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(Salon)   From a new romance novel inspired by Michelle Bachmann: "He touched the void inside her, pollinating her pink flower like a master bee." I have the weirdest boner right now   (salon.com) divider line 146
    More: Strange, Michele Bachmann, Steadman Bass  
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6085 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2013 at 6:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-21 05:13:12 PM
www.myconfinedspace.com
 
2013-05-21 05:28:34 PM
and takes a bite out of it like a giant corn dog.
 
2013-05-21 05:34:52 PM
Lame. I can do better than that.

Revek: and takes a bite out of it like a giant corn dog.


Try as she might, Michelle just couldn't get Steadman out of her mind. She thought of what his throbbing manhood must look like as she aggressively sucked down a huge corn dog for dinner that night...
 
2013-05-21 05:39:29 PM

Lorelle: Try as she might, Michelle just couldn't get Steadman out of her mind. She thought of what his throbbing manhood must look like as she aggressively sucked down a huge corn dog for dinner that night...


luck was on her side. marcus was at the gym again. it's funny, she thought - he goes to the gym for hours a day yet he remains chubby and weak-limbed. what could he be doing there all this time? no matter; he was gone, and she was alone with steadman and his christ-like chiseled body.
 
2013-05-21 05:46:06 PM
Wtf is a master bee?
 
2013-05-21 05:56:59 PM
GREEN?!?

oh, no...
 
2013-05-21 05:58:16 PM

Lorelle: Lame. I can do better than that.

Revek: and takes a bite out of it like a giant corn dog.

Try as she might, Michelle just couldn't get Steadman out of her mind. She thought of what his throbbing manhood must look like as she aggressively sucked down a huge corn dog for dinner that night...


I have never been so turned off in my life.
 
2013-05-21 06:00:41 PM
static4.businessinsider.com
 
2013-05-21 06:02:19 PM
blackice4life.com

Say what now?
 
2013-05-21 06:06:30 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-21 06:09:56 PM

Lorelle: Lame. I can do better than that.

Revek: and takes a bite out of it like a giant corn dog.

Try as she might, Michelle just couldn't get Steadman out of her mind. She thought of what his throbbing manhood must look like as she aggressively sucked down a huge corn dog for dinner that night...


Except she looked like she was biting it instead of sucking it down.
 
2013-05-21 06:18:16 PM

Honest Bender: Wtf is a master bee?


It's what Michele is forced to do after yet another frustrating night of Marcus trying and failing to put it in her "icky place"
 
2013-05-21 06:21:20 PM

Revek: Except she looked like she was biting it instead of sucking it down.


No, no, NO. She playfully teased the head of it with her teeth, gently caressed it with her experienced tongue, then deep-throated it like a pro.
 
2013-05-21 06:22:16 PM

Lorelle: Revek: Except she looked like she was biting it instead of sucking it down.

No, no, NO. She playfully teased the head of it with her teeth, gently caressed it with her experienced tongue, then deep-throated it like a pro.


Okay okay now I'm interested.
 
2013-05-21 06:45:02 PM
He took his bulging Fifth Amendment and gently slid it into Michele's Bill of Rights...
 
2013-05-21 06:46:06 PM
Damn-it!  Why do all the good ideas get taken?  I could have wrote a fantasy novel about farking  Michelle Bachmann that could have given even the most left leaning homosexual a fu(king boner.
 
2013-05-21 06:46:28 PM

Lorelle: Revek: Except she looked like she was biting it instead of sucking it down.

No, no, NO. She playfully teased the head of it with her teeth, gently caressed it with her experienced tongue, then deep-throated it like a pro.


27.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-21 06:46:43 PM
I assume we're talking honeybees, in which the pollinators are female bees.

Just got hotter, didn't it?
 
2013-05-21 06:46:52 PM
What's Monica doing on the cover?
 
2013-05-21 06:48:33 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-21 06:50:40 PM
Marcus looked at Michelle's naked body, his mountain standing tall, a throbbing monument to his desire. "Babe, crushing the dreams of those socialist union workers has given me such an urge for you."

Michelle felt the heat grow between her legs and she parted them. "Take me, Marcus, take me in the biblical way!"

Marcus approached her, his flagstaff moving in rhythm. "You will speak when I tell you to," he said, bringing the whip down upon her hard, eliciting an aroused whimper from Michelle.
 
2013-05-21 06:50:43 PM

Honest Bender: Wtf is a master bee?


It's a bee who's licensed and certified. Before that he was a journeyman bee, and before that an apprentice bee. The whole Bee Union, very organized, as one might expect.


exick: Honest Bender: Wtf is a master bee?

It's what Michele is forced to do after yet another frustrating night of Marcus trying and failing to put it in her "icky place"


Now THIS is a funny, way more than mine, and I did laugh openly and without reservation at this.
 
2013-05-21 06:51:16 PM
Michelle looked down at his turgid member, "I want you inside me." she softly moaned. "I want you inside me now!" She grabbed at his shirt. He pulls back, making her urges even stronger. "I WANT YOU!", she screamed. "GIVE ME IT NOW!" She lunged at him for a passionate embrace. He pulls away yet again, "Mrs. Bachmann, I won't tell you again!", he pleads, "You have to pay the kid at the other window before I can give you another corndog!"
 
2013-05-21 06:51:51 PM
Are we certain it wasn't ghostwritten by the Master of Sinanju?
 
2013-05-21 06:54:41 PM
You people think she's not farkable but turn around and say moochelle is hot?

/your party is confusing
 
2013-05-21 06:55:40 PM

skinink: He took his bulging Fifth Amendment and gently slid it into Michele's Bill of Rights...


She quivered. Try as she did to resist, she gave way to his habeus corpus...her elastic clause shuddering with delight...
 
2013-05-21 06:56:30 PM
Wisps of white steam wafted off of Steadman's member, a hot corn dog in the middle of the frozen wilderness. It did not belong there. She, the prim and proper Ms. Powers, did not belong there either. And yet, there she was.

Just as he was ready to descend upon her sweet, tender flower, to warm her shivering body from within, he noticed it.

She had sharp knees.

His manhood sagged a little at the realization. He stood and he reclothed himself, even as she gasped in anticipation. "I'm sorry, Ms. Powers," he said, his voice deep and throaty. "This will have to... wait." And then he walked away.
 
2013-05-21 06:57:10 PM
i.imgbox.com
 
2013-05-21 06:57:47 PM

jehovahs witness protection: You people think she's not farkable but turn around and say moochelle is hot?


Hmm, a bipartisan romance involving Michele and Michelle. All we need is an independent Michellle for a threesome...
 
2013-05-21 06:58:06 PM

jehovahs witness protection: You people think she's not farkable but turn around and say moochelle is hot?

/your party is confusing


Daww you're adorable.
 
2013-05-21 06:58:37 PM

jehovahs witness protection: You people think she's not farkable but turn around and say moochelle is hot?

/your party is confusing


Gee, maybe because Bachmann is a batshiat insane harpy and Michelle is a woman as intelligent as she is attractive.
 
2013-05-21 07:02:09 PM

Speaker2Animals: [i.imgbox.com image 512x384]


Thats a gol' dam' winnar rite tharr' lemmetellyou

/Tips hat @ Chrmeee
 
2013-05-21 07:04:53 PM

KangTheMad: Marcus looked at Michelle's naked body, his mountain standing tall, a throbbing monument to his desire. "Babe, crushing the dreams of those socialist union workers has given me such an urge for you."

Michelle felt the heat grow between her legs and she parted them. "Take me, Marcus, take me in the biblical way!"

Marcus approached her, his flagstaff moving in rhythm. "You will speak when I tell you to," he said, bringing the whip down upon her hard, eliciting an aroused whimper from Michelle.


lawlz

/fap
 
2013-05-21 07:05:50 PM

jehovahs witness protection: You people think she's not farkable but turn around and say moochelle is hot?

/your party is confusing


I guess I'm left leaning. I'd do her...

...provided, of course, every possible precaution was taken to preserve my being and my sanity.

/same for Palin
//difference between the two: Palin's farking stupid, while Bachmann's farking crazy
 
2013-05-21 07:07:40 PM
I'll buy the Book on tape if this guy reads it. I love him In 50 Shades of Grey.
bakanekonoyuutsu.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-21 07:10:15 PM
Um... male bees are rarely pollinators.
A "master bee" pollinator would be a female.
 
2013-05-21 07:11:51 PM

Snarfangel: Hmm, a bipartisan romance involving Michele and Michelle. All we need is an independent Michellle for a threesome...


Would an anchor baby work?

www.creators.com
 
2013-05-21 07:12:16 PM

Tenorman's Tears: Um... male bees are rarely pollinators.
A "master bee" pollinator would be a female.


static.comicvine.com
 
2013-05-21 07:12:19 PM

Speaker2Animals: You people think she's not farkable but turn around and say moochelle is hot?

/your party is confusing


i don't get the "mooshelle" thing. do they think she's fat? seriously?
 
2013-05-21 07:12:41 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-21 07:14:00 PM
Enlarging the picture just makes it smaller.
 
2013-05-21 07:14:02 PM

FlashHarry: i don't get the "mooshelle" thing. do they think she's fat? seriously?


www.comicsbeat.com
 
2013-05-21 07:15:26 PM
Is that like thrusting your purple headed monster into her quivering mound of love pudding?


/dare I ask?
//obscure??
 
2013-05-21 07:16:27 PM
I wish I could vote for this thread more than once.
 
2013-05-21 07:17:32 PM
Sighs...ah youth. Many a time i went out with friends to a bar, and ended up balls deep in some gigantic fatty, stirring her innards with my meaty baton of love. Not bad, kinda like sticking it in a rubber boot filled with warm mayo.
 
2013-05-21 07:20:19 PM

theorellior: FlashHarry: i don't get the "mooshelle" thing. do they think she's fat? seriously?

[www.comicsbeat.com image 500x690]


assets4.designsponge.com

yeah, she's huge. 0_o
 
2013-05-21 07:20:27 PM

theorellior: FlashHarry: i don't get the "mooshelle" thing. do they think she's fat? seriously?

[www.comicsbeat.com image 500x690]


"Oops, I forgot to tell a joke!"
 
2013-05-21 07:20:36 PM
You know, Republicans, condoms really would be easier.
 
2013-05-21 07:21:22 PM
Rand Paul awoke to find himself bound tightly to a hard wooden chair.  The room was empty except for a glaring incandescent light bulb and something in the corner that looked disturbingly like chains.  The bare concrete walls reflected sound and light back on him, resulting in a senses-destroying cacophony.  Through the blinding light, he could make out the frame of a large steel door.

My god, he thought to himself, Obama has finally done it.  He's rounding up his enemies.  The Tea Party rally had all been a ruse to draw out the Kenyan usurper's enemies.  From somewhere beyond the rusted steel door, Rand heard the click-clack of FEMA jackboots against the concrete floor, coming closer and closer.  Rand struggled to free himself from the bindings, but whoever had tied him to this chair knew what they were doing.  The clinking of tumblers falling into place echoed in the stale air.  With a screech of rusted metal against metal, the door opened slowly inward.  Through clenched eyes, Rand could just barely make out a human form standing in the doorway.

From somewhere deep inside his soul, a primal scream of rage erupted.  "You bastards!" he screamed.  "You'll never get away with this!  We're Americans and we will never surrend-"

"Oh Rand, do shut up."

The sultry female voice stunned Rand into a momentary silence as the outline of a svelte female form emerged into the light.  Michelle Bachman was 120 lbs of sex poured into a 90 lb black leather stiletto-heeled bag.  Rand gasped as she slowly walked towards him, her hips rhythmically swaying like the foam-flecked waves of the ocean crashing against the beach.  Her lips were painted the shade of deep red that was only possible from dyes that had long since been banned by government regulators.  Her perfume reeked of sex and liberty and something dangerous... freedom.  From behind her came the soft sound of rawhide gently slapping against exposed flesh.  His senses overwhelmed, Rand felt the stirring in his loins that he had only ever felt while reading The Fountainhead.

"M-Michelle?  What's going on?  I thought Obama had launched his coup?"

"He has,"  Bachman's sultry lips pursed in disdain.  "Fox News is gone.  His gay legions have seized control of the military.  Even now his IRS goon squad is fanning out across the country, auditing anyone who tries to stand up to him."

Rand couldn't believe it.  How had Obama managed to strike so suddenly?  "Michelle, we have to do something!  Call the NRA!  It's time for second-amendment solutions!"

"Oh Rand, do you think the Kenyan didn't anticipate that?  Al Qeida destroyed NRA headquarters two hours ago."  Bachman slithered into a nearby chair and casually flicked a speck of dust from her leather thigh-highs with her riding crop.  "Wayne LaPierre was a firebrand, but never a leader.  Our training sessions together were... intense, but he always came up... short."

"We have to do something Michelle!  Untie me and we'll rally the Tea Party and-"

Bachman let out a decisive snort that sent shockwaves through Rand's baking loins.  "The Tea Party is full of children.  They're nothing on their own.  They need a leader, a warrior-prince.  I thought your father could be that man, but he's too... soft."  Bachman's lips curled into a devious smile.  Her eyes bore into Rand's soul like a missile-defense system's laser beams.  The sweat was pouring down his back now as his manhood pressed painfully against the zipper of his pants.  "What do you say Rand?"  Bachman purred.  "Are you more of a man than your father?"

Rand's vision had gone red with desire.  The taunts from the objectivist vixen punctured his defenses as if they were even their.  Driven by rage and lust, Rand Paul screamed out, "Yes!  Yes, I will be your warrior!  Tell me what I need to do!"

"Well, my little John Galt," Bachman said as she slinked out of her chair.  "Before you can lead our armies, you have to be trained."  Rand let out a gasp as a six inch stiletto heel planted itself firmly in his privately-owned baby factory.  "There's no more time for tea at this party, only S-" Rand Paul's vision went white as the rising crop smacked against his face, "-and M."
 
2013-05-21 07:21:57 PM

FlashHarry: theorellior: FlashHarry: i don't get the "mooshelle" thing. do they think she's fat? seriously?

[www.comicsbeat.com image 500x690]

[assets4.designsponge.com image 500x681]

yeah, she's huge. 0_o


Daaammmnnn, Barry's got a fine lady.

//sorry Barry
 
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