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(Topless Robot)   Someone bravely tried the new Taco Bell breakfast tacos so you don't have to   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 185
    More: Sick, Taco Bell, galactic empire, tacos, hot sauces  
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22007 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 May 2013 at 12:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-20 11:29:47 AM
They should be adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon.
 
2013-05-20 11:31:11 AM
I was never going to try them anyway so it wasn't for me that he did this.
 
2013-05-20 12:12:58 PM

UberDave: They should be adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon.


You'll wish you had a TARDIS so you could go back in time and stop yourself from eating them. If it's like every other Taco Bell meal, then the "scar in time" you leave behind won't be so much white and shimmery, as much as brown and splattery.
 
2013-05-20 12:14:08 PM
I'll wait til it's available in Cool Ranch.
 
2013-05-20 12:14:37 PM
Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.
 
2013-05-20 12:15:03 PM
"the sausage tastes like genuine animal bits"

Donkey penis?
 
2013-05-20 12:16:32 PM
I'll take a chance at what passes for eggs and sausage before I take a chance at what passes for ground beef.
 
2013-05-20 12:16:38 PM
I'm anxiously awaiting the new Passover Chalupas.
 
2013-05-20 12:17:17 PM
Like the atrocious fully loaded grillers? Atrocious? Those baked potato grillers are tasty!
 
2013-05-20 12:18:59 PM

the dizzle: I'll wait til it's available in Cool Ranch.


Cool Ranch Mt Dew?
 
2013-05-20 12:20:39 PM
Some marketing guy over at Mountain Dew headquarters is laughing his ass off right now over Mountain Dew AM.
 
2013-05-20 12:21:33 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-20 12:21:43 PM
Except that the entire thrust of the "article" is about how he was unable to find the breakfast taco, so ate the AM crunchwrap instead.

So, he didn't actually try the breakfast taco....so it appears we still have to.
 
2013-05-20 12:21:54 PM
I miss the breakfast burritos from Del taco. talk about bunker buster bombs for the lower colon. And because of their medicinal value, I could reimburse myself from my medical savings account.
 
2013-05-20 12:23:18 PM
Yeah that really doesn't sound appealing...
 
2013-05-20 12:24:20 PM
Why did this instantly remind me of Jim Gaffigan and breakfast hot pockets?

/diarrhea
 
2013-05-20 12:24:55 PM

tricycleracer:


Thank you my thoughts exactly
 
2013-05-20 12:26:30 PM

Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.


One of my favorite breakfast combos is a waffle taco made from an Eggo waffle, 1 fried egg, sliced and pan fried potatoes, and kim chi. Don't get too many takers on that though.
 
2013-05-20 12:26:54 PM
SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.
 
2013-05-20 12:28:21 PM

wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.


Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.
 
2013-05-20 12:29:23 PM

ZeroPly: Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.

One of my favorite breakfast combos is a waffle taco made from an Eggo waffle, 1 fried egg, sliced and pan fried potatoes, and kim chi. Don't get too many takers on that though.


Sounds awesome actually.  I'd eat that.  I'm proud of anyone who tries to spice up breakfast.  It can be way too boring.
 
2013-05-20 12:29:42 PM

ZeroPly: Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.

One of my favorite breakfast combos is a waffle taco made from an Eggo waffle, 1 fried egg, sliced and pan fried potatoes, and kim chi. Don't get too many takers on that though.


I actually enjoy souptoastacos.

I heat up some alphabet soup and drink all the juice.  Then I make toast and butter it.  Then I throw all the vegetables, consonants and vowels on the toast and fold it corner to corner making into a shape that resembles a taco.  Don't judge me.
 
2013-05-20 12:30:08 PM
Look at this.  I would eat the fark out of this.  And I have a Mountain Dew for breakfast every morning anyways so adding 5% orange juice won't kill me....

www.blogcdn.com
 
2013-05-20 12:30:31 PM
You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!
 
2013-05-20 12:30:43 PM
When is 2nd breakfast?
 
2013-05-20 12:31:14 PM
And yet I still don't care.
 
2013-05-20 12:32:58 PM
Can I get a burrito supreme at 7 am?
 
2013-05-20 12:32:59 PM
I'm waiting for the bagel taco.
 
2013-05-20 12:33:09 PM
When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.
 
2013-05-20 12:33:14 PM

Carn: Why did this instantly remind me of Jim Gaffigan and breakfast hot pockets?

/diarrhea

pocket

FTFY

/deeeaad pocket
 
2013-05-20 12:33:16 PM
1 blender bottle, 2 scoops of vanilla cream whey protein, and 12oz of milk or cold water = a low calorie, nutritious, and filling breakfast that I can drink on my way to work, so no Taco Bell breakfast for me.

But if I want Mexican for breakfast, I'll just stop by the Texaco near work as get some breakfast pizza.
 
2013-05-20 12:34:39 PM

Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.


farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-05-20 12:35:07 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: And yet I still don't care.


Thanks for sharing.
 
2013-05-20 12:35:55 PM

abfalter: Look at this.  I would eat the fark out of this.  And I have a Mountain Dew for breakfast every morning anyways so adding 5% orange juice won't kill me....

[www.blogcdn.com image 615x353]


I dunno.  At this point all the crap inside you might be in perfect equilibrium, with no single item able to fully overpower the others and take control.  Introducing something healthy may just tip the scale in one direction and allow one thing to take over.
 
2013-05-20 12:36:08 PM
They'd be much wiser to skip the Mexican theming and go with a vanilla American-style breakfast menu instead. Biscuit sandwiches, potatoes, maybe pancakes, just the basics. The McDonalds here is always packed for breakfast, with a line of cars for the drive through, while most of the other fast food places are shuttered. If they could tap into some of that with a cloned breakfast menu, it might really work for them. Nothing novel, just a faster way to get the basics.
 
2013-05-20 12:37:32 PM
You can have taco bell for breakfast, taco bell for lunch, and be dead from rectal bleeding by dinner.
 
2013-05-20 12:38:47 PM

abfalter: Look at this.  I would eat the fark out of this.  And I have a Mountain Dew for breakfast every morning anyways so adding 5% orange juice won't kill me....

[www.blogcdn.com image 615x353]


That looks scrumptious.   I'd rather have that than the sticks of butter I eat every morning.
 
2013-05-20 12:39:37 PM

heavymetal: When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.


Spezi:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-20 12:40:11 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Biscuit sandwiches, potatoes, maybe pancakes, just the basics


Which is what most Mexicans have for breakfast, anyway.

Oops, I mean "first meal"
 
2013-05-20 12:40:45 PM

UberDave: They should be adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon.


www.geeknative.com
 
2013-05-20 12:42:40 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


Huh? The ones around here have tater tots. They make them extra crispy too. They are french fries, but they do just fine.
 
2013-05-20 12:43:22 PM
Correction,  they aren't french fries.
 
2013-05-20 12:43:34 PM

Belias: Like the atrocious fully loaded grillers? Atrocious? Those baked potato grillers are tasty!


The only thing atrocious about them is the lack of filling. I remember when they first rolled those things out they were actually "loaded" mini burritos. Now it seems like they're counting out the chunks of potato or the crunch strips, and not too much meat! That shiat costs 10c a scoop, don't give them any more than the recommended half scoop!

abfalter: Look at this.  I would eat the fark out of this.  And I have a Mountain Dew for breakfast every morning anyways so adding 5% orange juice won't kill me....

[www.blogcdn.com image 615x353]


If they start handing out maple syrup packets dressed up in a brown motif like the other sauces I am going to lose it. Damnit, Taco Bell, I am only a man! I can't live in your restaurant!!!
 
2013-05-20 12:44:44 PM
Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.
 
2013-05-20 12:45:20 PM

UberDave: They should be adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon.


WHAT DR WHO MARATHON?
 
2013-05-20 12:49:39 PM
static.tvguide.com

"Good morning!  You're about to call in sick."
 
2013-05-20 12:50:36 PM

Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.


But emotionally broken obese people are. They don't sleep well.
 
2013-05-20 12:51:46 PM

tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.


WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant
 
2013-05-20 12:52:52 PM
The best breakfast burrito I ever had was conjured up by a Mexican who manned the grill in the cafeteria of a USAA office building.
 
2013-05-20 12:53:02 PM

YoOjo: "the sausage tastes like genuine animal bits"

Donkey penis?


Who said anything about mammals?
 
WGJ
2013-05-20 12:53:15 PM
Why all the hate for Taco Bell? They won the franchise wars.
 
2013-05-20 12:55:04 PM
I have never had the digestive difficulties that a lot of folks report after eating Taco Bell. Am I normal? Or do I just have a superior digestive system?
 
2013-05-20 12:58:21 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


French Fries are as Mexican as anything else they sell in that craphole so why not?  However, if I can get chorizo and potato tacos we can talk.
 
2013-05-20 12:59:33 PM

vudukungfu: Which is what most Mexicans have for breakfast, anyway


Yep. There's a Mexican restaurant in my wife's hometown which does breakfast. Straight up American-style food, but you can also get chorizo, cactus, refried beans, etc. Delicious.
 
2013-05-20 01:00:34 PM

Pick: I have never had the digestive difficulties that a lot of folks report after eating Taco Bell. Am I normal? Or do I just have a superior digestive system?


No, you're simply not trying to be a trendy douche.
 
2013-05-20 01:02:56 PM
What the fark is wrong with you people?  Fast food shiat?  Really?  You can cook an egg and make toast in 5 minutes for half the price.  Seriously, if I wasn't so full from breakfast I would track every single one of you down and stick a fork through each of your eyes.

/ I don't mean both eyes.
// Just one eye for each of you.
/// Do slashies come in threes?
 
2013-05-20 01:05:39 PM
Taco Bell is not open early enough for me to have that.  Nor is Subway.  Which is sad, because at least Subway's egg sammich/coffee combo is good.  I'd try that waffle taco though!
 
2013-05-20 01:06:26 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


They can always call them papas fritas.
 
2013-05-20 01:08:36 PM
Doesn't food have the reach the international standards for human consumption before you can do a "review" of it?

OR

Review Taco Bell food is like reviewing an Uwe Boll movie.  Everyone already knows it sucks, so why bother?
 
2013-05-20 01:08:59 PM
murderguy

Where did that crazy outburst come from?
 
2013-05-20 01:13:04 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!

They can always call them papas fritas.


You want Taco Del Mar.  Taco bell but with french fries.
 
2013-05-20 01:14:09 PM

FARK rebel soldier: murderguy

Where did that crazy outburst come from?


From the depths of my cold, dead heart.  I honestly would line every fast-fooding eating motherfarker up against the wall and scoop out their gallbladders with a melon-baller.  Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for them, I have a lot of cleaning to do at the moment.  I also don't know where my melon-baller is.  I think it might have fallen behind the couch, actually, so no one is off the hook yet.
 
2013-05-20 01:14:21 PM
So you get to spend the day on the shiatter instead of the night.  This is progress, I suppose.
 
2013-05-20 01:21:33 PM

Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant


Can't get breakfast all day to my knowledge but if you want the triple-whataburger combo at 7am you will have to wait an extra 5-10mins but its yours.

/Green Chili burger FTW!!!

www.onpointmessage.comcdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-05-20 01:22:05 PM

Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant


It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.
 
2013-05-20 01:24:13 PM

boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.


I've seen reports that one thing McDonald's might do to try to prop up slumping sales is start offering the breakfast menu 24 hours a day.
 
2013-05-20 01:26:42 PM

murderguy: What the fark is wrong with you people?  Fast food shiat?  Really?  You can cook an egg and make toast in 5 minutes for half the price.  Seriously, if I wasn't so full from breakfast I would track every single one of you down and stick a fork through each of your eyes.

/ I don't mean both eyes.
// Just one eye for each of you.
/// Do slashies come in threes?


Exactly. I prefer my artisan whole wheat non GMO tortillas (I know, I know...gluten...) and aged cheese from raw milk. I use my regular raw milk to scramble my Paolo Parisi eggs. I then use buffalo meat (when my vegan friends aren't around) with a little truffle oil, top it with kale and chia seeds and POOF! Easy breakfast!
 
2013-05-20 01:31:33 PM

Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.


-- You've never BEEN to Taco Hell, have you?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-05-20 01:34:21 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: brown and splattery


Oh, dude! C'mon....unnecessary roughing (of the mind).
BLEH

/runs for brain-bleach
 
2013-05-20 01:37:33 PM
robsmovievault.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-20 01:38:12 PM

boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.


Jack in the Box serves everything all the time, 24 HR drive-through (mostly). Sometimes you need a croissant sausage sandwich after midnight, other times you need an Ultimate Cheeseburger at 7AM.
 
2013-05-20 01:39:33 PM

boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.


Jack in the Box offers breakfast items and dinner items 24/7.  Clearly it can be done.
 
2013-05-20 01:40:27 PM

tricycleracer: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 448x328]


please tell me that is a saturday night live still....
 
2013-05-20 01:41:28 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Some marketing guy over at Mountain Dew headquarters is laughing his ass off right now over Mountain Dew AM.


In high school and college, I used to drink my patented electric screwdrivers- 1/3 Mountain Dew, 1/3 Orange Juice, 1/3 Vodka.  Wicked.
 
2013-05-20 01:41:34 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


Canadian Taco Bell has fries. And Chilli Cheese Burritos.
 
2013-05-20 01:41:38 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: You'll wish you had a TARDIS so you could go back in time and stop yourself from eating them. If it's like every other Taco Bell meal, then the "scar in time" you leave behind won't be so much white and shimmery, as much as brown and splattery.


Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.
 
2013-05-20 01:42:27 PM
Mt. Dew Throwback already contains OJ.

terribleanalogies.com
 
2013-05-20 01:44:51 PM
How could anyone eat that stuff and imagine they're doing their body any good?
 
2013-05-20 01:45:02 PM

ltdanman44: tricycleracer: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 448x328]

please tell me that is a saturday night live still....


Falling Down.

Not a sucky movie, actually.
 
2013-05-20 01:46:50 PM
Cant understand why they just cant make breakfast tacos like everyone down here in Texas eats.

I guess they have to make it appeal to all the other ethnic groups.
 
2013-05-20 01:48:59 PM

Pick: I have never had the digestive difficulties that a lot of folks report after eating Taco Bell. Am I normal? Or do I just have a superior digestive system?


Massive amounts of sodium and fat can be hard to digest if it's not a regular part of your diet.
 
2013-05-20 01:49:48 PM

grinding_journalist: Prank Call of Cthulhu: You'll wish you had a TARDIS so you could go back in time and stop yourself from eating them. If it's like every other Taco Bell meal, then the "scar in time" you leave behind won't be so much white and shimmery, as much as brown and splattery.

Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.


www.eatmedaily.com

/yes i know its not taco bell
 
2013-05-20 01:52:05 PM

Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.


But old people are. They should advertise themselves as an alternative to Metamucil. Hell, I bet they are even more effective at keeping you "regular" than Metamucil is anyway.
 
2013-05-20 01:55:19 PM

grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.


For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?
 
2013-05-20 02:00:14 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.

For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?


No, I am unaffected by the occasional Taco Bell.  The last time I had Taco Bell was in December I think.  But no, no effects.  Broccoli, now you will wish you'd never been born if you are around me after I eat broccoli.  Hell, *I* don't want to be around myself after that.  But you can have my broccoli when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.  :)
 
2013-05-20 02:02:46 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Some marketing guy over at Mountain Dew headquarters is laughing his ass off right now over Mountain Dew AM.


Came here to say the same thing. Mountain Dew mixed with OJ for breakfast? Only in farking America.
 
2013-05-20 02:03:26 PM

ShawnDoc: boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.

Jack in the Box offers breakfast items and dinner items 24/7.  Clearly it can be done.


So does Burger King.  Nothing like a breakfast burger to get the day going.

/Not fat
//But working on it
 
2013-05-20 02:06:28 PM
Taco Bell does not serve coffee.

\\\ Thread over.
 
2013-05-20 02:07:30 PM
Been drinking Mt. Dew and Orange Juice for years.  Was a great way to keep mom from realizing I was having Dew for breakfast when I was young.  It's also really good w/ Pineapple juice mixed in.
 
2013-05-20 02:07:50 PM
I miss Taco Johns I never have nor will I ever like Taco Bell and I eat a ton of Mexican food each week. Instead of this thing I would be happy with four strips of bacon and one egg scrambled between two pieces of toast with butter.
 
2013-05-20 02:08:44 PM
Can't get breakfast all day to my knowledge but if you want the triple-whataburger combo at 7am you will have to wait an extra 5-10mins but its yours.

/Green Chili burger FTW!!!

[www.onpointmessage.com image 367x318][cdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 600x342]


Arrrghghhh, I'd go for that but Arizona is a bit far to go with no transportation!

/Even with transportation it's a bit of a jog from Spokane, WA...
//Off to see if I've got any green chilis in the house...too early in the season to have any in the garden, dammit
 
2013-05-20 02:09:58 PM
Since Mountain Dew, even the Diet variety, already contains orange juice, this is not that amazing.  Now, Mountain Dew mixed with MILK, that's out there.  Try it, if you think you're hardcore enough.
 
2013-05-20 02:11:31 PM

olddinosaur: Taco Bell does not serve coffee.

\\\ Thread over.


Some people don't actually care what drink provides our morning caffeine. We will, however, cut you, if we don't get our morning caffeine.
 
2013-05-20 02:12:11 PM

ShawnDoc: boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.

Jack in the Box offers breakfast items and dinner items 24/7.  Clearly it can be done.


http://www.nbcnews.com/business/mcdonalds-breakfast-all-day-it-could -h appen-ceo-says-6C9629703

They are thinking about it. Doug Benson will have a party.
 
2013-05-20 02:17:14 PM

heavymetal: When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.


This one?

www.liquorlockerla.com
I loved this stuff when I was stationed in Germany.
 
2013-05-20 02:18:13 PM

keepitcherry: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Some marketing guy over at Mountain Dew headquarters is laughing his ass off right now over Mountain Dew AM.

Came here to say the same thing. Mountain Dew mixed with OJ for breakfast? Only in farking America.


I dunno. Over in Germany and Switzerland they tend to mix carbonated stuff with fruit juice all the time.
 
2013-05-20 02:21:03 PM

Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.


Yep, article indicates everything is good except possibly the McDs style hash-browns, but yea, that's almost expected.
 
2013-05-20 02:22:30 PM

HatMadeOfAss: ShawnDoc: boarch: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

It's probably the FDA's fault. I wonder if it's like that in other countries.

Jack in the Box offers breakfast items and dinner items 24/7.  Clearly it can be done.

So does Burger King.  Nothing like a breakfast burger to get the day going.

/Not fat
//But working on it


In Germany I used to be able to get McDonald's cheeseburgers for breakfast.
 
2013-05-20 02:22:59 PM
Warning: Not all Carl's Jr's are alike, so your mileage may vary, but...

Carl's Jr's Loaded Breakfast Burrito at my local Carl's Jr. is OUT FARKING STANDING!!!

Eggs, Cheese, Ham, Sausage, Hash Browns, Pico de Gallo wrapped in a steamy tortilla.

Heaven!

cf.restaurantimages.menuism.com
 
2013-05-20 02:26:42 PM

jigger: Mt. Dew Throwback already contains OJ.

[terribleanalogies.com image 600x450]


And BVO, for extra toxic goodness.
 
2013-05-20 02:28:57 PM

whatshisname: How could anyone eat that stuff and imagine they're doing their body any good?


The target demographic for Taco Bell does not usually care about their health.  They are either too poor, too stoned, or young enough to have a high metabolism and a feeling of invincibility.

/was the last one 20 years ago.
 
2013-05-20 02:31:34 PM

Beerguy: heavymetal: When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.

This one?

[www.liquorlockerla.com image 283x550]
I loved this stuff when I was stationed in Germany.


I love Orangina, but I always want to make it rhyme with vagina.
 
2013-05-20 02:34:48 PM
The Taco Bell near here remolded and now they have Pizza Hut items on the menu too.

I've been thinking of stopping in and asking if they can make me a pizza burrito
 
2013-05-20 02:35:47 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: I've been thinking of stopping in and asking if they can make me a pizza burrito


Went to a TBell/PH combo store and had them make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with pizza sausage instead of taco meat. Was better than you'd think.
 
2013-05-20 02:40:12 PM

grinding_journalist: IdBeCrazyIf: I've been thinking of stopping in and asking if they can make me a pizza burrito

Went to a TBell/PH combo store and had them make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with pizza sausage instead of taco meat. Was better than you'd think.


Mostly unrelated but it reminds me of the time my kids (who are iCarly fans) talked me into making spaghetti  tacos, was better than expected.

/taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.
 
2013-05-20 02:44:47 PM
But here's the kicker - it tastes good. It really does. It tastes approximately like a screwdriver, which means I need to try it with real vodka sometime.

Is this guy mildly retarded?A screwdriver is just plain OJ and vodka. How can adding Mt Dew aproximate more a screwdriver than plain orange juice?
 
2013-05-20 02:45:20 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Prank Call of Cthulhu: grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.

For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?

No, I am unaffected by the occasional Taco Bell.  The last time I had Taco Bell was in December I think.  But no, no effects.  Broccoli, now you will wish you'd never been born if you are around me after I eat broccoli.  Hell, *I* don't want to be around myself after that.  But you can have my broccoli when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.  :)


t.b. OCASSIONALLY has such an effect on me, but certainly not everytime. but, although i was essentially addicted to t.b., i haven't been in at least 2 or 3 months, since there are more locations of taco casa popping up and they're almost as convenient to me.
 
2013-05-20 02:48:10 PM

Pick: I have never had the digestive difficulties that a lot of folks report after eating Taco Bell. Am I normal? Or do I just have a superior digestive system?


I never have issues either. Even after drinking a bunch of alcohol. Everyone but us is a farking pansy.

Then again I grew up poor - eating some pretty scary stuff - and around a bunch of stoners, so maybe my body has just been conditioned to such things.
On the other hand my parents also did stuff like smoke cigarettes in the house with all the windows shut, so despite my cast iron stomach, I'll probably be dead by 50. Oh well. At least until then I can eat whatever and not be miserable.
 
2013-05-20 02:51:29 PM

jst3p: grinding_journalist: IdBeCrazyIf: I've been thinking of stopping in and asking if they can make me a pizza burrito

Went to a TBell/PH combo store and had them make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with pizza sausage instead of taco meat. Was better than you'd think.

Mostly unrelated but it reminds me of the time my kids (who are iCarly fans) talked me into making spaghetti  tacos, was better than expected.

/taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.


Sam and Cat coming in june.
 
2013-05-20 02:55:57 PM

jst3p: /taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.


On technicality, wouldn't this just be chili?

grinding_journalist: Went to a TBell/PH combo store and had them make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with pizza sausage instead of taco meat. Was better than you'd think.


That's what I was thinking, I think the flavor profile would be pretty unique
 
2013-05-20 02:56:21 PM

jst3p: /taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.


Mix in some fresh homemade salsa and top it with your choice of cheese. Tastes excellent.

If you like peppers and onions it's also good to saute those with the meat. If you use steak or chicken strips it's kinda like a fajita on spaghetti. Sounds weird at first, but you're just using the spaghetti as the bread item instead of a tortilla, so when you think about it it's not really as outrageous as it sounds.
 
2013-05-20 02:58:18 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: jst3p: /taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.

On technicality, wouldn't this just be chili?


If I added beans and didn't serve it over spaghetti noodles, maybe.
 
2013-05-20 02:59:24 PM

Ihaveanevilparrot: Sounds weird at first, but you're just using the spaghetti as the bread item instead of a tortilla, so when you think about it it's not really as outrageous as it sounds.


Exactly.
 
2013-05-20 02:59:28 PM

jst3p: IdBeCrazyIf: jst3p: /taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.

On technicality, wouldn't this just be chili?

If I added beans and didn't serve it over spaghetti noodles, maybe.


That will get you bites on Fark.

/chili doesn't have beans in it
 
2013-05-20 03:00:53 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: On technicality, wouldn't this just be chili?


Hmmm. I dunno about anyone else, but that makes sense as to why I would like it. I always put my chili on spaghetti.

I'm from Cincinnati, where chili on spaghetti is the norm, and a plain bowl of chili even with all the toppings seems incomplete to me.
 
2013-05-20 03:01:31 PM
Bojangles Cajun Chicken Biscuit
Open  @0530, great for scenarios: 1) just woke up on somebody's sofa, hungover and starving 2) truly getting up crack o dawn for work or trip 3) all-nighter coding session that pushes past ~ 0400, reward is get that shiat done and get a fresh fried cajun spiced breast on fresh biscuit

Don't recommend truly any other time of day, as the once fresh biscuits sit under heat lamps all day.

That said, our "gourmet" cafe just pulled a Taco Smell lower GI on me today. It was some undercooked sauteed bay scallops (code word for nasty little fkers) over succotash. It started grumbling after a few bites. Not an hour later, liquid ass au natural. So, considering I didn't finish that dish, and am now fully dehydrated and hungry, mexican food (I said mexican NOT Taco Smell) sounds quite good.
 
2013-05-20 03:02:15 PM

Ihaveanevilparrot: I'm from Cincinnati, where chili on spaghetti is the norm


Interesting, my ex-wife serves it over rice and now I can't eat it any other way.
 
2013-05-20 03:02:16 PM

sigdiamond2000: Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.

But emotionally broken obese people are. They don't sleep well.


That's where you're wrong. In our dreams is the only place we feel loved.

/what?
//I'm not crying!!!!!
 
2013-05-20 03:03:28 PM

wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.


I can vouch for this; except when some smart arse cook decides to put a handful of jalapenos on it.
 
2013-05-20 03:03:40 PM

awalkingecho: /chili doesn't have beans in it


Don't make me stabby.
 
2013-05-20 03:04:07 PM

jst3p: Ihaveanevilparrot: I'm from Cincinnati, where chili on spaghetti is the norm

Interesting, my ex-wife serves it over rice and now I can't eat it any other way.


I prefer spaghetti, but that's not bad either. As long as it's with some kind of starch or pasta item I can deal with it. It's fine on fries or a baked potato too.
 
2013-05-20 03:05:01 PM
I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator
 
2013-05-20 03:06:36 PM

Ihaveanevilparrot: jst3p: Ihaveanevilparrot: I'm from Cincinnati, where chili on spaghetti is the norm

Interesting, my ex-wife serves it over rice and now I can't eat it any other way.

I prefer spaghetti, but that's not bad either. As long as it's with some kind of starch or pasta item I can deal with it. It's fine on fries or a baked potato too.


I stand corrected, on a baked potato or a hot dog are acceptable as well.
 
2013-05-20 03:07:23 PM

ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator


1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.
 
2013-05-20 03:07:43 PM
How long till they have Taco Bell poptarts?
 
2013-05-20 03:08:08 PM

WalMartian: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

I can vouch for this; except when some smart arse cook decides to put a handful of jalapenos on it.


i don't want the supersonic burrito, but i do like the other breakfast burritos there. i usually get ranch dressing added on mine.

only problem is the most convenient sonic on my way to work has this carhop who talks like she is dumb as a bucket of hair, and it's like nails on a chalkboard
 
2013-05-20 03:09:41 PM

ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator



Calories from Fat 260 Sodium 1780mg

Holy crap....

That's my big issue with Carl's/Hardees. It's like they dump fat and salt on it or something, because I can't figure out any other way to get it to come out that unhealthy. If I make a steak and egg burrito at home and go by the labels on the stuff I buy, it doesn't come out nearly that bad.
 
2013-05-20 03:09:58 PM

awalkingecho: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator

1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.


I got 580, you did something wrong.
 
2013-05-20 03:11:08 PM

awalkingecho: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator

1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.


It came out lower when I did it. Did you add other stuff or something?
 
2013-05-20 03:11:22 PM
The "Mtn Dew A.M." is a worse abomination than the "crunch wrap."
 
2013-05-20 03:11:46 PM

jst3p: awalkingecho: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator

1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.

I got 580, you did something wrong.


It seems to have added 2 by accident; in either case, 1780mg sodium is far, far too much.
 
2013-05-20 03:12:03 PM

Mateorocks: heavymetal: When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.

Spezi:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 200x314]


Spezi is half Coke half Orange Fanta.

My drink of choice in Germany.
 
2013-05-20 03:13:34 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.

For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?


I don't even get that.  Sure, volume and frequency increase slightly, but noting compared to the "power a third world country with the methane" levels people claim to suffer.

I suppose eating a childhood diet of SOS, ramen, hamburger helper, and La Choy canned chinese food has made my intestines fairly bullet proof.  Maybe two rounds of salmonella helped too.

/ye gods, my mother was not a good cook.
 
2013-05-20 03:14:27 PM

Ihaveanevilparrot: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator


Calories from Fat 260 Sodium 1780mg

Holy crap....

That's my big issue with Carl's/Hardees. It's like they dump fat and salt on it or something, because I can't figure out any other way to get it to come out that unhealthy. If I make a steak and egg burrito at home and go by the labels on the stuff I buy, it doesn't come out nearly that bad.


It is my understanding that unless you have a condition that is exacerbated by sodium salt isn't as bad for you as people think.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=its-time-to-end-the -w ar-on-salt


although there is debate

http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20110504/study-shows-salty-d ie t-good-heart-group-disagrees

Interesting note from the second:

People with the highest sodium levels had a significantly lower risk of dying from heart disease than did people with the lowest sodium levels.


The fat content is something to be concerned with.
 
2013-05-20 03:14:29 PM

awalkingecho: It seems to have added 2 by accident; in either case, 1780mg sodium is far, far too much.


Why do American's have issues with blood pressure and diabetes related to obesity? It's a mystery. I blame hfcs :D .
 
2013-05-20 03:14:36 PM

WalMartian: Mateorocks: heavymetal: When I was a kid living in Germany while my dad was staioned there, I remember three products the "beer man" delivered that weren't alcoholic. They were a sparkling mineral water and two types of "lemonaide". One "lemonaide" was clear and tasted like Sprite or 7-up, the other was cloudy and tasted like Mt Dew with orange juice in it. Mt Dew AM made me think about the latter one.

Spezi:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 200x314]

Spezi is half Coke half Orange Fanta.

My drink of choice in Germany.


i never had spezi, but mezzo mix is essentially the same thing, and i love it, and love the fact that there is a german store just a few miles away that sells that, as well as apfel schorle, and many other items i grew to love in germany
 
2013-05-20 03:15:05 PM

awalkingecho: jst3p: awalkingecho: ski9600: I had the steak and egg burrito at Carl's Jr on Mother's day (on the way to Mom's house) and it was pretty darn good and very filling.  And it was under $4

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/nutritional_calculator

1100 calories and 3600mg sodium?

Jesus farking christ.

I got 580, you did something wrong.

It seems to have added 2 by accident; in either case, 1780mg sodium is far, far too much.


Maybe not, see my above post.
 
2013-05-20 03:18:02 PM

jst3p: People with the highest sodium levels had a significantly lower risk of dying from heart disease than did people with the lowest sodium levels.


The fat content is something to be concerned with.


To be fair, they're comparing two extremes. You need SOME salt, and people with the lowest sodium levels probably aren't getting enough, which can indeed be more dangerous. And if you're getting practically no sodium then you're probably not eating enough food in general either, because just about everything has some salt in it. So people with the lowest sodium levels I would assume would be anorexics and people with some other disorders.
 
2013-05-20 03:20:21 PM

Ihaveanevilparrot: So people with the lowest sodium levels I would assume would be anorexics and people with some other disorders.


That's a pretty bold assumption, I would imagine scientists would not include people with eating disorders at all but I am too lazy to study it out.
 
2013-05-20 03:22:59 PM

DarthBart: Prank Call of Cthulhu: grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.

For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?

I don't even get that.  Sure, volume and frequency increase slightly, but noting compared to the "power a third world country with the methane" levels people claim to suffer.

I suppose eating a childhood diet of SOS, ramen, hamburger helper, and La Choy canned chinese food has made my intestines fairly bullet proof.  Maybe two rounds of salmonella helped too.

/ye gods, my mother was not a good cook.


i, too, had a (un?)healthy dose of all those things you mentioned, yet my parents really are good cooks. these things were inexpensive, quick, and tasty in a household with 2 full-time working parents

now my wife and kids and i still have h.helper (and chicken and tuna helpers) on a fairly regular basis. but we both know how to cook also. when i was single i'd make h.h. for nostalgia reasons.
 
2013-05-20 03:23:08 PM

mistrmind: abfalter: Look at this.  I would eat the fark out of this.  And I have a Mountain Dew for breakfast every morning anyways so adding 5% orange juice won't kill me....

[www.blogcdn.com image 615x353]

That looks scrumptious.   I'd rather have that than the sticks of butter I eat every morning.


If you eat the unsalted butter sticks, you can reduce your chance of high blood-pressure.
 
2013-05-20 03:26:30 PM

bungle_jr: WalMartian: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

I can vouch for this; except when some smart arse cook decides to put a handful of jalapenos on it.

i don't want the supersonic burrito, but i do like the other breakfast burritos there. i usually get ranch dressing added on mine.

only problem is the most convenient sonic on my way to work has this carhop who talks like she is dumb as a bucket of hair, and it's like nails on a chalkboard


My latest experience with dumb Sonic carhops went like this:  I place my order and discover the credit card swiper has been run into and no longer works, so I get my cash ready.  When the carhop arrives, I hand him the cash and mention I was going to use my card but the card reader was broken.  The carhop says, "I can take that card and swipe it for you."  And I say, "No, it's okay, I've got the cash."  We banter these same two sentences back and forth several times before I finally say, "IT'S OKAY, I've got the cash!"
 
2013-05-20 03:28:32 PM

jst3p: Ihaveanevilparrot: So people with the lowest sodium levels I would assume would be anorexics and people with some other disorders.

That's a pretty bold assumption, I would imagine scientists would not include people with eating disorders at all but I am too lazy to study it out.


I'm too lazy too.

But I never assume a study is that unbias. It's pretty common with statistics to take groups from different extremes for a comparison to get the results to come out how you want.

The article does mention this


"We need to take this article with a large grain of salt," Sacco tells WebMD. "There are major problems with it, and there is only this one article with these findings, which are contrary findings to what we and others have found."

Sacco notes that the study looks only at relatively young, white Europeans, with no sign ofor heart disease, over a relatively short period of time. He suggests that the measure on which the study is based -- collection of all urine output over a 24-hour period -- is subject to large variation if even one sample is missed during the collection period.


I'm kind of skeptical when most studies I've seen seem to show the opposite (that high salt levels are bad long term).

However, like you, I'm too lazy to go looking through scientific journals and stuff and comparing studies just for a debate on fark. :p
 
2013-05-20 03:29:49 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: How long till they have Taco Bell poptarts?


I shiat you not I was at this place locally here called 'J J's'

They have on their menu as an appetizer a gyro pocket. I figure, WTF lets see how horrid this is. It was even worse than I thought, imagine like butter biscuit dough wrapped and stuffed with what looks like Gyro meat put through a food processor with chilis in it and then served with ranch.

It was like every terrible midwestern food myth rolled into a single shiattiest hot pocket ever
 
2013-05-20 03:30:37 PM

Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.


speak for yourself - nothing more serene than watching the sunrise with a cup of coffee and a joint
 
2013-05-20 03:33:33 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: It was like every terrible midwestern food myth rolled into a single shiattiest hot pocket ever


Considering the reputation of the hot pocket, I'm disturbed, yet intrigued.
 
2013-05-20 03:33:58 PM

tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.


Sonic utilizes new freezer and microwave technology to make it happen.
 
2013-05-20 03:35:27 PM

Ihaveanevilparrot: Considering the reputation of the hot pocket, I'm disturbed, yet intrigued.


I ate the damn thing only because I spent my last 3 dollars on it and had nothing left until I got off work.

I don't know anything about terrorism, but I was ready to sing like a songbird whatever you wanted to know from me after having to eat that thing. My body even rebelled against me the next day, I was on the toilette for hours at time while my stomach tried to escape out my asshole.
 
2013-05-20 03:37:01 PM

sage37: Citrate1007: Good luck Taco Bell, potheads and drunks aren't up early in the morning.

speak for yourself - nothing more serene than watching the sunrise with a cup of coffee and a joint


Someone doesn't know pot heads and drunks. They ARE indeed up early in the morning. It's called night time for them. :D

Know several that go to bed about noon.
 
2013-05-20 03:41:15 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: I don't know anything about terrorism, but I was ready to sing like a songbird whatever you wanted to know from me after having to eat that thing.


I lol'd at the thought of someone at Guantanamo or something screaming, crying, and offering a confession as the interrogators pull out the terrible gyro hot pocket-like item. "No! Anything but that! Send me to Detroit!"
 
2013-05-20 03:42:08 PM
Brave Sir Robin ran away. ("No!") Bravely ran away away. ("I didn't!") When danger reared it's ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled. ("no!") Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about ("I didn't!") And gallantly he chickened out.
 
2013-05-20 03:49:42 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: How long till they have Taco Bell poptarts?


Maybe a Pop Tart shell for a taco?
 
2013-05-20 03:51:27 PM

Ihaveanevilparrot: I lol'd at the thought of someone at Guantanamo or something screaming, crying, and offering a confession as the interrogators pull out the terrible gyro hot pocket-like item. "No! Anything but that! Send me to Detroit!"


I had started to just eat it like a hot pocket, the first few bites I opened it up because I had to see what the innards looked like.
 
2013-05-20 03:54:58 PM
If you must eat a breakfast taco hopefully you have a steak and shame nearby. Their breakfast tacos are made with actual egg, diced up peppers and shredded cheese. They actually scramble everything up and cook it on the skillet. Its not a frozen egg patty, frozen sausage patty, etc that they microwave. The best part is that it only costs 99 cents.
 
2013-05-20 04:04:44 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


Maybe Taco Smell can figure out a way to fark these up. Tater tots stuffed with beef and nacho cheese, or something? They could do it. We have the technology!
 
2013-05-20 04:06:07 PM

grinding_journalist: Prank Call of Cthulhu: You'll wish you had a TARDIS so you could go back in time and stop yourself from eating them. If it's like every other Taco Bell meal, then the "scar in time" you leave behind won't be so much white and shimmery, as much as brown and splattery.

Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.


I used to share your sentiment, but after changing my diet I eat fast food very rarely now and when I do.....n'yoh my god. 20-25 minutes later I'm running to the bathroom.
 
2013-05-20 04:06:13 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


Back in 1995-6 or so, the Taco Bell by me (Huntington, NY) sold fries.
 
2013-05-20 04:08:44 PM

bungle_jr: DarthBart: Prank Call of Cthulhu: grinding_journalist: Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.

For me, at least, the explosions are (mostly) just gas. Violent, uncontrollable, voluminous, and near constant flatulence that kicks in about four or five hours afterwards. I'm talking about those really hot farts that threaten to peel the paint off the walls and blow out fluorescent light tubes. It's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the top of Ark blows off and the winds scream around and melt people and the dead rise. Mrs. PCoC walked into a room once shortly after I'd detonated one and then quickly departed, screaming and vurping.

Does this not happen to everyone? Should I not order their bean burritos?

I don't even get that.  Sure, volume and frequency increase slightly, but noting compared to the "power a third world country with the methane" levels people claim to suffer.

I suppose eating a childhood diet of SOS, ramen, hamburger helper, and La Choy canned chinese food has made my intestines fairly bullet proof.  Maybe two rounds of salmonella helped too.

/ye gods, my mother was not a good cook.

i, too, had a (un?)healthy dose of all those things you mentioned, yet my parents really are good cooks. these things were inexpensive, quick, and tasty in a household with 2 full-time working parents

now my wife and kids and i still have h.helper (and chicken and tuna helpers) on a fairly regular basis. but we both know how to cook also. when i was single i'd make h.h. for nostalgia reasons.


I will never, never, never eat  "* Helper" again and neither will my father.  I'd rather eat something shoveled out of the cat box.

My stepmother uses HH as a threat when my dad gets pissy.  She keeps a box of it around and when needed, she'll drag it out and say "You don't like it here with me? You can go back to *her*".

Then my wife one-upped her by buying a box of generic WalMart HH.
 
2013-05-20 04:09:59 PM
If it's good, I'll eat it. If it's not, hey, there are other options and nobody really goes to Taco Bell to be sticklers about selection or nutritional benefit.
You go because it's midnight and you have $3 in your pocket, and that $3 can conveniently buy you something astounding synthetic and undoubtedly horrible for you but Christ it's so good.
 
2013-05-20 04:12:29 PM

ski9600: Skywolf the Scribbler: How long till they have Taco Bell poptarts?

Maybe a Pop Tart shell for a taco?


I would try that.  Deep fry that baby, sprinkle on some powdered sugar and you've got a freaky Mexican Monte Christo.
 
2013-05-20 04:17:28 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: 1 blender bottle, 2 scoops of vanilla cream whey protein, and 12oz of milk or cold water = a low calorie, nutritious, and filling breakfast that I can drink on my way to work, so no Taco Bell breakfast for me.


Bro, do you even lift?
 
2013-05-20 04:39:44 PM

ArcadianRefugee: doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!

Back in 1995-6 or so, the Taco Bell by me (Huntington, NY) sold fries.


You need to venture up here to canada, where you can not only get fries, but fries supreme! (Picture, if you dare, french fries topped with cheese, taco meat and sour cream.)

/never had a problem with Taco Bell, digestive wise
//not much of a fast food guy to begin with
///Fries supreme ARE my kryptonite
 
2013-05-20 04:42:12 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


They have fries and chili fries in Canada. Often Taco Bell/KFC  are combined too. Fewer items and much higher prices overall than the US though.
 
2013-05-20 04:55:38 PM

jst3p: grinding_journalist: IdBeCrazyIf: I've been thinking of stopping in and asking if they can make me a pizza burrito

Went to a TBell/PH combo store and had them make me a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with pizza sausage instead of taco meat. Was better than you'd think.

Mostly unrelated but it reminds me of the time my kids (who are iCarly fans) talked me into making spaghetti  tacos, was better than expected.

/taco spaghetti (using Mexican spices on the meat rather than Italian) is pretty good too.


Mexican lasagna.

Mexican spiced beef
Cheddar cheese
Sour cream insteard of ricotta
Salsa instead of tomato sauce
Layer as you would a normal lasagna with regular lasagna noodles and bake and enjoy.
 
2013-05-20 05:24:53 PM

Pangea: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: 1 blender bottle, 2 scoops of vanilla cream whey protein, and 12oz of milk or cold water = a low calorie, nutritious, and filling breakfast that I can drink on my way to work, so no Taco Bell breakfast for me.

Bro, do you even lift?


I lift (not as often as I should), and I would rather eat my own shiat than suffer through a protein shake ever again. I think they are a practical joke that got out of hand.
 
2013-05-20 05:25:24 PM

The Southern Dandy: Warning: Not all Carl's Jr's are alike, so your mileage may vary, but...

Carl's Jr's Loaded Breakfast Burrito at my local Carl's Jr. is OUT FARKING STANDING!!!

Eggs, Cheese, Ham, Sausage, Hash Browns, Pico de Gallo wrapped in a steamy tortilla.

Heaven!


I'll stick to the loaded omlette biscuit.

/Hardee's in this neck of the woods.
 
2013-05-20 06:14:52 PM
does it have meat
 
2013-05-20 06:25:32 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


I feel the same way about Krispy Kreme.
 
2013-05-20 06:58:47 PM

UberDave: They should be adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon.


When the oil hits the anus, you'll regret it.
 
2013-05-20 07:37:53 PM
Damn. Just got finished with a grilled steak and lobster. I'm hungry again.
 
2013-05-20 07:39:46 PM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


Ok, I'm baffled. What does Mexican have to do with Taco Bell?
 
2013-05-20 08:02:53 PM

Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant


That was pretty awesome. Made me laugh more than 50% of stand-up acts.
 
2013-05-20 08:07:54 PM

kazikian: Psycoholic_Slag: tricycleracer: wildcardjack: SuperSonic breakfast burrito FTW. Especially good for dinner, since you can get them all hours.

Sorcery that McDonald's has yet to master.

WTF is up with that?  The biggest motherfu*king hamburger restaurant on this damned planet will not sale me a hamburger until what, 10:30am? Sh*t, I've been up for over 6 hours at that point and I'm ready for some goddamned lunch even if it's one of their sh*tty mass produced meat byproduct discs. [walks into McDonalds at 10:15am] "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Psycoholic_Slag, we lack the technology to cook eggs and meat byproduct discs at the same time and as soon as technology advances to that level we will be more than happy to provide you with the product that we sale more of than anyone else on this planet prior to 10:30am.  But if you wait 15 minutes our technicians will replace the current eggs and pancakes grill with the new meat byproduct disc grill so we can provide you with that which you seek."

Fu*kers

/end rant

That was pretty awesome. Made me laugh more than 50% of stand-up acts.


That's one helluva *sales job* too.

/LMAO
 
2013-05-20 09:18:36 PM

abfalter: Look at this.  I would eat the fark out of this.  And I have a Mountain Dew for breakfast every morning anyways so adding 5% orange juice won't kill me....


www.blogcdn.com


What about this?

cdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com

i734.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-20 10:22:16 PM

umad: I lift (not as often as I should), and I would rather eat my own shiat than suffer through a protein shake ever again. I think they are a practical joke that got out of hand.


I've tried a lot of different proteins and some are definitely better than others. Personally I think Optimum Nutrition is the tastiest. People were getting strong long before the invention of protein shakes, I just don't mind them.
 
2013-05-20 10:30:08 PM

Igor Jakovsky: The best part is that it only costs 99 cents.


img42.imageshack.us

Approves

TheSteamingPile: You need to venture up here to canada, where you can not only get fries, but fries supreme! (Picture, if you dare, french fries topped with cheese, taco meat and sour cream.)


What I've never understood about that is: why would ANY self-respecting diner order that in a country where you can get a proper poutine?
 
2013-05-20 10:33:01 PM

ZeroPly: Rapmaster2000: Only an idiot can screw up breakfast.  I'm sure it tastes fine.

One of my favorite breakfast combos is a waffle taco made from an Eggo waffle, 1 fried egg, sliced and pan fried potatoes, and kim chi. Don't get too many takers on that though.


Leave off the Kim Chi (crying first thing in the morning sucks).  Otherwise, you have my daily breakfast.
 
2013-05-21 12:38:45 AM

doczoidberg: You know what bugs me?

Taco Bell doesn't offer fries.

It's a fast food joint. It should have FRIES.

I just don't feel like I'm getting an complete fast food experience unless French fried potaters are involved.

And I don't care if they're not Mexican. Make it happen, Taco Bell!


Korean Taco Bell serves fries

http://www.tacobellkorea.com/menu/Fries_Bellgrande.asp
 
2013-05-21 05:20:43 AM

umad: Pangea: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: 1 blender bottle, 2 scoops of vanilla cream whey protein, and 12oz of milk or cold water = a low calorie, nutritious, and filling breakfast that I can drink on my way to work, so no Taco Bell breakfast for me.

Bro, do you even lift?

I lift (not as often as I should), and I would rather eat my own shiat than suffer through a protein shake ever again. I think they are a practical joke that got out of hand.

 
Was the guy who gave you the "protein shake" wearing a cowboy hat?
 
2013-05-21 06:58:19 AM

WhoopAssWayne: They'd be much wiser to skip the Mexican theming and go with a vanilla American-style breakfast menu instead. Biscuit sandwiches, potatoes, maybe pancakes, just the basics. The McDonalds here is always packed for breakfast, with a line of cars for the drive through, while most of the other fast food places are shuttered. If they could tap into some of that with a cloned breakfast menu, it might really work for them. Nothing novel, just a faster way to get the basics.


That's just stupid.

SickDonalds and Booger Fling already have the market for crap American breakfast garbage.  Those of us who HATE that shiat have to wait until after 11am for breakfast, when we'd like a motherfarking burrito or burger or fried chicken at 8.  I DO NOT EVER want anything on any fast food place's breakfast menu.  I hate biscuits, I despise overcooked eggs (and have you EVER been able to get an egg over easy at a fast food place?)  and I despise overcooked low-grade bacon and mostly-gristle sausage.

So no, Crotcho Smell certainly does not need to try to copy anybody else.  But they do either need to forget about eggs, or get me some nice runny eggs in my chorizo y huevos.
 
2013-05-21 07:00:15 AM
On second thought, forget it.

I make better Mexican food at home, and I can get that anytime I feel like cooking.  I'll just keep doing that.
 
2013-05-21 08:09:00 AM

grinding_journalist: Prank Call of Cthulhu: You'll wish you had a TARDIS so you could go back in time and stop yourself from eating them. If it's like every other Taco Bell meal, then the "scar in time" you leave behind won't be so much white and shimmery, as much as brown and splattery.

Am I the only person on the planet whose ass DOESN'T explode after eating TBell? I've never understood this complaint; you should probably see a doctor.


Mine doesn't either. However I tend to stick to the Tacos only.

I suspect it's all the fiber from the rice and beans creates a colon bomb in some people.
 
2013-05-21 08:10:33 AM
I think I'll stick with drinking my Red Bull and smoking Marlboro cigarettes for breakfast
 
2013-05-21 09:44:57 AM

mike_d85: YoOjo: "the sausage tastes like genuine animal bits"

Donkey penis?

Who said anything about mammals?


Think smaller, and more legs.
 
2013-05-21 01:19:47 PM
Now if you are pinched for money, the one thing I'd recommend ingesting from Taco Belgrade is a chicken burrito meal deal. Two buck fifty. It's a mild blast compared with the normal Blastega
 
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