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(Co.Exist)   As a general rule things that you would bring to a Fark party should not be sent as disaster relief   (fastcoexist.com) divider line 57
    More: Amusing, Fark, Spanish, RPI, sex toys, disaster relief, disaster areas, donations  
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3670 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2013 at 4:15 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-22 03:39:20 PM
Whiskey and Porn are welcome everywhere.
 
2013-05-22 03:51:10 PM
I was thinking beer and females...
 
2013-05-22 03:56:40 PM
"WKRP in Cincinnati: Turkeys Away (#1.7)" (1978)

Venus Flytrap: What do you suppose he's up to?

Dr. Johnny Fever: Carlson? I don't know. You should have been here for the big wig promotion.

Venus Flytrap: What happened?

Dr. Johnny Fever: Well, naturally, it didn't work, and we ended up with a warehouse full of wigs. Carlson, he couldn't figure out how to get rid of 'em until the Guatemalan earthquake.

Venus Flytrap: Say what?

Dr. Johnny Fever: Well, the Red Cross called out, you know, for blankets, clothes, anything. So Carlson, out of the goodness of his heart, shipped these destitute earthquake victims in Guatemala three thousand blonde stretch wigs. You know, I still have this picture in my mind of quake victims stumbling through the rubble - all looking like Dolly Parton.
 
2013-05-22 04:02:38 PM
Donations can be divided into three categories: high-priority (the stuff that actually helps with an immediate need like blankets or water), low priority (stuff that could help at a later time, but isn't needed at the moment) and no-priority (stuff that is inappropriate for the area or is expired--like the sex toys).


Sex toys expire?
 
2013-05-22 04:09:37 PM

gopher321: Donations can be divided into three categories: high-priority (the stuff that actually helps with an immediate need like blankets or water), low priority (stuff that could help at a later time, but isn't needed at the moment) and no-priority (stuff that is inappropriate for the area or is expired--like the sex toys).

Sex toys expire?


I for one am always lost without my butt plug.
 
2013-05-22 04:11:27 PM
I recall reading an article years ago about some of the useless donations the U.S. sent to third world countries like Bangladesh. Instead of sending foodstuffs like rice, lentils & cooking oil, which are common elements of their diet, some U.S. companies were sending crates of pudding mix and snack foods. The latter not only being low in nutritional value, but things like the pudding mix were useless. The recipients didn't have the other necessary ingredients and even if they did they couldn't read the preparation instructions.

U.S. churches were organizing clothing drives and sending over bundles of used clothing. Unfortunately this included things like evening gowns, high heel shoes, prom dresses, etc., instead of clothing that was useful like jeans & T-shirts in assorted sizes. All the useless stuff had to be sorted through and discarded.
 
2013-05-22 04:18:08 PM
So, since I would never take the kids to a Fark party....

/How much to ship 'em third class?
 
2013-05-22 04:18:19 PM

gopher321: Donations can be divided into three categories: high-priority (the stuff that actually helps with an immediate need like blankets or water), low priority (stuff that could help at a later time, but isn't needed at the moment) and no-priority (stuff that is inappropriate for the area or is expired--like the sex toys).


Sex toys expire?


If you don't charge the battery, I'm sure they do.
 
2013-05-22 04:18:45 PM

Bathia_Mapes: I recall reading an article years ago about some of the useless donations the U.S. sent to third world countries like Bangladesh. Instead of sending foodstuffs like rice, lentils & cooking oil, which are common elements of their diet, some U.S. companies were sending crates of pudding mix and snack foods. The latter not only being low in nutritional value, but things like the pudding mix were useless. The recipients didn't have the other necessary ingredients and even if they did they couldn't read the preparation instructions.

U.S. churches were organizing clothing drives and sending over bundles of used clothing. Unfortunately this included things like evening gowns, high heel shoes, prom dresses, etc., instead of clothing that was useful like jeans & T-shirts in assorted sizes. All the useless stuff had to be sorted through and discarded.


Potato chips are astoundingly valuable in third-world countries. Calories per gram are at a nice high level. You just have to send them with bottled/packaged water.
 
2013-05-22 04:19:05 PM
So....no porno magazines, boxes of condoms, bottles of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks and disposable enemas?

Shame.
 
2013-05-22 04:20:03 PM
I hear used underwear was popular in Japan after the quake.
 
2013-05-22 04:20:36 PM
I like how they pretend they have no interest in the sex toys.
 
2013-05-22 04:21:03 PM

miss diminutive: So....no porno magazines, boxes of condoms, bottles of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks and disposable enemas?

Shame.


I don't know what you had in mind for this weekend, but you can count me out!
 
2013-05-22 04:24:26 PM
I don't think sex toys make it to fark parties, I mean these are farkers we're talking about. They never get laid and even when they do, it's making biscuit dough from the flour with some 300 pound hog beast. That's some finger licking dumpy loving I don't think I want to know about.
 
2013-05-22 04:26:03 PM

elev8meL8r: miss diminutive: So....no porno magazines, boxes of condoms, bottles of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks and disposable enemas?

Shame.

I don't know what you had in mind for this weekend, but you can count me out!



To be fair, I was at a party where this girl shot a bottle rocket out of her butt and then started doing cartwheels accross the lawn.  Never discount the potential of booze and fireworks.
 
2013-05-22 04:26:57 PM

EvilEgg: Whiskey and Porn are welcome everywhere.


Hell yeah they are. My post-apocalypse plan is old school porn production and alcohol distillation. The alcohol is useful in more than one way, and the porn, well, there will *always* be a demand for pictures of naked hot chicks. Might even branch out into tobacco production.
 
2013-05-22 04:29:48 PM
Bullshiat. Hookers and blow are welcome world-wide....
 
2013-05-22 04:30:19 PM

miss diminutive: So....no porno magazines, boxes of condoms, bottles of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks and disposable enemas?

Shame.


You left out roofies and handcuffs.
 
2013-05-22 04:30:23 PM
This just in. Americans think their garbage is valuable.
 
2013-05-22 04:30:39 PM
A really interesting sex toy will most likely take a disaster survivor's mind off the devastation and misery around him.
 
2013-05-22 04:32:18 PM
Aside from thrift store drop offs, there is almost no situation in which giving your junk to charity is helpful.  They can do far more good with a small monetary donation, with which they are to purchase what they actually need at an incredibly steep discount.

/Food drives are a ruse to do community outreach and ask for donations; sorting and distributing the actual food collected is more of a burden to the charity than anything.

//Don't even get me started on those "food shelf packs" at your local supermarket.  There's a special place in hell for stores that do that.
 
2013-05-22 04:32:19 PM

gopher321: Donations can be divided into three categories: high-priority (the stuff that actually helps with an immediate need like blankets or water), low priority (stuff that could help at a later time, but isn't needed at the moment) and no-priority (stuff that is inappropriate for the area or is expired--like the sex toys).


Sex toys expire?


You do not want to know what an expire sex toy smells like...
 
2013-05-22 04:34:00 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: I don't think sex toys make it to fark parties, I mean these are farkers we're talking about. They never get laid and even when they do, it's making biscuit dough from the flour with some 300 pound hog beast. That's some finger licking dumpy loving I don't think I want to know about.


They don't use flour to find the wet spot. It doesn't work.

Dousing Rods are the way to go.

Or so i have heard...

From a friend. ..
 
2013-05-22 04:34:18 PM

elev8meL8r: miss diminutive: So....no porno magazines, boxes of condoms, bottles of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks and disposable enemas?

Shame.

I don't know what you had in mind for this weekend, but you can count me out!


I'm in.
 
2013-05-22 04:34:22 PM
I can't wait for the AP to release pictures of earthquake victims wearing horse masks and Fark headline t-shirts.
 
2013-05-22 04:35:06 PM

groppet: I hear used underwear was popular in Japan after the quake.


I figured there would be a surplus after the pant-crappingly high tsunami came in.
 
2013-05-22 04:35:12 PM
Donators also don't know the needs on the ground the way local organizations do. Hundreds of pounds of pork meat was donated to Muslim earthquake victims in Turkey.

Hehehe. This is great.
So they just destroy it? How idiotic.
 
2013-05-22 04:36:07 PM

fluffy2097: This just in. Americans think their garbage is valuable.


Yup. Just look at your average Craigslist ad.
 
2013-05-22 04:36:41 PM

fluffy2097: This just in. Americans think their garbage is valuable.


Meh. All they need is water, really. The average American can live off their fat reserves for a few decades
 
2013-05-22 04:39:31 PM

God-is-a-Taco: Donators also don't know the needs on the ground the way local organizations do. Hundreds of pounds of pork meat was donated to Muslim earthquake victims in Turkey.

Hehehe. This is great.
So they just destroy it? How idiotic.


I know, right? If I am starving and there is nothing else to eat, I don't think it is in my best survival interest as a human to be picky about what some moldy book from an ancient era says about my menu choices. Morons deserve to starve.
 
2013-05-22 04:40:51 PM

megarian: elev8meL8r: miss diminutive: So....no porno magazines, boxes of condoms, bottles of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks and disposable enemas?

Shame.

I don't know what you had in mind for this weekend, but you can count me out!

I'm in.


You're brave...
/and I may need video of this : )
 
2013-05-22 04:41:56 PM

God-is-a-Taco: fluffy2097: This just in. Americans think their garbage is valuable.

Meh. All they need is water, really. The average American can live off their fat reserves for a few decades


Fat is food or insulation. It can't be both.

/send them some space blankets too. it's amazing how warm those sheets of Mylar are.
 
2013-05-22 04:42:03 PM
Around these parts, we call that a good start to the weekend.
 
2013-05-22 04:43:01 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: elev8meL8r: miss diminutive: So....no porno magazines, boxes of condoms, bottles of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks and disposable enemas?

Shame.

I don't know what you had in mind for this weekend, but you can count me out!

I'm in.

You're brave...
/and I may need video of this : )


Deal.

If I get arrested, by bondsman is in my phone under "For a Good Time".
 
2013-05-22 04:47:20 PM

Prey4reign: A really interesting sex toy will most likely take a disaster survivor's mind off the devastation and misery around him.


You need to package the hitachi with a generator and a couple gallons of gas...
 
2013-05-22 04:47:28 PM

megarian: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: elev8meL8r: miss diminutive: So....no porno magazines, boxes of condoms, bottles of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks and disposable enemas?

Shame.

I don't know what you had in mind for this weekend, but you can count me out!

I'm in.

You're brave...
/and I may need video of this : )

Deal.

If I get arrested, by bondsman is in my phone under "For a Good Time".


Always good to keep that # handy.
 
2013-05-22 05:09:06 PM

UsikFark: I can't wait for the AP to release pictures of earthquake victims wearing horse masks and Fark headline t-shirts.


www.slate.com
TEAM HORSE MASK!
 
2013-05-22 05:20:23 PM
I dunno, I could really use a beer if my house blew away.
 
2013-05-22 05:30:47 PM
A king-size mattress that weighed 200 pounds, a load of Spanish flags, a case of Viagra, and a carnival-style tiger costume.

Shoot... a feller could have a pretty good weekend in Las Vegas with all that stuff.
 
2013-05-22 05:32:43 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: A king-size mattress that weighed 200 pounds, a load of Spanish flags, a case of Viagra, and a carnival-style tiger costume.

Shoot... a feller could have a pretty good weekend in Las Vegas with all that stuff.


Dallas
 
2013-05-22 05:34:28 PM

Bathia_Mapes: UsikFark: I can't wait for the AP to release pictures of earthquake victims wearing horse masks and Fark headline t-shirts.


TEAM HORSE MASK!


I thought that was an Oi thing
 
2013-05-22 05:43:33 PM
... Butty McPeggerson just wanted to help
 
2013-05-22 05:59:34 PM

Ned Stark: I dunno, I could really use a beer if my house blew away.


My thoughts exactly.

And pot. All the pot.
 
2013-05-22 06:13:24 PM

megarian: Ned Stark: I dunno, I could really use a beer if my house blew away.

My thoughts exactly.

And pot. All the pot.


All the pot?
You would share right?
Don't bogart that joint : )
 
2013-05-22 06:42:54 PM
Huh. It never occurred to me to ask where the sex toys came from at Fark parties.
 
2013-05-22 06:45:23 PM

UsikFark: Bathia_Mapes: UsikFark: I can't wait for the AP to release pictures of earthquake victims wearing horse masks and Fark headline t-shirts.


TEAM HORSE MASK!

I thought that was an Oi thing


It's a Wheaton thing too. He watches hockey wearing his horse mask. Even took it with him when he went to two different cons in Canada. He posted a picture of himself in his hotel room wearing his horse mask and a vintage hockey shirt while watching a game.
 
2013-05-22 06:55:21 PM

Bathia_Mapes: UsikFark: Bathia_Mapes: UsikFark: I can't wait for the AP to release pictures of earthquake victims wearing horse masks and Fark headline t-shirts.


TEAM HORSE MASK!

I thought that was an Oi thing

It's a Wheaton thing too. He watches hockey wearing his horse mask. Even took it with him when he went to two different cons in Canada. He posted a picture of himself in his hotel room wearing his horse mask and a vintage hockey shirt while watching a game.


4.bp.blogspot.com
WHEATON!!!
 
2013-05-22 07:41:35 PM

TabASlotB: gopher321: Donations can be divided into three categories: high-priority (the stuff that actually helps with an immediate need like blankets or water), low priority (stuff that could help at a later time, but isn't needed at the moment) and no-priority (stuff that is inappropriate for the area or is expired--like the sex toys).


Sex toys expire?

You do not want to know what an expire sex toy smells like...


They must have an expiry date as I find at least two a week when I do roadside recycling along a major highway. Use once and chuck out the window? Have found more than a few at old accident sites. WTF?!
 
2013-05-22 07:55:51 PM

Clark W Griswald: TabASlotB: gopher321: Donations can be divided into three categories: high-priority (the stuff that actually helps with an immediate need like blankets or water), low priority (stuff that could help at a later time, but isn't needed at the moment) and no-priority (stuff that is inappropriate for the area or is expired--like the sex toys).


Sex toys expire?

You do not want to know what an expire sex toy smells like...

They must have an expiry date as I find at least two a week when I do roadside recycling along a major highway. Use once and chuck out the window? Have found more than a few at old accident sites. WTF?!


Makes one wonder what was going on before the accident O_o
 
2013-05-22 08:09:03 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: Ned Stark: I dunno, I could really use a beer if my house blew away.

My thoughts exactly.

And pot. All the pot.

All the pot?
You would share right?
Don't bogart that joint : )


Baaaaahahahaha!
Extremely appropriate!
 
2013-05-22 08:35:33 PM

megarian: tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: Ned Stark: I dunno, I could really use a beer if my house blew away.

My thoughts exactly.

And pot. All the pot.

All the pot?
You would share right?
Don't bogart that joint : )

Baaaaahahahaha!
Extremely appropriate!


You may enjoy this as well : D
Little Toot
 
2013-05-22 08:56:16 PM
forum-img.pinside.comI guess I won't be sending these to Oklahoma
 
2013-05-22 08:57:23 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Clark W Griswald: TabASlotB: gopher321: Donations can be divided into three categories: high-priority (the stuff that actually helps with an immediate need like blankets or water), low priority (stuff that could help at a later time, but isn't needed at the moment) and no-priority (stuff that is inappropriate for the area or is expired--like the sex toys).


Sex toys expire?

You do not want to know what an expire sex toy smells like...

They must have an expiry date as I find at least two a week when I do roadside recycling along a major highway. Use once and chuck out the window? Have found more than a few at old accident sites. WTF?!

Makes one wonder what was going on before the accident O_o


It seems self explanatory to me.
 
2013-05-22 09:10:19 PM

DreamyAltarBoy: tinfoil-hat maggie: Clark W Griswald: TabASlotB: gopher321: Donations can be divided into three categories: high-priority (the stuff that actually helps with an immediate need like blankets or water), low priority (stuff that could help at a later time, but isn't needed at the moment) and no-priority (stuff that is inappropriate for the area or is expired--like the sex toys).


Sex toys expire?

You do not want to know what an expire sex toy smells like...

They must have an expiry date as I find at least two a week when I do roadside recycling along a major highway. Use once and chuck out the window? Have found more than a few at old accident sites. WTF?!

Makes one wonder what was going on before the accident O_o

It seems self explanatory to me.


Well yea, but how does someone drive wh.... Oh ....
/Never mind : )
 
2013-05-22 10:52:57 PM
Hundreds of pounds of pork meat was donated to Muslim earthquake victims in Turkey.

Now that made me lol.
 
2013-05-23 05:30:37 AM

fat boy: [forum-img.pinside.com image 453x604]I guess I won't be sending these to Oklahoma


Is that a pinny that runs on good vibrations?
 
2013-05-23 08:17:44 AM
Cher: I'm captain of the Pismo Beach disaster relief.

Mel: I don't think they need your skis.

Cher: Daddy, some people lost all of their belongings. Don't you think that includes athletic equipment?
 
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