page, has the poison treatment. You should still go to a doctor for it)

\\//slashies give me POWER!

...and beer makes me cite just for you to make sure you learn a little chemistry today.
 
2013-05-24 03:14:35 AM  
Never drink from an open bottle of whiskey.
 
2013-05-24 03:16:59 AM  

LoneCraneFullMoon: RandomRandom: Yes, it's poisioned on purpose.ShadowKamui: Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.

I'm pretty sure it's illegal to sell un-poisoned rubbing alcohol in the US.  If it's not "denatured" (AKA poisoned), it would be drinkable and therfore subject to significant taxes.

Yup.  It's part of a compromise between industry and government.  Denaturing the alcohol frees them of a hefty tax burden placed on the sale of ethanol for consumption.  Denaturing the ethanol allows the manufacturer to sell it for purposes other than consumption at a significantly lower cost.


RandomRandom: Yes, it's poisioned on purpose.ShadowKamui: Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.

I'm pretty sure it's illegal to sell un-poisoned rubbing alcohol in the US.  If it's not "denatured" (AKA poisoned), it would be drinkable and therfore subject to significant taxes.

As far as I know, only regulated medical laboratories and industries are able to purchase pure ethanol.  It's not called "rubbing alcohol", and in small quantities I doubt it's any cheaper than vodak.


Chemically produced ethanol is not all that regulated for sale, but it is illegal to sell for human consumption in many states because of local laws for many reasons. I know for a fact that any researcher in Washington state can buy it and pay the price to have no benzene present (see my previous post), but it costs an arm and a leg since the demand is so limited since they can't sell it for consumption and many customers want it denatured to remove the water.

Also, were in the he** is the ATF on this? And the department that requires truth in labeling for consumer goods? Easy conviction and plenty of headlines showing the congressional budget committee that you are pulling your bureaucratic weight.
 
2013-05-24 03:18:37 AM  

UsikFark: Never drink from an open bottle of whiskey.


Sad that we have to come back to that point. Can I declare myself a dentist yet?

\I want an excuse to pistol whip drunks
 
2013-05-24 03:18:48 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: the_sidewinder: MaudlinMutantMollusk: It's green...

And guaranteed to knock you on your ass. Unless you're dextro DNA like me. If you are, it'll kill you

Missed the reference did you, laddie?


Turian or quarian?
 
2013-05-24 03:20:29 AM  
Lsherm:
That prompted my father-in-law to look at my wife and ask "exactly how much bourbon does he drink?"  And the answer to that question was:  entirely too much.  It's one thing to suspect you aren't drinking your own brand of bourbon.  It's quite another to identify the OTHER brands of bourbon someone has given you.

You may have just invented the occupation of Bourbon Sommelier.
 
2013-05-24 03:22:44 AM  

Kalashinator: MaudlinMutantMollusk: the_sidewinder: MaudlinMutantMollusk: It's green...

And guaranteed to knock you on your ass. Unless you're dextro DNA like me. If you are, it'll kill you

Missed the reference did you, laddie?

Turian or quarian?


Minbari.
 
2013-05-24 03:24:39 AM  
To try to swindle the residents of New Jersey out of the only thing there is to do there is a crime against humanity.
 
2013-05-24 03:27:49 AM  
Again? Didn't this just happen yesterday?
 
2013-05-24 03:28:25 AM  
Oh, its a follow up.

/Objection withdrawn
 
2013-05-24 03:30:49 AM  
Yeah, they call it Laphroaig
 
2013-05-24 03:51:02 AM  

ShadowKamui: Bumblefark: ShadowKamui: CraicBaby: A Terrible Human: I've had cheap vodak that's tasted exactly how rubbing alcohol smells. Isn't there something in rubbing alcohol that can fark your organs up?

Pretty much. They're lucky no one got sick from it.

Depends rubbing alchol can also just mean ethanol (aka everclear), though its usually denatured w/ methanol to make it smell bad and be toxic.

...So, it wouldn't be toxic, unless we added toxic stuff to make it smell bad, in order to let people know that it's toxic?

Well. That seems like a well thought out plan.

The point is to make sure you don't drink it because it needs to be used for something else more important (surgery). That's assuming they aren't using isopropyl which is toxic from the start.


No, it's because they don't want people buying the stuff and getting drunk off of it. Ethanol, when sold as rubbing alcohol, is quite cheap compared to hard liquor, and its sales aren't regulated the way alcoholic beverage sales are. It has to be denatured to prevent certain "off label" usage.
 
2013-05-24 04:02:34 AM  
rubbing alcohol? shiat  that's some prohibition era shenanigans.
 
2013-05-24 04:03:14 AM  

cc_rider: 8 inches: Tony_Pepperoni: Doesn't rubbing alcohol make you go blind or kill you?

No, but rubbing might.

Win.

But seriously...rubbing alcohol? What in the blueberry fark?  o_O


Blueberry Fark is the latest Glenlivet experiment.

They've got to experiment, since they don't really know how to make scotch anymore.
 
Displayed 50 of 82 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report