If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(International Business Times)   Mom dies, gives birth, then gets brought back to life   (ibtimes.com) divider line 60
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

8274 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2013 at 4:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-22 03:27:23 PM  
The immaculate disconnection?
 
2013-05-22 03:47:23 PM  
img1.fark.net

=

img1.fark.net
 
2013-05-22 03:56:01 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-22 04:02:26 PM  
Man, that kid is going to get a major guilt trip:  "I *DIED* giving birth to you, and this is how you repay me?"
 
2013-05-22 04:08:06 PM  
You'd think an epidural would be alot easier.
 
2013-05-22 04:09:22 PM  
The doctor could be heard screaming 'We can't let her die she owes a bill!'
 
2013-05-22 04:22:49 PM  
I'm pretty sure that child can now either communicate with the dead, or tell the exact moment of everybody's death.
 
2013-05-22 04:30:01 PM  

dittybopper: Man, that kid is going to get a major guilt trip: "I *DIED* giving birth to you, and this is how you repay me?"


She will also win anytime the "how long were you in labor" discussion comes up.

"It was 32 hours of hell! What about you?"
"About twenty minutes."
"That's incredible, you must have felt very little pain."
"Not any, really, I was dead."
 
2013-05-22 04:30:06 PM  
Zombies can reproduce now?

Well, that changes things. My plan of riding out the zombie apocalypse in my fruit cellar just took a hit.
 
2013-05-22 04:32:51 PM  
That kid probably popped shot right out when they put the paddles to mom.

"3..2..1..clear!"  Zzzap!  POP!
 
2013-05-22 04:47:57 PM  
djbrecord.free.fr
 
2013-05-22 04:48:51 PM  
If you're going to give away that much of Twilight's plot, a spoiler tag is appropriate, subby.
 
2013-05-22 04:49:41 PM  

Diogenes: That kid probably popped shot right out when they put the paddles to mom.

"3..2..1..clear!"  Zzzap!  POP!


I can't stop hearing the sound of a champagne cork while reading that.
 
2013-05-22 04:49:53 PM  
Nigrelli's coworkers jumped in, kicked her husband out of the room when they removed her bra to attach the defibrillator pads.

Because he hasn't seen them yet?
 
2013-05-22 04:50:08 PM  
"It's a trick.  Get an ax."
 
2013-05-22 04:50:12 PM  
Or, you know, doesn't die and isn't brought back to life.
 
2013-05-22 04:53:34 PM  
Zombo.com.
 
2013-05-22 04:54:31 PM  

Relatively Obscure: Or, you know, doesn't die and isn't brought back to life.


She didn't even give birth, had to get the doctors to cut her open. What a lazy corpse.
 
2013-05-22 04:54:43 PM  

Carn: "It's a trick.  Get an ax."


deeamis.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-22 04:55:17 PM  

Relatively Obscure: Or, you know, doesn't die and isn't brought back to life.


Enh.... You can debate this point of grammar for hours. "Clinically dead" is what they call it when your heart stops. The fact that your brain cells are still alive and (if blood gets oxygenated and flowing to the brain very, very soon) you could get back up and dance a merry jig doesn't change the clinical definition.
 
2013-05-22 04:55:35 PM  
www.ultimatezombieresource.com

Shoot it in the face, just to be sure.
 
2013-05-22 04:57:00 PM  
How did you leave "Ta da!" off of the headline?
 
2013-05-22 04:59:19 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: Carn: "It's a trick.  Get an ax."

[deeamis.files.wordpress.com image 250x219]


Brotha Noomsy!
 
2013-05-22 05:02:31 PM  
I was more amazed by how much advertising crap there was on that article. A lightbox-effect "Like us on Facebook!" thing that I had to dismiss, combined with an auto-play video ad, combined with a floating "buy Intel UltaBooks!" thing that covered the lower half of the browser.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Get AdBlock. Sometimes I use a different browser to test things for work.
 
2013-05-22 05:06:13 PM  

Quick Fixer: Enh.... You can debate this point of grammar for hours.


Probably, but I'm not going to.  She just wasn't dead.  It's still a good thing both are okay.
 
2013-05-22 05:10:19 PM  
Needs more forehead.
 
2013-05-22 05:17:49 PM  

Quick Fixer: he fact that your brain cells are still alive and (if blood gets oxygenated and flowing to the brain very, very soon) you could get back up and dance a merry jig doesn't change the clinical definition.


CPR doesn't work like that - most people who get it and have a ROSC, like 99.95% of them - will not "get up", let alone dance a jig. In fact, they'll most usually be in a coma and require continuing support as a result of reperfusion syndrome and the shock to the brain from loss of blood flow (O2 and glucose). In fact, this is the reason we put them on ice now, and cool them down to 33-34 deg. celsius.

This is the reason that they have you immediately resume CPR after defibrillation with an AED now. Even if you did convert them into a perfusing rhythm, the first minute or two of cardiac output is ineffective at perfusing the brain and myocardium usually, and the heart muscle takes time to recover.

 Unless you have someone who is johnny on the spot - i.e. they have an implanted cardioverter/defibrillator, or someone has them already on the pads and immediately recognizes and cardioverts a lethal rhythm - they're probably not going to be conscious and screaming at you to stop pushing on their chest.
 
2013-05-22 05:18:00 PM  

Relatively Obscure: She just wasn't dead.


^that.
 
2013-05-22 05:18:19 PM  
Never before have I seen a baby that was a perfect embodiment of Carlin's sentiment that most small children look like a Halloween mask with legs. Yikes.
 
2013-05-22 05:19:21 PM  
For the last time, this isn't death.

People don't come back from the dead. Sans vitals is not death, it becomes death if vitals are not restored.She had an emergency medical episode where vitals stopped, were artificially sustained by persons present, and later her vitals returned and her body is performing them itself.
 
2013-05-22 05:21:59 PM  
Ta Da
 
2013-05-22 05:22:58 PM  

octopied: People don't come back from the dead.


You're just not using enough energy. Anything can come back to live with an 18 volt deep cycle marine battery.
 
2013-05-22 05:24:55 PM  
Your heart can stop beating for quite a while without you 'dying'. No one who dies (no brain function) ever comes back... without an insatiable craving for human flesh or blood!
 
2013-05-22 05:25:02 PM  
Jesus H. Christ, what a link...three pop-ups and an autoplay video.

/whiney biatch
 
2013-05-22 05:29:51 PM  

Shostie: [djbrecord.free.fr image 473x482]


10/10. great song btw.
 
2013-05-22 05:30:55 PM  

hardinparamedic: octopied: People don't come back from the dead.

You're just not using enough energy. Anything can come back to live with an 18 volt deep cycle marine battery.


Would the AED have caused any damage to the baby?

When I took a CPR /AED class, they never said what to do if the person is pregnant. Actually they never told us if we need to do anything different for female patients at all.

One guy afterwards asked if you leave the bra on, or take it off for using the AED, no one knew the answer.
 
2013-05-22 05:32:48 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com



hot but - Oblig
 
2013-05-22 05:35:12 PM  

strangeluck: Would the AED have caused any damage to the baby?

When I took a CPR /AED class, they never said what to do if the person is pregnant. Actually they never told us if we need to do anything different for female patients at all.

One guy afterwards asked if you leave the bra on, or take it off for using the AED, no one knew the answer.


For laypeople, no. You are posing no risk to the fetus if you are using an AED because you can't get much worse than mom dead. Remember that before the child comes out that the mother is providing the majority of the circulatory support for it through the umbilicus. Also, the fetus is in distress long before the mother herself demonstrates distress.

Don't second guess, do CPR and use the AED. There are some things a trained responder might do different, but that's above a layperson level.

Also, the best practice is to cut off all clothing off the chest, bra included. You won't have anything hindering CPR or pad placement in that case.
 
2013-05-22 05:38:39 PM  
Babby and mommy recovering nicely, dining in the hospital cafeteria on delicious...


BRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNZZZZZZ!
 
2013-05-22 05:41:20 PM  

hardinparamedic: strangeluck: Would the AED have caused any damage to the baby?

When I took a CPR /AED class, they never said what to do if the person is pregnant. Actually they never told us if we need to do anything different for female patients at all.

One guy afterwards asked if you leave the bra on, or take it off for using the AED, no one knew the answer.

For laypeople, no. You are posing no risk to the fetus if you are using an AED because you can't get much worse than mom dead. Remember that before the child comes out that the mother is providing the majority of the circulatory support for it through the umbilicus. Also, the fetus is in distress long before the mother herself demonstrates distress.

Don't second guess, do CPR and use the AED. There are some things a trained responder might do different, but that's above a layperson level.

Also, the best practice is to cut off all clothing off the chest, bra included. You won't have anything hindering CPR or pad placement in that case.


Awesome, good to know.
 
2013-05-22 05:47:05 PM  
Confused abortion doc?
 
2013-05-22 05:51:53 PM  
Let me guess: blood transfusion...

www.aceshowbiz.com

/DNRTFA
 
2013-05-22 05:58:21 PM  

dittybopper: Man, that kid is going to get a major guilt trip:  "I *DIED* giving birth to you, and this is how you repay me?"


And people will always be pestering her to help them defeat some overly literal prophecy.
 
2013-05-22 06:03:30 PM  
You know she'll still boast that she can still bear more pain than men just because she gave birth. No matter that she was technically dead and had no reaction to stimulation.
 
2013-05-22 06:04:39 PM  

nmrsnr: I'm pretty sure that child can now either communicate with the dead, or tell the exact moment of everybody's death.


Even better. You know all those immortality clauses and prophesies that casually mention the mother? Rules lawyers tell me this is one of those gotchas.

"No man born of a woman can harm..."

MacBeth should have burned that forest to the ground.

(Asshole DM would probably say the smoke of the fire wafted to Dunsinane Hill and that counts)
 
2013-05-22 06:23:10 PM  

kim jong-un: nmrsnr: I'm pretty sure that child can now either communicate with the dead, or tell the exact moment of everybody's death.

Even better. You know all those immortality clauses and prophesies that casually mention the mother? Rules lawyers tell me this is one of those gotchas.

"No man born of a woman can harm..."

MacBeth should have burned that forest to the ground.

(Asshole DM would probably say the smoke of the fire wafted to Dunsinane Hill and that counts)


The parents definitely need to name that kid MacDuff.
 
2013-05-22 06:27:27 PM  
Mother: "Do you know how difficult your childbirth was?"
Kid: "Oh please, Mom. You weren't even alive for that."
 
2013-05-22 06:32:14 PM  
*sigh
She was not dead.  Dead is dead.
Her heart stopped.  Had they hooked her up to ann EEG, she would have had brain activity, ergo, not dead.

Mostly dead.
Her CPR team:

3.bp.blogspot.com

Bye bye!
Have fun storming the castle!
 
2013-05-22 06:35:12 PM  
Dead lay, dead live birth?
 
2013-05-22 07:06:32 PM  
The Aristocrats!
 
Displayed 50 of 60 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


Report