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(Salon)   From a new romance novel inspired by Michelle Bachmann: "He touched the void inside her, pollinating her pink flower like a master bee." I have the weirdest boner right now   (salon.com) divider line 146
    More: Strange, Michele Bachmann, Steadman Bass  
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6099 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2013 at 6:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-21 08:17:17 PM  

WI241TH: [i.imgur.com image 252x141]
This whole thread


You betcha Bachmann would make your Trojan shake!
 
2013-05-21 08:17:27 PM  
fc04.deviantart.net
Bachmann's pink flower in case anyone is wondering.
 
2013-05-21 08:19:07 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Sighs...ah youth. Many a time i went out with friends to a bar, and ended up balls deep in some gigantic fatty, stirring her innards with my meaty baton of love. Not bad, kinda like sticking it in a rubber boot filled with warm mayo.


moped rider
 
2013-05-21 08:22:05 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Sighs...ah youth. Many a time i went out with friends to a bar, and ended up balls deep in some gigantic fatty, stirring her innards with my meaty baton of love. Not bad, kinda like sticking it in a rubber boot filled with warm mayo.



Gee. Thanks for reminding me of those days. :-/
 
2013-05-21 08:23:45 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Not bad, kinda like sticking it in a rubber boot filled with warm mayo


Does anyone know what that feels, like besides you?
 
2013-05-21 08:25:12 PM  

WTFDYW: Bit'O'Gristle: Sighs...ah youth. Many a time i went out with friends to a bar, and ended up balls deep in some gigantic fatty, stirring her innards with my meaty baton of love. Not bad, kinda like sticking it in a rubber boot filled with warm mayo.


Gee. Thanks for reminding me of those days. :-/


Question asked. Question answered.
 
2013-05-21 08:26:06 PM  
He touched the void inside her

That gaping space between her ears?
 
2013-05-21 08:27:23 PM  
The convention floor was silent as the delegates waited for the announcement. Who would win the GOP nomination and carry the standard of freedom? Who would be charged with winning the country back from Kenyan Marxist Islamofascists?

The campaign had been long, hard, and sweaty. In the end, only two contenders remained. Sarah Palin, riding the popularity of her new memoir, "Lots of Dogs", and Michele Bachmann, whose crazy-eyed stare had so famously silenced all competitors at the Republican debates. Both women waited breathlessly, their lips parted ever so slightly as they nervously unbuttoned and rebuttoned their blouses. Which of them would come out on top?

After what felt like an eternity, a figure emerged. The decrepit, flabby Grand Marshal shuffled across the stage, his liver spots and flapping jowls shining in the hot floodlights of the stage. Picking the person who would make the announcement based on his resemblance to Strom Thurmond seemed like a good idea at the time, but the delegates soon regretted their decision as the Marshal paused once again to adjust his Depends.

Finally, the old man reached the microphone. Palin fanned herself with a copy of The Fountainhead, while Bachmann loosened her hair, her brow shining with sweat. The announcement was here.

"Ladies..and..uh...gentleman", stammered the wizened Republican. "After counting the delegates, we have a...a..confound it, my spectacles...we have...a tie."

The two women gasped, their chests heaving and knees buckling at the surprise announcement. The old man continued.

"As you all know, we have not had a tie in the nomination since Rutherford B. Hayes and Roscoe Conkling in 1876. In keeping with our historical values, we will settle the nomination exactly as they did."

The delegates, unflappable in their ignorance of history, waited with bated breath to hear how the deadlock would be resolved.

"As the nomination was decided in 1876, so shall it be decided today," the Grand Marshall intoned gravely. "In accordance with party bylaws, Governor Palin and Representative Bachmann will decide the outcome with a bikini tickle fight."

Palin and Bachmann turned on each other immediately, advancing warily, removing coats, skirts, nylons, and all other superfluous items to their dreams of conquest. As their campaign staff helped strip them down to thongs and barely concealing tops and oiled them up in preparation, Palin and Bachmann regarded each other. Though each knew the stakes, the dreams that would be fulfilled or crushed that day, both couldn't help but feel a certain pride at knowing the part they would play in writing history that day.

As the ceremonial tub of jello was brought out onto the convention floor, the two women locked in a close embrace before the proceedings began. It was time to heal America.
 
2013-05-21 08:30:17 PM  

Delay: Bit'O'Gristle: Not bad, kinda like sticking it in a rubber boot filled with warm mayo

Does anyone know what that feels, like besides you?


I would add that the boot cuff is surrounded by one of these for padding:

bharatisurgical.com
 
2013-05-21 08:30:49 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: [fc04.deviantart.net image 850x637]
Bachmann's pink flower in case anyone is wondering

oscis

My proboscis uncoils to its full length at the scent of her sweet nectar...
 
2013-05-21 08:34:13 PM  

Delay: Mentat: Rand let out a gasp as a six inch stiletto heel planted itself firmly in his privately-owned baby factory. "There's no more time for tea at this party, only S-" Rand Paul's vision went white as the rising crop smacked against his face, "-and M."

Brilliant. All your posts are favorited already, but this post was insane. What drugs were taken?


Mentats, duh.

oyster.ignimgs.com

/now with grape flavor!
 
2013-05-21 08:34:38 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: Bachmann's pink flower in case anyone is wondering.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-21 08:38:55 PM  
Paging Pocket Ninja to the thread.

Pocket Ninja to the thread please.
 
2013-05-21 08:39:50 PM  
So um, subby, just for clarification, we've established that you have a boner. Is said chubby a result of the story, or is your imagination involving Michelle's lotus flower? Or are you just watching?
 
2013-05-21 08:43:28 PM  

Honest Bender: master bee


What is the most admirable creature on God's green earth?
Why it's the bee!
Have you ever seen a bee on vacation?
Have you ever seen a bee take a sick day?
Well my friends the answer is no!
So I say "Be the bee!  BE the bee!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdKLnVoOjX0
 
2013-05-21 08:56:10 PM  
Hmmmmm, political erotica.
That's nice.
Real nice.
 
2013-05-21 09:04:37 PM  
[Okay, I admit I skipped past some of your comments]

But those that I DID read I can agree: A hotter lady would make even such crap prose more interesting; OR

That Farkers are simply better writers or something....

Subby: If the hede you wrote is seriously giving you a chubby, please contact me regarding coming to visit.

(Thailand. 10+ years now.)
 
2013-05-21 09:06:31 PM  
i28.photobucket.com
i28.photobucket.com
i28.photobucket.com

You farkers are sick and twisted and you made me laugh way too hard.
 
2013-05-21 09:10:01 PM  
Just a fancy way of saying: "Splort".
 
2013-05-21 09:14:32 PM  

cc_rider: [i28.photobucket.com image 300x282]
[i28.photobucket.com image 200x238]
[i28.photobucket.com image 250x293]

You farkers are sick and twisted and you made me laugh way too hard.


He looks like a "Spitting Image" puppet in that last pic
 
2013-05-21 09:15:22 PM  
Wow.. just.. wow.

Also, can we not send that vapid piece of filth to other countries as a representative of us, please?
 
2013-05-21 09:17:53 PM  
I...I don't even...
 
2013-05-21 09:18:56 PM  
CSB
On my second visit to this thread, I am reminded of the first anime I ever watched.  No idea what the plot was, but at some point causing a fairy, or perhaps pixie, to have an orgasm was important.  This was accomplished by using a thin mushroom to mastrbate her into a frenzy, during which time she screamed,  "Bee!  Bee!  Bee!" piercingly loud.
This was my impression of anime for many years, causing me to avoid it like the plague, which is a damn shame.

/ willing to bet someonehere instantly could instantly name whatever the hell it was I watched.
 
2013-05-21 09:33:25 PM  

Old Man Winter: / willing to bet someonehere instantly could instantly name whatever the hell it was I watched.


You said "instantly" twice. Are you too quick on the draw, so to speak?
 
2013-05-21 09:46:16 PM  
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-21 09:46:19 PM  
MIND BLEACH NEEDED!!!
 
2013-05-21 09:49:14 PM  
No prose attempt here, but realism might involve Mr. Bachmann gasping out a man's name at the moment of climax.
 
2013-05-21 09:53:21 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: No prose attempt here, but realism might involve Mr. Bachmann gasping out a man's name at the moment of climax.


"Oohhh Barack..."
 
2013-05-21 10:06:22 PM  

NateAsbestos: BolshyGreatYarblocks: No prose attempt here, but realism might involve Mr. Bachmann gasping out a man's name at the moment of climax.

"Oohhh Barack..."


A+++++++++ would LOL again.
 
2013-05-21 10:15:46 PM  

NobleHam: So someone wrote a horrible book and got free publicity for it by saying it's based on Michele Bachmann.

Yawn.


Ah, you're just jealous that you didn't think of it first.
 
2013-05-21 10:18:50 PM  
What in the gay?
 
2013-05-21 10:23:01 PM  

wambu: [i.imgur.com image 540x404]
[i.imgur.com image 297x422]
[i.imgur.com image 450x401]
[i.imgur.com image 818x600] [i.imgur.com image 569x360]
[i.imgur.com image 600x476]


Just the tip Honey.
 
2013-05-21 10:25:35 PM  

NateAsbestos: BolshyGreatYarblocks: No prose attempt here, but realism might involve Mr. Bachmann gasping out a man's name at the moment of climax.

"Oohhh Barack..."


i1282.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-21 10:27:44 PM  

wambu: [i.imgur.com image 540x404]
[i.imgur.com image 297x422]
[i.imgur.com image 450x401]
[i.imgur.com image 818x600] [i.imgur.com image 569x360]
[i.imgur.com image 600x476]



master farker - best post in thread I've ever seen
 
2013-05-21 10:44:07 PM  

Mentat: in his privately-owned baby factory


This is completely farking hilarious. The whole thing, but this phrase! Good lord. Well done.
 
2013-05-21 10:45:53 PM  
Help me, I'm strangely attracted to her
/she's a flipping idiot
//have not been laid in a LONG time
///Fark helps with this....
////meh
 
2013-05-21 10:55:06 PM  
The golden orb of the moon shone radiantly down upon the peaceful valley.  He leaned close to her and whispered into her ear, "That's no moon."

"Wait. What?"
 
2013-05-22 12:15:45 AM  
Conservative porno titles.

The Flat tax

The Trickle-down

Ronnie does DC

The little shop of whores

The Airport bathroom
 
2013-05-22 12:41:52 AM  

Old Man Winter: CSB
On my second visit to this thread, I am reminded of the first anime I ever watched.  No idea what the plot was, but at some point causing a fairy, or perhaps pixie, to have an orgasm was important.  This was accomplished by using a thin mushroom to mastrbate her into a frenzy, during which time she screamed,  "Bee!  Bee!  Bee!" piercingly loud.
This was my impression of anime for many years, causing me to avoid it like the plague, which is a damn shame.

/ willing to bet someonehere instantly could instantly name whatever the hell it was I watched.


Well, I still don't know what you watched, but I googled it using the search terms "anime fairy mushroom orgasm." Found the clip you're talking about. Probably. It's hentai. All further Googling has led to toon porn. So no more of that.

Wow. I think my first anime was technically Noozles. Yours had to be porn.

/Bad luck.
 
2013-05-22 01:16:59 AM  

Canton: Old Man Winter: CSB
On my second visit to this thread, I am reminded of the first anime I ever watched.  No idea what the plot was, but at some point causing a fairy, or perhaps pixie, to have an orgasm was important.  This was accomplished by using a thin mushroom to mastrbate her into a frenzy, during which time she screamed,  "Bee!  Bee!  Bee!" piercingly loud.
This was my impression of anime for many years, causing me to avoid it like the plague, which is a damn shame.

/ willing to bet someonehere instantly could instantly name whatever the hell it was I watched.

Well, I still don't know what you watched, but I googled it using the search terms "anime fairy mushroom orgasm." Found the clip you're talking about. Probably. It's hentai. All further Googling has led to toon porn. So no more of that.

Wow. I think my first anime was technically Noozles. Yours had to be porn.

/Bad luck.


Mine was Attack of the Overfiend.

/Never again
 
2013-05-22 01:23:38 AM  

Old Man Winter: CSB
On my second visit to this thread, I am reminded of the first anime I ever watched.  No idea what the plot was, but at some point causing a fairy, or perhaps pixie, to have an orgasm was important.  This was accomplished by using a thin mushroom to mastrbate her into a frenzy, during which time she screamed,  "Bee!  Bee!  Bee!" piercingly loud.
This was my impression of anime for many years, causing me to avoid it like the plague, which is a damn shame.

/ willing to bet someonehere instantly could instantly name whatever the hell it was I watched.


That is hysterical. The expression on the guy's face is priceless.
 
2013-05-22 02:05:56 AM  

fluffy2097: I'll buy the Book on tape if this guy reads it. I love him In 50 Shades of Grey.


Do they have 50 shades on tape with Betty White?
 
2013-05-22 02:47:04 AM  

Oldiron_79: fluffy2097: I'll buy the Book on tape if this guy reads it. I love him In 50 Shades of Grey.

Do they have 50 shades on tape with Betty White?



Yes, but it's a little different...

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-22 02:46:37 PM  
He touched the void inside her

images3.wikia.nocookie.net

"I feel so dirty."
 
2013-05-22 02:53:34 PM  
It took me about 4 posts in to realize I need to be reading this at home.

/in my bunk.
 
2013-05-22 07:29:30 PM  

FlashHarry: theorellior: FlashHarry: i don't get the "mooshelle" thing. do they think she's fat? seriously?

[www.comicsbeat.com image 500x690]

[assets4.designsponge.com image 500x681]

yeah, she's huge. 0_o


That's a man baby.
 
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