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(Fresno Bee)   Home invader learns THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE   (fresnobee.com) divider line 104
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20772 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2013 at 9:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-19 08:38:27 PM  
img826.imageshack.us
 
2013-05-19 08:50:36 PM  
Careful, she bites.
i752.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-19 09:20:22 PM  
 
2013-05-19 09:35:50 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: ABC 30 reported the resident of the home was first tied up by 34-year-old Aaron Baeza and 30-year-old Christopher Rupe. But the resident convinced the robbers to untie him so that he could show them where he kept his money.
Weird story.


Further proof that the phrase "criminal mastermind" is usually an oxymoron.
 
2013-05-19 09:40:31 PM  
The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.
 
2013-05-19 09:41:42 PM  
The Kurgan nods slowly...
 
2013-05-19 09:41:51 PM  
Don't bring a gun to a sword fight, duh.
 
2013-05-19 09:44:21 PM  
How weird is that?

/obligatory
 
2013-05-19 09:44:41 PM  
farking awesome!!!!
 
2013-05-19 09:44:59 PM  

RealAmericanHero: The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.


At least nobody was shot. That's all that matters.
 
2013-05-19 09:45:50 PM  
Sweet Henry was a bit slim, but no one wouldn't chance him, because he was a samuraaaaaaaiiiiiii!
 
2013-05-19 09:49:24 PM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-05-19 09:50:10 PM  
That homeowner sounds like.a real prince of the universe.
 
2013-05-19 09:50:40 PM  

Hzchewtoy: [img826.imageshack.us image 404x303]


I've never said this before, but over in one. Look for the guy running around with the nasty neck wound...
 
2013-05-19 09:52:57 PM  
Approves...
profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2013-05-19 09:53:18 PM  

Kyoki: The Kurgan nods slowly...


Oh god, that was on TV a day or two ago, we hadnt seen it in decades.....and....Clancy...the voice....he's never really changed it in all these years.  He kept it the same, even into his animation career.  So all the dialog is going and we just cant stop ourselves:  "There can be only ONE, and it wont be squidward!"  It was nonstop spongebob interjection.
 
2013-05-19 09:54:12 PM  
Ramirez ...
 
2013-05-19 09:56:54 PM  
As a guy with no fire arms and a nice sword collection, I nod in approval.
 
2013-05-19 09:57:12 PM  

RealAmericanHero: The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.


If we can't trust the character assassinations of anonymous assholes on the Internet, then what can we trust?
 
2013-05-19 09:57:13 PM  

Mister Peejay: How weird is that?

/obligatory


cdn.hark.com
/assuming that's what you were referencing
 
2013-05-19 09:58:39 PM  

RealAmericanHero: The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.


Where do you get that fact from?
 
2013-05-19 10:00:17 PM  
Looking more like Pulp Fiction than like Highlander
 
2013-05-19 10:00:28 PM  

duenor: RealAmericanHero: The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.

Where do you get that fact from?


Hero News Network, decoded by his Hero Decoder Ring.
 
2013-05-19 10:00:48 PM  
So at first I thought the mugshot was part one of two - first the part that got cut off.. then I clicked it and...

SURPRISE PERP.
 
2013-05-19 10:01:54 PM  
(the image doesn't display correctly in Safari, and just shows the top part of the image, in case it looks fine for everyone else and nobody has any idea what I'm talking about...)
 
2013-05-19 10:05:40 PM  

HighZoolander: (the image doesn't display correctly in Safari, and just shows the top part of the image, in case it looks fine for everyone else and nobody has any idea what I'm talking about...)


Same in Firefox.  I assumed the lower half of his face was physically chopped off.
 
2013-05-19 10:07:38 PM  

HotWingAgenda: HighZoolander: (the image doesn't display correctly in Safari, and just shows the top part of the image, in case it looks fine for everyone else and nobody has any idea what I'm talking about...)

Same in Firefox.  I assumed the lower half of his face was physically chopped off.


Well, that would be a twist on The Game.
 
2013-05-19 10:08:45 PM  
 
2013-05-19 10:09:53 PM  

HotWingAgenda: HighZoolander: (the image doesn't display correctly in Safari, and just shows the top part of the image, in case it looks fine for everyone else and nobody has any idea what I'm talking about...)

Same in Firefox.  I assumed the lower half of his face was physically chopped off.


Well duh. A sword was involved.
 
2013-05-19 10:12:00 PM  

RealAmericanHero: The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.


The only thing that stops the bad guy with a grovely voice is a Connor MacLeod with Ramirez's katana.

Highlander 3 doesn't count.
 
2013-05-19 10:12:49 PM  
Swords make much bigger holes and are quiter, but you do have to beclose
 
2013-05-19 10:15:51 PM  
I call bullshiat. No one can defend themselves without assault rifles and monstrous clips.
 
2013-05-19 10:16:52 PM  
Now someone will complain enough to have sword control laws and that the grip made it an "assault weapon".
 
2013-05-19 10:20:53 PM  

sethstorm: Now someone will complain enough to have sword control laws and that the grip made it an "assault weapon".


So... that would made the Gunblade a Weapon of Mass Destruction?

fc02.deviantart.net
 
2013-05-19 10:20:56 PM  

duenor: RealAmericanHero: The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.

Where do you get that fact from?


Who cares? Even if correct, it's irrelevant - two armed assholes tried to rob him in his home, and as a result one of the assholes is a fugitive and the other asshole is dead.

Hero tag is still deserved, especially if the police declined to press charges.
 
2013-05-19 10:23:32 PM  
It's better to burn out than to fade away!

(Nuns. No sense of humor!)
 
2013-05-19 10:29:01 PM  

Tsar_Bomba1: Approves...
[profile.ak.fbcdn.net image 200x253]


I  wonder if that's his letter opener? :P
 
2013-05-19 10:37:52 PM  
Home-invader-learns-THERE-CAN-ONLY-BE-ONE

The line is, "There can be only one."
Someone had to say it. I was hoping somebody else would, but nooo, so I have to look like the jerk.
 
2013-05-19 10:38:32 PM  

sethstorm: Now someone will complain enough to have sword control laws and that the grip made it an "assault weapon".


I know you're just joking... but now I wonder how that would be approached, if necessary.  I mean, consider the Indonesian keris.  It's grip is basically a pistol grip, because it's a stabbing weapon (historically poisoned) and useless for defense or a prolonged battle.  But it's far less dangerous than a katana with a much straighter grip.
 
2013-05-19 10:45:48 PM  
 So you should bring a sword to a gunfight, not a knife...that clears *that* up!
 
2013-05-19 10:49:15 PM  

FormlessOne: duenor: RealAmericanHero: The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.

Where do you get that fact from?

Who cares? Even if correct, it's irrelevant - two armed assholes tried to rob him in his home, and as a result one of the assholes is a fugitive and the other asshole is dead.

Hero tag is still deserved, especially if the police declined to press charges.


Yeah, it has some relevance because if he really is a drug dealer it's not as heroic killing someone who is trying to steal your illegal drugs then trying to steal your TV.
 
2013-05-19 10:49:37 PM  

Percise1: Hzchewtoy: [img826.imageshack.us image 404x303]

I've never said this before, but over in one. Look for the guy running around with the nasty neck wound...


I'm not sure why anyone says that, especially when the thread has obviously continued past that post.

What I would have said was, "Congratulations on getting a really obvious movie reference."
 
2013-05-19 10:52:18 PM  
This was predictable:
 
2013-05-19 10:53:14 PM  
fark 404s.

www.vanityfair.com
 
2013-05-19 10:54:52 PM  

dennysgod: FormlessOne: duenor: RealAmericanHero: The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.

Where do you get that fact from?

Who cares? Even if correct, it's irrelevant - two armed assholes tried to rob him in his home, and as a result one of the assholes is a fugitive and the other asshole is dead.

Hero tag is still deserved, especially if the police declined to press charges.

Yeah, it has some relevance because if he really is a drug dealer it's not as heroic killing someone who is trying to steal your illegal drugs then trying to steal your TV.


My TV is made of pure Colombian cocaine.
 
2013-05-19 11:04:15 PM  

dennysgod: FormlessOne: duenor: RealAmericanHero: The guy with the sword was a drug dealer but don't let that get in the way of a good hero tag.

Where do you get that fact from?

Who cares? Even if correct, it's irrelevant - two armed assholes tried to rob him in his home, and as a result one of the assholes is a fugitive and the other asshole is dead.

Hero tag is still deserved, especially if the police declined to press charges.

Yeah, it has some relevance because if he really is a drug dealer it's not as heroic killing someone who is trying to steal your illegal drugs then trying to steal your TV.


You can have the TV, don't fark with the illegal drugs. That's a stabbing.
 
2013-05-19 11:07:09 PM  

Rocket To Russia: Home-invader-learns-THERE-CAN-ONLY-BE-ONE

The line is, "There can be only one."
Someone had to say it. I was hoping somebody else would, but nooo, so I have to look like the jerk.


And for one shining moment, you were the most important person in this whole thread.

*high five*
 
2013-05-19 11:08:33 PM  

Valiente: fark 404s.

[www.vanityfair.com image 493x355]


What if it's for decorative purposes?
 
2013-05-19 11:10:23 PM  

HotWingAgenda: sethstorm: Now someone will complain enough to have sword control laws and that the grip made it an "assault weapon".

I know you're just joking... but now I wonder how that would be approached, if necessary.  I mean, consider the Indonesian keris.  It's grip is basically a pistol grip, because it's a stabbing weapon (historically poisoned) and useless for defense or a prolonged battle.  But it's far less dangerous than a katana with a much straighter grip.


In New York City a blade longer than 4" and not obviously a kitchen knife is how they approach it.
 
2013-05-19 11:13:36 PM  

HotWingAgenda: sethstorm: Now someone will complain enough to have sword control laws and that the grip made it an "assault weapon".

I know you're just joking... but now I wonder how that would be approached, if necessary.  I mean, consider the Indonesian keris.  It's grip is basically a pistol grip, because it's a stabbing weapon (historically poisoned) and useless for defense or a prolonged battle.  But it's far less dangerous than a katana with a much straighter grip.


Counter: Most people who own Katanas own them because they are 'cool', and probably don't know how to cut with one properly (I'm pretty sure you're supposed to use drawing cuts, and not slashes?)
 
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