If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Topless Robot)   Someone bravely tried the new Taco Bell breakfast tacos so you don't have to   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 185
    More: Sick, Taco Bell, galactic empire, tacos, hot sauces  
•       •       •

22038 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 May 2013 at 12:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



185 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-20 02:28:57 PM  

whatshisname: How could anyone eat that stuff and imagine they're doing their body any good?


The target demographic for Taco Bell does not usually care about their health.  They are either too poor, too stoned, or young enough to have a high metabolism and a feeling of invincibility.

/was the last one 20 years ago.
 
2013-05-20 02:31:34 PM  

Beerguy: heavymetal: When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.

This one?

[www.liquorlockerla.com image 283x550]
I loved this stuff when I was stationed in Germany.


I love Orangina, but I always want to make it rhyme with vagina.
 
2013-05-20 02:34:48 PM  
The Taco Bell near here remolded and now they have Pizza Hut items on the menu too.

I've been thinking of stopping in and asking if they can make me a pizza burrito
 
2013-05-20 02:35:47 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: I've been thinking of stopping in and asking if they can make me a pizza burrito


Went to a TBell/PH combo store and had them make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with pizza sausage instead of taco meat. Was better than you'd think.
 
2013-05-20 02:40:12 PM  

grinding_journalist: IdBeCrazyIf: I've been thinking of stopping in and asking if they can make me a pizza burrito

Went to a TBell/PH combo store and had them make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with pizza sausage instead of taco meat. Was better than you'd think.


Mostly unrelated but it reminds me of the time my kids (who are iCarly fans) talked me into making spaghetti  tacos, was better than expected.

/taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.
 
2013-05-20 02:44:47 PM  
But here's the kicker - it tastes good. It really does. It tastes approximately like a screwdriver, which means I need to try it with real vodka sometime.

Is this guy mildly retarded?A screwdriver is just plain OJ and vodka. How can adding Mt Dew aproximate more a screwdriver than plain orange juice?
 
2013-05-20 02:45:20 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Prank Call of Cthulhu: grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.

For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?

No, I am unaffected by the occasional Taco Bell.  The last time I had Taco Bell was in December I think.  But no, no effects.  Broccoli, now you will wish you'd never been born if you are around me after I eat broccoli.  Hell, *I* don't want to be around myself after that.  But you can have my broccoli when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.  :)


t.b. OCASSIONALLY has such an effect on me, but certainly not everytime. but, although i was essentially addicted to t.b., i haven't been in at least 2 or 3 months, since there are more locations of taco casa popping up and they're almost as convenient to me.
 
2013-05-20 02:48:10 PM  

Pick: I have never had the digestive difficulties that a lot of folks report after eating Taco Bell. Am I normal? Or do I just have a superior digestive system?


I never have issues either. Even after drinking a bunch of alcohol. Everyone but us is a farking pansy.

Then again I grew up poor - eating some pretty scary stuff - and around a bunch of stoners, so maybe my body has just been conditioned to such things.
On the other hand my parents also did stuff like smoke cigarettes in the house with all the windows shut, so despite my cast iron stomach, I'll probably be dead by 50. Oh well. At least until then I can eat whatever and not be miserable.
 
2013-05-20 02:51:29 PM  

jst3p: grinding_journalist: IdBeCrazyIf: I've been thinking of stopping in and asking if they can make me a pizza burrito

Went to a TBell/PH combo store and had them make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with pizza sausage instead of taco meat. Was better than you'd think.

Mostly unrelated but it reminds me of the time my kids (who are iCarly fans) talked me into making spaghetti  tacos, was better than expected.

/taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.


Sam and Cat coming in june.
 
2013-05-20 02:55:57 PM  

jst3p: /taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.


On technicality, wouldn't this just be chili?

grinding_journalist: Went to a TBell/PH combo store and had them make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with pizza sausage instead of taco meat. Was better than you'd think.


That's what I was thinking, I think the flavor profile would be pretty unique
 
2013-05-20 02:56:21 PM  

jst3p: /taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.


Mix in some fresh homemade salsa and top it with your choice of cheese. Tastes excellent.

If you like peppers and onions it's also good to saute those with the meat. If you use steak or chicken strips it's kinda like a fajita on spaghetti. Sounds weird at first, but you're just using the spaghetti as the bread item instead of a tortilla, so when you think about it it's not really as outrageous as it sounds.
 
2013-05-20 02:58:18 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: jst3p: /taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.

On technicality, wouldn't this just be chili?


If I added beans and didn't serve it over spaghetti noodles, maybe.
 
2013-05-20 02:59:24 PM  

Ihaveanevilparrot: Sounds weird at first, but you're just using the spaghetti as the bread item instead of a tortilla, so when you think about it it's not really as outrageous as it sounds.


Exactly.
 
2013-05-20 02:59:28 PM  

jst3p: IdBeCrazyIf: jst3p: /taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.

On technicality, wouldn't this just be chili?

If I added beans and didn't serve it over spaghetti noodles, maybe.


That will get you bites on Fark.

/chili doesn't have beans in it
 
2013-05-20 03:00:53 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: On technicality, wouldn't this just be chili?


Hmmm. I dunno about anyone else, but that makes sense as to why I would like it. I always put my chili on spaghetti.

I'm from Cincinnati, where chili on spaghetti is the norm, and a plain bowl of chili even with all the toppings seems incomplete to me.
 
2013-05-20 03:01:31 PM  
Bojangles Cajun Chicken Biscuit
Open  @0530, great for scenarios: 1) just woke up on somebody's sofa, hungover and starving 2) truly getting up crack o dawn for work or trip 3) all-nighter coding session that pushes past ~ 0400, reward is get that shiat done and get a fresh fried cajun spiced breast on fresh biscuit

Don't recommend truly any other time of day, as the once fresh biscuits sit under heat lamps all day.

That said, our "gourmet" cafe just pulled a Taco Smell lower GI on me today. It was some undercooked sauteed bay scallops (code word for nasty little fkers) over succotash. It started grumbling after a few bites. Not an hour later, liquid ass au natural. So, considering I didn't finish that dish, and am now fully dehydrated and hungry, mexican food (I said mexican NOT Taco Smell) sounds quite good.
 
2013-05-20 03:02:15 PM  

Ihaveanevilparrot: I'm from Cincinnati, where chili on spaghetti is the norm


Interesting, my ex-wife serves it over rice and now I can't eat it any other way.
 
2013-05-20 03:02:16 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.

But emotionally broken obese people are. They don't sleep well.


That's where you're wrong. In our dreams is the only place we feel loved.

/what?
//I'm not crying!!!!!
 
2013-05-20 03:03:28 PM  

wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.


I can vouch for this; except when some smart arse cook decides to put a handful of jalapenos on it.
 
2013-05-20 03:03:40 PM  

awalkingecho: /chili doesn't have beans in it


Don't make me stabby.
 
2013-05-20 03:04:07 PM  

jst3p: Ihaveanevilparrot: I'm from Cincinnati, where chili on spaghetti is the norm

Interesting, my ex-wife serves it over rice and now I can't eat it any other way.


I prefer spaghetti, but that's not bad either. As long as it's with some kind of starch or pasta item I can deal with it. It's fine on fries or a baked potato too.
 
2013-05-20 03:05:01 PM  
I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator
 
2013-05-20 03:06:36 PM  

Ihaveanevilparrot: jst3p: Ihaveanevilparrot: I'm from Cincinnati, where chili on spaghetti is the norm

Interesting, my ex-wife serves it over rice and now I can't eat it any other way.

I prefer spaghetti, but that's not bad either. As long as it's with some kind of starch or pasta item I can deal with it. It's fine on fries or a baked potato too.


I stand corrected, on a baked potato or a hot dog are acceptable as well.
 
2013-05-20 03:07:23 PM  

ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator


1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.
 
2013-05-20 03:07:43 PM  
How long till they have Taco Bell poptarts?
 
2013-05-20 03:08:08 PM  

WalMartian: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

I can vouch for this; except when some smart arse cook decides to put a handful of jalapenos on it.


i don't want the supersonic burrito, but i do like the other breakfast burritos there. i usually get ranch dressing added on mine.

only problem is the most convenient sonic on my way to work has this carhop who talks like she is dumb as a bucket of hair, and it's like nails on a chalkboard
 
2013-05-20 03:09:41 PM  

ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator



Calories from Fat 260 Sodium 1780mg

Holy crap....

That's my big issue with Carl's/Hardees. It's like they dump fat and salt on it or something, because I can't figure out any other way to get it to come out that unhealthy. If I make a steak and egg burrito at home and go by the labels on the stuff I buy, it doesn't come out nearly that bad.
 
2013-05-20 03:09:58 PM  

awalkingecho: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator

1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.


I got 580, you did something wrong.
 
2013-05-20 03:11:08 PM  

awalkingecho: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator

1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.


It came out lower when I did it. Did you add other stuff or something?
 
2013-05-20 03:11:22 PM  
The "Mtn Dew A.M." is a worse abomination than the "crunch wrap."
 
2013-05-20 03:11:46 PM  

jst3p: awalkingecho: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator

1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.

I got 580, you did something wrong.


It seems to have added 2 by accident; in either case, 1780mg sodium is far, far too much.
 
2013-05-20 03:12:03 PM  

Mateorocks: heavymetal: When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.

Spezi:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 200x314]


Spezi is half Coke half Orange Fanta.

My drink of choice in Germany.
 
2013-05-20 03:13:34 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.

For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?


I don't even get that.  Sure, volume and frequency increase slightly, but noting compared to the "power a third world country with the methane" levels people claim to suffer.

I suppose eating a childhood diet of SOS, ramen, hamburger helper, and La Choy canned chinese food has made my intestines fairly bullet proof.  Maybe two rounds of salmonella helped too.

/ye gods, my mother was not a good cook.
 
2013-05-20 03:14:27 PM  

Ihaveanevilparrot: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator


Calories from Fat 260 Sodium 1780mg

Holy crap....

That's my big issue with Carl's/Hardees. It's like they dump fat and salt on it or something, because I can't figure out any other way to get it to come out that unhealthy. If I make a steak and egg burrito at home and go by the labels on the stuff I buy, it doesn't come out nearly that bad.


It is my understanding that unless you have a condition that is exacerbated by sodium salt isn't as bad for you as people think.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=its-time-to-end-the -w ar-on-salt


although there is debate

http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20110504/study-shows-salty-d ie t-good-heart-group-disagrees

Interesting note from the second:

People with the highest sodium levels had a significantly lower risk of dying from heart disease than did people with the lowest sodium levels.


The fat content is something to be concerned with.
 
2013-05-20 03:14:29 PM  

awalkingecho: It seems to have added 2 by accident; in either case, 1780mg sodium is far, far too much.


Why do American's have issues with blood pressure and diabetes related to obesity? It's a mystery. I blame hfcs :D .
 
2013-05-20 03:14:36 PM  

WalMartian: Mateorocks: heavymetal: When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.

Spezi:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 200x314]

Spezi is half Coke half Orange Fanta.

My drink of choice in Germany.


i never had spezi, but mezzo mix is essentially the same thing, and i love it, and love the fact that there is a german store just a few miles away that sells that, as well as apfel schorle, and many other items i grew to love in germany
 
2013-05-20 03:15:05 PM  

awalkingecho: jst3p: awalkingecho: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator

1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.

I got 580, you did something wrong.

It seems to have added 2 by accident; in either case, 1780mg sodium is far, far too much.


Maybe not, see my above post.
 
2013-05-20 03:18:02 PM  

jst3p: People with the highest sodium levels had a significantly lower risk of dying from heart disease than did people with the lowest sodium levels.


The fat content is something to be concerned with.


To be fair, they're comparing two extremes. You need SOME salt, and people with the lowest sodium levels probably aren't getting enough, which can indeed be more dangerous. And if you're getting practically no sodium then you're probably not eating enough food in general either, because just about everything has some salt in it. So people with the lowest sodium levels I would assume would be anorexics and people with some other disorders.
 
2013-05-20 03:20:21 PM  

Ihaveanevilparrot: So people with the lowest sodium levels I would assume would be anorexics and people with some other disorders.


That's a pretty bold assumption, I would imagine scientists would not include people with eating disorders at all but I am too lazy to study it out.
 
2013-05-20 03:22:59 PM  

DarthBart: Prank Call of Cthulhu: grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.

For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?

I don't even get that.  Sure, volume and frequency increase slightly, but noting compared to the "power a third world country with the methane" levels people claim to suffer.

I suppose eating a childhood diet of SOS, ramen, hamburger helper, and La Choy canned chinese food has made my intestines fairly bullet proof.  Maybe two rounds of salmonella helped too.

/ye gods, my mother was not a good cook.


i, too, had a (un?)healthy dose of all those things you mentioned, yet my parents really are good cooks. these things were inexpensive, quick, and tasty in a household with 2 full-time working parents

now my wife and kids and i still have h.helper (and chicken and tuna helpers) on a fairly regular basis. but we both know how to cook also. when i was single i'd make h.h. for nostalgia reasons.
 
2013-05-20 03:23:08 PM  

mistrmind: abfalter: Look at this.  I would eat the fark out of this.  And I have a Mountain Dew for breakfast every morning anyways so adding 5% orange juice won't kill me....

[www.blogcdn.com image 615x353]

That looks scrumptious.   I'd rather have that than the sticks of butter I eat every morning.


If you eat the unsalted butter sticks, you can reduce your chance of high blood-pressure.
 
2013-05-20 03:26:30 PM  

bungle_jr: WalMartian: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

I can vouch for this; except when some smart arse cook decides to put a handful of jalapenos on it.

i don't want the supersonic burrito, but i do like the other breakfast burritos there. i usually get ranch dressing added on mine.

only problem is the most convenient sonic on my way to work has this carhop who talks like she is dumb as a bucket of hair, and it's like nails on a chalkboard


My latest experience with dumb Sonic carhops went like this:  I place my order and discover the credit card swiper has been run into and no longer works, so I get my cash ready.  When the carhop arrives, I hand him the cash and mention I was going to use my card but the card reader was broken.  The carhop says, "I can take that card and swipe it for you."  And I say, "No, it's okay, I've got the cash."  We banter these same two sentences back and forth several times before I finally say, "IT'S OKAY, I've got the cash!"
 
2013-05-20 03:28:32 PM  

jst3p: Ihaveanevilparrot: So people with the lowest sodium levels I would assume would be anorexics and people with some other disorders.

That's a pretty bold assumption, I would imagine scientists would not include people with eating disorders at all but I am too lazy to study it out.


I'm too lazy too.

But I never assume a study is that unbias. It's pretty common with statistics to take groups from different extremes for a comparison to get the results to come out how you want.

The article does mention this


"We need to take this article with a large grain of salt," Sacco tells WebMD. "There are major problems with it, and there is only this one article with these findings, which are contrary findings to what we and others have found."

Sacco notes that the study looks only at relatively young, white Europeans, with no sign ofor heart disease, over a relatively short period of time. He suggests that the measure on which the study is based -- collection of all urine output over a 24-hour period -- is subject to large variation if even one sample is missed during the collection period.


I'm kind of skeptical when most studies I've seen seem to show the opposite (that high salt levels are bad long term).

However, like you, I'm too lazy to go looking through scientific journals and stuff and comparing studies just for a debate on fark. :p
 
2013-05-20 03:29:49 PM  

Skywolf the Scribbler: How long till they have Taco Bell poptarts?


I shiat you not I was at this place locally here called 'J J's'

They have on their menu as an appetizer a gyro pocket. I figure, WTF lets see how horrid this is. It was even worse than I thought, imagine like butter biscuit dough wrapped and stuffed with what looks like Gyro meat put through a food processor with chilis in it and then served with ranch.

It was like every terrible midwestern food myth rolled into a single shiattiest hot pocket ever
 
2013-05-20 03:30:37 PM  

Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.


speak for yourself - nothing more serene than watching the sunrise with a cup of coffee and a joint
 
2013-05-20 03:33:33 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: It was like every terrible midwestern food myth rolled into a single shiattiest hot pocket ever


Considering the reputation of the hot pocket, I'm disturbed, yet intrigued.
 
2013-05-20 03:33:58 PM  

tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.


Sonic utilizes new freezer and microwave technology to make it happen.
 
2013-05-20 03:35:27 PM  

Ihaveanevilparrot: Considering the reputation of the hot pocket, I'm disturbed, yet intrigued.


I ate the damn thing only because I spent my last 3 dollars on it and had nothing left until I got off work.

I don't know anything about terrorism, but I was ready to sing like a songbird whatever you wanted to know from me after having to eat that thing. My body even rebelled against me the next day, I was on the toilette for hours at time while my stomach tried to escape out my asshole.
 
2013-05-20 03:37:01 PM  

sage37: Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.

speak for yourself - nothing more serene than watching the sunrise with a cup of coffee and a joint


Someone doesn't know pot heads and drunks. They ARE indeed up early in the morning. It's called night time for them. :D

Know several that go to bed about noon.
 
2013-05-20 03:41:15 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: I don't know anything about terrorism, but I was ready to sing like a songbird whatever you wanted to know from me after having to eat that thing.


I lol'd at the thought of someone at Guantanamo or something screaming, crying, and offering a confession as the interrogators pull out the terrible gyro hot pocket-like item. "No! Anything but that! Send me to Detroit!"
 
Displayed 50 of 185 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report