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(Buzzfeed)   Survey reveals men think women's beauty peaks at age 29. Reversely, women think men peak during every aggressive handshake   (buzzfeed.com ) divider line
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6518 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2013 at 4:31 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



170 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-05-22 04:01:19 PM  
In my experience, men tend to peak about 6 minutes too soon.
 
2013-05-22 04:22:19 PM  
Men self report that "they think" beauty peaks at 29.

Actually, it's 19.
 
2013-05-22 04:31:20 PM  

miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 2 6 minutes too soon in and then go flaccid.

 
2013-05-22 04:32:24 PM  
I never peak, she usually taps out and I'm left to lay there and try and jack it
 
2013-05-22 04:34:44 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: I never peak, she usually taps out and I'm left to lay there and try and jack it


No. She just doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. You should try to be nice to her once in a while and you might get some ;)
 
2013-05-22 04:36:53 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: No. She just doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. You should try to be nice to her once in a while and you might get some ;)


But I am nice to her, why just the other day I did all the laundry. I took it down to the basement, got it all washed and dried, then brought it back up stairs and left on the bed for her to fold like she's supposed to.
 
2013-05-22 04:37:54 PM  
Shake hands with a woman?
 
2013-05-22 04:39:14 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 2 6 minutes too soon in and then go flaccid.


I always joke about that stereotype after sex.
 
2013-05-22 04:39:30 PM  
29? I am assuming this study was done outside of the US. By 29 most American women are pushing the peak of their weight scales. I think that number needs to be chopped down by about 6 years.
 
2013-05-22 04:40:23 PM  

Mega Steve: Shake hands with a woman?


Now with pic "goodness"
img69.imageshack.us
 
2013-05-22 04:40:43 PM  
*looks at wife*

So... that's as good as it's gonna get.

I need a good hobby, something that will take up my time... like the next 40 years of it.
 
2013-05-22 04:41:55 PM  

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: *looks at wife*

So... that's as good as it's gonna get.

I need a good hobby, something that will take up my time... like the next 40 years of it.


How about "chasing younger women"?
 
2013-05-22 04:42:37 PM  

miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 6 minutes too soon.


Is it our fault that you are hot and skillful at doing that thing with the peanut oil and small stuffed walrus?
 
2013-05-22 04:42:56 PM  
Some faces look better when they lose the last of the baby fat.

Well, probably most.
 
2013-05-22 04:43:00 PM  
The physical peak I'd say is around 17. You can't really say that in public, though.
 
2013-05-22 04:43:04 PM  

impaler: Men self report that "they think" beauty peaks at 29.

Actually, it's 19.


Sorry, 26 is the correct answer. I've done the math. Calculus was involved.

Your opinion is invalid.
 
2013-05-22 04:43:05 PM  

UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 2 6 minutes too soon in and then go flaccid.

I always joke about that stereotype after sex.


I'm sure you do, sweetie. I'm sure you do.

/pat
 
in
2013-05-22 04:43:50 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: But I am nice to her, why just the other day I did all the laundry. I took it down to the basement, got it all washed and dried, then brought it back up stairs and left on the bed for her to fold like she's supposed to.


Damn bro, that's like King Arthur-type chivalrous and I'm taking notes.  I thought helping out with the laundry meant hooking the washer up to the water faucet and letting her know when the buzzer goes off.
 
2013-05-22 04:44:26 PM  
Clooney keeps getting older, 29 year old women stay the same age.
 
2013-05-22 04:45:06 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: The physical peak I'd say is around 17. You can't really say that in public, though.


I'm not so sure.

The "hot because young" peak is 17, but some faces are just plain beautiful, and some of those look better a bit older.
 
2013-05-22 04:45:08 PM  
29?  pfffftttt...they're still emerging from their girl stage.
 
2013-05-22 04:45:08 PM  

in: IdBeCrazyIf: But I am nice to her, why just the other day I did all the laundry. I took it down to the basement, got it all washed and dried, then brought it back up stairs and left on the bed for her to fold like she's supposed to.

Damn bro, that's like King Arthur-type chivalrous and I'm taking notes.  I thought helping out with the laundry meant hooking the washer up to the water faucet and letting her know when the buzzer goes off.


In my defense, I do all the cooking in the house most of the time

because her cooking is awful
 
2013-05-22 04:46:00 PM  

tricycleracer: Clooney keeps getting older, 29 year old women stay the same age.


All right, all right, all right
 
2013-05-22 04:47:05 PM  
Here to make 'mens lasting time' joke but see I am too late, will have to go with the real thing later.
 
2013-05-22 04:48:39 PM  
I think women peak at 40.

Full disclosure: I'm 40, and I think I look better than I did at 29. It may just be that I know so much more than I did back then, which makes me more confident, which makes me look better. I certainly get hit on more now than I did back then. Who knows?
 
2013-05-22 04:48:58 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: The physical peak I'd say is around 17. You can't really say that in public, though.


17 year old girls are for looking at and not interacting with, as you will find out if you're ever in a situation where you have to interact with a 17 year old girl.
 
2013-05-22 04:50:21 PM  

StrandedInAZ: I think women peak at 40.

Full disclosure: I'm 40, and I think I look better than I did at 29. It may just be that I know so much more than I did back then, which makes me more confident, which makes me look better. I certainly get hit on more now than I did back then. Who knows?


Are you a man or a woman?
 
2013-05-22 04:51:08 PM  
They peak at 19, with a slow tapering off followed by a rapid plunge into oblivion from age 35 to menopause.
 
2013-05-22 04:51:08 PM  

StrandedInAZ: I think women peak at 40.

Full disclosure: I'm 40, and I think I look better than I did at 29. It may just be that I know so much more than I did back then, which makes me more confident, which makes me look better. I certainly get hit on more now than I did back then. Who knows?


Pics, we will decide
/just in case; how you doing?
 
2013-05-22 04:51:42 PM  

StrandedInAZ: I think women peak at 40.


You're not supposed to list your age in these threads, dear. Just watch what follows and learn.
 
2013-05-22 04:52:30 PM  

WhippingBoy: StrandedInAZ: I think women peak at 40.

Full disclosure: I'm 40, and I think I look better than I did at 29. It may just be that I know so much more than I did back then, which makes me more confident, which makes me look better. I certainly get hit on more now than I did back then. Who knows?

Are you a man or a woman?

Hmm, I should have asked that too.
 
2013-05-22 04:53:34 PM  
GIve me middle aged women with style, sense any day.
 
2013-05-22 04:53:48 PM  
I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...
 
2013-05-22 04:54:08 PM  

weirdneighbour: WhippingBoy: StrandedInAZ: I think women peak at 40.

Full disclosure: I'm 40, and I think I look better than I did at 29. It may just be that I know so much more than I did back then, which makes me more confident, which makes me look better. I certainly get hit on more now than I did back then. Who knows?

Are you a man or a woman?
Hmm, I should have asked that too.


It's something I learned the hard way. Let my life serve as a warning to others.
 
2013-05-22 04:54:46 PM  

Odd Bird: 29?  pfffftttt...they're still emerging from their girl stage.


And sliding comfortably into their shrieky troll stage which lasts just long enough for them to turn into adorable grandmas.

/with the lemon candies and home made cookies
//And the jars of condiments in the fridge that expired a decade ago
 
2013-05-22 04:54:51 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...


What? I thought engineering was the path to riches!
 
2013-05-22 04:56:14 PM  
I have a woman friend I've know since she was about 23; she's now 34. There's no question she's more appealing now than she was then. She acts like a woman now, as opposed to a giggly girl. She's probably one of the most attractive women I know.

I hope her husband knows how lucky he is.
 
2013-05-22 04:57:15 PM  

ph0rk: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

What? I thought engineering was the path to riches!


Competition with H1B holders is driving down wages a touch...
 
2013-05-22 04:58:29 PM  

meat0918: ph0rk: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

What? I thought engineering was the path to riches!

Competition with H1B holders is driving down wages a touch...


Gosh! That never comes up in Fark threads about how stupid degrees in English are.
 
2013-05-22 04:58:45 PM  
30 is the final step out of coked-up drunken whoredom.

Or, I need to run with a tamer crowd.

/Or I don't.
 
2013-05-22 05:00:46 PM  

Magnanimous_J: Odd Bird: 29?  pfffftttt...they're still emerging from their girl stage.

And sliding comfortably into their shrieky troll stage which lasts just long enough for them to turn into adorable grandmas.


I'm childless (in fact, I'm gay). So there will be no grandma moments for me. Although I'm gay, I get hit on by more men than women. It must be my feminine wiles.

I would post pics, but I know better than that. Plus I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

/former college track athlete; also a military vet, and I still work out at least 3X a week
//yes, I look good
 
2013-05-22 05:00:49 PM  

ph0rk: meat0918: ph0rk: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

What? I thought engineering was the path to riches!

Competition with H1B holders is driving down wages a touch...

Gosh! That never comes up in Fark threads about how stupid degrees in English are.


I like guys that hold English degrees.

They do a better job writing documentation up than I do and tend to be damn good at translating technobabble into layman's terms.
 
2013-05-22 05:02:07 PM  
Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.
 
2013-05-22 05:03:26 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.


That's one of the nicest things I've ever read on Fark.
 
2013-05-22 05:03:58 PM  
who the fark cares?
 
2013-05-22 05:04:16 PM  
They peak at 2am.
 
2013-05-22 05:04:38 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.


I'd have to agree with you here.
 
2013-05-22 05:04:44 PM  

miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 6 minutes too soon.


I like the cut of your jib.  That just got you put on my favorites list.
 
2013-05-22 05:04:44 PM  

StrandedInAZ: Magnanimous_J: Odd Bird: 29?  pfffftttt...they're still emerging from their girl stage.

And sliding comfortably into their shrieky troll stage which lasts just long enough for them to turn into adorable grandmas.

I'm childless (in fact, I'm gay). So there will be no grandma moments for me. Although I'm gay, I get hit on by more men than women. It must be my feminine wiles.

I would post pics, but I know better than that. Plus I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

/former college track athlete; also a military vet, and I still work out at least 3X a week
//yes, I look good


...which is why you felt the need to interject yourself into a comment that wasn't directed at you personally?
 
2013-05-22 05:04:53 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.


Very insightful, but you lost me with the Hallmarkesque business at the end.
 
2013-05-22 05:04:57 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...


As someone who is a) in that age bracket and b) has plenty of single female friends in the same bracket, I can say that for most of them, your age is pretty much ideal for what they looking for in a partner.

As for not being rich? I don't think that matters at all. They're looking for someone with stability who doesn't act like a teenager and/or live with their parents (which is a shockingly proportion of men our age).
 
2013-05-22 05:08:27 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.


That's beautiful, man.
 
2013-05-22 05:09:22 PM  
This is a very disappointing thread.
 
2013-05-22 05:10:16 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: This is a very disappointing thread.


The pic in your profile is somewhat disturbing.
 
2013-05-22 05:10:49 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.


Until they kill you.
 
2013-05-22 05:11:28 PM  

Magnanimous_J: StrandedInAZ: Magnanimous_J: Odd Bird: 29?  pfffftttt...they're still emerging from their girl stage.

And sliding comfortably into their shrieky troll stage which lasts just long enough for them to turn into adorable grandmas.

I'm childless (in fact, I'm gay). So there will be no grandma moments for me. Although I'm gay, I get hit on by more men than women. It must be my feminine wiles.

I would post pics, but I know better than that. Plus I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

/former college track athlete; also a military vet, and I still work out at least 3X a week
//yes, I look good

...which is why you felt the need to interject yourself into a comment that wasn't directed at you personally?


I'm sorry. I didn't know I was only allowed to respond to posts directed at me personally.  I guess I'm one of those women who doesn't know my place.

Or maybe you're just an asshole. My money's on that.
 
2013-05-22 05:11:53 PM  

StrandedInAZ: DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.

That's one of the nicest things I've ever read on Fark.


Thank you. It's just a shame I didn't learn this (or how to be this smooth) until I was 35 and had been married for five years.
 
2013-05-22 05:12:01 PM  
On the day of their first wedding.
 
2013-05-22 05:14:03 PM  

StrandedInAZ: Magnanimous_J: StrandedInAZ: Magnanimous_J: Odd Bird: 29?  pfffftttt...they're still emerging from their girl stage.

And sliding comfortably into their shrieky troll stage which lasts just long enough for them to turn into adorable grandmas.

I'm childless (in fact, I'm gay). So there will be no grandma moments for me. Although I'm gay, I get hit on by more men than women. It must be my feminine wiles.

I would post pics, but I know better than that. Plus I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

/former college track athlete; also a military vet, and I still work out at least 3X a week
//yes, I look good

...which is why you felt the need to interject yourself into a comment that wasn't directed at you personally?

I'm sorry. I didn't know I was only allowed to respond to posts directed at me personally.  I guess I'm one of those women who doesn't know my place.

Or maybe you're just an asshole. My money's on that.


Well to be fair, you did kind of answer a question that no one asked.

/just sayin'
 
2013-05-22 05:14:13 PM  

calm like a bomb: thisisyourbrainonFark: This is a very disappointing thread.

The pic in your profile is somewhat disturbing.


It was a weird time.
 
2013-05-22 05:15:25 PM  

ph0rk: meat0918: ph0rk: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

What? I thought engineering was the path to riches!

Competition with H1B holders is driving down wages a touch...

Gosh! That never comes up in Fark threads about how stupid degrees in English are.


You don't usually get many H1B visa holders going after those lucrative barista jobs.

/I believe I'm required by law to make that joke
 
2013-05-22 05:17:01 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: I never peak, she usually taps out and I'm left to lay there and try and jack it


"Try", what are you a T-Rex?
 
2013-05-22 05:18:09 PM  

toraque: You don't usually get many H1B visa holders going after those lucrative barista jobs.


I'm holding down a computer for not a fark of a lot of money. Yay, job. *twirls finger*

/former H1B holder
//What did I get it for, again? I forget...
 
2013-05-22 05:19:07 PM  

StrandedInAZ: I'm sorry. I didn't know I was only allowed to respond to posts directed at me personally.


Just seems odd that someone who is as secure with moving into her autumn years as you claim to be would take the time to hold yourself up as an contrary example to what was obviously a dickish joke.

In the future, you should read the way your words come across, because they sounded insecure to me. However, if you wanted to post those pics, I'll still take a look. You've still got some time before the gym.

StrandedInAZ: Or maybe you're just an asshole. My money's on that.


I prefer the term "classically masculine"
 
2013-05-22 05:19:27 PM  

miss diminutive: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

As someone who is a) in that age bracket and b) has plenty of single female friends in the same bracket, I can say that for most of them, your age is pretty much ideal for what they looking for in a partner.

As for not being rich? I don't think that matters at all. They're looking for someone with stability who doesn't act like a teenager and/or live with their parents (which is a shockingly proportion of men our age).


This times a billionty. My girlfriend is in that same bracket, and I too am approaching 30 with a boring job. A sense of humor, a modicum of responsibility, and interests outside of your career go a long ways. I recommend learning an instrument or some kind of physical outdoors hobby.
 
2013-05-22 05:20:41 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: calm like a bomb: thisisyourbrainonFark: This is a very disappointing thread.

The pic in your profile is somewhat disturbing.

It was a weird time.


I would guess so.  I bet you lost some weight, though.
 
2013-05-22 05:22:28 PM  
I like the 27-30 year old age for women, they lose the babyface and instead of looking hot or sexy they start to look beautiful.
 
2013-05-22 05:25:15 PM  
I was def looking my best at 24/25.

It's weird now that I'm in my 30's... I'm not longer growing "up", I'm just growing old.
 
2013-05-22 05:25:17 PM  
An average age is kind of silly because different women peak at very different ages.  Some corn-fed American country girls blossom in their late teens and then pack on pounds in their 20's.  Some Asian women look like little girls until they are 25, but then look gorgeous until they are in their 50's.
 
2013-05-22 05:25:39 PM  
I'm 41 and have learned to peak by myself quite fine. Thank Gid since I'm so old.
 
2013-05-22 05:26:14 PM  
Thank gid I thanked gid
 
2013-05-22 05:27:21 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.

Very insightful, but you lost me with the Hallmarkesque business at the end.


Learn to roll with the cheese, keep a straight face, believe it as you say it, but don't spread it on too thick.
 
2013-05-22 05:31:58 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.


Basically, you're saying there's girls, and there's women, then there's ladies.
 
2013-05-22 05:32:26 PM  

Lollipop165: I was def looking my best at 24/25.

It's weird now that I'm in my 30's... I'm not longer growing "up", I'm just growing old.


The growing old thing has gotten to me in the last year. I was fine for my early 30s even, but now I'm thinking "Well shiat it's all downhill from here, isn't it?". Bleh. I'm just gonna blame advertising.
 
2013-05-22 05:33:13 PM  
it's actually whatever age Mila Kunis is.
 
2013-05-22 05:33:24 PM  

miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 6 minutes too soon.


Heh...it amazes me when we men sell ourselves as studs yet can't farking do even sex right.
 
2013-05-22 05:34:10 PM  
Women think about sex as much as men think about shoes so men don't need to worry about it. We peak when we find a women who says yes for whatever reason.
 
2013-05-22 05:34:57 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 2 6 minutes too soon in and then go flaccid.


Sounds like you need to find a better man, baby. Sleeping with teens comes at a cost - while they will overlook your weight and looks, their quickness is sure to disappoint. I guess there are trade-offs if no one else wants you though. ;)
 
2013-05-22 05:35:17 PM  

StrandedInAZ: I think women peak at 40.

Full disclosure: I'm 40, and I think I look better than I did at 29. It may just be that I know so much more than I did back then, which makes me more confident, which makes me look better. I certainly get hit on more now than I did back then. Who knows?


Monica Bellucci is in her mid-late 40s and still kills women half her age with that great body of hers.
 
2013-05-22 05:35:20 PM  

Rwa2play: miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 6 minutes too soon.

Heh...it amazes me when we men sell ourselves as studs yet can't farking do even sex right.


I prefer odd sex. Really odd sex.
 
2013-05-22 05:38:47 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.

Very insightful, but you lost me with the Hallmarkesque business at the end.

Learn to roll with the cheese, keep a straight face, believe it as you say it, but don't spread it on too thick.


Well now you're just giving good condiment advice. I never really learned how to smooth talk, but asking questions, cracking jokes and being frank has worked for me so far.
 
2013-05-22 05:39:45 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: Basically, you're saying there's girls, and there's women, then there's ladies.


And dames. Never forget dames. Or broads.
 
2013-05-22 05:40:16 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.

Basically, you're saying there's girls, and there's women, then there's ladies.


Close, but that implies a linear development for all, but that is merely semantic and not worth the breath to debate.
 
2013-05-22 05:41:29 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...



Dude, when you turn 30, the 19 year olds suddenly want in your pants. Why? who knows, or cares.

And there's no way the 24-26 crowd thinks you're too old at 30.
 
2013-05-22 05:42:57 PM  
 
2013-05-22 05:45:00 PM  

miss diminutive: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

As someone who is a) in that age bracket and b) has plenty of single female friends in the same bracket, I can say that for most of them, your age is pretty much ideal for what they looking for in a partner.

As for not being rich? I don't think that matters at all. They're looking for someone with stability who doesn't act like a teenager and/or live with their parents (which is a shockingly proportion of men our age).


I know I'm not old yet; I'm just cynically acknowledging that I can see my window closing a little, that I didn't have as much fun in my 20 as I would have liked, and that catching up on said fun may remove me from the "stable" category for a year or two. Really, my ideal job right now would be something like doing field support for those geological monitoring units that they stick on mountaintops or something.

As far as being rich goes: I didn't mean that women are all consciously trying to snag as wealthy a guy as possible, but I do tend to think that even among younger women it plays a much larger role than they'll acknowledge. For one thing, money is either a prerequisite or proxy indicator for a lot of things women say they want in a man. When women say they want a guys who "likes to travel" or "likes to try new things" or "has interesting hobbies," it's much easier to fulfill those criteria if you have significant disposable income. Similarly, when women say they want a guy who "has goals" or " is mature" or "has his shiat together," there is an implicit assumption that this means "has a decent job."

I don't think that money is an end-all indicator, any of this is wrong, mind you, but money does make it easier to come across as fun, interesting, confident, or worth knowing in general.

/ I would probably accept a 50% pay cut and go back to living like a college student for a while to get some of this creativity/wanderlust out of my system
 
2013-05-22 05:45:58 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.

Very insightful, but you lost me with the Hallmarkesque business at the end.

Learn to roll with the cheese, keep a straight face, believe it as you say it, but don't spread it on too thick.

Well now you're just giving good condiment advice. I never really learned how to smooth talk, but asking questions, cracking jokes and being frank has worked for me so far.


Condiment, compliment, whatever. Go with what works for you, and it sounds like you can't go wrong. Rarely do people put up false fronts in the face of frank honesty.
 
2013-05-22 05:47:37 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: I don't think that money is an end-all indicator, any of this is wrong, mind you, but money does make it easier to come across as fun, interesting, confident, or worth knowing in general.

/ I would probably accept a 50% pay cut and go back to living like a college student for a while to get some of this creativity/wanderlust out of my system


I tend to disagree with your assessment, but I can totally see how it could be extremely valid for a lot of women, so I'll concede that point. However I gotta say that the fact that you know and can discuss cogently the things going on in your head is pretty darn sexy. :)
 
2013-05-22 05:47:53 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: miss diminutive: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

As someone who is a) in that age bracket and b) has plenty of single female friends in the same bracket, I can say that for most of them, your age is pretty much ideal for what they looking for in a partner.

As for not being rich? I don't think that matters at all. They're looking for someone with stability who doesn't act like a teenager and/or live with their parents (which is a shockingly proportion of men our age).

I know I'm not old yet; I'm just cynically acknowledging that I can see my window closing a little, that I didn't have as much fun in my 20 as I would have liked, and that catching up on said fun may remove me from the "stable" category for a year or two. Really, my ideal job right now would be something like doing field support for those geological monitoring units that they stick on mountaintops or something.

As far as being rich goes: I didn't mean that women are all consciously trying to snag as wealthy a guy as possible, but I do tend to think that even among younger women it plays a much larger role than they'll acknowledge. For one thing, money is either a prerequisite or proxy indicator for a lot of things women say they want in a man. When women say they want a guys who "likes to travel" or "likes to try new things" or "has interesting hobbies," it's much easier to fulfill those criteria if you have significant disposable income. Similarly, when women say they want a guy who "has goals" or " is mature" or "has his shiat together," there is an implicit assumption that this means "has a decent job."

I don't thi ...


The number of unemployed assholes that I know who get their girlfriends to pay for *everything* seems to suggest that in some cases, having money, ambition, and stability is considered a detriment in certain circles.
 
2013-05-22 05:49:04 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.

Very insightful, but you lost me with the Hallmarkesque business at the end.

Learn to roll with the cheese, keep a straight face, believe it as you say it, but don't spread it on too thick.

Well now you're just giving good condiment advice. I never really learned how to smooth talk, but asking questions, cracking jokes and being frank has worked for me so far.

Condiment, compliment, whatever. Go with what works for you, and it sounds like you can't go wrong. Rarely do people put up false fronts in the face of frank honesty.


Put mustard on a hotdog, but not ketchup or (hork!) relish.
 
2013-05-22 05:51:28 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: DreamyAltarBoy: UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.

Very insightful, but you lost me with the Hallmarkesque business at the end.

Learn to roll with the cheese, keep a straight face, believe it as you say it, but don't spread it on too thick.

Well now you're just giving good condiment advice. I never really learned how to smooth talk, but asking questions, cracking jokes and being frank has worked for me so far.

Condiment, compliment, whatever. Go with what works for you, and it sounds like you can't go wrong. Rarely do people put up false fronts in the face of frank honesty.

Put mustard on a hotdog, but not ketchup or (hork!) relish.


Mustard, kraut and onions, but carry breath mints.
 
2013-05-22 05:58:27 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: I know I'm not old yet; I'm just cynically acknowledging that I can see my window closing a little, that I didn't have as much fun in my 20 as I would have liked,


I just turned 30 myself and the time in history that we were in our 20's was an AWFUL time. Don't get too down about it.

Martian_Astronomer: As far as being rich goes: I didn't mean that women are all consciously trying to snag as wealthy a guy as possible, but I do tend to think that even among younger women it plays a much larger role than they'll acknowledge. For one thing, money is either a prerequisite or proxy indicator for a lot of things women say they want in a man. When women say they want a guys who "likes to travel" or "likes to try new things" or "has interesting hobbies," it's much easier to fulfill those criteria if you have significant disposable income. Similarly, when women say they want a guy who "has goals" or " is mature" or "has his shiat together," there is an implicit assumption that this means "has a decent job."


Could not be more right. All those traits they claim to want are thinly veiled references to wealth. How wealthy is enough? Exactly 25% more wealthy then they are used to, no matter what that may be.


But where you are going wrong is letting them dictate the terms of the arrangement. Remember, you aren't the one with the shelf life. You are also the one with the options. No one's going to call you a spinster if you never marry. No one is going to feel sorry for you as you live the rest of your life doing what YOU want to do. No one is going to make disparaging remarks about your character if you go from one girlfriend to another. Enjoy your time and keep in mind that in about 5 years, they are going to start running after you like you're the last lifeboat on the Titanic. Then it's Martian's turn.
 
2013-05-22 06:01:30 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.


Well, at least until the freezer burn sets in.
 
2013-05-22 06:01:56 PM  
IMO physically they peak around 22.  However they are too sexually timid and inexperienced and lack sensuality at that age, so it takes them a few years to reach their sexiness peak at 28 ... then their boobs go flat and they start getting cottage cheese dimples.  But we love em anyway, because we're not getting any younger either.
 
2013-05-22 06:02:36 PM  

calm like a bomb: thisisyourbrainonFark: This is a very disappointing thread.

The pic in your profile is somewhat disturbing.


Yes, yes it is.
 
2013-05-22 06:03:12 PM  

spiderpaz: IMO physically they peak around 22.  However they are too sexually timid and inexperienced and lack sensuality at that age, so it takes them a few years to reach their sexiness peak at 28 ... then their boobs go flat and they start getting cottage cheese dimples.  But we love em anyway, because we're not getting any younger either.


Except that men age like a fine wine, women age like milk.
 
2013-05-22 06:05:02 PM  

StrandedInAZ: I think women peak at 40.

Full disclosure: I'm 40, and I think I look better than I did at 29. It may just be that I know so much more than I did back then, which makes me more confident, which makes me look better. I certainly get hit on more now than I did back then. Who knows?


That's just your eyesight going out and your memory losing clarity.
 
2013-05-22 06:06:08 PM  

spiderpaz: StrandedInAZ: I think women peak at 40.

Full disclosure: I'm 40, and I think I look better than I did at 29. It may just be that I know so much more than I did back then, which makes me more confident, which makes me look better. I certainly get hit on more now than I did back then. Who knows?

That's just your eyesight going out and your memory losing clarity.


Just be kind and don't tell her *why* she's getting hit on more now.
 
2013-05-22 06:14:57 PM  

waterrockets: who the fark cares?


FarkIThinkI'mAManlyMan(TM) does. Try telling them otherwise.

/also, studman69
 
2013-05-22 06:15:34 PM  
At 29 you are past that youthful look, and in many cases you are expanding at an alarming rate.  Especially in the south....
 What is so amazing at 23 just does not look the same at 29 or 31.  Now thats not to say that you can still look damn good at that age but come on now...
 
2013-05-22 06:16:15 PM  
Begs to differ:  i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-22 06:16:51 PM  

James_Corn: ;)


Oh Good. I didn't want to hurt your feelings without true merit.
 
2013-05-22 06:18:27 PM  
DreamyAltarBoy: I May Be Crazy But...: DreamyAltarBoy: UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: UrukHaiGuyz: DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.

Condiment, compliment, whatever. Go with what works for you, and it sounds like you can't go wrong. Rarely do people put up false fronts in the face of frank honesty.


The biggest favor I ever did myself was gradually cutting all the insincere, fake people out of my life.

Mustard, kraut and onions, but carry breath mints.

I like your style.
 
2013-05-22 06:18:51 PM  

miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 6 minutes too soon.


So if my calculations are correct it takes you 6 minutes and 12 seconds to get off?
 
2013-05-22 06:19:16 PM  
I thought Garfunkel and Oates covered this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-gfxjAaZg0
 
2013-05-22 06:25:18 PM  
Beg to differ, pt 2:   i.imgur.com  i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-22 06:31:32 PM  

Jose628: Beg to differ, pt 2:   [i.imgur.com image 319x384]  [i.imgur.com image 335x325]


Better example of the difference between 19 and 29:
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-22 06:32:49 PM  
I've always been attracted to older women, still am.  I used to fantasize about an older lady seducing me...uh, I guess I still do, but I'm talking about teenage permaboner years when the thought never leaves your mind.

Now I'm 32 and get attention from women 10 years older and 10 years younger.  That 20 year swing has a vast difference...but I enjoy them in their own right.

/Love me some women
//Too bad I'm too busy to do anything about it...
 
2013-05-22 06:32:49 PM  
Reversely?

www.kingfishmedia.com
/word
 
2013-05-22 06:35:29 PM  
Reversely?
 
2013-05-22 06:35:50 PM  

WhippingBoy: spiderpaz: IMO physically they peak around 22.  However they are too sexually timid and inexperienced and lack sensuality at that age, so it takes them a few years to reach their sexiness peak at 28 ... then their boobs go flat and they start getting cottage cheese dimples.  But we love em anyway, because we're not getting any younger either.

Except that men age like a fine wine, women age like milk.


It is a sad truth in our society that men get to age with dignity and develop a "distinguished" look while women rot.  It's not fair, but it is what it is.  Women have it pretty damn good in their prime while it lasts.  A hot 20 something woman has a lot of perks and advantages that no other demographic has.  The catch is how cruelly it is taken from them once their looks are gone.
 
2013-05-22 06:39:57 PM  

Gulper Eel: I May Be Crazy But...: Basically, you're saying there's girls, and there's women, then there's ladies.

And dames. Never forget dames. Or broads.


Skirts
 
2013-05-22 06:41:05 PM  

Jose628: Beg to differ, pt 2:   [i.imgur.com image 319x384]  [i.imgur.com image 335x325]


She has the face of a child in the first image. Not hot.
 
2013-05-22 06:44:28 PM  

miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 6 minutes too soon.


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-22 06:45:35 PM  

spiderpaz: Jose628: Beg to differ, pt 2:   [i.imgur.com image 319x384]  [i.imgur.com image 335x325]

Better example of the difference between 19 and 29:
[i.imgur.com image 600x438]


Yeah, well, most women don't spend 10+ years on hard drug binges that turn them into raving loonatics, so, there is that.
 
2013-05-22 07:03:35 PM  
impaler:

Men self report that "they think" beauty peaks at 29.

Actually, it's 19.


Came to say that. GMTA!

What happens at 29 is by then we pretty much know who know we are, where we fit into the world, what we like and what we're capable of. At that age women are much more fun to partner with.
 
2013-05-22 07:04:04 PM  

spiderpaz: WhippingBoy: spiderpaz: IMO physically they peak around 22.  However they are too sexually timid and inexperienced and lack sensuality at that age, so it takes them a few years to reach their sexiness peak at 28 ... then their boobs go flat and they start getting cottage cheese dimples.  But we love em anyway, because we're not getting any younger either.

Except that men age like a fine wine, women age like milk.

It is a sad truth in our society that men get to age with dignity and develop a "distinguished" look while women rot.  It's not fair, but it is what it is.  Women have it pretty damn good in their prime while it lasts.  A hot 20 something woman has a lot of perks and advantages that no other demographic has.  The catch is how cruelly it is taken from them once their looks are gone.


Heh. I was an awkward looking 20-something guy, but I'[m actually a fairly good looking 30-something. Never got fat, never lost my hair, never did the desperately-clinging-to-my-youth goatee thing. So it's basically all the same features. They just somehow look better. Of course, that could just be relative to the looks of women in my age-group.

Holy hell, did nature hand them a beat down. Like, out of nowhere. Just woke up that way one day...
 
2013-05-22 07:22:00 PM  
IdBeCrazyIf:

I never peak, she usually taps out and I'm left to lay there and try and jack it

In my 30s that happened all the time, a side-effect of Zoloft. Half the time I hardly felt anything myself, I'd just practice my rhythm and technique. For women who wanted it to last it was fine; for those who wanted me to get off it was frustrating.

Then around 40 Zoloft stopped improving my mood and I had to switch to Celexa, which didn't have that side effect. In fact it did the reverse: two minutes of "WOW! This feels fanTAStic!" -- followed by three minutes of ecstasy with my eyes rolling back into my head and my heart pounding really hard, then two minutes of apologizing, then going right to sleep. It got so I'd avoid sex because it caused too much guilt and embarrassment. (Is it any wonder I've been single for 4 years and ain't had sex in 5?)

OTOH jacking off takes me an hour: by the time I get close my arm is TIRED. It's almost not worth the trouble: I can always just drink till I go to sleep.

Anyway. These days I'd just as soon pay for a BJ, after which walk her to the door, shake her hand, thank her sincerely, and then go straight to sleep. (EIP!)

Failing that, well, Heaven Hill Rum is $7 a fifth. YMMV.
 
2013-05-22 07:22:54 PM  

miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 6 minutes too soon.



Maybe you should give yourself a head start.
 
2013-05-22 07:25:11 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: GIve me middle aged women with style, sense any day.



This. Then again, I am in my fifties.
 
2013-05-22 07:27:57 PM  
ph0rk:

The "hot because young" peak is 17, but some faces are just plain beautiful, and some of those look better a bit older.

That happens around 29. Part of it is the mature expression. If I were soberer I'd track down jpegs of celebrities to illustrate.
 
2013-05-22 07:29:58 PM  
StrandedInAZ:

I think women peak at 40.

Full disclosure: I'm 40, and I think I look better than I did at 29. It may just be that I know so much more than I did back then, which makes me more confident, which makes me look better. I certainly get hit on more now than I did back then. Who knows?


EIP!
 
2013-05-22 07:31:14 PM  

poot_rootbeer: God-is-a-Taco:

The physical peak I'd say is around 17. You can't really say that in public, though.

17 year old girls are for looking at and not interacting with, as you will find out if you're ever in a situation where you have to interact with a 17 year old girl.


Bingo. Nobody's really worth interacting with till ~25 or so, not even with a very high IQ.
 
2013-05-22 07:31:15 PM  

miss diminutive: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

As someone who is a) in that age bracket and b) has plenty of single female friends in the same bracket, I can say that for most of them, your age is pretty much ideal for what they looking for in a partner.

As for not being rich? I don't think that matters at all. They're looking for someone with stability who doesn't act like a teenager and/or live with their parents (which is a shockingly proportion of men our age).


Me and my gf are in that age range. I've noticed along with other friends that girls want something stable but they're not exactly happy with what we make (even if we make the same as them). I think it's just a sign of age and constantly wanting everything/impatience. Guys are fine with themselves financially but the maturity isn't there yet with the girls. It's not like break up mode or anything, but financials are the biggest and most constant strain on us.
 
2013-05-22 07:32:14 PM  
Clemkadidlefark:

GIve me middle aged women with style, sense any day.

Jennifer Aniston.
 
2013-05-22 07:36:30 PM  
StrandedInAZ:

I'm childless (in fact, I'm gay). So there will be no grandma moments for me. Although I'm gay, I get hit on by more men than women. It must be my feminine wiles.

I would post pics, but I know better than that. Plus I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

/former college track athlete; also a military vet, and I still work out at least 3X a week


None of this would faze me in the slightest. I'll even do your laundry, clean your bathroom, vacuum and take out the trash. Just parade around in your underwear a few minutes every evening and I'll take care of the rest. Please?!?

/ Old, ugly, male, but very very nice and excruciatingly grateful.
 
2013-05-22 07:38:29 PM  

Magnanimous_J: StrandedInAZ: Magnanimous_J: Odd Bird: 29?  pfffftttt...they're still emerging from their girl stage.

And sliding comfortably into their shrieky troll stage which lasts just long enough for them to turn into adorable grandmas.

I'm childless (in fact, I'm gay). So there will be no grandma moments for me. Although I'm gay, I get hit on by more men than women. It must be my feminine wiles.

I would post pics, but I know better than that. Plus I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

/former college track athlete; also a military vet, and I still work out at least 3X a week
//yes, I look good

...which is why you felt the need to interject yourself into a comment that wasn't directed at you personally?


Oh come on. At my age cockteasing is all I'm getting for free, and even that takes begging.
 
2013-05-22 07:47:35 PM  

Mr.Poops: I like the 27-30 year old age for women, they lose the babyface and instead of looking hot or sexy they start to look beautiful.


The ones you look at, maybe.
 
2013-05-22 07:48:43 PM  
WhippingBoy:

that men age like a fine wine, women age like milk.

Bullshiat. After 35 I went quickly and completely to seed, now at 50 I look like death not warmed over quite enough.

The ex is 40 and still looks 29, i.e. at her best. Where's my Euthansia Centre?!?
 
2013-05-22 07:50:47 PM  

The One True TheDavid: ph0rk:

The "hot because young" peak is 17, but some faces are just plain beautiful, and some of those look better a bit older.

That happens around 29. Part of it is the mature expression. If I were soberer I'd track down jpegs of celebrities to illustrate.


Because celebrities are celebrated because they're typical people.
 
2013-05-22 07:54:03 PM  
Rwa2play:
Monica Bellucci is in her mid-late 40s and still kills women half her age with that great body of hers.

Pics?
 
2013-05-22 08:10:15 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: The One True TheDavid: ph0rk:

The "hot because young" peak is 17, but some faces are just plain beautiful, and some of those look better a bit older.

That happens around 29. Part of it is the mature expression. If I were soberer I'd track down jpegs of celebrities to illustrate.

Because celebrities are celebrated because they're typical people.


No. Celebrities are celebrated because they suck off the right people.

There are women here in Lexington I see around who illustrate my point about age 29, but I doubt they'd allow me to post their photos here. First I'd have to get over being too tongue-tied to meet them...
 
2013-05-22 08:11:42 PM  
I suppose I did it all backwards. I was the fat 20-30 something chick that got in shape before 40. Now I have guys from 20s and 30s that hit on me and I find it disturbing. I think there is something to be said for the older sophisticated women but I think we need to stay in our age bracket. I just wish I knew how to be the hot older woman. I just feel like a fat old lady.
 
2013-05-22 08:18:43 PM  

ph0rk: meat0918: ph0rk: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

What? I thought engineering was the path to riches!

Competition with H1B holders is driving down wages a touch...

Gosh! That never comes up in Fark threads about how stupid degrees in English are.


You need an actual job before it can be given to an H1B.
 
2013-05-22 08:24:00 PM  
Lena Headly, better looking at 39 than at 29.
 
2013-05-22 08:45:22 PM  
best friend/ adoptive little sister is the most attractive woman I know, and while she is in her early 20s, she shows an uncanny ability to be serious when she wants to.  Combination of the best of both worlds.  Whoever she ends up with, he's a lucky bastard.

I'll take a woman in her 30s.  wine and all that...

/30s
 
2013-05-22 08:46:34 PM  
You know most of the male poster on here sound gay
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
Not that there is anything wrong with that

It all depends on the woman, when I attended my 25 year HS reunion many of the "hotties: from my senior year looked like they had been ridden hard and put away wet and a few of the ho hums were incredible,
 
2013-05-22 08:48:25 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: The physical peak I'd say is around 17. You can't really say that in public, though.


Seventeen year olds can be very physically attractive but then they open their mouths and something terrible comes out...Words. Words chosen by a seventeen year old brain. Their beauty dissolves away and I find myself wanting to be as far away as I can from this hideous creature that won't stop spouting idiocy.
I think age limits protect children from perverts and the sanity of normal adults from temptation.
 
2013-05-22 09:03:55 PM  
Some guys think girls peak at 96.  Months.
 
2013-05-22 09:09:05 PM  

Jose628: Beg to differ, pt 2:


Oh hells no.

Young Jennifer Connelly beats old and too skinny Jennifer Connelly every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

And Brooke Shields has had more plastic "intervention" than a Lego factory.
 
2013-05-22 09:11:49 PM  

The One True TheDavid: IdBeCrazyIf:

I never peak, she usually taps out and I'm left to lay there and try and jack it

In my 30s that happened all the time, a side-effect of Zoloft. Half the time I hardly felt anything myself, I'd just practice my rhythm and technique. For women who wanted it to last it was fine; for those who wanted me to get off it was frustrating.

Then around 40 Zoloft stopped improving my mood and I had to switch to Celexa, which didn't have that side effect. In fact it did the reverse: two minutes of "WOW! This feels fanTAStic!" -- followed by three minutes of ecstasy with my eyes rolling back into my head and my heart pounding really hard, then two minutes of apologizing, then going right to sleep. It got so I'd avoid sex because it caused too much guilt and embarrassment. (Is it any wonder I've been single for 4 years and ain't had sex in 5?)

OTOH jacking off takes me an hour: by the time I get close my arm is TIRED. It's almost not worth the trouble: I can always just drink till I go to sleep.

Anyway. These days I'd just as soon pay for a BJ, after which walk her to the door, shake her hand, thank her sincerely, and then go straight to sleep. (EIP!)

Failing that, well, Heaven Hill Rum is $7 a fifth. YMMV.


I feel a lot better about myself now....but feel bad for you.
 
2013-05-22 09:23:11 PM  

bleeding_heart_fascist: I thought Garfunkel and Oates covered this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-gfxjAaZg0


i.imgur.com

 
2013-05-22 09:24:14 PM  

miss diminutive: As for not being rich? I don't think that matters at all. They're looking for someone with stability who doesn't act like a teenager and/or live with their parents (which is a shockingly proportion of men our age).


I'm in my early thirties and live with my parents.  Sure, I would love to have my own place, but on the other hand I can sock away money for the future at a rate my coworkers can't match.  Financial stability is a very important trait to seek in a mate, seeing as money troubles is a top reason for marriage difficulties.
 
2013-05-22 09:28:12 PM  

Coach_J: Jose628: Beg to differ, pt 2:
Oh hells no.

Young Jennifer Connelly beats old and too skinny Jennifer Connelly every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

And Brooke Shields has had more plastic "intervention" than a Lego factory.




She had a nice long plateau, but let's be honest here.

i43.tinypic.com
Women's perceived physical beauty closely matches their years of peak fertility. It's no coincidence. Some confusion is caused by popular usage of the word addressing personal qualities that have nothing to do with physical beauty. Some very pretty people are very ugly inside. Like most men, I can be intensely attracted to women I don't even like. Most women are confused by this admission.
 
2013-05-22 09:51:10 PM  

Aidan: Lollipop165: I was def looking my best at 24/25.

It's weird now that I'm in my 30's... I'm not longer growing "up", I'm just growing old.

The growing old thing has gotten to me in the last year. I was fine for my early 30s even, but now I'm thinking "Well shiat it's all downhill from here, isn't it?". Bleh. I'm just gonna blame advertising.


Really?   Oh, my.  I'm coming up on 52 & I look & feel great (shall I say "for my age"?).  I'm starting up the next hill & looking forward to it.

My goddess, we are so very hung up on age & such narrow requirements for beauty.   In my mid 30's I took a hard look at my lifestyle choices & got to work.  Eating right, exercise, etc., etc. can make you feel better about yourself & that is where it begins. Finding anti-aging medicine really turned back the clock. My 40's were liberating because I knew who I was, what I wanted from life & stopped comparing myself to the impossible standards of our society (like some of you farkers).  Another big help was deciding to start eliminating toxic people from my life.

As women age in America, lots of men stop seeing you.  Who cares.  Let them chase the younger ones.  Maybe because of this attitude & taking really good care of myself, men in their 20's (too young) & 30's were plentiful.  And then, when I least expected it, I met a European....ah, a lovely culture that appreciates older women.  Then, what do you know, married at 48.  Never saw that coming.  Or even wanted it.

It's never too late.  Don't let the media or anyone tell you that you aren't good enough.  No one is perfect, but we can all work with what we've got & find someone who appreciates us.  There are so many lonely people out there, all thinking they can't be loved for who they are.  It's sad, but fixable.  It's harder when your biological clock is ticking (never had that problem), but that makes giving up even more tragic.

/really need to start a geek dating service.....
 
2013-05-22 09:51:28 PM  

State_College_Arsonist: miss diminutive: As for not being rich? I don't think that matters at all. They're looking for someone with stability who doesn't act like a teenager and/or live with their parents (which is a shockingly proportion of men our age).

I'm in my early thirties and live with my parents.  Sure, I would love to have my own place, but on the other hand I can sock away money for the future at a rate my coworkers can't match.  Financial stability is a very important trait to seek in a mate, seeing as money troubles is a top reason for marriage difficulties.


Maybe marriage is a top reason for money troubles.

And seriously, you need to leave the nest.  Your parents deserve a break.
 
2013-05-22 09:55:10 PM  

meat0918: ph0rk: Martian_Astronomer: I would tend to say the 24-26 range, not only physically, but also because psychologically it's that golden window of serious optimism between youthful frivolity and dissilusioned bitterness.

Unfortunately, I am about to turn 30, have a boring job, and am not rich, so that age range is now out of my grasp unless I can reinvent myself. I'm seriously considering taking time off from engineering...

What? I thought engineering was the path to riches!

Competition with H1B holders is driving down wages a touch...


New immigration bill doubles the number of H1-Bs.
 
2013-05-22 09:56:31 PM  
Physical peak for women is closer to 18-20.  After that, it is all downhill.

Most can compensate by not acting like an 18-20 year old anymore, by being stable, charming, and confident.

Just like men can compensate for things that are not desirable about them by having money and power.
 
lmb
2013-05-22 10:13:05 PM  
While beauty may peak at a younger age, I know for a fact women are sexier in their 40's. I was 22 & my now wife was 39 when we got together. Women who have it together upstairs and are easy on the eyes are a match made in heaven.
 
2013-05-22 10:17:57 PM  
 
2013-05-22 10:20:57 PM  
Female peak is 20-23, and decidedly downhill from 26, at least for most women.  But then most US women are fatties, so it's really n/a.
 
2013-05-22 10:26:34 PM  
Doesnt take into account the genetic freaks.

I dated a woman who was 53 years old and she was more beautiful than 99% of the 25-35yo women I've ever met.  Seriously.

Not EVERY man sees beauty as a youthful face....I actually PREFER more mature women, and find them FAR sexier.  The way they carry themselves...with an aire of confidence, elegance, and grace that NO 20-something I have ever met possesses.

As far as the bedroom goes, you haven't LIVED until you've had sex with a woman who is 100% comfortable with her body, and has NO qualms about exploring and having fun when it comes to sex....all qualities you normally find in more mature women.
 
2013-05-22 10:29:02 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.


And speaking of English majors, tonight's Plagiarize John Keats winner is......
 
2013-05-22 10:40:10 PM  

Ima_Lurker: miss diminutive: In my experience, men tend to peak about 6 minutes too soon.

I like the cut of your jib.  That just got you put on my favorites list.


I'm pretty sure she's on everyone's favorite list.
 
2013-05-22 10:47:48 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: But then most US women are fatties, so it's really n/a.


QFT. Shop around, kids. It's a big, wide world.

American women get married, have the first kid, and then methodically desexualize themselves into the "mommy" role. They chop off hair, forget how makeup works, put on the sweatpants, and never take them off again. That a cultural thing.

Of course, American men being what they are, I'm not entirely sure I could blame women for losing interest in being a wife.
 
2013-05-22 11:03:32 PM  

Bumblefark: BolshyGreatYarblocks: But then most US women are fatties, so it's really n/a.

QFT. Shop around, kids. It's a big, wide world.

American women get married, have the first kid, and then methodically desexualize themselves into the "mommy" role. They chop off hair, forget how makeup works, put on the sweatpants, and never take them off again. That a cultural thing.

Of course, American men being what they are, I'm not entirely sure I could blame women for losing interest in being a wife.


Which explains the current American divorce rate...
 
2013-05-22 11:51:20 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: I never peak, she usually taps out and I'm left to lay there and try and jack it


The other day I heard 'will you go already'

nice.
 
2013-05-22 11:59:25 PM  
29 seems rather high to me.  Most American women are fat slobs by then.  I would say their beauty peaks around 21 to 23.
 
2013-05-23 12:07:56 AM  
 
2013-05-23 12:10:34 AM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: DreamyAltarBoy: Less than average women peak at 19 because the blush of youth is all they've got, average women peak at about 29, but truly beautiful women are a joy forever.

And speaking of English majors, tonight's Plagiarize John Keats winner is......


Shhh! We don't speak of English majors around here.
 
2013-05-23 12:50:53 AM  
FTA: Survey reveals men think women's beauty peaks at age 29.

This must be part of the metric system I hear so much about.  So if I plug 29 into a kilometer to miles conversion - I arrive at 18.  Coincidence...?  I THINK NOT.
 
2013-05-23 12:58:42 AM  

Dellirium: Bumblefark: BolshyGreatYarblocks: But then most US women are fatties, so it's really n/a.

QFT. Shop around, kids. It's a big, wide world.

American women get married, have the first kid, and then methodically desexualize themselves into the "mommy" role. They chop off hair, forget how makeup works, put on the sweatpants, and never take them off again. That a cultural thing.

Of course, American men being what they are, I'm not entirely sure I could blame women for losing interest in being a wife.

Which explains the current American divorce rate...


Yep. It's as if American marriage has actually morphed into the sit-com template of "fat ignorant slob" married to "overbearing, mommy-ish harpie." Except, unlike on TV, the wife isn't hot. And, instead of everything always working out at the end of the half hour, people do what any sane human being would do in that situation -- GTFO.
 
2013-05-23 01:23:15 AM  
TrainingWheelsNeeded:
IdBeCrazyIf: I never peak, she usually taps out and I'm left to lay there and try and jack it

""Try", what are you a T-Rex?"

Bwahaha! Thanks for making my night with that mental image.
 
2013-05-23 04:33:32 AM  
Let's take a sampling of yummy celebrities, shall we? I'll get the ball rolling.

First, I define "peaked" as "will never be more beautiful than when she was..." - which doesn't mean a woman isn't gorgeous/hot/sexy/yummy/whistle-worthy/jaw-dropping after her peak. Hell, her peak could be a long plateau (Catherine Zeta-Jones, Monica Bellucci, Carla Gugino, Diane Lane, Kate Beckinsale, Salma Hayek, Ashley Judd, Charlize Theron) but at some point she's done getting more beautiful. That's her peak.

Alexis Bledel peaked ~25 (end of "Gilmore Girls"), has since become a little gaunt

Aimee Teegarden peaking now?

Alicia Witt peaked ~25

Alison Brie peaking now

Ashley Judd plateau'd from 23 to 37 ("STNG" through "De-Lovely")

Carla Gugino plateau'd from 25 to 38 ("Spin City" through "Entourage")

Catherine Zeta-Jones plateau'd from 25 to 33 ("The Phantom" through "Chicago")

Charlize Theron plateau'd from her teens (modeling) to present

Christina Applegate peaked ~29 to 31 ("The Sweetest Thing")

Christina Aguilera peaked at 24 (about 9 years ago)

Diane Lane peaked from 19 to 40 ("Streets of Fire" through "Must Love Dogs")

Elisha Cuthbert peaked ~ 22 ("The Girl Next Door")

Won't bother with more for now, since the thread seems to be dying (dead?).
 
2013-05-23 06:08:35 AM  
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2013-05-23 08:00:53 AM  

spiderpaz: It is a sad truth in our society that men get to age with dignity and develop a "distinguished" look while women rot.  It's not fair, but it is what it is.  Women have it pretty damn good in their prime while it lasts.  A hot 20 something woman has a lot of perks and advantages that no other demographic has.  The catch is how cruelly it is taken from them once their looks are gone.


True, but not all women. While the hot 20 something woman has perks and advantages, the average 20 something woman doesn't. The attractive ones get so much attention the not so attractive ones are not even on anyone's radar. Unlike men who will have their turn in becoming desirable as they age and acquire wealth and the much lauded 'stability', the average woman has no such options. Which is also why it annoys me when men declare that women who do become spinsters were obviously too fussy in their youth, as if every woman in their youth was as equally desirable as another.

That is part of the unfairness of life, if you lucked out in the genetic lottery in the looks department as a woman, you can't make yourself desirable by acquiring wealth or power, and you never actually get your day in the sun.

I wonder whether it is worse to have had the looks and all that goes with it only to lose it with age, or to never have had it at all and thus never know what you were missing.
 
2013-05-23 08:24:42 AM  

Nidiot: True, but not all women. While the hot 20 something woman has perks and advantages, the average 20 something woman doesn't.


That's not even remotely true, unless the 20 something year old in question is literally hideous. If she works a bit harder, the average 20 something woman has most of the perks as the hot 20 something woman; she just lacks the self-confidence to realize them.
 
2013-05-23 10:59:22 AM  
I met Mrs. Eel when she was 30, and while she was plenty fine then, over the past 10 years she's taken up running, yoga and better nutrition for both of us...so at any rate, now at 44 she absolutely slays me.
 
2013-05-23 01:57:58 PM  

chaosangel: It's never too late. Don't let the media or anyone tell you that you aren't good enough. No one is perfect, but we can all work with what we've got & find someone who appreciates us. There are so many lonely people out there, all thinking they can't be loved for who they are. It's sad, but fixable. It's harder when your biological clock is ticking (never had that problem), but that makes giving up even more tragic.


I like you. You sound awesome. :)
 
2013-05-23 02:15:28 PM  

sleep lack: [asian aging pic]


Like grumpy cat, I will never *not* laugh at that picture. The peeking up at 120 gets me every time.
 
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