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(Salon)   From a new romance novel inspired by Michelle Bachmann: "He touched the void inside her, pollinating her pink flower like a master bee." I have the weirdest boner right now   (salon.com) divider line 146
    More: Strange, Michele Bachmann, Steadman Bass  
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6078 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2013 at 6:40 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-21 07:24:03 PM
Mentat: snip.

If you weren't already a TFer I'd sponsor you right here and now
 
2013-05-21 07:24:36 PM
Bachmann is going to Russia to investigate the Boston bombings? Bachmann has the intellect of a 2x4. Man, it's no wonder China is kicking your ass.
 
2013-05-21 07:25:24 PM

theorellior: Snarfangel: Hmm, a bipartisan romance involving Michele and Michelle. All we need is an independent Michellle for a threesome...

Would an anchor baby work?

[www.creators.com image 300x400]


Well that kills it.
 
2013-05-21 07:26:15 PM
Over the protestations of Michelle's campaign manager, Marcus opened the door and was greeted with a most unexpected sight. A sturdy man stood before him, back turned; the muscles of his shoulders rippled, his bare buttocks glistened impossibly in the dull fluorescent light of the St. Paul Civic Center office room. The young Adonis had not heard him, or had ignored him; whatever held his attention before held it still, and in turn Marcus held still. He could not stay, he knew, but neither now could he bring himself to leave.

Within minutes, the stiff focus of his gaze shifted rightward, and thus fell upon slightly disheveled woman. Their eyes met; hers widened, a task that would seem to defy the heretofore known properties of eyes, as even at rest they were the size of Brobdingnagian saucers. She hastened to her feet, and the glint of recognition became a chill that ran through Marcus' body.

"Mi...Michelle!?" he sputtered out in a quivering falsetto, "Mi...what are you doing!?"

The woman paused, stood, ran her hand through mussed hair; her partner hiked his trousers, but did not turn, as if the floral wallpaper held his attention hostage.

"Oh, it's you Marcus." She wiped the corners of her mouth pensively as she spoke. She shrugged. "Non-story, overzealous staffer."
 
2013-05-21 07:26:58 PM
I have the weirdest boner Boehner right now.

ftfy
 
2013-05-21 07:27:51 PM

FlashHarry: theorellior: FlashHarry: i don't get the "mooshelle" thing. do they think she's fat? seriously?

[www.comicsbeat.com image 500x690]

[assets4.designsponge.com image 500x681]

yeah, she's huge. 0_o


You can only see how huge she really is after you unskew the photo.
 
2013-05-21 07:28:30 PM
Mentat: 120 lbs of sex poured into a 90 lb black leather stiletto-heeled bag.


I threw up in my mouth a little.I'm imagining 30 pounds of chub bulging out around all the edges.

/you sir, have a gift for writing.
 
2013-05-21 07:29:42 PM
...I was going to say this is the sign that, as an author, you've finally snapped and lost it.

Then I read the thread.
 
2013-05-21 07:30:38 PM

Lorelle: Revek: Except she looked like she was biting it instead of sucking it down.

No, no, NO. She playfully teased the head of it with her teeth, gently caressed it with her experienced tongue, then deep-throated it like a pro.


Still not enough to red the thread.

/Subby, what happened? Were the FAIL and Asinine tags holding Sick tag's hair while it barfed its guts out when you submitted?
 
2013-05-21 07:31:26 PM

PsiChick: ...I was going to say this is the sign that, as an author, you've finally snapped and lost it.

Then I read the thread.


Farkers could fark'in write a better love story involving squirrel nuts and that black guy stealing beer in NOLA.
 
2013-05-21 07:31:50 PM

Albino Squid: Snip


Nailed it.
 
2013-05-21 07:32:10 PM

anfrind: FlashHarry: theorellior: FlashHarry: i don't get the "mooshelle" thing. do they think she's fat? seriously?

[www.comicsbeat.com image 500x690]

[assets4.designsponge.com image 500x681]

yeah, she's huge. 0_o

You can only see how huge she really is after you unskew the photo.


i45.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-21 07:34:11 PM

fluffy2097: Mentat: 120 lbs of sex poured into a 90 lb black leather stiletto-heeled bag.


I threw up in my mouth a little.I'm imagining 30 pounds of chub bulging out around all the edges.

/you sir, have a gift for writing.


I think he means the leather outfit weighs 90 lbs, what with all the spikes, zippers, and pewter chains.
 
2013-05-21 07:34:58 PM

Mentat: Rand Paul awoke to find himself bound tightly to a hard wooden chair...


Bravo! Would read again.

/  In a couple of hours
// Getting old
///Makes up for it in stamina, really.
 
2013-05-21 07:36:04 PM
FlashHarry:
yeah, she's huge. 0_o

You know that's a photoshop, right?


original:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-21 07:36:19 PM

jehovahs witness protection: You people think she's not farkable but turn around and say moochelle is hot?

/your party is confusing


Michelle is classy, and that's an attractive trait to have. Bachmann is not. I'm not calling her physically ugly, but as a person she is. And that's a turn-off.
 
2013-05-21 07:37:12 PM

Amusement: PsiChick: ...I was going to say this is the sign that, as an author, you've finally snapped and lost it.

Then I read the thread.

Farkers could fark'in write a better love story involving squirrel nuts and that black guy stealing beer in NOLA.


Yeah, I'm...scarily impressed at the writing talent of some people here.
 
2013-05-21 07:39:41 PM
Michelle tried, for what seemed like the thousandth time, to reconcile her Christian Family Values with her desire to have Mandingo's gigantic Kielbassa sink into her throbbing love opening, again, again, again, pounding, without mercy, without end. "Oh, Jesus," she screamed, "Stop! No, don't stop! Wait! Stop! No, I mean don't stop! I love you Jesus but God I love the salami too! I'm a disgusting, vile hypocrite and how that makes my pudding quiver!"

"Damn," thought Mandingo, "this here's one farked up white lady. Sure is purty though."
 
2013-05-21 07:41:05 PM
This thread?  Epic.
 
2013-05-21 07:45:55 PM

Lorelle: Revek: Except she looked like she was biting it instead of sucking it down.

No, no, NO. She playfully teased the head of it with her teeth, gently caressed it with her experienced tongue, then deep-throated it like a pro.


Sounds very good to me. I'm donating.
 
2013-05-21 07:46:49 PM

God-is-a-Taco: You know that's a photoshop, right?


original:

[i.imgur.com image 333x500]


That. Is. Awesome.
 
2013-05-21 07:46:51 PM

God-is-a-Taco: FlashHarry:
yeah, she's huge. 0_o

You know that's a photoshop, right?


original:

[i.imgur.com image 333x500]


Don't make her angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry.
 
2013-05-21 07:47:02 PM
Revek:
Except she looked like she was biting it instead of sucking it down.

With Republicans, it's the men who generally have the... ah, superior technique.*

Mambo Bananapatch:
"Damn," thought America Mandingo, "this here's one farked up white lady. Sure is purty though."

* wow, it's true, there's no hate like Liberal hate.
 
2013-05-21 07:47:03 PM
i1126.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-21 07:48:13 PM
imageshack.us
 
2013-05-21 07:49:21 PM

bim1154: Damn-it!  Why do all the good ideas get taken?  I could have wrote a fantasy novel about farking  Michelle Bachmann that could have given even the most left leaning homosexual a fu(king boner.


You could still write one about Marcus...


Clutch2013: jehovahs witness protection: You people think she's not farkable but turn around and say moochelle is hot?

/your party is confusing

I guess I'm left leaning. I'd do her...


My penis actually leans slightly to the right.
 
2013-05-21 07:49:47 PM
I hate to be a spoiler, but I just have to talk about the happy ending.
Marcus is actually the straight one, and Michelle is a lesbian!
I never saw that cumming... I mean coming.
 
2013-05-21 07:50:12 PM

FlashHarry: anfrind: FlashHarry: theorellior: FlashHarry: i don't get the "mooshelle" thing. do they think she's fat? seriously?

[www.comicsbeat.com image 500x690]

[assets4.designsponge.com image 500x681]

yeah, she's huge. 0_o

You can only see how huge she really is after you unskew the photo.

[i45.tinypic.com image 400x300]


That's the best thing I ever saw.

www.charlock.org
 
2013-05-21 07:50:14 PM

Speaker2Animals: jehovahs witness protection: You people think she's not farkable but turn around and say moochelle is hot?
/your party is confusing

Gee, maybe because Bachmann is a batshiat insane harpy and Michelle is a woman as intelligent as she is attractive.


I'd not only gladly bang Michelle Obama, but I'd also hate-fark Michelle Bachmann.  I think Michelle Obama is quite attractive of course, but Bachmann's certainly bad looking either, even though she's nuttier than squirrel shiat.  And my dick is bipartisan, even if the rest of me isn't.  You just know that old homo Marcus isn't giving her the deep dicking she craves, and as cray-cray as she is, it could be a wild ride.

Though when it comes to hate-farking right-wingers, I think I'd have to draw the line at Sarah Palin.  Though she's physically attractive, to me she's so personally repulsive as a human being that I don't think I could enjoy it.
 
2013-05-21 07:51:07 PM
i44.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-21 07:51:54 PM

PsiChick: Amusement: PsiChick: ...I was going to say this is the sign that, as an author, you've finally snapped and lost it.

Then I read the thread.

Farkers could fark'in write a better love story involving squirrel nuts and that black guy stealing beer in NOLA.

Yeah, I'm...scarily impressed at the writing talent of some people here.


Yup. Me too.
 
2013-05-21 07:52:49 PM
Sarah squinted and smirked as she took off those faux soccer mom glasses and transformed into a she-tigress of lust.  She crawled across the floor towards me, sticking her derriere high in the air as she made her way between my legs.

"I like Alaskan King Crab Legs," she murmured, unzipping my fly.  "I like to lick the butter off them. Is that what you like?"

There were giant ross perot sucking sounds as things became too obscene for any more words. No, just animalistic grunts and cries of pleasure.
 
2013-05-21 07:53:36 PM

Mentat: This thread?  Epic.


oh, you :)

That was pretty good.
 
2013-05-21 07:54:01 PM
So someone wrote a horrible book and got free publicity for it by saying it's based on Michele Bachmann.

Yawn.
 
2013-05-21 07:54:15 PM

anfrind: You can only see how huge she really is after you unskew the photo.


Exactly, lib-u-lardos.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-21 07:55:14 PM

God-is-a-Taco: FlashHarry:
yeah, she's huge. 0_o

You know that's a photoshop, right?


original:

[i.imgur.com image 333x500]


Obama doesn't tap that, he taps out.
 
2013-05-21 07:55:48 PM

Omahawg: Sarah squinted and smirked as she took off those faux soccer mom glasses and transformed into a she-tigress of lust.  She crawled across the floor towards me, sticking her derriere high in the air as she made her way between my legs.

"I like Alaskan King Crab Legs," she murmured, unzipping my fly.  "I like to lick the butter off them. Is that what you like?"

There were giant ross perot sucking sounds as things became too obscene for any more words. No, just animalistic grunts and cries of pleasure.


woops. duh. sarah palin, michele bachmann, whatever

I can just change it to lutefisk lust, I suppose
 
2013-05-21 07:56:35 PM

Honest Bender: Wtf is a master bee?


www.albundy.net
 
2013-05-21 07:57:12 PM

theorellior: anfrind: You can only see how huge she really is after you unskew the photo.

Exactly, lib-u-lardos.

[i.imgur.com image 700x681]


Fox News would be proud.
 
2013-05-21 07:57:28 PM

Mentat: Rand Paul awoke to find himself bound tightly to a hard wooden chair.  The room was empty except for a glaring incandescent light bulb and something in the corner that looked disturbingly like chains.  The bare concrete walls reflected sound and light back on him, resulting in a senses-destroying cacophony.  Through the blinding light, he could make out the frame of a large steel door.

My god, he thought to himself, Obama has finally done it.  He's rounding up his enemies.  The Tea Party rally had all been a ruse to draw out the Kenyan usurper's enemies.  From somewhere beyond the rusted steel door, Rand heard the click-clack of FEMA jackboots against the concrete floor, coming closer and closer.  Rand struggled to free himself from the bindings, but whoever had tied him to this chair knew what they were doing.  The clinking of tumblers falling into place echoed in the stale air.  With a screech of rusted metal against metal, the door opened slowly inward.  Through clenched eyes, Rand could just barely make out a human form standing in the doorway.

From somewhere deep inside his soul, a primal scream of rage erupted.  "You bastards!" he screamed.  "You'll never get away with this!  We're Americans and we will never surrend-"

"Oh Rand, do shut up."

The sultry female voice stunned Rand into a momentary silence as the outline of a svelte female form emerged into the light.  Michelle Bachman was 120 lbs of sex poured into a 90 lb black leather stiletto-heeled bag.  Rand gasped as she slowly walked towards him, her hips rhythmically swaying like the foam-flecked waves of the ocean crashing against the beach.  Her lips were painted the shade of deep red that was only possible from dyes that had long since been banned by government regulators.  Her perfume reeked of sex and liberty and something dangerous... freedom.  From behind her came the soft sound of rawhide gently slapping against exposed flesh.  His senses overwhelmed, Rand felt the stirring in his loins that h ...


lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-05-21 08:00:05 PM

Mentat: Rand let out a gasp as a six inch stiletto heel planted itself firmly in his privately-owned baby factory. "There's no more time for tea at this party, only S-" Rand Paul's vision went white as the rising crop smacked against his face, "-and M."


Brilliant. All your posts are favorited already, but this post was insane. What drugs were taken?
 
2013-05-21 08:01:05 PM
Needs more Palin.
 
2013-05-21 08:02:41 PM

Old Man Winter: Needs more Palin.


Bachmann-Palin-Obamadrive.
 
2013-05-21 08:02:55 PM

Delay: Mentat: Rand let out a gasp as a six inch stiletto heel planted itself firmly in his privately-owned baby factory. "There's no more time for tea at this party, only S-" Rand Paul's vision went white as the rising crop smacked against his face, "-and M."

Brilliant. All your posts are favorited already, but this post was insane. What drugs were taken?


Mad Men ass vitamins.
 
2013-05-21 08:04:57 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-21 08:05:34 PM

Mentat: Delay: Mentat: Rand let out a gasp as a six inch stiletto heel planted itself firmly in his privately-owned baby factory. "There's no more time for tea at this party, only S-" Rand Paul's vision went white as the rising crop smacked against his face, "-and M."

Brilliant. All your posts are favorited already, but this post was insane. What drugs were taken?

Mad Men ass vitamins.


"The super suppository shaped like a sausage"? I will have to try them.
 
2013-05-21 08:07:11 PM
"Oh, Marcus would never do this.  Oh. Oh, yes."

The woman sighed and twisted underneath the expert ministrations of my nimble fingers as they explored the secret areas between her thighs.

"Mmm. You like it," I whispered in her area as my thumb made round circular motions in Michelle's most sensitive place. " You like it more than pegging him every night with that strap-on."

The woman gave a sharp, short laugh and then bit down on her lip.

"Are you ready, Michelle? Are you ready to let me violate you the way you violated your husband all those years?  On your knees?"

"Oh yes," she gasped and grabbed my stiffness with fumbling exuberance.  "Fill me up at the pump, baby, and make it hurt like slashing aid for poor blind kids with leukemia. Oh yeah."
 
2013-05-21 08:08:03 PM

minnkat: [i.imgur.com image 400x352]


You are NOT helping.
 
2013-05-21 08:09:11 PM

Mentat: Delay: Mentat: Rand let out a gasp as a six inch stiletto heel planted itself firmly in his privately-owned baby factory. "There's no more time for tea at this party, only S-" Rand Paul's vision went white as the rising crop smacked against his face, "-and M."

Brilliant. All your posts are favorited already, but this post was insane. What drugs were taken?

Mad Men ass vitamins.


That's the mixture? I'll check on Amazon right now.
 
2013-05-21 08:13:37 PM
i.imgur.com
This whole thread
 
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