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(Newser)   A church gave out free $25 Chik-fil-A gift cards to straight married couples attending its "Day to Honor Biblical Marriage" event. So far, no gay couples are reported to have reconsidered their sexual preference at the prospect of free chicken   (newser.com) divider line 106
    More: Amusing, gift card, couples  
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2273 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2013 at 12:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-20 08:22:44 PM
I just had CFA on the way back from Home Depot. Combo #1 (sung to the tune of Mambo # 5)

CFA hires attractive 18 year old women.

I needed a screw.
 
2013-05-20 08:23:43 PM
The I needed a screw part was related to HD not the attractive women at CFA.
 
2013-05-20 08:25:00 PM
I have theory that all the chicken served at Chick-Fil-A are the poor birds that have been finally farked to death by Republicans.
 
2013-05-20 08:26:03 PM

feckingmorons: The I needed a screw part was related to HD not the attractive women at CFA.


OK, that was funny.
 
2013-05-20 08:30:11 PM
So can I get a coupon if I drag in that attempted female suicide bomber we captured?

Deuteronomy 21:11-13

if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife.
 
2013-05-20 08:30:19 PM
Not News:Lesbians reject free cock.
 
2013-05-20 08:43:16 PM
I hope "on the day to honor biblical marriage" they give an extra gift card for each wife.
 
2013-05-20 10:13:43 PM

feckingmorons: I just had CFA on the way back from Home Depot. Combo #1 (sung to the tune of Mambo # 5)

CFA hires attractive 18 year old women.

I needed a screw.


Fornicator!

/Just be sure to double-check her ID before tapping that young CFA filet.
 
2013-05-21 12:00:13 AM
Chick Fil A has some biatching new salads.

//got nothing
 
2013-05-21 12:16:00 AM

Fano: Not News:Lesbians reject free cock.


Came here for an obligatory cock pun.

More satisfied than I had hoped to be.
 
2013-05-21 12:16:54 AM
Wait, since I'm straight, I have to eat Chik-Fil-a? Anybody got a dick I can suck?
 
2013-05-21 12:17:23 AM

moothemagiccow: Chick Fil A has some biatching new salads.

//got nothing


I just had a salad there the other day and it was fantastic. It didn't taste like hate at all!
 
2013-05-21 12:22:52 AM
I've had waffle fries with a coupon from CFA after I gave blood. at a Red Cross blood drive... They weren't bad at all, and it was nice of them to help out.

Their owner's stance is still dickish, but hey.no one is perfect short of God.
 
2013-05-21 12:23:05 AM
The Chik Fil A I got to is the busiest food place in the mall, beating out the very gay sounding Au Bon Pan which means that marriage equality is wrong.
 
2013-05-21 12:24:25 AM
If I were queer, I wouldn't go straight for Chick fil A.

I would, however, consider changing sides from some Popeye's.


/ nttawwt
 
2013-05-21 12:26:35 AM
I will happily buy any good looking guys out there a chicken sandwich if they let me have my way with them for an hour or two....

No gay marriage necessary, but if you fall in love, I might consider it.
 
2013-05-21 12:26:44 AM
Also, I seem to have the curse of Eve in my posts... Random periods.
 
2013-05-21 12:28:09 AM
Step 1: Find one gay and one lesbian couple
Step 2: air off  Boy/girl
Step 3: Receive gift card
Step 4: Hot gay makeout session

/I'm not gay, but I'd french another chick for the lulz in this situation
//And then we'd eat some free chicken
 
2013-05-21 12:28:40 AM

maxx2112: If I were queer, I wouldn't go straight for Chick fil A.

I would, however, consider changing sides from some Popeye's.


/ nttawwt


Maybe they should give out Popeye's gift cards to interracial couples?
 
2013-05-21 12:28:44 AM
I've never been married nor have I even seen a Chik-fil-A restaurant, so I have absolutely nothing to contribute to this thread.
 
2013-05-21 12:29:50 AM

maxheck: I've had waffle fries with a coupon from CFA after I gave blood. at a Red Cross blood drive... They weren't bad at all, and it was nice of them to help out.

Their owner's stance is still dickish, but hey.no one is perfect short of God.


I've been reading the news. I actually think he is either criminally negligent or downright incompetent. Not so perfect.

/haven't seen his omelets yet but damn is he breaking some eggs
 
2013-05-21 12:30:39 AM
Sudlow:

The Chik Fil A I got to is the busiest food place in the mall, beating out the very gay sounding Au Bon Pan which means that marriage equality is wrong.

Popeye's is pretty popular around here. If you look at the way they arrange the letters on their sign, you'll know why I call it "Catholic Chicken."
 
2013-05-21 12:30:48 AM
For some reason, I would think it would be easier to turn people gay with the lure of free chicken.
 
2013-05-21 12:31:25 AM

ArgusRun: Step 1: Find one gay and one lesbian couple
Step 2: air off  Boy/girl
Step 3: Receive gift card
Step 4: Hot gay makeout session

/I'm not gay, but I'd french another chick for the lulz in this situation
//And then we'd eat some free chicken


I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.  Now that's how you troll fundamentalists.
 
2013-05-21 12:33:25 AM

AdolfOliverPanties: I have theory that all the chicken served at Chick-Fil-A are the poor birds that have been finally farked to death by Republicans.


Hey, now.

The chickens knew the safe word. Let's have some personal responsibility.
 
2013-05-21 12:35:20 AM
I'm not gay, but I'd lie about it for swag. The gay guys I know are pragmatic about such things as well.

Free food is not to be scoffed at.
 
2013-05-21 12:35:40 AM

AdolfOliverPanties: I have theory that all the chicken served at Chick-Fil-A are the poor birds that have been finally farked to death by Republicans.


That would explain why they're so tender.
 
2013-05-21 12:36:03 AM

Sgt Otter: So can I get a coupon if I drag in that attempted female suicide bomber we captured?

Deuteronomy 21:11-13

if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife.


This god guy sounds like a real asshole.

/or maybe someone translated wrong
//or made it up
 
2013-05-21 12:37:33 AM

doglover: I'm not gay, but I'd lie about it for swag. The gay guys I know are pragmatic about such things as well.

Free food is not to be scoffed at.


Free foot is not something at which to scoff!
 
2013-05-21 12:40:48 AM
If by "biblical marriage" you mean the part where Adam totally bails on his first wife, I'm in.
 
2013-05-21 12:42:21 AM
and the local gay bar gave free drinks to any man wearing a thong, not news.. Next.
 
2013-05-21 12:42:35 AM
Biblical marriage? So that means the husbands showed up alone if their wives were menstruating?


Leviticus 15:19-30English Standard Version (ESV)

19"When a woman has a discharge, and the discharge in her body is blood, she shall be in her menstrual impurity for seven days, and whoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening. 20And everything on which she lies during her menstrual impurity shall be unclean. Everything also on which she sits shall be unclean. 21And whoever touches her bed shall wash his clothes and bathe himself in water and be unclean until the evening. 22And whoever touches anything on which she sits shall wash his clothes and bathe himself in water and be unclean until the evening. 23Whether it is the bed or anything on which she sits, when he touches it he shall be unclean until the evening. 24And if any man lies with her and her menstrual impurity comes upon him, he shall be unclean seven days, and every bed on which he lies shall be unclean.
25"If a woman has a discharge of blood for many days, not at the time of her menstrual impurity, or if she has a discharge beyond the time of her impurity, all the days of the discharge she shall continue in uncleanness. As in the days of her impurity, she shall be unclean. 26Every bed on which she lies, all the days of her discharge, shall be to her as the bed of her impurity. And everything on which she sits shall be unclean, as in the uncleanness of her menstrual impurity. 27And whoever touches these things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes and bathe himself in water and be unclean until the evening. 28But if she is cleansed of her discharge, she shall count for herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean. 29And on the eighth day she shall take two turtledoves or two pigeons and bring them to the priest, to the entrance of the tent of meeting. 30And the priest shall use one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. And the priest shall make atonement for her before the Lord for her unclean discharge.
 
2013-05-21 12:42:47 AM

Fark Me To Tears: feckingmorons: I just had CFA on the way back from Home Depot. Combo #1 (sung to the tune of Mambo # 5)

CFA hires attractive 18 year old women.

I needed a screw.

Fornicator!

/Just be sure to double-check her ID before tapping that young CFA filet.


Keep farking that chicken!
 
2013-05-21 12:45:08 AM

Sgt Otter: So can I get a coupon if I drag in that attempted female suicide bomber we captured?

Deuteronomy 21:11-13

if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife.


Well, CFA serves a lot of bacon, and pig meat is expressly forbidden by Leviticus.  11:17 or something, I don't care enough to look it up.

Again, it's the choose-your-own-adventure version of the bible.
 
2013-05-21 12:45:49 AM

feckingmorons: Free foot is not something at which to scoff!


Chick Fil A, not Subway.
 
2013-05-21 12:47:33 AM
I'd get it then give it as a wedding present to a gay couple.

Suck on that, Chik-fil-a
 
2013-05-21 12:48:58 AM

bborchar: Suck on that, Chik-fil-a


That's the point, they're not going to.

Man, the only time I get a real craving, when I just HAVE to have Chick-fil-a, is on a Sunday. Of course, crazy fundy restaurantuers gots ta be closed.
 
2013-05-21 12:52:10 AM

PizzaJedi81: feckingmorons: Free foot is not something at which to scoff!

Chick Fil A, not Subway.


Snert!
 
2013-05-21 12:52:14 AM
I'm sorry, but no where did I read that they wanted gays to turn straight for chicken. They just want straight couples and not gay couples to get free chicken. Discrimination, but no sexual re-orientation.
 
2013-05-21 12:55:09 AM
Aw man, I live about 10 minutes from where this place is. Been hearing about this everywhere.
 
2013-05-21 12:56:25 AM
 
2013-05-21 12:57:30 AM

mrswood: moothemagiccow: Chick Fil A has some biatching new salads.

//got nothing

I just had a salad there the other day and it was fantastic. It didn't taste like hate at all!


That's because it's not tossed when they give it to you. They are very considerate to allow you to do it yourself.
 
2013-05-21 12:58:22 AM

Fano: They are very considerate to allow you to do it yourself.


See, I hate tossing my own salad. My wife usually does it for me.
 
2013-05-21 01:01:17 AM
I'd love it if some Jew named Solomon showed up with 400 "wives" and the Biblical verse all printed out and ready to show these tards.
 
2013-05-21 01:04:14 AM

rfeick0: Wait, since I'm straight, I have to eat Chik-Fil-a? Anybody got a dick I can suck?


raises hand, after getting $25 buck coop on.
 
2013-05-21 01:04:48 AM

rfeick0: Wait, since I'm straight, I have to eat Chik-Fil-a? Anybody got a dick I can suck?


EIP
 
2013-05-21 01:05:27 AM
Pffft, if I wanted free chicken, I'd go to The Cock in NYC.
 
2013-05-21 01:06:17 AM

PizzaJedi81: feckingmorons: Free foot is not something at which to scoff!

Chick Fil A, not Subway.


It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Jared.
 
2013-05-21 01:10:53 AM

rfeick0: Wait, since I'm straight, I have to eat Chik-Fil-a? Anybody got a dick I can suck?


s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-05-21 01:19:47 AM

maxheck: I've had waffle fries with a coupon from CFA after I gave blood. at a Red Cross blood drive... They weren't bad at all, and it was nice of them to help out.

Their owner's stance is still dickish, but hey.no one is perfect short of God.


God's track record isn't that great.

See: The Recurrent Laryngeal Nerve, especially in giraffes.
 
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