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(Sydney Morning Herald)   How to steal the mini-bar like a boss   (smh.com.au) divider line 209
    More: Asinine, hotel management, receptionists  
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17445 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2013 at 12:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-23 04:12:26 AM
Well, that was morally uplifting.
 
2013-05-23 05:00:06 AM
That was farking awesome.
 
2013-05-23 06:28:36 AM
So being a lieing sack will get you free cashews and booze.whoopdedoo.
I'd rather have a semblance of integrity ,if you please .
 
2013-05-23 07:56:01 AM
The only useful bit of advice in there was the 'how to get an upgrade' one.  The rest of them made me feel like I needed to go wash my hands to try to get the 'how did my life go so wrong' stink off of them
 
2013-05-23 09:13:56 AM
You want to steal movies?  Get a USB TV tuner and watch them on your laptop, the access to the movies is controlled by which channels you can tune to.
 
2013-05-23 09:21:48 AM
I don't even take the small bottles of shampoo and conditioner from the showers because I feel guilty. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I stole an entire mini-bar's worth of booze.
 
2013-05-23 09:44:08 AM

miss diminutive: I don't even take the small bottles of shampoo and conditioner from the showers because I feel guilty. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I stole an entire mini-bar's worth of booze.


I don't remember why I have you favorited in green, but you are. So there. :P

As a frequent stayer at billeting, I have an impressive collection of little shampoo and conditioner bottles. Hell, I'm a guy and have too short hair for conditioner, but I have them anyway. I'd so look drunkenly at myself in the mirror after the mini-bar full of booze. Bummer most bases don't have them. :(
 
2013-05-23 09:48:42 AM
Yeah, I'd never steal from the minibar and I'm too shy to do the $20 bribe thing. I'd be afraid they would look at me like "WTF?"
 
2013-05-23 09:53:01 AM
Don't you have a phone/tablet to steal movies like normal people? Is it too hard to go to the corner store across the street and load up on snacks?
 
2013-05-23 09:56:51 AM

Spad31: miss diminutive: I don't even take the small bottles of shampoo and conditioner from the showers because I feel guilty. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I stole an entire mini-bar's worth of booze.

I don't remember why I have you favorited in green, but you are. So there. :P

As a frequent stayer at billeting, I have an impressive collection of little shampoo and conditioner bottles. Hell, I'm a guy and have too short hair for conditioner, but I have them anyway. I'd so look drunkenly at myself in the mirror after the mini-bar full of booze. Bummer most bases don't have them. :(


It's not like I never steal, in fact I'm a total hypocrite. I haven't watched a single show in months that wasn't "legally streamed from a reputable and completely legitimate source".

But there's something about filling a suitcase full of booze that just makes me feel dirty.
 
2013-05-23 09:57:39 AM
That plan has a lot of holes in it.  You don't think people take notes on accounts just switch a room that some jackass smoked in without question?  The computer age if anything makes keeping tabs on customers even easier.

Hell even restaurants keep dossiers on customers, I'm sure the hotel industry does the same.
 
2013-05-23 10:23:28 AM
But can I steal the bar like a mini-boss?
 
2013-05-23 10:34:14 AM
Meh, I'm not a dirtbag.
 
2013-05-23 10:34:49 AM
An asshole maybe, but not a dirtbag.
 
2013-05-23 10:35:26 AM

miss diminutive: Spad31: miss diminutive: I don't even take the small bottles of shampoo and conditioner from the showers because I feel guilty. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I stole an entire mini-bar's worth of booze.

I don't remember why I have you favorited in green, but you are. So there. :P

As a frequent stayer at billeting, I have an impressive collection of little shampoo and conditioner bottles. Hell, I'm a guy and have too short hair for conditioner, but I have them anyway. I'd so look drunkenly at myself in the mirror after the mini-bar full of booze. Bummer most bases don't have them. :(

It's not like I never steal, in fact I'm a total hypocrite. I haven't watched a single show in months that wasn't "legally streamed from a reputable and completely legitimate source".

But there's something about filling a suitcase full of booze that just makes me feel dirty.


Well, love, there's the problem! You're not supposed to fill the suitcase with the booze! :P
 
2013-05-23 10:58:03 AM

miss diminutive: But there's something about filling a suitcase full of booze that just makes me feel dirty.


Legally streaming from a reputable source doesn't deprive anyone of anything, you're not taking, you're examining. Taking a suitcase full of booze is depriving the hotel and future guests of property. Straight up thievery.
 
2013-05-23 11:26:03 AM
Meh.  Bring your own booze.  Sit at the hotel bar 'till close and mix'em up in the room afterwards.
 
2013-05-23 11:50:39 AM
They will never trace that minibar to you. Moving rooms in the system, when it's done the same day you check in, leaves almost no trace, no overnight confirmation that you ever occupied that suite.

Well hell, why stop at what's stocked in the minibar then.  Take the minibar itself, the television and the shower curtain.
 
2013-05-23 12:20:07 PM

blatz514: Bring your own booze.


Pretty much what I do.  Chances are you're in walking distance from a place that sells cheap booze.
 
2013-05-23 12:30:54 PM

miss diminutive: I don't even take the small bottles of shampoo and conditioner from the showers because I feel guilty. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I stole an entire mini-bar's worth of booze.


Assuaging guilt is what the booze is for.
 
2013-05-23 12:34:01 PM

Walker: Yeah, I'd never steal from the minibar and I'm too shy to do the $20 bribe thing. I'd be afraid they would look at me like "WTF?"


Or call the vice cops when you say,  "This is for you. Whatever you can do for me, I'd appreciate it."
 
2013-05-23 12:36:48 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Walker: Yeah, I'd never steal from the minibar and I'm too shy to do the $20 bribe thing. I'd be afraid they would look at me like "WTF?"

Or call the vice cops when you say,  "This is for you. Whatever you can do for me, I'd appreciate it."


Boom-chicka-bow-wow
 
2013-05-23 12:37:05 PM

Walker: Yeah, I'd never steal from the minibar and I'm too shy to do the $20 bribe thing. I'd be afraid they would look at me like "WTF?"


I've done the bribe thing.  In Vegas I got a suite for $20.  Sure, it was the freaking Sahara, but I had a suite for 3 days and this is when I smoked so you know I felt like a boss eating my prime rib on the couch and finishing off with a smoke.
 
2013-05-23 12:37:28 PM

miss diminutive: I don't even take the small bottles of shampoo and conditioner from the showers because I feel guilty. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I stole an entire mini-bar's worth of booze.


I thought the shampoo was to be taken.  Who wants a half empty bottle of shampoo when they check in?  It's like using someone else's soap--it's probably fine, but can you be sure?
 
2013-05-23 12:40:22 PM
I just refill the minbar bottles with urine, and put 'em back. Easy, peasy, nice and cheesy.
 
2013-05-23 12:40:27 PM
1. Drink from Mini-Bar
2. Pee back in to bottle and replace back in Mini-Bar
3. Profit?
 
2013-05-23 12:40:56 PM

palelizard: miss diminutive: I don't even take the small bottles of shampoo and conditioner from the showers because I feel guilty. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I stole an entire mini-bar's worth of booze.

I thought the shampoo was to be taken.  Who wants a half empty bottle of shampoo when they check in?  It's like using someone else's soap--it's probably fine, but can you be sure?


Bring your own.  You never know what some sick bastard has been doing to the conditioner.
 
2013-05-23 12:40:56 PM
This is a stupid article and a bad idea. I'll stick to bringing my own booze and hookers. Not going to rely on the hotel to make a huge profit on that.

I did stay in a hotel when I was young that had a locked stocked mini bar. I picked, looted and relocked it. They never put it on any bill. I was full of bad ideas and mini bottles of jack back then. I still am, but I don't steal.

/drinking age should be 18
 
2013-05-23 12:41:10 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: I just refill the minbar bottles with urine, and put 'em back. Easy, peasy, nice and cheesy.


Wow.....5 seconds......
/almost simulpost genius
 
2013-05-23 12:41:39 PM

downstairs: blatz514: Bring your own booze.

Pretty much what I do.  Chances are you're in walking distance from a place that sells cheap booze.


depends on when you arrive at your hotel (unless you live in one of the few civilized states that let you buy booze whenever you want)
 
2013-05-23 12:41:44 PM
Missed and awesome simulpost by 5 seconds, Chip.
 
2013-05-23 12:42:25 PM
I stay in a lot of hotels all over the country, one thing I always do, without fail, is to steal a couple of feathers out of the bed pillow. It's like a fetish of mine.
I make a small incision on the seam of the actual pillow, underneath the pillow cover, nobody looks under there. I take a couple of feathers, I keep them in a teak box at home, kind of like Dexter but way less creepy. Then I replace the feathers with a clipping of my pubic hair, shake it all up and Crazy Glue the seam back up, then put the cover back on.
I also make little nuggets out of my own poop, very small ones about the size of rabbit poops, and put those in a similar slit that I make in the mattress.
None of this is any worse than what the maids and housekeeping do. Trust me, I dated a maid once, they wipe the toilet, then the kettle, with the same cloth. They too have their fetishes and you have no idea, trust me.
 
2013-05-23 12:42:52 PM
Seems this guy makes waaaay too many assumptions about staying in a hotel. Challenging the front desk clerk doesn't automatically get you your way. No, hotels don't want to call guests liars, but assuming you can get away with anything just by saying "I didn't watch/eat/take...whatever" doesn't really get you anywhere in most higher end hotels/resorts. Now, if you wanna stoop to complete farkwad levels, they might just write it off to get you to move along, but you may just find that particular hotel is booked solid anytime you try and reserve a room later.

/Hotels/resorts for 20+ years
//Seen it all at this point
///Including a woman who had no idea what pasta was until she was told "It's like macaroni"
////Vacation/destination resort work can make you all stabby
 
GBB
2013-05-23 12:43:33 PM

brap: That plan has a lot of holes in it.  You don't think people take notes on accounts just switch a room that some jackass smoked in without question?  The computer age if anything makes keeping tabs on customers even easier.

Hell even restaurants keep dossiers on customers, I'm sure the hotel industry does the same.


I think this article is written by a front desk clerk at a Priceline 2-star motel.  They don't have such sophistication in their "computer" "system".
 
2013-05-23 12:44:04 PM
That's good advice. I also like to carry around a pocket full of dead roaches for all sorts of things besides free hotels. I also get free meals at restaurants, groceries, coffee, popcorn at movie theaters, parking in lots. It's always good to carry around a pocket full of roaches to cheapskate your way through life.
 
2013-05-23 12:44:24 PM
My office once held a conference at the Glen Cove Mansion.  There was a conference of Columbia University students going on at the same time as ours.  One the last night I went to the bar, ordered a beer, and gave my room number for the billing.  I guess some of the students must have told the bartender I was one of them (I was in my mid-30s at the time, but I look much younger than my real age), and the bartender must have believed them.  When I went to checkout, there were nearly 200 drinks charged to my room.  The hotel did not hesitate to remove the charges.  They probably could tell I didn't look like someone who consumed 200 drinks the night before.
 
2013-05-23 12:45:09 PM
Go down to the pool changing/shower room and poop in the urinal.
 
2013-05-23 12:45:18 PM
I'm making a reservation in this thread.
 
2013-05-23 12:45:27 PM
What kind of peasant stays in a hotel that doesn't automatically charge your account when the weight sensor in mini bar is activated?

If you're going to get high in your room make sure you tip the cleaning staff with twenty dollars and a joint.
 
2013-05-23 12:46:07 PM
images.smh.com.au
Vincent Van Gogh is kind of an asshole.
 
2013-05-23 12:46:21 PM
A lot of mini bars have sensor pads now that trigger a sale on the computer at the front desk, even if you pick it up and item and put it back. So sorry it is not always an old lazy person with a check list and a pencil.
 
2013-05-23 12:46:45 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Well, that was morally uplifting.


Morally uplifting like a $10 dollar .5oz bag of pretzels?
 
2013-05-23 12:47:33 PM

BEER_ME_in_CT: BarkingUnicorn: Well, that was morally uplifting.

Morally uplifting like a $10 dollar .5oz bag of pretzels?


Maybe the reason it's 10 bucks is because 90% of the people are stealing from the mini bar and not paying.
 
2013-05-23 12:47:57 PM
1. Watch and enjoy any movie (any movie).
2. Call down and say you accidentally clicked on it. Or it cut off in the middle. Or froze near the end. Or never even started. Would you like them to restart the movie for you? No thanks. You need to go to bed/leave now. Just remove the charge, please.

Well, if I'm watching a pr0n, that's likely to be technically true.


 
2013-05-23 12:48:00 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: Missed and awesome simulpost by 5 seconds, Chip.


I'm going to require both of your future travel itinerary so I don't happen to check in to a room one of you just checked out of.
 
2013-05-23 12:48:02 PM

Schroedinger's Glory Hole: What kind of peasant stays in a hotel that doesn't automatically charge your account when the weight sensor in mini bar is activated?


I was just thinking this myself.  Even a lot of the midrange hotels who recently remodeled themselves to be all business traveler friendly have this feature now.
 
2013-05-23 12:48:06 PM
wait a second. that guy couldnt possibly work at a front desk.  he has facial hair.
 
2013-05-23 12:48:45 PM

Kid Lester: 1. Watch and enjoy any movie (any movie).
2. Call down and say you accidentally clicked on it. Or it cut off in the middle. Or froze near the end. Or never even started. Would you like them to restart the movie for you? No thanks. You need to go to bed/leave now. Just remove the charge, please.

Well, if I'm watching a pr0n, that's likely to be technically true.


You are missing out. I always stick around for the happy ending.
 
2013-05-23 12:49:56 PM

ha-ha-guy: Schroedinger's Glory Hole: What kind of peasant stays in a hotel that doesn't automatically charge your account when the weight sensor in mini bar is activated?

I was just thinking this myself.  Even a lot of the midrange hotels who recently remodeled themselves to be all business traveler friendly have this feature now.


There's ways to get around that...
criticalmas.com
 
2013-05-23 12:50:03 PM
Ok the article is worthless (comedy I know) but I have one question: How much $ to get favors in places?

I really have no idea. We've all seen movies where the cool guy slips a bill to the maitre d' and he gets a better table so he can get head from the lady friend later that night.

What amount is the minimum? I have this mental block where I can spend in $20s all day. But if something is $30 I hesitate. Also $40 dollars seems like change to me but $50 seems like a lot.

I think my brain just likes the simplicity of multiples of 20. Odd numbers make my cheap self freak out.

So giving a hostess $20 an insult? (say at a fancy steakhouse) How about a front desk guy? 40? 100?

When to give a hundred? never?
 
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