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    More: Scary, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, legal doctrine, public switched telephone network, FISA Amendments Act, National Security Agency, American Internet  
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24973 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2013 at 12:19 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-21 07:53:18 AM
Bumblefark:
#12. You accidentally joined the communist party, just to get rid of an over-eager pamphleteer who cornered you on the street.

/true story, bro.


Ah, the "Socialist Worker".  Sheesh.  You guys didn't invent socialism, you know.  Other people did all the hard work, you just publish a whiny newsletter.
 
2013-05-21 07:57:52 AM
Im surprised you americans and all your guns haven't figured out a way around this.
 
2013-05-21 07:58:02 AM
(N.B.: A Senate Select Committee on Intelligence report notes that the FISA Amendments Act does not require material erroneously collected to be destroyed.)

"Oops, we 'erroneously' collected data on every American citizen... welp, no point in deleting it I suppose"
 
2013-05-21 08:09:31 AM

Target Builder: (N.B.: A Senate Select Committee on Intelligence report notes that the FISA Amendments Act does not require material erroneously collected to be destroyed.)

"Oops, we 'erroneously' collected data on every American citizen... welp, no point in deleting it I suppose"


Actually, they might have a good reason to retain it:  It might make the analysis of communications from non-US Persons easier in those "we're not quite sure" cases.  In other words, with a large enough sample size, you can analyze typical non-targeted information and use that to filter out the inane stuff you don't want.

On the other hand, it's just going to be sitting there taking up disk space for no good reason once you develop those rules, so they probably will get rid of it at some point.

Back when I was in the SIGINT business, and I was in training, I used to copy 'US Persons' all the time (almost exclusively US ham radio operators - a reliable way to find Morse to copy even today is to scan the bottom of the ham radio bands).  Only caveat was that we had to destroy the stuff afterwards.
 
2013-05-21 08:10:24 AM
welcome to America in 2013.
 
2013-05-21 08:31:22 AM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Couldn't for the life of us figure out why calling the Czech embassy was a big deal. Nor did we have an inkling of how the FBI would know (or care).


\begin<csb>
CSB time.  In 1962 I was a plebe at the Naval Academy.  An upperclassman (class of '64) asked me how many carriers there were in the Russian Navy.  When I gave the (then) correct answer, none,  He asked my why they had none.  The duty response was, "I'll find out, sir."  "Yeah, you do that," he said.

So I typed up a letter to the Russian embassy asking them why they had no carriers.  Even at 17 or 18, I was smart enough to cover my butt by bringing it to the upperclassman for approval.  Upon approval, I mailed the letter.

A few weeks later, I was summoned to the main office to meet two Men In Black, one from the FBI, another from the NCIS.  They wanted to know why I was asking the Russian embassy about carriers.  Something told me somebody other than the addressee had been reading my mail!

After I explained the situation, that I was just carrying out orders, one agent asked me, "Didn't you think to question that order?"   Clearly this agent had no idea what it was like to be a plebe in 1962.  After pausing long enough to let the guy know I thought he had asked a stupid question, I said, "No, sir."

After leaving the main office, I went straight to the upperclassman's room, and he happened to be in.  Barely able to keep a straight face, I said, "We're in big trouble, sir."  I knew that never had the plural pronoun been less appropriate.  I skated, of course.  The upperclassman got what we'll call "a strong talking-to."  Didn't seem to hurt anybody else.  Our company officer, then a USMC captain, later made brigadier.
\end<csb>

/Why, yes, I AM a TeX user.
 
2013-05-21 08:40:07 AM

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Lavabit.com


"Due to a recent increase in the number of accounts being created for abusive purposes we have decided to suspend new user registrations until further notice."
 
2013-05-21 08:41:00 AM

stumpwiz: \begin{csb}
blah blah blah cool story blah blah blah
\end{csb}


\usepackage{ftfy}

A seriously cool story. Mine was just some Hollywood silliness. Yours was 1962 Cold War sweetness! Nice!
 
2013-05-21 08:48:54 AM
Yeah, I noticed the TeX errors just after I posted.  Got me, biatch :-(!
 
2013-05-21 09:08:44 AM
There is no privacy. If the government can force the banks, insurance companies, employers, credit card companies, communications companies to give them any and all information on you, and have already developed devices that can see through the outside wall of your home from the street (yes it exists, too lazy to find a link for you, and thats what we know exists), what privacy do you really think you have?
 
2013-05-21 09:15:34 AM
If you like to troll telemarketers, then you're probably on a list like me.

Got a call from some long distance phone company that went thusly:
"Hi, I'm from Ragamuffin communications, and I think we can save you money. Sir, how much do you spend a month in long distance?"
'Oh...probably about two or three- (I could almost hear the guy smiling ans he thought I was gonna say 'hundred') thousand dollars'
"....did you say three thousand dollars?"
'Yeah, about that'
"Sir.....where are you calling?"
'Oh, the normal places. China, Libya, Pakistan, Iran, North Korea, Syria.'
"Uh.....is this for business?"
'Yeah'
"What kind of business are you in?"
'Oh, I sell missle guidance systems'
"Are you allowed to do that?"
'I dunno. I never really thought about that. I suppose if you don't ask, they can't say no, right?'
"You sell a lot of those?"
'Oh yeah, they can't get enough, for some reason.'
"I bet they really want to get their hands on good tech"
'Oh, I don't sell them good guidance equipment, the stuff I sell is pretty aweful'
"Why?"
'Well, do YOU want them to have lastest gen GPS and electronic systems in their missles? I sure don't. The chips I use come from old Donkey Kong Machines. Why do you think North Korea has a hard time even hitting the ocean with a missle?'
"Don't they get mad?"
'Eh, I just tell them they arn't following the instructions and they need to learn English better. Plus, all the manuals for the different parts giving conflicting instructions so the tracking guy is actively messing up what the guidance guy is doing, and the electronics guy is messing both of them up.'
"Oh, I see. Okay, well you have a good day"

He forgot to even try and sell me his service.
 
2013-05-21 09:16:22 AM

tbhouston: 99% of the population is so insonfigent....wake up people, your life isn't that exciting in the grand scheme of things


99% of the people in "1984" weren't being watched, either.

Congratulations on being a peasant, though. O
 
2013-05-21 09:18:30 AM

dittybopper: On the other hand, it's just going to be sitting there taking up disk space for no good reason once you develop those rules, so they probably will get rid of it at some point.


I don't think people can arguably grasp the sheer size of data involved

Of course, computing power the way it is and with distributed cloud based analytics, it is quite possible that though while this stuff isn't stored it is fed through algorithms, analyzed and then what is deemed important is then filtered through for further analysis.

Just started on my advanced VOIP courses and its pretty amazing some of the shiat these advanced hardware systems can do
 
2013-05-21 09:27:52 AM
The FBI has quietly found and removed transmitters from several Washington, D.C.-area cell phone towers that fed all data to wire rooms at foreign embassies.

WTF?! How was this not immediately declared an act of war! This is actually worth getting insanely pissed about. We're in a tizzy over whether Benghazi was a planned or impromptu terrorist act, and other countries are conducting espionage in our capital? At the very least the embassy should have been cleared out and every diplomat declared persona non grata.
 
2013-05-21 09:33:57 AM
The real thing is, a national registry of gun owners isn't needed, all they need  is the meta-data that's available with Big Data.You can pass all the no gun registry laws you want, it's just lip service as they can go right ahead and keep a gun-safe registry, or fig newton registry. People who buy Fig newtons at Wall Mart after 9pm tend to be hand grenade owners.

Sure you can live your life without a credit card or checkbook, taking the battery out of your burner phone, paying cash for everything.  But I'm sure THAT will get you on the watch list faster than anything, so it would be more trouble than it's worth.

The result?  When there is a legitimate need for gun tracking, some guy has to spend a week of getting a handful of other people to look up manual records rather than searching a database.  All that resistance for nothing.
 
2013-05-21 09:38:09 AM

worlddan: Smeggy Smurf: I've never emailed bomb plans to a gay terrorist in the tea party in Boston.  Not me.  I only mention firebombings in Waco and fertilizer bombs in Oklahoma City.  It's not like I talk about tax evasion or music piracy in emails.

None of that is going to trigger anything because you left out the words "arab," "midget," and "porn"


Still, it might trigger an audit.
 
2013-05-21 09:47:38 AM

Smeggy Smurf: fusillade762: Smeggy Smurf: I've never emailed bomb plans to a gay terrorist in the tea party in Boston.  Not me.  I only mention firebombings in Waco and fertilizer bombs in Oklahoma City.  It's not like I talk about tax evasion or music piracy in emails.

I had ricin beans for lunch while listening to Anthrax and checking my mail.

Ricin is the poor man's james bond fantasy.  To be really nasty you need to do some google of the army improvised munitions and demolitions manual from 1968.  You can get them at unlicensed gun shows run by militias and other patriot groups.


The Improvised munitions Black books, 1,2,and 3? Nah, never heard of them.
/I have heard that PDF copies exist.
//Not that I would know anything about that.
 
2013-05-21 09:58:22 AM
Are you on the internet?  Are you sending any sort of digital communication?  It's been parsed through NSA networking equipment and scanned for key words.  Every single communication is being monitored...

CSB time: friend of mine who grew up in small town Wisconsin, his dad was a system admin for a small teleco company.  Black suits from the NSA came in and installed their networking equipment (basically just a way to parse every communication and look for key words).  Every single telecom company routes data through NSA equipment...don't be fooled.
 
2013-05-21 10:01:35 AM

bobtheallmighty: @fano

diesel and high nitrate futerlizer... where is my nobel?


I dunno, I was joking about Alfred Nobel made his fortune from creating a stable explosive.

dittybopper: iq_in_binary: It doesn't go boom at all....

You know what does?

Flour.


I learned that from this issue of GI Joe Special Missions, although there was a [REDACTED] portion to them explaining how they blew up the stuff with it, they gave a fair idea of how it was done.

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-21 10:10:12 AM

Tommy Moo: The FBI has quietly found and removed transmitters from several Washington, D.C.-area cell phone towers that fed all data to wire rooms at foreign embassies.

WTF?! How was this not immediately declared an act of war! This is actually worth getting insanely pissed about. We're in a tizzy over whether Benghazi was a planned or impromptu terrorist act, and other countries are conducting espionage in our capital? At the very least the embassy should have been cleared out and every diplomat declared persona non grata.


I'm actually laughing my ass off thinking about all my inane phone calls and texts being fed to Russia and whatnot. Yeah, have fun with my sexting, comrade
 
2013-05-21 10:21:56 AM
Occasionally, I email plans to assassinate various world leaders between my various email accounts.  So far no black helicopters.  BRB... someone's knocking on the door...
 
2013-05-21 10:33:48 AM

SharkInfested: I'm actually laughing my ass off thinking about all my inane phone calls and texts being fed to Russia and whatnot. Yeah, have fun with my sexting, comrade


Why do these Americans insist on texting pictures of every meal they eat?
 
2013-05-21 10:43:01 AM
Government perverts reading all our BIE.

(EIP)
 
2013-05-21 10:55:19 AM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: In the early 90s I worked on a show called "Dream On."

I loved that show!
 
2013-05-21 10:56:44 AM

washington-babylon: Smeggy Smurf: fusillade762: Smeggy Smurf: I've never emailed bomb plans to a gay terrorist in the tea party in Boston.  Not me.  I only mention firebombings in Waco and fertilizer bombs in Oklahoma City.  It's not like I talk about tax evasion or music piracy in emails.

I had ricin beans for lunch while listening to Anthrax and checking my mail.

Ricin is the poor man's james bond fantasy.  To be really nasty you need to do some google of the army improvised munitions and demolitions manual from 1968.  You can get them at unlicensed gun shows run by militias and other patriot groups.

The Improvised munitions Black books, 1,2,and 3? Nah, never heard of them.
/I have heard that PDF copies exist.
//Not that I would know anything about that.


TM 31-210 Improvised Munitions Handbook - quite readily available through the handy intarwebs.
 
2013-05-21 11:21:10 AM

bobtheallmighty: dittybopper: iq_in_binary: It doesn't go boom at all....

You know what does?

Flour.

gotta love an old fassion grain elevator explotion, or a coal mine.

I thought everyone learned about surface area in chem?


Wow. Not every day you run across multiple someones that actually know what a dust-air initiator is.

*high-five
 
2013-05-21 11:26:41 AM

xaks: bobtheallmighty: dittybopper: iq_in_binary: It doesn't go boom at all....

You know what does?

Flour.

gotta love an old fassion grain elevator explotion, or a coal mine.

I thought everyone learned about surface area in chem?

Wow. Not every day you run across multiple someones that actually know what a dust-air initiator is.

*high-five


Doesn't *EVERYBODY* know?
 
2013-05-21 11:39:54 AM

xaks: bobtheallmighty: dittybopper: iq_in_binary: It doesn't go boom at all....

You know what does?

Flour.

gotta love an old fassion grain elevator explotion, or a coal mine.

I thought everyone learned about surface area in chem?

Wow. Not every day you run across multiple someones that actually know what a dust-air initiator is.

*high-five


I like showing new soldiers how the non-dairy creamer that comes in MREs is flammable (when particulated in air).
Me "Hey, that stuff you just drank...did you know it's actualy dried rocket fuel?"
New private "What the hell are you talking about?"
*gets lighter, opens creamer, pours on lighter, stuff goes FOOOSH*
Me "See? Just the slightest amount burns. It's old rocket fuel that's been dried and powdered. It' just happens to have a slight creamy flavor. That's actualy the chemical di-hyrtamentine-7 (or whatever else I make up) part of it.
Private "Why do they use rocket fuel?"
Me "Because federal regulations don't allow them to dispose of it within the US. Something about killing too many turtles. But they say if you dry it, and pass a small amount of it through the human body, it makes it safe for the environment, and doesn't hurt you if you don't drink too much. Though personaly *I* wouldn't drink it, much less touch it with my bare hands, but whatever."
Private: *hurk*
First Sergeant "Sergeant MythDragon, we need to have a chat about your stories"
 
2013-05-21 11:45:31 AM

Tommy Moo: The FBI has quietly found and removed transmitters from several Washington, D.C.-area cell phone towers that fed all data to wire rooms at foreign embassies.

WTF?! How was this not immediately declared an act of war! This is actually worth getting insanely pissed about. We're in a tizzy over whether Benghazi was a planned or impromptu terrorist act, and other countries are conducting espionage in our capital? At the very least the embassy should have been cleared out and every diplomat declared persona non grata.


Because everyone spies on everyone, and everyone knows it. Even allies spy on each other. It's considered par for the course. We just all pretend we don't know anything about it. We can't get mad about people tapping our lines when we are tapping theirs. We just try and catch them, remove the bugs, and wait for them to try again, while hoping they don't find our bugs.
 
2013-05-21 11:48:19 AM

thegrievingmole: Bumblefark: Oldiron_79: Bumblefark: Oldiron_79: Bumblefark: Oldiron_79: midgit gas mask porn


Yeah, no way in hell I want that Google image search rolling around in my head while I'm trying to drift off to sleep. I'm just going to grant you the win, here...

I came up with something too sick for Fark? Does that mean I get a internet law named after me or something.

Rule #97: If a Farker cannot fap to it, it is unfappable. Verily.

Nothing is unfappable.

[www.treaclechops.co.za image 325x240]

Bea Arthur. (Not safe for lunch.)

Your move.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x285]


Yeah. I really didn't need to wake up to that, either.

/lemme go Irish up my coffee...
 
2013-05-21 12:37:52 PM

Gyrfalcon: Guess what. If you're not doing something that the NSA, FBI or CIA is already looking into (like terrorism in target countries, selling drugs in suspect nations, or working for one of the Five Families), they've got no reason to start looking at your email, or any other mail, just because.

So stop being so f*cking paranoid about the government already. They have other people they're spying on besides your sorry ass.


Because the second-to-last one wasn't in any way racist or ignoring the data trend showing that most terrorists on American soil aren't Arabic in the first place.

/Sure, they aren't reading my email. Doesn't mean they're not racist shiats who need their asses kicked.
 
2013-05-21 01:32:59 PM

wish I was: washington-babylon: Smeggy Smurf: fusillade762: Smeggy Smurf: I've never emailed bomb plans to a gay terrorist in the tea party in Boston.  Not me.  I only mention firebombings in Waco and fertilizer bombs in Oklahoma City.  It's not like I talk about tax evasion or music piracy in emails.

I had ricin beans for lunch while listening to Anthrax and checking my mail.

Ricin is the poor man's james bond fantasy.  To be really nasty you need to do some google of the army improvised munitions and demolitions manual from 1968.  You can get them at unlicensed gun shows run by militias and other patriot groups.

The Improvised munitions Black books, 1,2,and 3? Nah, never heard of them.
/I have heard that PDF copies exist.
//Not that I would know anything about that.

TM 31-210 Improvised Munitions Handbook - quite readily available through the handy intarwebs.


Yes, as are many other fun manuals for the whole family!
 
2013-05-21 01:38:47 PM
1Just assume they are and don't be stupid online
 
2013-05-21 07:05:36 PM
CSB:

In the late 90's/early 00's, I was very into chess (but eventually gave up when I plateau'ed out and stopped getting any better).   But during this time I was reading everything that I could about players and their games.  Somewhere during my interweb crawlings, I found what I originally thought was a Bobby Fischer fan page hosted in Japan.  Some of the rants on the page were pretty crazy.  Then I got to thinking, hey, "Bobby Fischer is crazy, too."  I hypothesized that Bobby Fischer (who had been in hiding for nearly 10 years after violating the embargo against Yugoslavia by playing Spassky there) was actually living in Japan.  I told an acquaintance my theory by telephone.  A few weeks later, Bobby Fischer was detained at Narita Airport while trying to leave the country.

/CSB
 
2013-05-21 08:25:02 PM

Oldiron_79: Bumblefark: Oldiron_79: midgit gas mask porn

Yeah, no way in hell I want that Google image search rolling around in my head while I'm trying to drift off to sleep. I'm just going to grant you the win, here...

I came up with something too sick for Fark? Does that mean I get a internet law named after me or something.


You graduate to 4chan\d.

Or so I've heard.
 
2013-05-22 11:11:38 AM

Makh: 1.  You have email.


This.
 
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