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(Buzzfeed)   Proof that Heinz sight is 20/20, investors are pouring money into condiment futures instead of bonds   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 53
    More: Strange, treasury securities, convertible bonds, Kellogg Company, economicses, Citibank  
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2818 clicks; posted to Business » on 23 May 2013 at 9:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-23 06:42:27 PM
That Soylent Green is going to need some flavor.
 
2013-05-23 06:58:43 PM
They're just trying to recover from the economic downturn.
Playing ketchup, if you will.
 
2013-05-23 07:03:59 PM

CaptSacto: They're just trying to recover from the economic downturn.
Playing ketchup, if you will.


Yes, but shrewd investors will relish the opportunity to see an increase in profit.
 
2013-05-23 07:11:19 PM

The English Major: CaptSacto: They're just trying to recover from the economic downturn.
Playing ketchup, if you will.

Yes, but shrewd investors will relish the opportunity to see an increase in profit.


Hopefully, we won't end up in another pickle.
 
2013-05-23 08:09:13 PM
This report seems to cut the mustard

/and the cheese
//fart joke
 
2013-05-23 08:26:21 PM
Trying to curry favor with Wall Street.
 
2013-05-23 09:30:44 PM
plochmann's is the best yellow mustard
 
2013-05-23 09:31:21 PM
Butbutbutbutbutbut JOHN "FRENCHIE" KERRY!11!!

/what next, DIJON MUSTARD????
 
2013-05-23 09:32:34 PM
Consumer Foodstuffs price volatility hedge.

This really isn't all that funny if true.

At least not when you're hungry, it's hilarious to them of course either way.
 
2013-05-23 09:34:01 PM
 
2013-05-23 09:34:45 PM
Wait, there are BuzzFeed links on Fark that AREN'T sponsored links? It's a Miracle (Whip)!

/sorry
 
2013-05-23 09:35:53 PM
They're going to have a hard time getting profits out then whack the commodity market really hard and it's going to spill all over the place.
 
2013-05-23 09:36:10 PM
Bullshiat subby.


Everyone knows that Heinz sight is 57/57.
 
2013-05-23 09:37:10 PM
So let me guess. The price of mustard is going to start creeping up?


fark, I better stock up.
 
2013-05-23 09:37:23 PM
Duh, catsup goes great with a lot of food...fries of course and hotdogs (hold the mustard), but steak, fish sticks, eggs, baked potato, salmon...it truly is the wonder condiment.
 
2013-05-23 09:37:47 PM
Condom Mints?

Sounds distasteful.
 
2013-05-23 09:38:25 PM

CaptSacto: The English Major: CaptSacto: They're just trying to recover from the economic downturn.
Playing ketchup, if you will.

Yes, but shrewd investors will relish the opportunity to see an increase in profit.

Hopefully, we won't end up in another pickle.


I'm not so sure about the whole dill.
 
2013-05-23 09:38:27 PM
At this point getting Wall Street straightened out would take a miracle. Whip the banking system into shape and everything else will follow though.
 
2013-05-23 09:40:16 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

Should i invest in ketchup or catsup?
 
2013-05-23 09:42:50 PM
mayo investment pay high returns
 
2013-05-23 09:48:41 PM
This makes perfect sense. The futures market is so esoteric, so convoluted, so weird, that one has to stay safe and use condiments
 
2013-05-23 09:49:53 PM
Accept no substitute.
usedrecordsandtires.files.wordpress.com
/hot (waddya expect; it's horseradish mustard)
 
2013-05-23 09:52:49 PM
We must not allow a condiment gap.
 
2013-05-23 09:53:25 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Butbutbutbutbutbut JOHN "FRENCHIE" KERRY!11!!

/what next, DIJON MUSTARD????


Actually, Berkshire Hathaway (Warren Buffet) owns half of Heinz.
 
2013-05-23 09:58:43 PM
The real winner I this game s John Kerry, who divorced a chick worth $400 mil to marry Patricia Heinz at $600 mil.
 
2013-05-23 09:58:43 PM

99.998er: Pants full of macaroni!!: Butbutbutbutbutbut JOHN "FRENCHIE" KERRY!11!!

/what next, DIJON MUSTARD????

Actually, Berkshire Hathaway (Warren Buffet) owns half of Heinz.


Well. I reckon that's one way to insure you'll always have catsup on tap
 
2013-05-23 09:59:03 PM
When Obamas FEMA camps are up and running, each catsup packet will make a cup of nourishing tomato soup.
You'll eat it and like it citizen, or it's back to the moist towelette squeezins for you!
 
2013-05-23 09:59:29 PM
Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!
 
2013-05-23 10:00:40 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Butbutbutbutbutbut JOHN "FRENCHIE" KERRY!11!!

/what next, DIJON MUSTARD????


Kinda proves her sight isn't 20/20. Kerry is undoubtedly a victim of the ugly stick. Woof!
 
2013-05-23 10:02:01 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: catsup


ketchup. wierdo
 
2013-05-23 10:03:27 PM
CORRECTION:  Should have said :  "Teresa  Heinz."

Sorry 'bout that.
 
2013-05-23 10:05:49 PM
1. Went "WTF is Salad Cream"
2. Looked it up
3. Brits.... shoulda figured
 
2013-05-23 10:15:14 PM

dletter: "WTF is Salad Cream"


Product of a well tossed salad??
 
2013-05-23 10:22:18 PM
The article was terrible, but it was worth the ballad of puns you guys have made here.
 
2013-05-23 10:35:17 PM

BigLuca: At this point getting Wall Street straightened out would take a miracle. Whip the banking system into shape and everything else will follow though.


Ridiculous. Wall Street is the Best. You're going to Hell, man (east of the Rockies, of course).
 
2013-05-23 10:45:28 PM
Heinz and Kellogg are both Monsanto brands
 
2013-05-23 10:49:08 PM
Good move. The bonds were A1.

/steak purist
 
2013-05-23 10:50:32 PM
Another Mayo Clinic study.
 
2013-05-23 11:02:50 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-23 11:05:32 PM
The Salt and Pepper suits are returning to the markets, asking themselves, What would Warren Buffet buy?
 
2013-05-23 11:10:07 PM

dletter: 1. Went "WTF is Salad Cream"
2. Looked it up
3. Brits.... shoulda figured


Reminds me of the Red Dwarf episode where Kowchanski is peeved because Dave keepers his salad cream in the cupboard and his trainers in the refrigerator.

Imagine what must be in the stuff if you can keep it unrefrigerated. It must be like pickles or cheese: it can't spoil because it is technically already spoiled.

I've kept bottles of mayonnaise for years running but I don't actually dare eat them after a month or two.
 
2013-05-23 11:28:49 PM
Is this a viral pump and dump?
Just asking.
 
2013-05-23 11:33:33 PM
sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net

We has to explain Blue Bell earlier to folks.

Now, it's time to school them on Whataburger Fancy Ketchup and HEB.
 
2013-05-23 11:34:35 PM
had


/schooling self
 
2013-05-23 11:38:41 PM
What's that subby? A tomato-based sauce with condominit?
markchanski.files.wordpress.com
Sausage jokes? Yeah I've seen this porn before.
 
2013-05-23 11:46:50 PM

dletter: "WTF is Salad Cream"


Santorum.
 
2013-05-24 01:15:24 AM
ecx.images-amazon.com

Aus Deutschland.
 
2013-05-24 01:17:40 AM
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-05-24 01:36:30 AM
i.imgur.com

And then the fixed-income specialist drove off, not even having applied the mustard to his pork loin, so chase was given, and although there may have been a little volatility, all losses were ultimately recouped in splendid fashion.
 
2013-05-24 05:40:03 AM

Sock Ruh Tease: Should i invest in ketchup or catsup?


Shakes tiny fist.
 
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