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(Grand Junction Daily Sentinel)   News: Man commits suicide by driving off a cliff. Fark: Doesn't get discovered for 26 years   (gjsentinel.com) divider line 117
    More: Sad, gateways, human skeleton  
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17120 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2013 at 7:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-22 06:16:35 PM
Loses gym membership for being late.
 
2013-05-22 06:22:59 PM
I guess he was justified.
 
2013-05-22 06:39:46 PM
Hide and Seek world record holder.
 
2013-05-22 07:30:40 PM
Lewis said deputies found personal items including articles of clothing, credit cards and "other cards you might commonly find in a wallet."

Federal Boob Inspector card?
 
2013-05-22 07:30:50 PM
I did not need to see that :(
 
2013-05-22 07:31:46 PM
There was a Six Feet Under episode that started with this.
 
2013-05-22 07:32:34 PM
"Lewis said deputies found personal items including articles of clothing, credit cards and "other cards you might commonly find in a wallet."

Thank goodness plastic doesn't biodegrade.  Helps identify people in cases like this.
 
2013-05-22 07:33:37 PM
I'm guessing the organ donor card has expired by now.
 
2013-05-22 07:34:51 PM
If I was ever to off myself, I'd like it to work out like this.
 
2013-05-22 07:36:07 PM
Bless him, he lived the dream.
 
2013-05-22 07:36:23 PM
I guess he really did die alone, just like he feared he was going to.
 
2013-05-22 07:38:37 PM
Did you see what was going on at the time?   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billboard_Year-End_Hot_100_singles_of_19 8 7

/forgive me for citing wikipedia
 
2013-05-22 07:38:58 PM

Biner: If I was ever to off myself, I'd like it to work out like this.


I'd rob several banks first.
 
2013-05-22 07:39:49 PM
Well, if he wanted to be found sooner he would have committed suicide at home.
 
2013-05-22 07:40:20 PM
Odd that he would remove the plates but leave behind the plastic.
 
2013-05-22 07:40:29 PM

Biner: If I was ever to off myself, I'd like it to work out like this.


Meh. If I ever get diagnosed with a terminal disease, I've already got the line prepared:

"You sure, absolutely sure? Because, I've got this  list of people, and it would be really embarrassing if I was going to die 20 years later in prison and not 6 months down the road"
 
2013-05-22 07:41:27 PM
Yeah, that could have been how long his natural non-suicide life would have lasted.  Makes you think.
 
2013-05-22 07:43:24 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Last words: "I'm still alive, but I'm very badly injured ..."
 
2013-05-22 07:45:00 PM
Would the title be clear on a vehicle like that? Finding that would be sort of the opposite of dropping your keys over a cliff.
 
2013-05-22 07:45:39 PM
I always felt that if i were to take my own life, i'd jump into one of those huge bottomless pits things they got out West.
 
2013-05-22 07:51:39 PM
Dr. Jack K must have been busy that week.
 
2013-05-22 07:54:02 PM

hardinparamedic: Biner: If I was ever to off myself, I'd like it to work out like this.

Meh. If I ever get diagnosed with a terminal disease, I've already got the line prepared:

"You sure, absolutely sure? Because, I've got this  list of people, and it would be really embarrassing if I was going to die 20 years later in prison and not 6 months down the road"


Oh, that would be embarrassing : )
 
2013-05-22 07:54:40 PM

T.rex: I always felt that if i were to take my own life, i'd jump into one of those huge bottomless pits things they got out West.


How about the Mystery Hole?
 
2013-05-22 07:56:43 PM

NkThrasher: Lewis said deputies found personal items including articles of clothing, credit cards and "other cards you might commonly find in a wallet."

Federal Boob Inspector card?


Inefficient and slow.  Leave boob inspecting to the state and local governments.
RON PAUL!
 
2013-05-22 07:56:52 PM

jehovahs witness protection: Loses gym membership for being late.


Have you ever tried to cancel a gym membership?  More likely they have been debiting his checking account the last twentysix years.

/To cancel my last gym membership I had to provide, in person the the manager on duty, a written letter stating I wanted to quit before they would cancel it.
 
2013-05-22 07:57:12 PM

NkThrasher: Lewis said deputies found personal items including articles of clothing, credit cards and "other cards you might commonly find in a wallet."

Federal Boob Inspector card?


Dammit... beat me to it.
 
2013-05-22 07:57:21 PM

T.rex: I always felt that if i were to take my own life, i'd jump into one of those huge bottomless pits things they got out West.


Eh , too dark.

I would go skydiving over a population center during lunch time and conveniently forget to pull the rip cord on the chute.
 
2013-05-22 07:57:23 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: hardinparamedic: Biner: If I was ever to off myself, I'd like it to work out like this.

I want to go in my sleep like my grampa did.

Not like the other 3 people in the car.

 
2013-05-22 08:00:27 PM

Torqueknot: Have you ever tried to cancel a gym membership? More likely they have been debiting his checking account the last twentysix years.


He had to be at the gym in 26 years ago.
 
2013-05-22 08:01:36 PM
Hank, Bill, and Dale seen cautiously distancing themselves from scene.
 
2013-05-22 08:04:11 PM

chaddsfarkprefect: Did you see what was going on at the time?   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billboard_Year-End_Hot_100_singles_of_19 8 7

/forgive me for citing wikipedia


Not too awful of a list, considering it was the 80's
 
2013-05-22 08:05:28 PM

sloshed_again: Odd that he would remove the plates but leave behind the plastic.


The plates were probably taken by stoners years ago. I bet they're hanging up in some coffeeshop by now.

/or being used to patch a hole in something, if they were tweakers.
 
Ehh
2013-05-22 08:05:48 PM
I remember reading about a first responder to a suicide who read the note, which said the suicide killed herself because nobody cared. When the family showed up later, their behavior ("Where's that crystal fruit bowl? I want that.") confirmed that the suicide was right. :-(
 
2013-05-22 08:06:44 PM

sloshed_again: tinfoil-hat maggie: hardinparamedic: Biner: If I was ever to off myself, I'd like it to work out like this.

I want to go in my sleep like my grampa did.

Not like the other 3 people in the car.


Snerk : )
 
2013-05-22 08:07:21 PM
Good point Goimir.
 
2013-05-22 08:07:24 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: Torqueknot: Have you ever tried to cancel a gym membership? More likely they have been debiting his checking account the last twentysix years.

He had to be at the gym in 26 years ago.


+internet
 
2013-05-22 08:12:48 PM
It seems that people disappear into canyons for extended periods all the time, even modestly famous ones. You would think that in all that time someone might have noticed a vehicle with a body in it.
 
2013-05-22 08:13:51 PM
Jordy Verill?
 
2013-05-22 08:13:55 PM

CaptSacto: Hide and Seek world record holder.


My dick holds that record. According to my wife, that is.
 
2013-05-22 08:15:30 PM
Better than those assholes who jump in front of the Killtrain here in the Bay Area. Those farkers always screwing up my commute.
 
2013-05-22 08:21:46 PM

sloshed_again: Odd that he would remove the plates but leave behind the plastic.


Maybe someone else found the car first and swiped the plates? Thinking they didn't spot the skeleton inside, if that's the case.
 
2013-05-22 08:25:21 PM
content6.flixster.com
Mods blame Rockers...
 
2013-05-22 08:35:05 PM
Are they sure his car wasn't driving?
i41.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-22 08:35:46 PM

Lumber Jack Off: T.rex: I always felt that if i were to take my own life, i'd jump into one of those huge bottomless pits things they got out West.

Eh , too dark.

I would go skydiving over a population center during lunch time and conveniently forget to pull the rip cord on the chute.


Bonus points if you land on some parent who's publicly changing their baby's diaper on a bistro table.
 
2013-05-22 08:36:15 PM

Krymson Tyde: Are they sure his car wasn't driving?


Cat dammit.
 
2013-05-22 08:45:52 PM

Lumber Jack Off: T.rex: I always felt that if i were to take my own life, i'd jump into one of those huge bottomless pits things they got out West.

Eh , too dark.

I would go skydiving over a population center during lunch time and conveniently forget to pull the rip cord on the chute.


Don't forget to disable the AAD.  Would be embarrassing to be head-down and on target to take out a CEO only to have that pop your reserve.
 
2013-05-22 08:48:45 PM

Krymson Tyde: Krymson Tyde: Are they sure his car wasn't driving?

Cat dammit.


It's actually better the way it was.originallly
 
2013-05-22 08:49:07 PM

Krymson Tyde: Krymson Tyde: Are they sure his car wasn't driving?

Cat dammit.


Is your fridge running?
 
2013-05-22 08:58:42 PM
26 years ago there was a farmer's market down there.
 
2013-05-22 09:35:20 PM
"I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!" - Jack Handey
 
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