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(Yahoo)   Is Pope Francis a wizard?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 48
    More: Strange, Pope Francis, pope  
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14014 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2013 at 10:31 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-05-21 11:19:22 AM
4 votes:
Everyone keeps saying, "oh, he's so humble" and "he cares about social justice" and "he's such a great pope." Whatever. He's just another kiddie-diddler enabler with an invisible friend.
2013-05-21 10:02:33 AM
4 votes:
Wait, he's multi-classed?
2013-05-21 02:07:08 PM
2 votes:

RexTalionis: Technically, wouldn't he be a cleric as opposed to a wizard?


Yeah, he'd be a high-level Cleric.

I think they implied in some AD&D 2e sources that the Catholic Pope and the Patriarch of Constantinople would usually be equivalent somewhere around a 13th to 15th level Cleric (The Castle Guide, and some of the Historic Reference series), which generally fit with how powerful and rare characters of those levels were supposed to be in 1e and 2e AD&D (15th level druid was the leader of all the Druids in the world, the leader of all Assassins was 15th level, and Monks had a single 17th level Monk as the highest level one in the world).

In any case, if he's high enough to do an exorcism, he's got to be at least 9th level, since Dispel Evil (the spell that is the equivalent of an Exorcism, since it can force out possessing spirits and banish demons & devils) is a 5th level spell and from 1st through 3.5 editions that comes at 9th level.   Then again, 9th level was usually the threshold for being a Bishop (according to those same above-mentioned sources).
2013-05-21 11:37:21 AM
2 votes:

Farking Canuck: UsikFark: I'm not sure why, but for whatever reason, I imagine the sound coming out of that guy's mouth to be the same thing you hear when a TIE fighter flies by.

Is this the appropriate time to start arguing about how you can't hear them fly by in space?

The pilots are making motor and laser noises over the radio. "Zeeeerooooom pew pew pew BROOOOSH."

I was thinking their on-board computers were making the noises to give them some audio feedback as to their surroundings. But the pilots doing it themselves works too.


One of the little details I liked in the Mass Effect universe is that they openly talked about how they had audio emulators for space travel for people watching, because people just instinctively expect sound. They just had computers produce the same sounds for space flight that they would have for atmospheric flights so that people would be more comfortable with it, i.e. for exactly the reason that space flight in computer games and movies so often has sound effects. There's a few scenes where one character or the other talks about turning off the audio emulators to watch ships glide by silently.

I enjoyed that little bit of lampshading.
2013-05-21 11:33:34 AM
2 votes:
i42.tinypic.com
2013-05-21 11:25:55 AM
2 votes:
As with all Cathlolics... they exist in a state of self dilusion that what they are doing is what God wants them to... they couldn't be more wrong.
2013-05-21 11:03:48 AM
2 votes:
What a naughty devil may look like.

ecx.images-amazon.com

hot like the hellfires of damnation or something
2013-05-21 10:57:00 AM
2 votes:

Do the needful: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [l2.yimg.com image 630x435]

I'm not sure why, but for whatever reason, I imagine the sound coming out of that guy's mouth to be the same thing you hear when a TIE fighter flies by.

Is this the appropriate time to start arguing about how you can't hear them fly by in space?


The pilots are making motor and laser noises over the radio. "Zeeeerooooom pew pew pew BROOOOSH."

Now, as far as the pope doing miracles, that is part of becoming a real saint on the church. I would not be surprised if he encounters many religious Italians during the day who quite frankly are delusional and waiting for someone to enable their belief.
2013-05-21 10:50:57 AM
2 votes:

Sybarite: Wait, he's multi-classed?


i252.photobucket.com
2013-05-21 10:44:18 AM
2 votes:
Only a fool refuses to have a lvl 90 priest cast on him before raiding.
2013-05-21 10:43:44 AM
2 votes:
Nope, he is a pedo like the rest of them.

i.imgur.com
2013-05-21 10:42:14 AM
2 votes:
If you were a demon and wanted to possess someone, why would you do it anywhere near a place that your immortal enemy hangs out? Wouldn't it be better to possess someone in Asia?
2013-05-21 10:38:35 AM
2 votes:
Technically, wouldn't he be a cleric as opposed to a wizard?
2013-05-21 10:37:32 AM
2 votes:
Well, he does have a robe and hat...
2013-05-21 10:34:40 AM
2 votes:
Perhaps not, but he has a sky wizard in his party that is rumored to have god like powers.
2013-05-21 05:37:57 PM
1 votes:

PunGent: Magorn: dwrash: Head_Shot: dwrash: As with all Cathlolics... they exist in a state of self dilusion that what they are doing is what God wants them to... they couldn't be more wrong.

THIS....BUT APPLIES TO ALL RELIGIONS

Pretty much.. but the RCC is at the apex of totally made up shiat.

Please, son you ever taken a course in comparative religion?  Scientology has that prize locked the fark down, followed by Mormonsim (since DNA kinda disproves its central thesis) , then we have any number of cargo Cults, the Cult of St. Narco,   followed by Druid and Wicca" (love you guys but ain;t a damn thing historical about either one),  Then you got to get by LaVey's Church of Satan, and Free Masonry before you get into a three way tie between Hindusm/Buddhism/and Catholicism

Minor point:  the Pacific cargo cults were worshiping actual tangible beings; of all the religions on your list, theirs had the best chance of getting what they prayed for...and actually succeeded, in some cases, albeit by accident rather than prayer.


Isn't that how most current religions formed, though, by people worshiping some elemental force or other until their simple faith is co-opted by a ruler with an agenda? Praying to the sun, ocean, thunder, or river gods is no sillier than the cargo cults. It's the combination of time and accumulated dogma that makes modern religions sound so wacky.
2013-05-21 05:33:11 PM
1 votes:

PunGent: Magorn: dwrash: Head_Shot: dwrash: As with all Cathlolics... they exist in a state of self dilusion that what they are doing is what God wants them to... they couldn't be more wrong.

THIS....BUT APPLIES TO ALL RELIGIONS

Pretty much.. but the RCC is at the apex of totally made up shiat.

Please, son you ever taken a course in comparative religion?  Scientology has that prize locked the fark down, followed by Mormonsim (since DNA kinda disproves its central thesis) , then we have any number of cargo Cults, the Cult of St. Narco,   followed by Druid and Wicca" (love you guys but ain;t a damn thing historical about either one),  Then you got to get by LaVey's Church of Satan, and Free Masonry before you get into a three way tie between Hindusm/Buddhism/and Catholicism

Minor point:  the Pacific cargo cults were worshiping actual tangible beings; of all the religions on your list, theirs had the best chance of getting what they prayed for...and actually succeeded, in some cases, albeit by accident rather than prayer.


Hey, you know what's better than cargo cults? Ancestor worship.

At least you know the people you worship are real and are directly responsible for your birth.
2013-05-21 04:25:12 PM
1 votes:

Silverstaff: In any case, if he's high enough to do an exorcism, he's got to be at least 9th level, since Dispel Evil (the spell that is the equivalent of an Exorcism, since it can force out possessing spirits and banish demons & devils) is a 5th level spell and from 1st through 3.5 editions that comes at 9th level. Then again, 9th level was usually the threshold for being a Bishop (according to those same above-mentioned sources).


Catholic exorcism generally requires approval by a bishop, so that's more or less consistent.
2013-05-21 03:34:54 PM
1 votes:

1derful: Only a fool refuses to have a lvl 90 priest cast on him before raiding.


Now THAT is how you do it.  I got a better picture in my head than the ones on the screen.
2013-05-21 02:35:49 PM
1 votes:

Magorn: TheBigJerk: Magorn: dwrash: Head_Shot: dwrash: As with all Cathlolics... they exist in a state of self dilusion that what they are doing is what God wants them to... they couldn't be more wrong.

THIS....BUT APPLIES TO ALL RELIGIONS

Pretty much.. but the RCC is at the apex of totally made up shiat.

Please, son you ever taken a course in comparative religion?  Scientology has that prize locked the fark down, followed by Mormonsim (since DNA kinda disproves its central thesis) , then we have any number of cargo Cults, the Cult of St. Narco,   followed by Druid and Wicca" (love you guys but ain;t a damn thing historical about either one),  Then you got to get by LaVey's Church of Satan, and Free Masonry before you get into a three way tie between Hindusm/Buddhism/and Catholicism

It's as historical as Catholicism.  Just because the RCC's made-up stuff is OLD and was written-down for longer doesn't make it any less made up or any more historical than the made-up stuff now or any better than the stuff that had to be pieced back together from what the RCC hadn't burned and purged.

Made up, is arguable, but Historical?  By simple virtue of the fact that they've been in operation for 2000 years, they do get to claim their traditions are, by defintion, historical.   And as people have pointed out, early catholicism was a great preserver of ancient pagan traditions that stretch back millenia before that)  Modern WIcca and druidism stretch back only to the beginning of the 20th century when some folks with a heavily romanticized view of history tried to 're-create" the ancient religions according to their modern sensibilites.  Catholicism, while is certainly revises itself, does maintain ancient beliefs that would have seemed perfectly rational to a citizen of the roman empire circa 100 ad or so, but rather wig us out today (transubstantiation for one)


To be fair, transubtstantiation wigged out the Romans too. Hence the feeding of members of the cannibal cult to lions.
2013-05-21 02:26:12 PM
1 votes:
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
- Hamlet (1.5.166-7)
2013-05-21 02:14:34 PM
1 votes:

TheBigJerk: Magorn: dwrash: Head_Shot: dwrash: As with all Cathlolics... they exist in a state of self dilusion that what they are doing is what God wants them to... they couldn't be more wrong.

THIS....BUT APPLIES TO ALL RELIGIONS

Pretty much.. but the RCC is at the apex of totally made up shiat.

Please, son you ever taken a course in comparative religion?  Scientology has that prize locked the fark down, followed by Mormonsim (since DNA kinda disproves its central thesis) , then we have any number of cargo Cults, the Cult of St. Narco,   followed by Druid and Wicca" (love you guys but ain;t a damn thing historical about either one),  Then you got to get by LaVey's Church of Satan, and Free Masonry before you get into a three way tie between Hindusm/Buddhism/and Catholicism

It's as historical as Catholicism.  Just because the RCC's made-up stuff is OLD and was written-down for longer doesn't make it any less made up or any more historical than the made-up stuff now or any better than the stuff that had to be pieced back together from what the RCC hadn't burned and purged.


Made up, is arguable, but Historical?  By simple virtue of the fact that they've been in operation for 2000 years, they do get to claim their traditions are, by defintion, historical.   And as people have pointed out, early catholicism was a great preserver of ancient pagan traditions that stretch back millenia before that)  Modern WIcca and druidism stretch back only to the beginning of the 20th century when some folks with a heavily romanticized view of history tried to 're-create" the ancient religions according to their modern sensibilites.  Catholicism, while is certainly revises itself, does maintain ancient beliefs that would have seemed perfectly rational to a citizen of the roman empire circa 100 ad or so, but rather wig us out today (transubstantiation for one)
2013-05-21 01:41:41 PM
1 votes:

TheBigJerk: SordidEuphemism: dwrash: Lets see, RCC has pretty much integrated every native religion it possibly could as it spread... hence it has many sects of made up shiat, and the every present cult of Mary (which was based on Artimis that was granted perpetual virginity after she gave birth.. sound familiar?)  Then you have all the praying to the saints and such (which is just a continuation of the Roman Pantheon of Gods.. just the names of changed).. then you have the fact that they seem to think that when you go to heaven you aren't human anymore and you become part of the devine.. (I guess its how Mary does her multitasking at the speed of the fastest computer in the world now).. etc.  Then you have the black, brown, white, arian, etc Mary's and baby Jesus (I guess it depends on whereever you are born).. then you have transubstiation in which they crucify Jesus again and cannibalize him...etc.   The RCC is WAY out there.

Read the catechism? Nah. I'll just base my understanding of Catholicism on the fringe elements I've read about online.

Dude, none of that is fringe, it's just the official church answer to questions most believers try to never ask.

I'm not going to claim it's worse than scientology, but the symbolic cannibalism is mainstream dogma, it just seems mean because I'm using a word you don't like to describe it.


I'm not denying transubstantiation is a teaching, so my apologies if it seems so. I was not addressing that item specifically, but instead referring to many of the other items which are vanities embraced by sects or splinters. When someone says 'RCC' they should really limit themselves to the official doctrine.

Multi-ethnic Jebus: Not an official teaching. Saints are gods: Not an official teaching - they are intermediaries and speak to the head honcho on the faithful's behalf. Any miracles a saint works is through the divine power granted from god. Splitting hairs? Perhaps, but the church is rather rabid about this. Cult of Mary: Mary is recognized as the mother of god in the Catholic church, but is otherwise a super-saint. Becoming divine upon entering heaven is also not taught, indeed, the faithful are told their bodies will be given back to them, perfected, at the end of the world.

And so on, and so forth. Me, I don't put any weight to any of this, but it doesn't really help one's argument to cover it in inaccuracies. This is why you won't see me discussing the fallacies of Buddhism -- I'm not knowledgable.
2013-05-21 01:12:21 PM
1 votes:

dwrash: Lets see, RCC has pretty much integrated every native religion it possibly could as it spread... hence it has many sects of made up shiat, and the every present cult of Mary (which was based on Artimis that was granted perpetual virginity after she gave birth.. sound familiar?)  Then you have all the praying to the saints and such (which is just a continuation of the Roman Pantheon of Gods.. just the names of changed).. then you have the fact that they seem to think that when you go to heaven you aren't human anymore and you become part of the devine.. (I guess its how Mary does her multitasking at the speed of the fastest computer in the world now).. etc.  Then you have the black, brown, white, arian, etc Mary's and baby Jesus (I guess it depends on whereever you are born).. then you have transubstiation in which they crucify Jesus again and cannibalize him...etc.   The RCC is WAY out there.


Read the catechism? Nah. I'll just base my understanding of Catholicism on the fringe elements I've read about online.
2013-05-21 01:02:32 PM
1 votes:

Magorn: ikanreed: All you can say about Francis is that he's less openly evil than the last guy.  The 2000s seemed to be a magnet for evil monsters running large international organizations.

I gotta say I kinda liked his speech that sounded like it came form an Occupy Wall Street Spokesman that he gave to a gathering of vatican bankers.  Extra ballsy because tangling with those folks is rumored to be why John Paul I was only pope for a month. and FWIW his spokespeople are denying that was an exocrcism or any such thing, it's other people claiming that


For now.   When it comes time to Canonize him, some decades down the road, he'll be the Exorcist Pope.

Which is fine.  I mean, who gives a shiat?  If you're catholic then believing the pope's a wizard and that man was demon-possessed isn't much weirder than believing everything else in the Vatican's domain.  The question is are you doing bad things to people who haven't made the choice to take those bad things.

The answer isn't always yes, but it isn't always no, either.
2013-05-21 12:55:07 PM
1 votes:
He prayed over someone. That is kind of his job, right?
2013-05-21 12:47:06 PM
1 votes:

BigNumber12: Sybarite: Wait, he's multi-classed?

[i252.photobucket.com image 373x298]


I love you now.

/As a Pagan: Yeah, the dude probably performed an exorcism; Christian ceremonies are all pretty much neo-Pagan magic with an idiot's understanding of what they're doing. As a Farker: ...Who gives a shiat, it's his religion, as long as no one's hurt who cares?
2013-05-21 12:38:53 PM
1 votes:

Head_Shot: Magorn: dwrash: Head_Shot: dwrash: As with all Cathlolics... they exist in a state of self dilusion that what they are doing is what God wants them to... they couldn't be more wrong.

THIS....BUT APPLIES TO ALL RELIGIONS

Pretty much.. but the RCC is at the apex of totally made up shiat.

Please, son you ever taken a course in comparative religion?  Scientology has that prize locked the fark down, followed by Mormonsim (since DNA kinda disproves its central thesis) , then we have any number of cargo Cults, the Cult of St. Narco,   followed by Druid and Wicca" (love you guys but ain;t a damn thing historical about either one),  Then you got to get by LaVey's Church of Satan, and Free Masonry before you get into a three way tie between Hindusm/Buddhism/and Catholicism

Where does the Church of the SubGenius fit in?


They are the hipsters of made up religions. They made up a religion, state clearly that it is made up, and then follow it  ironically. At least that makes them the most honest religion. To be fair it is more-or-less an excuse to get together and talk about old monster movies, underground comix, and 80's New Wave bands while unleashing nerd rage against society.

/Praise "BOB".
2013-05-21 12:29:12 PM
1 votes:

ThrobblefootSpectre: He turned me into a newt.


Clerical error?
2013-05-21 12:11:50 PM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: If you were a demon and wanted to possess someone, why would you do it anywhere near a place that your immortal enemy hangs out? Wouldn't it be better to possess someone in Asia?


Of you haven't noticed, only religious people get possessed.
Same with stigmata...only super religious people.

Isn't that funny
2013-05-21 12:04:06 PM
1 votes:

dwrash: Head_Shot: dwrash: As with all Cathlolics... they exist in a state of self dilusion that what they are doing is what God wants them to... they couldn't be more wrong.

THIS....BUT APPLIES TO ALL RELIGIONS

Pretty much.. but the RCC is at the apex of totally made up shiat.


Please, son you ever taken a course in comparative religion?  Scientology has that prize locked the fark down, followed by Mormonsim (since DNA kinda disproves its central thesis) , then we have any number of cargo Cults, the Cult of St. Narco,   followed by Druid and Wicca" (love you guys but ain;t a damn thing historical about either one),  Then you got to get by LaVey's Church of Satan, and Free Masonry before you get into a three way tie between Hindusm/Buddhism/and Catholicism
2013-05-21 12:01:17 PM
1 votes:

SpectroBoy: I was just starting to like this pope, and now we are back in the dark ages peddle nonsense to the masses and playing on their fears.

Swell.


So, what?  He suddenly got all Catholicy on ya?  And this surprised you somehow?
2013-05-21 11:51:16 AM
1 votes:
This thread delivers the lolz. Well done.
2013-05-21 11:46:49 AM
1 votes:
No. He is a Arch-Cleric. Wizards don't pray gods for spells. Jeez.
mhd
2013-05-21 11:32:28 AM
1 votes:

Sybarite: Wait, he's multi-classed?


He doesn't look like a half-elf to me, and that's the only race that can become cleric/magic-user.
2013-05-21 11:25:40 AM
1 votes:

Needlessly Complicated: Everyone keeps saying, "oh, he's so humble" and "he cares about social justice" and "he's such a great pope." Whatever. He's just another kiddie-diddler enabler with an invisible friend.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-05-21 11:09:38 AM
1 votes:

Do the needful: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [l2.yimg.com image 630x435]

I'm not sure why, but for whatever reason, I imagine the sound coming out of that guy's mouth to be the same thing you hear when a TIE fighter flies by.

Is this the appropriate time to start arguing about how you can't hear them fly by in space?


Hey, now, Star Wars takes place a long time ago...the universe hadn't expanded so much, so space was denser back then, so sound waves can propagate.

/best I could do on short notice
2013-05-21 11:08:55 AM
1 votes:

RexTalionis: Technically, wouldn't he be a cleric as opposed to a wizard?


Yeah; clerics can do some pretty wizardy stuff and not be multi-classed.
2013-05-21 11:08:09 AM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: If you were a demon and wanted to possess someone, why would you do it anywhere near a place that your immortal enemy hangs out? Wouldn't it be better to possess someone in Asia?


What and fark with those Buddhist warrior-monks and those staffs they have with the demon-chasing iron rings? No thanks.  As a demon myself I find it much safer to hang out in a place where most of the population doesn't even believe you exist, and try to treat you with Prozac instead of holy water...
2013-05-21 11:06:45 AM
1 votes:

local vagrant: FTFA:  "The devil's influence and presence in the world seems to fluctuate in quantity inversely proportionate to the presence of Christian faith," said the Rev. Robert Gahl, a theologian at Rome's Pontifical Holy Cross University. "So, one would expect an upswing in his malicious activity in the wake of de-Christianization and secularization" in the world and a surge in things like drug use, pornography and superstition.

Ironic.


Go ahead, find some literature about what the Vatican considers spiritualy dangerous. You will find much ado from any religious club about misconceptions that will doom your soul and block you from the love of god. Commonly, the greatest enemy can be another religion. I saw an educational pamphlet in a Greek church declaring 'call no man father' because the Catholics got it mortally wrong and no longer follow the true path.
2013-05-21 11:00:20 AM
1 votes:

UsikFark: I'm not sure why, but for whatever reason, I imagine the sound coming out of that guy's mouth to be the same thing you hear when a TIE fighter flies by.

Is this the appropriate time to start arguing about how you can't hear them fly by in space?

The pilots are making motor and laser noises over the radio. "Zeeeerooooom pew pew pew BROOOOSH."


I was thinking their on-board computers were making the noises to give them some audio feedback as to their surroundings. But the pilots doing it themselves works too.
2013-05-21 10:57:44 AM
1 votes:
FTFA:  "The devil's influence and presence in the world seems to fluctuate in quantity inversely proportionate to the presence of Christian faith," said the Rev. Robert Gahl, a theologian at Rome's Pontifical Holy Cross University. "So, one would expect an upswing in his malicious activity in the wake of de-Christianization and secularization" in the world and a surge in things like drug use, pornography and superstition.

Ironic.
2013-05-21 10:55:00 AM
1 votes:
I was just starting to like this pope, and now we are back in the dark ages peddle nonsense to the masses and playing on their fears.

Swell.
2013-05-21 10:53:46 AM
1 votes:

BigNumber12: Sybarite: Wait, he's multi-classed?

[i252.photobucket.com image 373x298]


Oh sweet FSM, I'm still laughing!
2013-05-21 10:45:22 AM
1 votes:
Someone can't tell a wizard from a priest.  Subby's party apparently frequently lacks a healer.
2013-05-21 10:45:08 AM
1 votes:

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [l2.yimg.com image 630x435]

I'm not sure why, but for whatever reason, I imagine the sound coming out of that guy's mouth to be the same thing you hear when a TIE fighter flies by.


Is this the appropriate time to start arguing about how you can't hear them fly by in space?
2013-05-21 10:36:33 AM
1 votes:
I put on my pope robe and hat
2013-05-21 10:06:52 AM
1 votes:
Fueling the speculation is Francis' obsession with the devil, a frequent subject of his homilies.

25.media.tumblr.com
 
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