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(Topless Robot)   Someone bravely tried the new Taco Bell breakfast tacos so you don't have to   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 23
    More: Sick, Taco Bell, galactic empire, tacos, hot sauces  
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22006 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 May 2013 at 12:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
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Archived thread
2013-05-20 12:12:58 PM
7 votes:

UberDave: They should be adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon.


You'll wish you had a TARDIS so you could go back in time and stop yourself from eating them. If it's like every other Taco Bell meal, then the "scar in time" you leave behind won't be so much white and shimmery, as much as brown and splattery.
2013-05-20 12:21:54 PM
4 votes:
I miss the breakfast burritos from Del taco. talk about bunker buster bombs for the lower colon. And because of their medicinal value, I could reimburse myself from my medical savings account.
2013-05-20 11:29:47 AM
4 votes:
They should be adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon.
2013-05-20 01:55:19 PM
2 votes:

grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.


For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?
2013-05-20 01:02:56 PM
2 votes:
What the fark is wrong with you people?  Fast food shiat?  Really?  You can cook an egg and make toast in 5 minutes for half the price.  Seriously, if I wasn't so full from breakfast I would track every single one of you down and stick a fork through each of your eyes.

/ I don't mean both eyes.
// Just one eye for each of you.
/// Do slashies come in threes?
2013-05-20 12:49:39 PM
2 votes:
static.tvguide.com

"Good morning!  You're about to call in sick."
2013-05-20 12:37:32 PM
2 votes:
You can have taco bell for breakfast, taco bell for lunch, and be dead from rectal bleeding by dinner.
2013-05-20 12:16:38 PM
2 votes:
I'm anxiously awaiting the new Passover Chalupas.
2013-05-20 03:33:58 PM
1 votes:

tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.


Sonic utilizes new freezer and microwave technology to make it happen.
2013-05-20 03:26:30 PM
1 votes:

bungle_jr: WalMartian: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

I can vouch for this; except when some smart arse cook decides to put a handful of jalapenos on it.

i don't want the supersonic burrito, but i do like the other breakfast burritos there. i usually get ranch dressing added on mine.

only problem is the most convenient sonic on my way to work has this carhop who talks like she is dumb as a bucket of hair, and it's like nails on a chalkboard


My latest experience with dumb Sonic carhops went like this:  I place my order and discover the credit card swiper has been run into and no longer works, so I get my cash ready.  When the carhop arrives, I hand him the cash and mention I was going to use my card but the card reader was broken.  The carhop says, "I can take that card and swipe it for you."  And I say, "No, it's okay, I've got the cash."  We banter these same two sentences back and forth several times before I finally say, "IT'S OKAY, I've got the cash!"
2013-05-20 03:23:08 PM
1 votes:

mistrmind: abfalter: Look at this.  I would eat the fark out of this.  And I have a Mountain Dew for breakfast every morning anyways so adding 5% orange juice won't kill me....

[www.blogcdn.com image 615x353]

That looks scrumptious.   I'd rather have that than the sticks of butter I eat every morning.


If you eat the unsalted butter sticks, you can reduce your chance of high blood-pressure.
2013-05-20 01:26:42 PM
1 votes:

murderguy: What the fark is wrong with you people?  Fast food shiat?  Really?  You can cook an egg and make toast in 5 minutes for half the price.  Seriously, if I wasn't so full from breakfast I would track every single one of you down and stick a fork through each of your eyes.

/ I don't mean both eyes.
// Just one eye for each of you.
/// Do slashies come in threes?


Exactly. I prefer my artisan whole wheat non GMO tortillas (I know, I know...gluten...) and aged cheese from raw milk. I use my regular raw milk to scramble my Paolo Parisi eggs. I then use buffalo meat (when my vegan friends aren't around) with a little truffle oil, top it with kale and chia seeds and POOF! Easy breakfast!
2013-05-20 01:14:09 PM
1 votes:

FARK rebel soldier: murderguy

Where did that crazy outburst come from?


From the depths of my cold, dead heart.  I honestly would line every fast-fooding eating motherfarker up against the wall and scoop out their gallbladders with a melon-baller.  Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for them, I have a lot of cleaning to do at the moment.  I also don't know where my melon-baller is.  I think it might have fallen behind the couch, actually, so no one is off the hook yet.
2013-05-20 01:00:34 PM
1 votes:

Pick: I have never had the digestive difficulties that a lot of folks report after eating Taco Bell. Am I normal? Or do I just have a superior digestive system?


No, you're simply not trying to be a trendy douche.
2013-05-20 12:51:46 PM
1 votes:

tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.


WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant
2013-05-20 12:50:36 PM
1 votes:

Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.


But emotionally broken obese people are. They don't sleep well.
2013-05-20 12:34:39 PM
1 votes:

Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.


farm4.staticflickr.com
2013-05-20 12:33:16 PM
1 votes:
1 blender bottle, 2 scoops of vanilla cream whey protein, and 12oz of milk or cold water = a low calorie, nutritious, and filling breakfast that I can drink on my way to work, so no Taco Bell breakfast for me.

But if I want Mexican for breakfast, I'll just stop by the Texaco near work as get some breakfast pizza.
2013-05-20 12:30:31 PM
1 votes:
You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!
2013-05-20 12:29:42 PM
1 votes:

ZeroPly: Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.

One of my favorite breakfast combos is a waffle taco made from an Eggo waffle, 1 fried egg, sliced and pan fried potatoes, and kim chi. Don't get too many takers on that though.


I actually enjoy souptoastacos.

I heat up some alphabet soup and drink all the juice.  Then I make toast and butter it.  Then I throw all the vegetables, consonants and vowels on the toast and fold it corner to corner making into a shape that resembles a taco.  Don't judge me.
2013-05-20 12:28:21 PM
1 votes:

wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.


Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.
2013-05-20 12:21:33 PM
1 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-05-20 12:15:03 PM
1 votes:
"the sausage tastes like genuine animal bits"

Donkey penis?
 
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