Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New York Times)   An underground nightclub in a rooftop water tower   (nytimes.com) divider line 68
    More: Cool, upright bass, society  
•       •       •

10817 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2013 at 4:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-05-22 03:27:53 PM  
If only they weren't so exclusive.
thesportshernia.com
mazzello.com
 
2013-05-22 03:38:18 PM  
Why do I feel like getting a SawsAll and cutting down one of the legs of that water tower?  I don't think much of value would be lost.

/Except maybe whatever it landed on on the street below.
 
2013-05-22 03:58:32 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-22 03:59:05 PM  
This place has everything: cholos, puke people, a sheepdog that looks like Bruce Vilanch, and entire room of puppets doing karate.
 
2013-05-22 04:07:58 PM  
Came for Stefon, leaving satisfied.
 
2013-05-22 04:21:56 PM  

EvilEgg: Why do I feel like getting a SawsAll and cutting down one of the legs of that water tower?  I don't think much of value would be lost.

/Except maybe whatever it landed on on the street below.


I don't know.  I'm not sure why the idea of people having a good time gets you all homicidal, but I think there's medication for that.
 
2013-05-22 04:37:13 PM  
That sounds obnoxiously hipsterish.
 
2013-05-22 04:45:26 PM  

FlashHarry: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x172]


Came to post this, leaving satisfied.
 
2013-05-22 04:46:28 PM  
Where do I piss out all the booze?
 
2013-05-22 04:47:25 PM  
That looks cramped and awful.
 
2013-05-22 04:47:35 PM  
www.myuselessknowledge.com

Not amused.
 
2013-05-22 04:48:45 PM  
Elisa Lam approves.

/too soon?
 
2013-05-22 04:49:14 PM  
What?!?!?  Someone is smoking a cigarette in NY!!

/Would love to crop dust in there.
 
2013-05-22 04:51:03 PM  
 
2013-05-22 04:51:13 PM  

Sybarite: This place has everything: cholos, puke people, a sheepdog that looks like Bruce Vilanch, and entire room of puppets doing karate.


yeah but where are the the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads?
 
2013-05-22 04:52:30 PM  
Looks like a cool joint. Too bad about the hipster infestation though.
 
2013-05-22 04:52:33 PM  

under a mountain: What?!?!?  Someone is smoking a cigarette in NY!!

/Would love to crop dust in there.


looks like a vapor/e-cig
 
2013-05-22 04:54:15 PM  

FlashHarry: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x172]


New York's hottest club is called "The Night Heron."  Located in an empty water tower in Chelsea, this club has everything: mold, tiny pianos doubling as tables, a two-man polka band suspended from the ceiling, rickety ladders, and look, is that Hugh Laurie?  No, it's a unshaved hobo brought in to drink all your brandy.
 
2013-05-22 04:54:44 PM  

Headso: Sybarite: This place has everything: cholos, puke people, a sheepdog that looks like Bruce Vilanch, and entire room of puppets doing karate.

yeah but where are the the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads?


probably in chicago thinking ferris is a richous dude
 
2013-05-22 04:56:02 PM  

titwrench: under a mountain: What?!?!?  Someone is smoking a cigarette in NY!!

/Would love to crop dust in there.

looks like a vapor/e-cig


Well I'm sure that is frowned upon also.
 
2013-05-22 04:56:24 PM  

under a mountain: What?!?!?  Someone is smoking a cigarette in NY!!

/Would love to crop dust in there.


Looks like an e-cig.

Other than that, it's pretty absurd hipster bullshiat.
 
2013-05-22 04:56:26 PM  
And when I got there, this dude in a lawn chair was pinching the air, and saying, "I'm squishing your head"
 
2013-05-22 04:56:28 PM  

preppyop:

probably in chicago thinking ferris is a richous dude


static.comicvine.com
 
2013-05-22 04:57:33 PM  
I used to be into this club but now it's too mainstream.  The ones I go to now are much more obscure.
 
2013-05-22 05:04:20 PM  
Stefon FTW!!
 
2013-05-22 05:04:34 PM  

calm like a bomb: I used to be into this club but now it's too mainstream.  The ones I go to now are much more obscure.


Feel proud champ
 
2013-05-22 05:05:47 PM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: calm like a bomb: I used to be into this club but now it's too mainstream.  The ones I go to now are much more obscure.

Feel proud champ


Oh, I do.  I do.
 
2013-05-22 05:06:54 PM  

miss diminutive: Came for Stefon, leaving satisfied.

 
2013-05-22 05:07:52 PM  
Egregious scaffold fines? Yeah, I'd feel safe in a place with that kind of track record.
 
2013-05-22 05:08:16 PM  

movieman_1979: miss diminutive: Came for Stefon, leaving satisfied.


ditto-ooooooooo
 
2013-05-22 05:08:38 PM  

busy chillin': preppyop:

probably in chicago thinking ferris is a richous dude

[static.comicvine.com image 345x246]


of course i screwed up the funny part by spelling it even more wrong.  this definition always made me laugh though http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=richeous">http://www.u rbandictionary.com/define.php?term=richeous
 
2013-05-22 05:17:49 PM  
 
2013-05-22 05:19:05 PM  
The owners?

665880566.r.lightningbase-cdn.com

/not a rooftop-, but meh
 
2013-05-22 05:21:49 PM  
That place is just trying WAY too hard
 
2013-05-22 05:23:09 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
Not amused / RIP
 
2013-05-22 05:25:13 PM  
reillan:

New York's hottest club is called "The Night Heron."  Located in an empty water tower in Chelsea, this club has everything: mold, tiny pianos doubling as tables, a two-man polka band suspended from the ceiling, rickety ladders, and look, is that Hugh Laurie?  No, it's a unshaved hobo brought in to drink all your brandy.

I "read" that in Stefon's voice.
 
2013-05-22 05:25:48 PM  
Lame. It's cool if that is a bar in your house. Artist in this case = trust fund kid.

I've heard of some crazy underground clubs in NYC. hot models farking on the bar and such.
 
2013-05-22 05:28:19 PM  

pe_md: reillan:

New York's hottest club is called "The Night Heron."  Located in an empty water tower in Chelsea, this club has everything: mold, tiny pianos doubling as tables, a two-man polka band suspended from the ceiling, rickety ladders, and look, is that Hugh Laurie?  No, it's a unshaved hobo brought in to drink all your brandy.

I "read" that in Stefon's voice.



....a nightclub "located in a haunted synagogue... a creation of Italian reggae singer, Rasta Primavera. This place has everything: brooms, scrunchies, screwheads, a shaved lion that looks like Mario Batali....
 
2013-05-22 05:33:22 PM  

FlashHarry: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x172]


Sybarite: This place has everything: cholos, puke people, a sheepdog that looks like Bruce Vilanch, and entire room of puppets doing karate.


Headso: Sybarite: This place has everything: cholos, puke people, a sheepdog that looks like Bruce Vilanch, and entire room of puppets doing karate.

yeah but where are the the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads?


reillan: FlashHarry: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x172]

New York's hottest club is called "The Night Heron."  Located in an empty water tower in Chelsea, this club has everything: mold, tiny pianos doubling as tables, a two-man polka band suspended from the ceiling, rickety ladders, and look, is that Hugh Laurie?  No, it's a unshaved hobo brought in to drink all your brandy.


Thanks guys
 
2013-05-22 05:34:45 PM  

calm like a bomb: I used to be into this club but now it's too mainstream.  The ones I go to now are much more obscure.


Obscure clubs are so mainstream...
 
2013-05-22 05:40:39 PM  
I had a feeling one of these toolbags would be wearing a fedora.


I was not disappointed.
 
2013-05-22 05:42:01 PM  
Hate all you want, that looks and sounds like a great time.

I wonder how they monetized it. Was buying the watches at the end of the night very expensive, or did they try to break even on the booze. So many logistical questions.
 
2013-05-22 05:42:04 PM  
Caroline and Michael Ventura, a married couple, arrived for the next seating. There were three per night, each lasting an hour and a half. Mr. Ventura said a friend had arrived at his office unannounced to give him the watch. "He placed it on to my desk, looked at me and said, 'I will answer no questions.'" On the way over, Mr. Ventura and his wife wondered where the night might lead: Someplace underground? Some sort of sex club? "But, I suppose this is nice, too," Mr. Ventura said with a sigh as he zipped closed a backpack holding three boxes of condoms, a 24" double ended dildo, and an economy-size bottle of Anal-ese.
 
2013-05-22 05:45:45 PM  
Chapter III, Atlas Shrugged.
 
2013-05-22 05:54:44 PM  

busy chillin': inside a crashing blimp


my favorite location
 
2013-05-22 06:01:02 PM  
wake me up when they book Great White.
 
2013-05-22 06:05:23 PM  

robbiex0r: Hate all you want, that looks and sounds like a great time.

I wonder how they monetized it. Was buying the watches at the end of the night very expensive, or did they try to break even on the booze. So many logistical questions.


Word.
 
2013-05-22 06:07:35 PM  
The only way to get in was to be handed a pocket watch by a prior guest (who had been instructed to offer minimal explanation), report to a street corner at a certain time, and call a number pasted inside the watch. Mysterious helpers led guests through one decrepit building into another and up 12 flights of stairs to the roof. The watches were taken at the door, but guests were given the chance to buy watches at the end of the night if they wanted to continue the chain of invitation.

Who thought this up? Blofeld? Just rent a place, get a booze licence and open the door.
 
2013-05-22 06:15:46 PM  
The Heron's architect was N.D. Austin, a 31-year-old unemployable known for what he calls "trespass theater." "It's about making the unpretentious and sufferable pretentious and unsufferable," he said of his philosophy.
 
2013-05-22 06:16:50 PM  

robbiex0r: Hate all you want, that looks and sounds like a great time.

I wonder how they monetized it. Was buying the watches at the end of the night very expensive, or did they try to break even on the booze. So many logistical questions.


Agrees.
 
2013-05-22 06:20:27 PM  
The exclusive club in my basement that im only allowed in with the music I like sometimes gets boring. Good for this hipster douche and his creative ideas. I bet they have good times.
 
2013-05-22 06:32:26 PM  
FlashHarry: upload.wikimedia.org

Well, that's all there is to say about that.
 
2013-05-22 06:45:05 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: The owners?

[665880566.r.lightningbase-cdn.com image 850x637]

/not a rooftop-, but meh


Came for an Animaniacs reference. Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-05-22 07:11:12 PM  
Sounds like a Ninja Turtles playset.
 
2013-05-22 07:20:52 PM  
These guys aren't sure it's a good idea:
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-22 07:21:50 PM  
god new york is a hell hole, the entire damned city is like living on a submarine
 
2013-05-22 07:23:01 PM  

glassbottomboatcaptain: calm like a bomb: I used to be into this club but now it's too mainstream.  The ones I go to now are much more obscure.

Obscure clubs are so mainstream...


Not this new one.  I lock myself in a gun safe and chant Hebrew psalms to myself while drinking mango/raspberry/wheatgrass/elephant dung- infused vodka.  There is no password, because it's only me.  You'd be amazed how many people want to get in.  I have "Village Voice" reporters outside my walk up in Williamsburg begging to do an article every morning when I leave for work.  It's a little embarrassing to be so popular.
 
2013-05-22 07:37:07 PM  
image.timepassagesnostalgia.com
 
2013-05-22 08:00:46 PM  
img829.imageshack.us
 
2013-05-22 08:04:13 PM  

mrswood: robbiex0r: Hate all you want, that looks and sounds like a great time.

I wonder how they monetized it. Was buying the watches at the end of the night very expensive, or did they try to break even on the booze. So many logistical questions.

Agrees.


I first saw this shed for rent on Airbnb. That would explain why it only opens on the weekend. Mon-Fri couple hundred a night I think. I tried looking for the listing briefly but you can't "search" by key words, gotta go through the whole list...
 
2013-05-22 09:23:28 PM  
If it's in a rooftop water tower, it's pretty much the opposite of "underground" amirite?
 
2013-05-22 09:33:43 PM  
New location of Amy's Baking Company.
 
2013-05-22 10:17:29 PM  
This whole article is a setup for an episode of Law & Order SVU, isn't it?
 
2013-05-22 10:20:45 PM  

Macular Degenerate: This whole article is a setup for an episode of Law & Order SVU, isn't it?


Actually, either they or Castle just did the "body found in rooftop water tower" thing.
 
2013-05-23 12:02:02 AM  

gaslight: get a booze licence


I have spotted the problem. Good luck with this part in NYC.
 
2013-05-23 04:10:23 AM  
New York's hottest new club is hhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhh.
Located in a carton of spoiled nectarines in the trash bin at the Greenmarket in Union Square, it's got everything. Molly bolts. Art gum erasers. Carpatho-Ruthenian midgets. Playing shuffleboard. With Andrea Mitchell as the puck.

Aw shiat, I can't do this.
 
2013-05-23 09:35:36 AM  

RatMaster999: [image.timepassagesnostalgia.com image 440x682]

RAGING CLUE.


/haha
 
2013-05-23 10:31:36 AM  
Mad Libs™: Stefon Yourself

New York's hottest club is [ RANDOM EXCLAMATION, PHRASE, SOUND EFFECT, GESTURE AND/OR FACIAL EXPRESSION ].

Located [ PLACE THAT IS UNLIKELY, UNSAVORY, INCONVENIENT AND/OR PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE ], it is the brainchild of...

Fark it, I can't even do THIS.
 
Displayed 68 of 68 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report