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(Topless Robot)   Someone bravely tried the new Taco Bell breakfast tacos so you don't have to   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 185
    More: Sick, Taco Bell, galactic empire, tacos, hot sauces  
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22018 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 May 2013 at 12:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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WGJ
2013-05-20 12:53:15 PM
Why all the hate for Taco Bell? They won the franchise wars.
 
2013-05-20 12:55:04 PM
I have never had the digestive difficulties that a lot of folks report after eating Taco Bell. Am I normal? Or do I just have a superior digestive system?
 
2013-05-20 12:58:21 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


French Fries are as Mexican as anything else they sell in that craphole so why not?  However, if I can get chorizo and potato tacos we can talk.
 
2013-05-20 12:59:33 PM

vudukungfu: Which is what most Mexicans have for breakfast, anyway


Yep. There's a Mexican restaurant in my wife's hometown which does breakfast. Straight up American-style food, but you can also get chorizo, cactus, refried beans, etc. Delicious.
 
2013-05-20 01:00:34 PM

Pick: I have never had the digestive difficulties that a lot of folks report after eating Taco Bell. Am I normal? Or do I just have a superior digestive system?


No, you're simply not trying to be a trendy douche.
 
2013-05-20 01:02:56 PM
What the fark is wrong with you people?  Fast food shiat?  Really?  You can cook an egg and make toast in 5 minutes for half the price.  Seriously, if I wasn't so full from breakfast I would track every single one of you down and stick a fork through each of your eyes.

/ I don't mean both eyes.
// Just one eye for each of you.
/// Do slashies come in threes?
 
2013-05-20 01:05:39 PM
Taco Bell is not open early enough for me to have that.  Nor is Subway.  Which is sad, because at least Subway's egg sammich/coffee combo is good.  I'd try that waffle taco though!
 
2013-05-20 01:06:26 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


They can always call them papas fritas.
 
2013-05-20 01:08:36 PM
Doesn't food have the reach the international standards for human consumption before you can do a "review" of it?

OR

Review Taco Bell food is like reviewing an Uwe Boll movie.  Everyone already knows it sucks, so why bother?
 
2013-05-20 01:08:59 PM
murderguy

Where did that crazy outburst come from?
 
2013-05-20 01:13:04 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!

They can always call them papas fritas.


You want Taco Del Mar.  Taco bell but with french fries.
 
2013-05-20 01:14:09 PM

FARK rebel soldier: murderguy

Where did that crazy outburst come from?


From the depths of my cold, dead heart.  I honestly would line every fast-fooding eating motherfarker up against the wall and scoop out their gallbladders with a melon-baller.  Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for them, I have a lot of cleaning to do at the moment.  I also don't know where my melon-baller is.  I think it might have fallen behind the couch, actually, so no one is off the hook yet.
 
2013-05-20 01:14:21 PM
So you get to spend the day on the shiatter instead of the night.  This is progress, I suppose.
 
2013-05-20 01:21:33 PM

Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant


Can't get breakfast all day to my knowledge but if you want the triple-whataburger combo at 7am you will have to wait an extra 5-10mins but its yours.

/Green Chili burger FTW!!!

www.onpointmessage.comcdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-05-20 01:22:05 PM

Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant


It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.
 
2013-05-20 01:24:13 PM

boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.


I've seen reports that one thing McDonald's might do to try to prop up slumping sales is start offering the breakfast menu 24 hours a day.
 
2013-05-20 01:26:42 PM

murderguy: What the fark is wrong with you people?  Fast food shiat?  Really?  You can cook an egg and make toast in 5 minutes for half the price.  Seriously, if I wasn't so full from breakfast I would track every single one of you down and stick a fork through each of your eyes.

/ I don't mean both eyes.
// Just one eye for each of you.
/// Do slashies come in threes?


Exactly. I prefer my artisan whole wheat non GMO tortillas (I know, I know...gluten...) and aged cheese from raw milk. I use my regular raw milk to scramble my Paolo Parisi eggs. I then use buffalo meat (when my vegan friends aren't around) with a little truffle oil, top it with kale and chia seeds and POOF! Easy breakfast!
 
2013-05-20 01:31:33 PM

Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.


-- You've never BEEN to Taco Hell, have you?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-05-20 01:34:21 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: brown and splattery


Oh, dude! C'mon....unnecessary roughing (of the mind).
BLEH

/runs for brain-bleach
 
2013-05-20 01:37:33 PM
robsmovievault.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-20 01:38:12 PM

boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.


Jack in the Box serves everything all the time, 24 HR drive-through (mostly). Sometimes you need a croissant sausage sandwich after midnight, other times you need an Ultimate Cheeseburger at 7AM.
 
2013-05-20 01:39:33 PM

boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.


Jack in the Box offers breakfast items and dinner items 24/7.  Clearly it can be done.
 
2013-05-20 01:40:27 PM

tricycleracer: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 448x328]


please tell me that is a saturday night live still....
 
2013-05-20 01:41:28 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Some marketing guy over at Mountain Dew headquarters is laughing his ass off right now over Mountain Dew AM.


In high school and college, I used to drink my patented electric screwdrivers- 1/3 Mountain Dew, 1/3 Orange Juice, 1/3 Vodka.  Wicked.
 
2013-05-20 01:41:34 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


Canadian Taco Bell has fries. And Chilli Cheese Burritos.
 
2013-05-20 01:41:38 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: You'll wish you had a TARDIS so you could go back in time and stop yourself from eating them. If it's like every other Taco Bell meal, then the "scar in time" you leave behind won't be so much white and shimmery, as much as brown and splattery.


Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.
 
2013-05-20 01:42:27 PM
Mt. Dew Throwback already contains OJ.

terribleanalogies.com
 
2013-05-20 01:44:51 PM
How could anyone eat that stuff and imagine they're doing their body any good?
 
2013-05-20 01:45:02 PM

ltdanman44: tricycleracer: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 448x328]

please tell me that is a saturday night live still....


Falling Down.

Not a sucky movie, actually.
 
2013-05-20 01:46:50 PM
Cant understand why they just cant make breakfast tacos like everyone down here in Texas eats.

I guess they have to make it appeal to all the other ethnic groups.
 
2013-05-20 01:48:59 PM

Pick: I have never had the digestive difficulties that a lot of folks report after eating Taco Bell. Am I normal? Or do I just have a superior digestive system?


Massive amounts of sodium and fat can be hard to digest if it's not a regular part of your diet.
 
2013-05-20 01:49:48 PM

grinding_journalist: Prank Call of Cthulhu: You'll wish you had a TARDIS so you could go back in time and stop yourself from eating them. If it's like every other Taco Bell meal, then the "scar in time" you leave behind won't be so much white and shimmery, as much as brown and splattery.

Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.


www.eatmedaily.com

/yes i know its not taco bell
 
2013-05-20 01:52:05 PM

Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.


But old people are. They should advertise themselves as an alternative to Metamucil. Hell, I bet they are even more effective at keeping you "regular" than Metamucil is anyway.
 
2013-05-20 01:55:19 PM

grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.


For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?
 
2013-05-20 02:00:14 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.

For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?


No, I am unaffected by the occasional Taco Bell.  The last time I had Taco Bell was in December I think.  But no, no effects.  Broccoli, now you will wish you'd never been born if you are around me after I eat broccoli.  Hell, *I* don't want to be around myself after that.  But you can have my broccoli when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.  :)
 
2013-05-20 02:02:46 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Some marketing guy over at Mountain Dew headquarters is laughing his ass off right now over Mountain Dew AM.


Came here to say the same thing. Mountain Dew mixed with OJ for breakfast? Only in farking America.
 
2013-05-20 02:03:26 PM

ShawnDoc: boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.

Jack in the Box offers breakfast items and dinner items 24/7.  Clearly it can be done.


So does Burger King.  Nothing like a breakfast burger to get the day going.

/Not fat
//But working on it
 
2013-05-20 02:06:28 PM
Taco Bell does not serve coffee.

\\\ Thread over.
 
2013-05-20 02:07:30 PM
Been drinking Mt. Dew and Orange Juice for years.  Was a great way to keep mom from realizing I was having Dew for breakfast when I was young.  It's also really good w/ Pineapple juice mixed in.
 
2013-05-20 02:07:50 PM
I miss Taco Johns I never have nor will I ever like Taco Bell and I eat a ton of Mexican food each week. Instead of this thing I would be happy with four strips of bacon and one egg scrambled between two pieces of toast with butter.
 
2013-05-20 02:08:44 PM
Can't get breakfast all day to my knowledge but if you want the triple-whataburger combo at 7am you will have to wait an extra 5-10mins but its yours.

/Green Chili burger FTW!!!

[www.onpointmessage.com image 367x318][cdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 600x342]


Arrrghghhh, I'd go for that but Arizona is a bit far to go with no transportation!

/Even with transportation it's a bit of a jog from Spokane, WA...
//Off to see if I've got any green chilis in the house...too early in the season to have any in the garden, dammit
 
2013-05-20 02:09:58 PM
Since Mountain Dew, even the Diet variety, already contains orange juice, this is not that amazing.  Now, Mountain Dew mixed with MILK, that's out there.  Try it, if you think you're hardcore enough.
 
2013-05-20 02:11:31 PM

olddinosaur: Taco Bell does not serve coffee.

\\\ Thread over.


Some people don't actually care what drink provides our morning caffeine. We will, however, cut you, if we don't get our morning caffeine.
 
2013-05-20 02:12:11 PM

ShawnDoc: boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.

Jack in the Box offers breakfast items and dinner items 24/7.  Clearly it can be done.


http://www.nbcnews.com/business/mcdonalds-breakfast-all-day-it-could -h appen-ceo-says-6C9629703

They are thinking about it. Doug Benson will have a party.
 
2013-05-20 02:17:14 PM

heavymetal: When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.


This one?

www.liquorlockerla.com
I loved this stuff when I was stationed in Germany.
 
2013-05-20 02:18:13 PM

keepitcherry: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Some marketing guy over at Mountain Dew headquarters is laughing his ass off right now over Mountain Dew AM.

Came here to say the same thing. Mountain Dew mixed with OJ for breakfast? Only in farking America.


I dunno. Over in Germany and Switzerland they tend to mix carbonated stuff with fruit juice all the time.
 
2013-05-20 02:21:03 PM

Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.


Yep, article indicates everything is good except possibly the McDs style hash-browns, but yea, that's almost expected.
 
2013-05-20 02:22:30 PM

HatMadeOfAss: ShawnDoc: boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.

Jack in the Box offers breakfast items and dinner items 24/7.  Clearly it can be done.

So does Burger King.  Nothing like a breakfast burger to get the day going.

/Not fat
//But working on it


In Germany I used to be able to get McDonald's cheeseburgers for breakfast.
 
2013-05-20 02:22:59 PM
Warning: Not all Carl's Jr's are alike, so your mileage may vary, but...

Carl's Jr's Loaded Breakfast Burrito at my local Carl's Jr. is OUT FARKING STANDING!!!

Eggs, Cheese, Ham, Sausage, Hash Browns, Pico de Gallo wrapped in a steamy tortilla.

Heaven!

cf.restaurantimages.menuism.com
 
2013-05-20 02:26:42 PM

jigger: Mt. Dew Throwback already contains OJ.

[terribleanalogies.com image 600x450]


And BVO, for extra toxic goodness.
 
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