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(Local 12 Cincinnati)   Alcohol-stealing thief leaves apology note, cash for the beer ... because God told him to   (local12.com) divider line 20
    More: Followup, Villa Hills, god, Joe Webb, Highland Avenue, WAP, confessions, barcode reader, WKRC-TV  
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2129 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2013 at 10:16 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-22 10:18:11 AM
The note said to bill Big Enos Burdette.
 
2013-05-22 10:18:34 AM
That's as good an excuse as any.

Next time maybe God can tell you not steal the farking beer, asshole!
 
2013-05-22 10:22:41 AM
I was a professional hit man for exactly one day.  I killed some dude who owed this other dude money.  Afterwards, I felt terrible so a week later I left the widow an apology note taped to a replacement human.  Now I just have to figure out some way to pay back the people I stole the baby from.  Turns out, being an upstanding guy is really hard.
 
2013-05-22 10:34:14 AM
I think the "God will forgive your sins" part of the bible doesn't apply if you ignore the "Thou shalt not" part.
 
2013-05-22 10:39:03 AM

Guelph35: I think the "God will forgive your sins" part of the bible doesn't apply if you ignore the "Thou shalt not" part.


That's what's great about Catholicism! You can commit any sin you want, almost, and then go to confession, say a few Hail Mary's, coupla Our Fathers, badabing, badabang, you're all clean!
 
2013-05-22 10:43:39 AM
www.channel4.com
 
2013-05-22 11:01:40 AM

Guelph35: I think the "God will forgive your sins" part of the bible doesn't apply if you ignore the "Thou shalt not" part.


Wrong.
/Not christian
 
2013-05-22 11:11:31 AM

dittybopper: The note said to bill Big Enos Burdette.


It was supposed to, but it just said "send bill to Big Enos B". Apparently, the crook couldn't spell the last name.
 
2013-05-22 11:29:03 AM
I want to know exactly what kind of beer lets you hear directly from God.
 
2013-05-22 11:35:24 AM

Foundling: I want to know exactly what kind of beer lets you hear directly from God.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-22 11:38:15 AM

Gonz: dittybopper: The note said to bill Big Enos Burdette.

It was supposed to, but it just said "send bill to Big Enos B". Apparently, the crook couldn't spell the last name.


That's what you get for hiring a driver named 'Cletus'.
 
2013-05-22 11:45:11 AM
I think God is more of a wine drinker.
 
2013-05-22 11:52:31 AM
I grew up during a time when people hardly ever closed their garage doors let alone lock them. My buddies and I would go "garaging" every Friday night. We knew who had fridges in their garage and what they drank. We never stole anything else, just beer and hotdogs/hambugers, maybe booze if they had it but we were pretty lightweight kids so beer was plenty. Sometimes people would lock up for a time but they usually went back to keeping the doors open.

/miss the "good ole days."
 
2013-05-22 11:56:21 AM

softshoes: every Friday night.


You guys are lucky you didn't walk in and wind up staring down a shotgun-wielding homeowner in a lawnchair.
 
2013-05-22 12:03:19 PM
blogs.gazette.com

your supposed to leave money?!?!
 
2013-05-22 12:12:02 PM

awalkingecho: softshoes: every Friday night.

You guys are lucky you didn't walk in and wind up staring down a shotgun-wielding homeowner in a lawnchair.


Well we rotated our targets. Even dumb as we were we knew enough to switch marks often enough. One guy did install motion activated lights and that scared us straight for a couple weeks.
 
2013-05-22 12:31:25 PM
"When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized, the Lord doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
-Emo Phillips
 
2013-05-22 12:57:22 PM
Sound like the thief is now in a 12-step like program and getting sober.  This is what is called "making ammends" or "cleaning up your side of the street".
 
2013-05-22 01:03:20 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: That's as good an excuse as any.

Next time maybe God can tell you not steal the farking beer, asshole!


He just got  around to it.   Obviously, God has a huge backlog of work to do.

Nice story.  Victims have a great attitude.

Get the farking beer secured before some kids get into it and your asses are sued.
 
2013-05-22 01:23:21 PM
 
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