If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mental Floss)   ██ ████ to know if ███ ██████████ ██ ███████ your email   (mentalfloss.com) divider line 22
    More: Scary, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, legal doctrine, public switched telephone network, FISA Amendments Act, National Security Agency, American Internet  
•       •       •

24995 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2013 at 12:19 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-21 12:12:16 AM
7 votes:
1.  You have email.
2013-05-21 12:26:58 AM
5 votes:
I just assume nothing is private.
2013-05-21 12:39:34 AM
2 votes:
Hey NSA,

████ You.

Love,

████████
2013-05-21 12:24:49 AM
2 votes:
Well somebody needs to read that shiat, and it ain't gonna be me.
2013-05-21 12:24:36 AM
2 votes:
#15 you're writing emails.
2013-05-21 09:16:22 AM
1 votes:

tbhouston: 99% of the population is so insonfigent....wake up people, your life isn't that exciting in the grand scheme of things


99% of the people in "1984" weren't being watched, either.

Congratulations on being a peasant, though. O
2013-05-21 09:15:34 AM
1 votes:
If you like to troll telemarketers, then you're probably on a list like me.

Got a call from some long distance phone company that went thusly:
"Hi, I'm from Ragamuffin communications, and I think we can save you money. Sir, how much do you spend a month in long distance?"
'Oh...probably about two or three- (I could almost hear the guy smiling ans he thought I was gonna say 'hundred') thousand dollars'
"....did you say three thousand dollars?"
'Yeah, about that'
"Sir.....where are you calling?"
'Oh, the normal places. China, Libya, Pakistan, Iran, North Korea, Syria.'
"Uh.....is this for business?"
'Yeah'
"What kind of business are you in?"
'Oh, I sell missle guidance systems'
"Are you allowed to do that?"
'I dunno. I never really thought about that. I suppose if you don't ask, they can't say no, right?'
"You sell a lot of those?"
'Oh yeah, they can't get enough, for some reason.'
"I bet they really want to get their hands on good tech"
'Oh, I don't sell them good guidance equipment, the stuff I sell is pretty aweful'
"Why?"
'Well, do YOU want them to have lastest gen GPS and electronic systems in their missles? I sure don't. The chips I use come from old Donkey Kong Machines. Why do you think North Korea has a hard time even hitting the ocean with a missle?'
"Don't they get mad?"
'Eh, I just tell them they arn't following the instructions and they need to learn English better. Plus, all the manuals for the different parts giving conflicting instructions so the tracking guy is actively messing up what the guidance guy is doing, and the electronics guy is messing both of them up.'
"Oh, I see. Okay, well you have a good day"

He forgot to even try and sell me his service.
2013-05-21 07:58:02 AM
1 votes:
(N.B.: A Senate Select Committee on Intelligence report notes that the FISA Amendments Act does not require material erroneously collected to be destroyed.)

"Oops, we 'erroneously' collected data on every American citizen... welp, no point in deleting it I suppose"
2013-05-21 07:43:55 AM
1 votes:

tbhouston: 99% of the population is so insonfigent....wake up people, your life isn't that exciting in the grand scheme of things


That's irrelevant.  It doesn't matter how exciting any particular person happens to be.  Anne Frank wasn't all that exciting, after all.  What matters is that government doesn't get total mastery of all communications.

/Yeah, I went there.
2013-05-21 02:57:42 AM
1 votes:

J. Frank Parnell: I once had a guy on this very website make some comments which seemed like he might know more than he should about who i really am. So i researched his previous posts and what do you know, he worked in US naval intelligence. I stopped posting here for quite awhile after.


You'd be amazed what builds up in farkies when you log everything important they post in their header. You've just been farkied for your strange experience

Only like 6 farkers have admitted to being black in threads I've seen. There are literally more lesbians and gays than black folk on here.
2013-05-21 02:24:58 AM
1 votes:
ha,

everything is read, then filtered for patterns of words that of interest.  Doesn't mean every message is read by human eyes, but any electronic transmission that says combination of words like yellow cake or enrich or islamababameh is then put in an edit queue

and when I say everything...
2013-05-21 01:41:00 AM
1 votes:
Meh let em read what they want, if they want eye watering boredom my emails will provide it in spades, if they want blindness and the sudden need to shower with ajax my surfing habits will suffice nicely, if they want to run from the room screaming while trying to remove their eyeballs with yogurt spoons have em link into my webcam.

/currently lying here naked while the Old Lady braids my nipple hair
2013-05-21 01:38:54 AM
1 votes:
The best and most clever way to fool the  FBI is to come up with some kind of code  and stick to it.  The folks at the government's secretive   NSA could care less about average citizens, or do they?    Are Farkers paranoid government agencies have nothing better to do;  monitoring their private emails is not a government's priority.  Will  this egocentric hubris continue to manifest itself in every Fark  thread?

/ Come up with a code like reading every tenth word
// Burn after reading
/// Drink your Ovaltine
2013-05-21 01:29:53 AM
1 votes:

Fano: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: In the early 90s I worked on a show called "Dream On." For a short scene one week we needed a sentence translated from English into Czechoslovakian, so I got the bright idea to just call the Czech embassy and ask whoever we got on the phone to translate it for us. We did. They did. And into the script our authentic translation went.

A couple hours later the LA office of the FBI called asking why we were calling the Czech embassy in DC from our offices in North Hollywood. After a few minutes of our script coordinator explaining it a few different ways they said "okay" and hung up.

Script Coordinator Susan got to feel like a spy for a day.

/csb

*favorited for having worked on Dream On*

/"Why do they call him Eat a Puss?"


Ha! Thanks. It was a great show to work on. Wendy Malick was unfrickenbelievably sexy in person. During the first season we spent huge amounts of time watching, logging and transcribing any usable line or gesture or action from hundreds and hundreds of old (pre-residuals) shows in the Universal archive. For awhile I was an unexpected expert on guests who appeared on "Ronald Reagan Presents." That's knowledge that really hasn't come in handy since.

To keep this on topic: We we all freaked out about getting a call from the FBI. There we were in a dumpy converted warehouse that used to be the studio for "The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd." Couldn't for the life of us figure out why calling the Czech embassy was a big deal. Nor did we have an inkling of how the FBI would know (or care). Tip of the hat to the NSA, I guess.
2013-05-21 01:13:25 AM
1 votes:
Ever view the movie "Enemy of the State"?

ALL data goes through the filters.  It was (at the time I was writing about it) called Echelon, the NSA used it.  It's since been replaced by faster software/dictionaries but the basic idea is still there.  The moment your signal jumps from wire to the bird they have you.  There were at one time a number of listening posts scattered about the globe.
The FBI used a similar software.  Can't recall the name right now.

Spent a good deal of time looking into this using legitimate sources and really, there isn't much in the movie that doesn't happen. It's amazing how much privacy you haven't had and for how long you haven't had it.

No, sorry, not a tinfoil hat messiah.  You need to look elsewhere for them.
2013-05-21 12:48:37 AM
1 votes:
#16 If you live in America, just expect your email and any other private communication to be monitored.

#17 If you live in a country who has anything called or similar to "The Patriot Act", you are monitored.

#18 If there is an American base in your country, and maybe not, you're monitored.
2013-05-21 12:47:02 AM
1 votes:
12. Your data might have been intercepted or collected by Russia, China, or Israel if you traveled to those countries. The FBI has quietly found and removed transmitters from several Washington, D.C.-area cell phone towers that fed all data to wire rooms at foreign embassies.

WTF?
2013-05-21 12:37:31 AM
1 votes:

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: In the early 90s I worked on a show called "Dream On."


The one on HBO?  Great show for my 12 year old self to watch.  Some of the first boobs I got to see on TV.
2013-05-21 12:36:46 AM
1 votes:
I've never emailed bomb plans to a gay terrorist in the tea party in Boston.  Not me.  I only mention firebombings in Waco and fertilizer bombs in Oklahoma City.  It's not like I talk about tax evasion or music piracy in emails.
2013-05-21 12:33:41 AM
1 votes:
In the early 90s I worked on a show called "Dream On." For a short scene one week we needed a sentence translated from English into Czechoslovakian, so I got the bright idea to just call the Czech embassy and ask whoever we got on the phone to translate it for us. We did. They did. And into the script our authentic translation went.

A couple hours later the LA office of the FBI called asking why we were calling the Czech embassy in DC from our offices in North Hollywood. After a few minutes of our script coordinator explaining it a few different ways they said "okay" and hung up.

Script Coordinator Susan got to feel like a spy for a day.

/csb
2013-05-21 12:30:21 AM
1 votes:
Email is a postcard with big flashing lights on the top screaming "READ ME"!

Wake me when they're beating you with rubber hoses for encryption keys.
2013-05-21 12:29:14 AM
1 votes:
Who cares your ISP, email provider, and search engine is selling them the shiat anyway.
 
Displayed 22 of 22 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report