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(Jezebel)   Sad Keanu is Fat Keanu   (jezebel.com) divider line 86
    More: Sad, Keanu Reeves, Fat Keanu, double chins, Cannes Film Festival, directorial debut, fat, Film Festivals  
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15438 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 May 2013 at 8:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-20 07:36:55 PM  
69, dude!
 
2013-05-20 07:41:15 PM  
What is that, a 32-inch waist and a size "L" shirt? Oh noes.
 
2013-05-20 07:42:06 PM  
Who cares?
 
2013-05-20 07:49:08 PM  
If that's fat, I'd hate to see what they think of me. "Land whale seen flopping onto shore."

I'm 6'2", at 240 lbs.
 
2013-05-20 07:53:03 PM  

Cythraul: If that's fat, I'd hate to see what they think of me. "Land whale seen flopping onto shore."

I'm 6'2", at 240 lbs.


I'm maybe 5 pounds lighter and the same height as you.    I feel like a Gotdamned manatee.  My double chin has a double chin. I feel your pain.
 
2013-05-20 08:03:29 PM  

Cythraul: "Land whale seen flopping onto shore."


Candygram...but I eated it.
 
2013-05-20 08:06:54 PM  
He's not coming back.
 
2013-05-20 08:12:22 PM  
Fat Val Kilmer wins.
 
2013-05-20 08:13:55 PM  
Omg he turned middle aged. The horror. Probably thinner than subby.

/definitely thinner than me
 
2013-05-20 08:18:15 PM  

RexTalionis: Cythraul: "Land whale seen flopping onto shore."

Candygram...but I eated it.


I'm giggling way too hard at this.

If that's fat, then sign me up. Also, I'd still do him.
 
2013-05-20 08:18:19 PM  
www.sitcomsonline.com

Will never get fat.  Jerrod said so.
 
2013-05-20 08:23:32 PM  
www.contactmusic.com
I can't be the only one seeing it in that first picture..
 
2013-05-20 08:23:39 PM  
Keanutella
 
2013-05-20 08:24:08 PM  

Cythraul: If that's fat, I'd hate to see what they think of me. "Land whale seen flopping onto shore."

I'm 6'2", at 240 lbs.


I am 6'3" at 300 lbs.

/Subby
//Bacon anyone?
///Not Sad
 
2013-05-20 08:24:09 PM  
I don't think those are the pictures that "people are talking about".  Rather, there's this one, where he looks like Harland Williams' younger brother.

l1.yimg.com
 
2013-05-20 08:24:44 PM  
Jesus Christ he's not fat, he's finally normal.  I am not sure which is the greater sin in Hollywood.
 
2013-05-20 08:25:17 PM  
I don't think he looks very fat. Just old, like me.
 
2013-05-20 08:31:18 PM  

Ambivalence: Jesus Christ he's not fat, he's finally normal.


Depends what normal means.  If it's "average for an American," then yes.  If it's "healthy," then no.
 
2013-05-20 08:31:47 PM  
But isn't this the age where he's in the best shape of his life and better than in his 20s? We should celebrate this with a power nap and bigger pants.
This article is why I'm for anti-aging. Look at this man and tell me honestly he wouldn't rather be 25 again?
 
2013-05-20 08:33:18 PM  
I'm confused. Isn't it bad to judge someone based on their girth? Why is Jezebel, of all sites, commenting on someone being fat?
 
2013-05-20 08:35:43 PM  
img690.imageshack.us

Apparently he also had a sex change and a reverse-Michael Jackson skin coloring.
 
2013-05-20 08:35:50 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Cythraul: If that's fat, I'd hate to see what they think of me. "Land whale seen flopping onto shore."

I'm 6'2", at 240 lbs.

I'm maybe 5 pounds lighter and the same height as you.    I feel like a Gotdamned manatee.  My double chin has a double chin. I feel your pain.


6'2", 180. And I STILL have a double chin, dammit. Oh well, that's what the goatee is for.
 
2013-05-20 08:36:30 PM  
Dear Subby and Admins,

That was farking stupid.

Yours,
Zdj
 
2013-05-20 08:37:32 PM  
Whoa.
 
ecl
2013-05-20 08:37:49 PM  

WhippingBoy: I'm confused. Isn't it bad to judge someone based on their girth? Why is Jezebel, of all sites, commenting on someone being fat?


Because all sites for women on the internet are designed to make any normal rational person want to vomit from their eyes.
 
2013-05-20 08:39:34 PM  

WhippingBoy: I'm confused. Isn't it bad to judge someone based on their girth? Why is Jezebel, of all sites, commenting on someone being fat?


It's Jezebel. Snickering about someones weight is bad, except if it's a guy, who is hardly fat in the first place. Could probably use a chin lift though.
 
2013-05-20 08:41:42 PM  
The guy is 48 years old. He may not look to be in the greatest shape but I bet he's healthy otherwise. Have you seen pictures of Iggy Pop with his shirt off? Skinny as a rail but he's all saggy skin and wrinkly. I fell bad for all the people who expect to look like they are a teenager when they get close to their 50th birthday.
 
2013-05-20 08:42:19 PM  

Zombie DJ: Dear Subby and Admins,

That was farking stupid.

Yours,
Zdj


Your welcome.  Have a nice day.
 
2013-05-20 08:43:22 PM  
That isn't "fat", thats "morning after a 3 day whiskey cocaine and hookers party"
 
2013-05-20 08:47:01 PM  

skinink: The guy is 48 years old. He may not look to be in the greatest shape but I bet he's healthy otherwise. Have you seen pictures of Iggy Pop with his shirt off? Skinny as a rail but he's all saggy skin and wrinkly. I fell bad for all the people who expect to look like they are a teenager when they get close to their 50th birthday.


www.sadanduseless.com

/But, seriously: Keanu looks a lot better than most 48 year-olds I've seen.
 
2013-05-20 08:47:20 PM  
This makes me happy, since it proves he's a normal human being.  For years I thought his inability to age was because his mother mated with an alien.
 
2013-05-20 08:47:23 PM  

skinink: Skinny as a rail but he's all saggy skin and wrinkly.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_glycation_end-product

If we can figure out how to break

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glucosepane

we'll be on our way to anti-aging and life extension.

But that's not important, we have to be natural, while surrounded by paved roads, air travel and the web. Yup.
 
2013-05-20 08:47:25 PM  
hes 48.  he could pass for a late 20s year old

/ hes part asian
 
2013-05-20 08:55:59 PM  

Kazaa: I don't think those are the pictures that "people are talking about".  Rather, there's this one, where he looks like Harland Williams' younger brother.

[l1.yimg.com image 396x474]


oi41.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-20 08:56:10 PM  
He looks like a 48 year old man who hasn't had any work done to tighten up the saggy parts and enjoys the occasional carb.

Clearly a freak.
 
2013-05-20 08:57:57 PM  
It has to be completely farking terrible to not be able to leave the house without being photographed

//It's much worse when people actually publish the photographs
 
2013-05-20 09:03:19 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-20 09:07:29 PM  
This is why I hate these goddamn celeb mags:

www.usmagazine.com

Uhhh, no.  She looks really good for a preggers chick.

Likewise, Keanu gains 10 pounds and suddenly it's "Fat Keanu".  Really?  These guys haven't seen Fat Axel, apparently.  They would have a goddamn heart attack if they saw that pic.

Oh, and why do you biatch about Kim's weight and have The Human Thumb on the sidebar?  Really, people?  Really?
 
2013-05-20 09:16:14 PM  
He's fat.  People may want to say "well he's 48" but that is much less convincing to those of us who go to the gym and know 50+ people who are in better shape than him.
 
2013-05-20 09:20:08 PM  

Gergesa: He's fat.  People may want to say "well he's 48" but that is much less convincing to those of us who go to the gym and know 50+ people who are in better shape than him.


Seriously. Speaking of the gym, see you there in 26 minutes?
 
2013-05-20 09:20:34 PM  
He's no Val Kilmer.
 
2013-05-20 09:24:05 PM  

YodaBlues: Gergesa: He's fat.  People may want to say "well he's 48" but that is much less convincing to those of us who go to the gym and know 50+ people who are in better shape than him.

Seriously. Speaking of the gym, see you there in 26 minutes?


I already went today but thank you for your concern.
 
2013-05-20 09:30:57 PM  
He looks "normal", but unfortunately we have accepted fat as normal.
 
2013-05-20 09:33:49 PM  

zvoidx: He looks "normal", but unfortunately we have accepted fat as normal.


There an unfortunate truth in that.
 
2013-05-20 09:33:50 PM  
He's just getting ready to start filming "The Roy Orbison Story".

raymondpronk.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-20 09:34:35 PM  

Gergesa: zvoidx: He looks "normal", but unfortunately we have accepted fat as normal.

There an unfortunate truth in that.


There *is* an unfortunate truth in that.

/FTFM
 
2013-05-20 09:39:10 PM  
I'm calling it right now that the weight gain is for the new bill and Ted movie
 
2013-05-20 09:45:39 PM  
Is this the thread where I get to make fun of famous people for aging just like normal people do?

That being said, I'm hoping Keanu gets super fat and wrinkly so I don't have to see him in any more science fiction movies. I'm tired of him, and never understood why either he or that idiot Tom Cruise has to be stuck in in every SF movie I wanted to see.

There are plenty of good looking people who can act. Use them.
 
2013-05-20 09:47:46 PM  
Such a great actor.
 
2013-05-20 09:55:13 PM  

Gergesa: He's fat.  People may want to say "well he's 48" but that is much less convincing to those of us who go to the gym and know 50+ people who are in better shape than him.


Attention whore.
 
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